Fundy pomes (OK, & poetry too)

[Lurky]

I have a soft spot for terrible inspirational pomes and poetry, and galvanised by Jill Rodrigues, Miss Raquel, and Patriarch Maulucci's devotionals, I went looking for more in the archives.  But dear, dear Free Jingerites, I'm sure I've missed a lot, so pretty please, if you can remember any, please do share, to help a sister snark  meditate on the beauty of the SOTDRT language - especially if you have a favourite pome from any of our regulars.

• Obviously Miss Raquel is famous round here, and her blog is full of pomes
• John Shrader wrote an inspirational pome celebrating, erm, himself and his life, & I'll always be grateful to @VanillaBean for sharing it
• Patriarch Maulucci has a whole section of Poetry in Blue Jeans on his site, including the scriptures in "iambic pentameter"
• The PP has a blog just for his pomes, as critiqued in this awesome thread started by @cassandra, but sadly it's not been updated since 2012 (I especially like that touch of highlighting the alliteration in case we hadn't noticed it: Finally, they faced the fact that forgetting the Lord etc)
• The One Bright Corner twins' pomes and fictionals, as shared by @formergothardite, which they helpfully collate with a tag on their blog
• Godly Womanhood poetry by Mrs. June Boisseleier ("thanks" @meda!)
• This children's pome about going to hell, as found by @samira_catlover in this thread
• Rebekah (Pearl) Anast's pome, as updated by mother Debi, from this thread
• And my all-time best-worst... who can forget Jill Rodrigues' elegy to her (still living) sister?  It's saved here, but for the full effect, you can see her read it here  (Dear Jill, can you write some poetry about Plexus next?)

(I would be so remiss if I didn't mention that I laughed 'til I cried at the FJ Poetry Event, because you're all geniuses!)

So, what am I missing? 

 

[AmazonGrace]

I don't know how fundy the author is but I like this poem about food : https://www.christart.com/poetry/poem5194.htm

TLDR; you should thank God for the foods that will give you a heart attack

[nickelodeon]

Don't forget this legendary pome. No more taco's, pizza's, eat out's or shrimp!

[Lurky]

@nickelodeon I've read that pome 3 times and I can't work out what's actually going on with it, except wow, that scansion!

@AmazonGrace I'm completely confused about that one too - is the message "eat your veggies", or that God is vengeful, and if you don't say grace, he'll strike you down, OT style?  And how is the glutton eating an apple, if he never eats fruit & veg?  I'm so confuuused!

[polecat]

Fundy poems are the worst. But in a hilariously bad way.

[LadyCrow1313]

For a second, I thought the thread title said "fundy porns". Just shows you where my head's at, doesn't it? 

And speaking of which: a fundy porn? Eww.

[Lurky]

@LadyCrow1313 frumper porn?  Rule 32 says it's likely to be out there somewhere!

[December]

On 9/6/2016 at 3:00 PM, Lurky said:

 Rule 32 says it's likely to be out there somewhere!

Rule 34  And I'm sure there is something akin to it somewhere on the internet. After all, I remember there being Amish-themed "romance" novels in the library when I was a kid... frumper porn isn't that far off. But I'm not volunteering to find it! 

[catlady]

oh, there's still plenty of Amish Romance out there; Beverly Lewis seems to be their queen. 

several years ago I belonged to this book club through Harlequin; I liked some of their historicals.  but one of the categories was Christian Romance.  I never read any of them, but it's probably close to what you're (not) looking for!!