SAHD's purity pact

[batwing]

surrenderingmyall.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-purity-pact.html

Here's a snippet of the blog post:

TAYLOR'S PURITY PACT

* I am committed to courtship, and refuse to date.

* I will not have solitary phone conversations with young men.

* I will not be in a room alone with another man.

* I will keep physical contact with young men (and guys in general) to a minimum: handshakes and "quick" hugs are acceptable, "long hugs", holding hands, patting back/arm, etc. are not allowable.

* If I feel intimidated or am made uncomfortable by any guy (young or old), I will seek help, protection, and safety from my older brother, father, or another safe person.

* Emails to young men are done through the family's email account for accountability purposes and generally will have an editor - unless it is a quick correspondence. My parents have access to all my email accounts, and business emails with men are focused on business.

* I will not have in-depth personal conversations with young men.

* No snail mail correspondence with any guy.

* I will not ride alone in a vehicle with a young man, and generally not with any guy, unless out of great necessity.

* As for me, I will avoid and shun flirtatious behavior. This behavior is appalling to me and definitely "unattractive".

Some of it I think is great, if she feels intimidated or uncomfortable, yes! seek out a "safe" person. That is genuinely a good idea.

But not being alone in a room, car, or on the phone with a guy? Not writing letters to a guy (couldn't her family review them for her if she wanted to be extra careful? :eusa-think: ) I can't figure out if she's jaded or afraid. How would she even court if she can't have a personal conversation, phone call, mail, email, etc. with a guy? Do these rules go out the window once she's courting?

Color me one confused harlot.

ETA: also, she refers to herself in the third person in her "about me" sidebar. :evil:

[doggie]

no in depth talking how will she get to know anyone? sounds like one of those permanent sahd's in the making. So much fear the only males she will ever touch will be in diapers.

[docmom]

She will fit in well in Saudi Arabia.

[finleeport]

What is SAHD again? I forgot

[debrand]

I find the worship and idolization of virginity among the fundies to be deeply troubling. Is she honestly so sex obsessed that if she sits alone with a male in a room, she will start having sex with him right there? Will a phone conversation turn her into a raging nymphomaniac?

[BlackHawk]

I find the worship and idolization of virginity among the fundies to be deeply troubling. Is she honestly so sex obsessed that if she sits alone with a male in a room, she will start having sex with him right there? Will a phone conversation turn her into a raging nymphomaniac?

LMAO.. nice.

Anyway, since when is it bad to write letters or have in-depth conversation? How do you get to know someone well enough to marry or court them? I will never understand this push to never do anything with the opposite sex cause you might be seen as "giving away a piece of your heart"... seriously, does having a conversation with someone mean you give them your heart? Ugh... very annoying.

[doggie]

I find the worship and idolization of virginity among the fundies to be deeply troubling. Is she honestly so sex obsessed that if she sits alone with a male in a room, she will start having sex with him right there? Will a phone conversation turn her into a raging nymphomaniac?

I think fundies think that. and they saw we have uncontrolled sexual thoughts.

[MrsYoungie]

What is SAHD again? I forgot

Stay At Home Daughter

i.e. Daughter remaining in the family home until marriage or death.

[saraelise]

What is SAHD again? I forgot

Stay At Home Daughter

[batwing]

Re: SAHD/Stay At Home Daughter, I laugh every time I see it. My husband is a Stay At Home Dad (also called SAHD). A few weeks ago he saw an article that said something about "SAHD" for the first time and he pronounces it out loud like "sad" and he goes, "well no wonder dads don't want to stay at home if people call them 'sads'".

[Confused_by_religion]

I hate to say it, but this girl would actually profit from the Botkins webinar on "marrying well". The have whole lists of in-depth questions to ask prospective spouses, and I'm sure they'd encourage her even to ask them on the phone.

Or, she could, of course, have her parents rely on this delightful post: http://quivermen.blogspot.com/2010/11/suitors-of-help-meets-what-you-need-to.html. :lol:

[titus2_4u]

When I first saw the SAHD reference, I thought it was stay-at-home-dad, too. I couldn't figure out why so many fundies were okay with non-traditional family structures.

Then the epiphany. Oh, they're non-traditional, just a completely different and "sahdder" kind of backlash.

[Angri-la]

Re: SAHD/Stay At Home Daughter, I laugh every time I see it. My husband is a Stay At Home Dad (also called SAHD). A few weeks ago he saw an article that said something about "SAHD" for the first time and he pronounces it out loud like "sad" and he goes, "well no wonder dads don't want to stay at home if people call them 'sads'".

