Now Scheduling for Summer: Erika Shupe (pt. 7)

[deborahlynn1979]

New repost about potty training your children, full of embarrassing photos of her kids in diapers and nothing else.

I'm not a parent, but this seems like something mean to do: Erika says before her kids are potty trained, she stops giving them water at 5 pm. I can't imagine going that long without water, even if I was in bed by 7. Is that normal to deprive your kids of water that early in the day?

[Eternalbluepearl]

Her potty-training never seems super effective to me. They train in a few hours but then are in Pull Ups for years. Oh Erika... 

[princessmahina]

So I have no children or younger siblings or really any small children around me at all and have some questions about "normal" potty training. How long does it normally take? And are children usually in Pull-ups at night for awhile afterward? How much of this post is strange? By now I've gathered that most people don't do it in a day/weekend, but I'm not sure about most of the other stuff.

[mango_fandango]

Oh God. It hasn't been changed at all. It still makes out that Tyler was the last child done, and it's still got that bit about Karen freaking out when she pooped in the toilet. The deleting spree seems entirely pointless. (Except there are still comments up from 2012 so don't think it was a deleted post.)

[refugee]

45 minutes ago, deborahlynn1979 said:

New repost about potty training your children, full of embarrassing photos of her kids in diapers and nothing else.

I'm not a parent, but this seems like something mean to do: Erika says before her kids are potty trained, she stops giving them water at 5 pm. I can't imagine going that long without water, even if I was in bed by 7. Is that normal to deprive your kids of water that early in the day?

It's such a cliche, too, that kids ask for water after you put them to bed...

Mommy! I'm thirsty!

Sure, it can be a stalling technique (at least one of my kids seemed to function just fine on half the sleep I need to function), but since I don't enjoy thirst myself, I didn't think it would be right to inflict it on my children, stalling or not.

[Pammy]

54 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

So I have no children or younger siblings or really any small children around me at all and have some questions about "normal" potty training. How long does it normally take? And are children usually in Pull-ups at night for awhile afterward? How much of this post is strange? By now I've gathered that most people don't do it in a day/weekend, but I'm not sure about most of the other stuff.

It's more common to try various techniques involving parent-intiated toilet or potty visits with tiny rewards for each success (or, at the beginning, rewards for just sitting and "trying"). This usually takes a few weeks, and the child is in pull-up diapers through out.

As the skill catches on, you can tell because you are working with dry diapers, and toileting successes, more and more often. When diapers are reliably dry and the habits are going well, you switch to underwear and take the risk of accidents.

Kids really differ: some catch on with #1 easily, and #2 is harder; but it's vice-versa of others. Some are night-dry very soon, and others are not night-dry for years. Some have behaviour difficulties (they don't want to, they find some aspects worth avoiding, they seek control), others have physical difficulties (trouble with sensing, controlling, pushing, waking from sleep), and some have an easy time.

Kids who are not night-dry are not usually considered trained (unless it has been a while and day times are fine, which means they can be called 'trained' -- bed wetting in older kids is normal too).

[elliha]

1 hour ago, princessmahina said:

So I have no children or younger siblings or really any small children around me at all and have some questions about "normal" potty training. How long does it normally take? And are children usually in Pull-ups at night for awhile afterward? How much of this post is strange? By now I've gathered that most people don't do it in a day/weekend, but I'm not sure about most of the other stuff.

It depends on the child. My daughter just stopped wanting to wear a diaper and I said OK but you need to go to the bathroom and use the potty or toilet and she did with a few mishaps during the first months but that was perhaps every 3 days to once a week so not that often. We kept her in a diaper for about a month or so at night but after having had no wet diapers at all we stopped using them too. She was 3 at the time. Most people I know have just stopped letting the child be in diapers or the child asked to be out of diapers. I know some who tried rewards but it doesn't seem that you have to do that. My colleague had a son who peed in the potty fine but seemed scared of pooping. She bribed him to try it by buying a tractor she knew he would like and told him that he only needed to do one easy thing to get it, poop once in the toilet or potty. It took him two days to dare to try it and he was successful. He kept using the toilet after that too.

Having accidents both day and night for the first months is normal and being dry at night is partly hormonal so some children would use diapers or protective sheets for years after being out of diapers. 

[Anonymousguest]

The length of time and the age can vary greatly. Generally I say if potty training it's crashing on and on for weeks or even months it means their child wasn't ready. And that can mean physically or emotionally. 

I always started talking about the potty when they were old enough to understand, what it's for, what you do there, that you don't wear diapers any more, other people we know use it. And when they are bigger they will use it too. I'll offer to let them sit on it. Give a small reward if they go. Eventually I'll ask if maybe they want to try wearing panties and using the potty instead of the diaper. After a couple days if they don't seem to be "getting" it we go back to the diapers, no judgment or condemnation. Then I'll try again. My experience is when they are ready it takes only a few days, and that's without juicing them up and making a production out of it. Mine have been fully potty trained between 18m and 3yrs. A couple of them wore diapers at night for awhile, but mine mostly were day and night trained at the same time. My youngest did not have a single accident, day or night after she decided she didn't want to wear diapers again. I think she's the only one who never had a night time accident. I never restricted fluid, but that is a fairly common recommendation, even from pediatricians. I also used cloth diapers, and never used pull ups.

