Warning: Godly Womanhood leads to crappy poetry

[meda]

Bambi (not Brandi) , the gift that keeps on giving, has given us this:

Where is Your Ministry?

 

 

My ministry is in this home

I'm keeper here; I need not roam.

My hands are busy washing pots.

I'm ironing clothes and scrubbing spots.

My service to the ones I love

Flows from the heart of God above.

Through me, His vessel in this house,

He loves my kids, He loves my spouse.

My love is glue that holds us tight.

The nest's secure both day and night.

I'm always here to dry a tear.

To rub a back or calm a fear.

My "house band" makes an iron band

Around our hearts, our house, our land.

Secure, surrounded with His care.

We frolic in the love we share.

And in this circle I'm the heart.

I pump the blood to every part.

God's love flows out from me to each.

Then rebounds back from every reach.

Let others go their dreams to build.

My place is here; I am fulfilled.

I'm loved and praised; my heart is set.

By giving, all my needs are met

Written by Mrs. June Boisseleier

The original, complete with odd and random font, color and underlinings.

nurseryofthenation.com/

I will now drink heavily in a vain attempt to erase this doggerel from my mind. :shock:

ETA: fixed because even the threat of drinking limits my ability to name the idiot fundie correctly

[Artemis]

Where is that barfing smiley when you need it?

[MonkeyMomma]

Is "house-band" supposed to be a clever play on husband?

[Sola]

Where is that barfing smiley when you need it?

Page 8 of the smilies.

[JesusFightClub]

Is "house-band" supposed to be a clever play on husband?

I hope not, as that makes the following lines even creepier. :shock: And "frolic"? Really?

[jaynie]

Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, I think you might have some competition for your title. #nerd

[Artemis]

I think she could even give William McGonagall a run for his money

[AtroposHeart]

Oh, my that is some bad poetry.

I am going to need an hour of Maya Angelou to get over this.

[meda]

Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, I think you might have some competition for your title. #nerd

I prefer dead swans to this.

[rock_girl]

I hope not, as that makes the following lines even creepier. :shock: And "frolic"? Really?

Yeah, my dog frolics, right before she settles down for a good arse licking session.

[clarinetpower]

I can't believe she missed the opportunity to rhyme "pots" with "snots".

And it's Bambi. I was hoping Brandi was back, but no luck for the wicked.

[mirele]

That's Vogon poetry, except in English, right?

[meda]

speaking of Vogons, try the poetry generator:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/v ... rgen.shtml

What happened when I entered fundie buzzwords:

See, see the submissive sky

Marvel at its big sparkling depths.

Tell me, heaven do you

Wonder why the patriarch ignores you?

Why its foobly stare

makes you feel keeper at home.

I can tell you, it is

Worried by your purposed facial growth

That looks like

A soup.

What's more, it knows

Your fellowshiping potting shed

Smells of garden.

Everything under the big submissive sky

Asks why, why do you even bother?

You only charm diapers.

[Hane]

Is "house-band" supposed to be a clever play on husband?

Yes, kind of. I've seen this in Victorian-era writing (Little Women, for instance), as a kind of reference to the etymological roots of the word "husband."

Oh, and meda? Kudos on your magnificence.

[emmiedahl]

speaking of Vogons, try the poetry generator:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/v ... rgen.shtml

What happened when I entered fundie buzzwords:

See, see the submissive sky

Marvel at its big sparkling depths.

Tell me, heaven do you

Wonder why the patriarch ignores you?

Why its foobly stare

makes you feel keeper at home.

I can tell you, it is

Worried by your purposed facial growth

That looks like

A soup.

What's more, it knows

Your fellowshiping potting shed

Smells of garden.

Everything under the big submissive sky

Asks why, why do you even bother?

You only charm diapers.

I--I think you just won the internetz!

[pixydust]

Well, she's no Dylan Thomas!

[mkitten]

:clap: :clap: :clap:

speaking of Vogons, try the poetry generator:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/hitchhikers/v ... rgen.shtml

What happened when I entered fundie buzzwords:

See, see the submissive sky

Marvel at its big sparkling depths.

Tell me, heaven do you

Wonder why the patriarch ignores you?

Why its foobly stare

makes you feel keeper at home.

I can tell you, it is

Worried by your purposed facial growth

That looks like

A soup.

What's more, it knows

Your fellowshiping potting shed

Smells of garden.

Everything under the big submissive sky

Asks why, why do you even bother?

You only charm diapers.

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: I'm now off to check out the link! :D

[marmalade]

That's Vogon poetry, except in English, right?

Oh, well played! A definite front-runner for winner of the Interwebz today. :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance:

I was sad that no one ever commented when I had the number 42 as my avatar.

Kelly Bates has posted some humdingers. They are always abab/cdcd, etc format, always iambic tetrameter so you can turn it into a lame song in 4/4 time.

[salsa]

He loves my kids, He loves my spouse.

My love is glue that holds us tight.

He loves your kids and your headship but not you, but your love is supposed to glue the family together? Where does your love come from, darlin'? You're not deserving of divine love but you have to give love from ... what, exactly? The only people who can love are those who are loved.