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On 4/18/2018 at 1:10 PM, kachuu said:

On the same note, i remember talking to a guy i was dating who made a comment that sometimes he would have an erection over no fault of his own. I was shocked to hear this- being a girl I always thought that men had to be visually or mentally aroused, but no. He said the most awkward place it happened was church. Which, to me is the most unsexual place  you could possibly be horny at. 

He stated that when he was a kid, he really had no control over it. Also, super interesting. Especially cause I'm pregnant with a boy and dealing with this kind of issue is in my future :pb_lol:

The downplay of it all just seems like so much "you" are being sinful when in realty your body is doing what it does naturally. I can only imagine the guilt, anxiety, and pressure that is created in your head. After years of this THEN getting married and being told alright- go and multiple just seems like such a mind fuck, IMO.

I know this is kind of an inactive thread, but I saw this and had to comment. My husband and I joke about it now, but when we first started dating he would wear two pairs of shorts. Like, if he was already wearing basketball shorts, he'd throw on cargo shorts over them before we hung out. I had no idea at the time, but this was to hide surprise erections that would inevitably happen when we were together. At the time we were involved in a christian student organization so any sexy things meant AWFUL SINNING PERSON. Poor guy. I mean it wasn't totally random and he was aroused to a degree, but he said he'd get so embarrassed and it was totally unintentional. 

It's sweet now, though. We were each other's first and definitely didn't end up waiting for marriage. We actually had pretty significant rough patch early into our relationship because of this. There was a lot of pressure to not date at the time, because apparently we needed to be focusing on "saving" new students, or something. Add that to the fact we felt incredibly guilty for doing anything beyond kissing, and we had a challenging several months. I'd have nightmares that we would break up. 

Ironically, the best decision we made was to literally say "fuck it" and stop worrying about sexual purity, and embrace the fact we actually had a healthy and compatible relationship. Eight years later and we have no regrets. 

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