[QuiverDance]

2 hours ago, deborahlynn1979 said:

New repost about potty training your children, full of embarrassing photos of her kids in diapers and nothing else.

I'm not a parent, but this seems like something mean to do: Erika says before her kids are potty trained, she stops giving them water at 5 pm. I can't imagine going that long without water, even if I was in bed by 7. Is that normal to deprive your kids of water that early in the day?

 

I was just coming here to post about this.  She said "Child #2 - I trained our next daughter at 2-years and about 8 or 10-months and that worked much better for us.  She was ready physically and emotionally.  I did however monitor her water intake after about 5:00 pm, so that she had no more to drink after that except for 1/2 of a glass of water after dinner.  And I got her a 24 oz. water bottle so that she could drink a lot of water all morning so that she would not be so thirsty in the evening.  These plans helped her to stay dry at night."

My kids' dad does shit like this and it makes me fucking RAGEY.  Not giving a thirsty child water is something I am not down with.  If they wet the bed, they wet the bed.  

[mango_fandango]

Erika drinks about 32 oz water in about an hour and a half roughly during her morning prep. Man, she must constantly need the loo! When I google "32 oz water" I get loads of threads on parenting forums about needing to drink that much before an ultrasound, and people really needing a wee throughout. In metric that's about 910 millilitres roughly. She says she drinks it all at once cos she doesn't have time during the day otherwise. But it's in a water bottle though- surely she can just take sips whenever?

Remember, guys, this is the crazy bitch who limits her DOG'S water intake. This woman is utterly, utterly batshit.

ETA: new photo on Facebook about "organised children's painting". They draw a margin round the edge of the paper. Erika doesn't have to protect the table this way- I think she mentioned this before saying that protecting the table was too much work or some shit. Ugh, this woman depresses me. Limited creativity, literally. The phrasing "organised painting" is sad. 

[QuiverDance]

She is SUCH a control freak. 

[Desertrose]

Erika is just an idiot. I'm sure she blew a gasket when those kids wet during the night.  Heaven forbid if she had to do laundry more than she had scheduled.

Her kids are older, wonder why she continues to recycle old posts. No new material to write on? She did a post on Facebook about the kids painting and minimizing messes. I'm surprised she'd let the kids use paint.

[QuiverDance]

I won't lie, it is a total PITA to do extra loads of laundry, but at least sheets are easy.

[grandmadugger]

On 4/21/2016 at 0:09 PM, Cats B4 Quivers said:

1 lb of pasta (even whole wheat!) cannot properly feed 10-12 people. Maybe 10-12 mice but not growing children. There better be roasted chicken legs, and broccoli, and a salad, and dessert. Except this is Erika and she prefers raising starved, too hungry to think up mischief ghostly children. It's easier for her. 

I've been away for a long time but I'm so happy  sad to see that Erika is still batshit crazy.  My husband and I use 3/4 of a pound of pasta when I make dinner.  That's dinner for both of us and lunch for both us.  4 servings not 12.  I know my husband is a big eater but he's not eating 8 servings.

[Denim Jumper]

2 hours ago, princessmahina said:

So I have no children or younger siblings or really any small children around me at all and have some questions about "normal" potty training. How long does it normally take? And are children usually in Pull-ups at night for awhile afterward? How much of this post is strange? By now I've gathered that most people don't do it in a day/weekend, but I'm not sure about most of the other stuff.

I took the slacker-mom approach and let them give up diapers when they were good and ready, which was at the ages of 3.5, 3.5, and almost 4, respectively. The most interference from me was I would tackle them and sit them on the toilet if they were making a "going #2 face" and casually mention that its cleaner and easier than going in a diaper, and that I may or may not be out of wipes (I wasn't ). I think they were changing their own pee diapers at that point. The end result: all 3 of them said something to the effect of "Just give me some friggin underwear" and were day and night trained within a day or two.

Not saying it would work for everyone (and some do have an issue with kids that age still being in diapers), but for years I watched my friends set timers, hand out stickers, change Pull-Ups, and essentially potty train themselves (since the kids weren't actually using the potty on their own volition); I decided to bypass the whole mess and let them train themselves.

[feministxtian]

My oldest and youngest took the "overnight" approach to potty training...My daughter was about 2.5. She took her diaper off, loudly announced that she'd gone potty and REFUSED to wear training pants or anything long enough for us to go get her big-girl panties. After a serious temper tantrum on her part and Mommy standing her ground, she wore a pair of training pants long enough to go get the panties. Youngest was 3.5. He knew what he was doing but refused to go do it in the potty. So...again I took a radical approach. He stayed in the same nasty diaper all day...that night I put him in the bathtub, got him cleaned up and gave him a choice...diaper, pullup or big-boy drawers. He chose big-boy drawers, and was 100% day and night then. Middle child was a nightmare...and wet the bed until he was 10. 