Bwahahaha, I have a SAHD, too! Who knew! He defrauds me daily, however, and did not stay under his father's command, before the authority was passed on to me at our wedding.

[batwing]

Bwahahaha, I have a SAHD, too! Who knew! He defrauds me daily, however, and did not stay under his father's command, before the authority was passed on to me at our wedding.

Our oldest son was at our wedding (and was 14 months old) so I'm pretty sure we can't even pass him off as an oddly large preemie :dance:

Now I feel like if I'm going to talk about SAHDs I'm going to have to differentiate, maybe we can say Man-SAHDs and Spinster-SAHDs or something like that.

[Kitten]

Point of clarification - I believe all those questions, in-depth conversations, and correspondence would be permitted IN A COURTSHIP situation. What she is referring to is contact with a man when she is not "courting" with him.

OTOH, how very..."SAD" for her. Not a life I would want, devoid of rich, deep friendships with 50% of the population.

[Koala]

Why on earth would they want to "court" someone they had never had an in depth conversation with???

These people are beyond insane.

[deborahlynn1979]

In the comments on her "saved forever?" posts, she's engaging in a discussion with a guy named Daniel. How defrauding of her!!

[Angri-la]

Our oldest son was at our wedding (and was 14 months old) so I'm pretty sure we can't even pass him off as an oddly large preemie

I am a bigger harlot, then! Our daughter, who was 3 going on 4, was my flower girl. As I am a red head, married to a blue eyed blond, we couldn't pass our African American girl off as any kind of preemie!

OT: am I the only one who finds it amusing that the post button at FJ says "SUBMIT"? That's the only time I do that verb.

[pomology]

surrenderingmyall.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-purity-pact.html

Here's a snippet of the blog post:

Some of it I think is great, if she feels intimidated or uncomfortable, yes! seek out a "safe" person. That is genuinely a good idea.

But not being alone in a room, car, or on the phone with a guy? Not writing letters to a guy (couldn't her family review them for her if she wanted to be extra careful? :eusa-think: ) I can't figure out if she's jaded or afraid. How would she even court if she can't have a personal conversation, phone call, mail, email, etc. with a guy? Do these rules go out the window once she's courting?

Color me one confused harlot.

ETA: also, she refers to herself in the third person in her "about me" sidebar. :evil:

WTF. But seriously some of my best friends are guys and they are not guys that I am dating or even have a chance of dating (several of them, because they have teh ghey). We have in-depth personal conversations. It's not a big deal. Why are her parents teaching her to be afraid of male-identified persons? It's so fucked up.

[kaetrin]

When I was young and idealistic and committed to courtship, I was all fired up about the idea that it actually made meaningful non-romantic relationships possible between the genders. Silly me.

And yes, my fundie brother in law was apparently convinced that he would turn into a raging dangerous sex maniac if alone with a girl. He's not my favorite person but it upsets me that this teaching led him to think so little of himself.

I really hate the gender wars. It's the one thing I will voluntarily argue with my fundie inlaws about -- how all this crazy segregated gender essentialism actually makes us less human.

[blisterine]

I will not ride alone in a vehicle with a young man, and generally not with any guy, unless out of great necessity.

anybody know where in the bible i can find the difference in a young man and a guy?

[Trynn]

Blisterine, I LOVE your avatar! Is it just me or do the skeletons change directions?

I am still a virgin, and still plan on remaining that way till marriage, (my own personal choice I've made as an adult, not being forced to by anyone.) but even according to that definition I am a freakin' slut.

[myanimus]

In the about Taylor it says

Taylor is an 19-year old Photoshop-happy, pencil-and-paper-loving, music-enthusiast, and admitted “blonde†young woman from Minnesota. She resides with her wonderful, but sometimes crazy family of two parents, seven siblings, an elderly friend, and two cats on 7.8 acres.

Holy hell! I can't imagine choosing to live that way. Dates, boyfriends, choosing my own husband. I don't know whether I feel bad or if I'm angry.

[slh12280]

I was not brought up this way really, but I don't think it is a good thing entirely. I am a fairly shy person so I haven't had much interaction with the opposite sex and let me tell ya it hasn't been a positive. Now I kinda lack some social skills which I think are important. Anyway, people should learn how to have friendly relationships with the opposite sex before they get married.

[Lillian]

How will she ever get to know any young men at all?? It boggles the mind.

Btw, saraelise I love your avi :D