Odd example of the Kool-Aid

[Bookworm]

A while ago I was visiting a friend and another of her friends was there. I have heard quite a bit about her from my friend before and she sounded like a pretty normal person, homeschooling two young kids and doing a lot of activities and things. The woman was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and was very nice. I would say both women are fundie-lite. We were all chatting and started talking about the upcoming school year and how my friend and my new acquaintance were planning their various lessons and what curricula they were using, how old the kids were, etc.

Being homeschooled myself I participated in this talk at first, but then this woman starts talking about why homeschooling is so great, how it allows us to escape government indoctrination, the evil values they teach in public school, how she went through public school the whole way and college but her kids probably should not go to college because it is so terrible, and going on about how really, socialization is not nearly such a big deal as people always try to say. She was not really talking at me, more to my friend, and they were kind of feeding off each other. When I said that yeah, I really was glad I was homeschooled and plan to do it myself, though my future kids will probably go to a high school, she tried to convince me it was totally possible to do high school at home. I really felt puzzled, like, "Hello? I just told you I was homeschooled the ENTIRE way. I have heard every single thing you are saying many, many times before. I used to say them constantly! You have been homeschooling for what, one or two years and yet you are insinuating it's really unwise and unnecessary to let my kids go to a high school someday and that I don't know what I'm talking about?"

It was just a weird experience. I never said one thing bad about homeschooling and I was having a good time and was not sitting there thinking she was some patrio wife so I don't think I was giving off vibes or anything, but this woman just began spouting lines like a Chatty Kathy doll and she really did not seem to hear anything I said about being homeschooled – things like it was cool because I had time to pursue a lot of interests I would not have had as much time for in regular school, or talking about how the freedom of homeschooling gives you a chance to copy things from successful schools in other countries, anything. I felt like she was trying to convince me that homeschooling was okay and that I should do it and treating me like someone who had barely ever heard of it before. It was so bizarre. I don't know if I did anything to make her feel defensive, but thinking back over my childhood I've realized now that homeschoolers do tend to do this – I can recall a lot of times that my parents or their friends or us children would be talking about homeschooling and go on a rant about socialization, academics, "good" values, etc. with very little prompting, often to each other.

It has stuck in my head a little because it was so weird to have someone who's been doing it for a couple years be so "I will teach you the basics" to someone who grew up that way.

[Austin]

Ack. I often notice that people are so busy pushing their own agenda, or trying to get it validated, that they don't even listen. And if they do listen for 30 seconds, if you aren't in total agreement with what they think, then you're all wrong and they roll out their most hyperbolic "proof". :roll:

[clibbyjo]

Many time new homeschool moms think they know more than those who grew up homeschooled or even Moms who have been homeschooling for years. At this point, we smile, sit back and wait for them to get back to reality and they always do. I have never talked about socialization or good values with my friends because we are secular homeschoolers and our kids have more activities than anyone I know. We do discuss different curriculums and classes and stuff like that ,because its what we do.

I am taking my son over to the evil school pool in 1/2 an hour because he is trying out for the PUBLIC SCHOOL swim team. Yeah, I didn't know anyone in my group whose kids are not involved with school kids.I have seen it with Christian homeschoolers because even my kids aren;t good enough for them. OH well, our kids will be successful, theirs will collect our garbage.(no offense against garbage men :))

[kaetrin]

I totally feel you, bookworm. I was hard-core-fundie-homeschooled (ATI/Gothard) all the way through high school, but my non-ATI fundie inlaws still get into these moods where they try to convince me about things like how dating makes you lose pieces of your heart and how the Bible proves that the earth is around 6000 years old... and I'm (mostly :) )too polite to stop them and say something like, "Hello? Did you forget that my past is even more extreme than yours, and the reason I don't adhere to these ideas is not because I've just never heard them before and if only you would trot out your proof texts one more time I might see the light??" But they aren't interested in how someone could actually understand their arguments and choose not to agree with them any more - they just want to be the Wise Elders passing on their fundie talking points.

[TVR]

I think new, young homeschool moms are over-eager (you know like new breastfeeding moms/new converts to healthy eating/new non-smokers etc. etc. etc). They feel like they have to justify their choices and that they need to convince others in order to validate their own choices. Right now I'm rolling my eyes at all the blog posts from these newbies. I understand their need to defend their choices because a lot of people are not positive regarding homeschooling. We've been doing it for 10 years, so I no longer feel that pressure or need to justify anything to anyone.

[liltwinstar]

Heh - as a kid, my mom used to get the Teaching Home Magazine, and they would always publish these glowing letters that went something like "I started homeschooling my children two weeks ago and it's the best thing that ever happened to us and in two weeks they've made more progress than they did in the entire school year in public school and now we know they'll never go to hell/hold hands with a boy/wear a t-shirt in public because we have SEEN THE LIGHT and we're telling all our friends that they should homeschool too!!!!"

I used to laugh at those letters, and I was just a kid!

[Bookworm]

Phew, I'm glad you guys have noticed it too. For a while after it happened I kept wondering if I said or did something in particular to trigger it.

Austin, as a teen I was really bad about steamrolling people with enthusiasm for things! I did eventually figure out a little more tact, but :oops: :D

clibbyjo - someday I want my kids to have as much enrichment as yours have.

kaetrin - Wise Elders, LOL!

liltwinstar - we got Teaching Home too, I wonder why I never really read them. Those letters would have been funny.

I think new, young homeschool moms are over-eager (you know like new breastfeeding moms/new converts to healthy eating/new non-smokers etc. etc. etc). They feel like they have to justify their choices and that they need to convince others in order to validate their own choices.

Yeah, I can't believe I never realized we were doing that when I was growing up.

[Austin]

Austin, as a teen I was really bad about steamrolling people with enthusiasm for things! I did eventually figure out a little more tact, but :oops: :D

Oh, I don't get bothered by teenagers. One of our boys gets very enthusiastic about things in general and tends to talk right over people, including us. We just wait until he's done :D