[Loveday]

58 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Erika drinks about 32 oz water in about an hour and a half roughly during her morning prep. Man, she must constantly need the loo! When I google "32 oz water" I get loads of threads on parenting forums about needing to drink that much before an ultrasound, and people really needing a wee throughout. In metric that's about 910 millilitres roughly. She says she drinks it all at once cos she doesn't have time during the day otherwise. But it's in a water bottle though- surely she can just take sips whenever?

Remember, guys, this is the crazy bitch who limits her DOG'S water intake. This woman is utterly, utterly batshit.

ETA: new photo on Facebook about "organised children's painting". They draw a margin round the edge of the paper. Erika doesn't have to protect the table this way- I think she mentioned this before saying that protecting the table was too much work or some shit. Ugh, this woman depresses me. Limited creativity, literally. The phrasing "organised painting" is sad. 

Wait...she's so scheduled she can't take, oh, I don't know, THREE SECONDS to drink some water now and then during the day?

This is one wound-up-tight woman. 

[feministxtian]

I drink water all day...might have something to do with living in the desert where 30% humidity is considered a humid day. I've been known to pound back 16-24 oz of water in just a few minutes but...about 10 minutes later I need to find a potty. In the summer, I'll drink probably close to a half gallon or more of water a day. 

Erika is an asshole...who knows nothing about how to properly care for children or pets. 

[iheartchacos]

How old are the twins? Did I miss where she talks about training them??

[mango_fandango]

5 minutes ago, iheartchacos said:

How old are the twins? Did I miss where she talks about training them??

They're five now. There's a separate post about training the twins. Tip: get your teenage daughter to help out, claiming they're excited to help, but with photos proving otherwise. (Karen looks pretty grumpy in all the photos.)

[16strong]

19 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

They're five now. There's a separate post about training the twins. Tip: get your teenage daughter to help out, claiming they're excited to help, but with photos proving otherwise. (Karen looks pretty grumpy in all the photos.)

I think Erika goes out of her way to try to prove that the three oldest (especially Karen and Brandon) are just *thrilled* to help out or join in with the younger kids' activities. No, they are not, and yes, the photos prove otherwise. I think there's a reason Erika let Karen get a job. It's so she gets some Karen-free time. Try as Erika might (and you bet she did), I think Karen's boredom will never be what Erika thinks of as productive. Just "destructive." Which is okay. Some people are just very social "do-ers," and they always have to be doing something, going somewhere, and talking to someone. At the end of the day, doing you little sister's hair and drawing chalk pictures is old hat.

[molecule]

5 hours ago, princessmahina said:

So I have no children or younger siblings or really any small children around me at all and have some questions about "normal" potty training. How long does it normally take? And are children usually in Pull-ups at night for awhile afterward? How much of this post is strange? By now I've gathered that most people don't do it in a day/weekend, but I'm not sure about most of the other stuff.

My kids were all on the later side of potty training and were all within about a month of their third birthday. They were physically ready much earlier. Because I waited until they were really ready, they were night trained at the same time as day trained. I don't remember how long it took with two of the kids, but the son who was the oldest at the time of training took two days.

[Antimony]

What if she had had twins first? No teenage daughter then. Maybe actually enlist Bob, who should have been playing all of Karen's potty-training helper and late-night-feeding roles anyway?

[princessmahina]

49 minutes ago, Antimony said:

What if she had had twins first? No teenage daughter then. Maybe actually enlist Bob, who should have been playing all of Karen's potty-training helper and late-night-feeding roles anyway?

I would just about bet money that she wouldn't have been Quiverfull if she had started with twins. 

[Rubaiyat]

4 hours ago, Loveday said:

Wait...she's so scheduled she can't take, oh, I don't know, THREE SECONDS to drink some water now and then during the day?

This is one wound-up-tight woman. 

No way.  But, she totally has tons of time to pop in and out of the ladies' room, wash her hands, rearrange her clothing, etc... all without losing momentum or losing control of her carefully managed children.  

I drink a ridiculous amount of water (stupid meds) and am a frequent flyer in every powder room in our house.  It drives me freakin' bananas to have to constantly interrupt what I'm doing.  Plus, my offspring take the lack of direct line-of-sight supervision as a chance to screw off as quickly and vigorously as possible.  I'm not totally sure I believe her story about how much she drinks and when.  The practical consequences don't match up with the rest of her assertions.  Chugging 32 oz. of water in 30 minutes will have some pretty direct results that I absolutely don't see Erika dealing with gracefully.  

Lastly, Thou Shalt Not Deny Living Things Access to Water!!  Not dogs, not children, not anything!  Kids dehydrate so easily, and almost never get enough to drink on their own.  By the time they are thirsty, they are already on their way to dehydrated. Pretty sure everyone here understand that dehydration will mess you up.  What a terrible thing to do to a child!  I hate washing pee-sheets as much as the next exhausted mom, but I'll hand wash 6 beds every damn morning if it's the only way to get my kids properly hydrated.  (I'd also totally make my child army wash sheets right beside me, I'm not new. :-)  

Sigh...