Catholic mom on ensuring that your child has no friends

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I didn't see this discussed on here but Libby Anne linked to it recently. This is a Catholic homeschooling mom who doesn't allow her kids to socialize with anyone who is not both Catholic and homeschooled (she doesn't mention anything about parochial schools, but I get the feeling that she disapproves). When one of her daughters got lonely mom wrote her a letter "from Jesus" about how God is supposed to be her only friend. :shock:

She's also got a good dose of crazy about how you shouldn't even have kids unless you're willing to spend every waking moment hovering over them, how her child's dreams and aspirations are displeasing to god, and how the other girls at Catholic youth group dress like little whores. I think my favorite part is how she begins a sentence with "Having companions can be fun, BUT..."

setonmagazine.com/homeschool/general-homeschooling/when-catholic-homeschooled-kids-get-lonely

And here's Libby Anne's commentary: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfem ... -fear.html

[BullyJBG]

Okay, putting that all together makes no sense. If kids are meant to live for God, isn't part of that sharing His love with others? And she rejects how that happens if they get together with homeschooling Protestants/Evangelicals? Shouldn't they BOTH share what's good about their churches and kids and youth programs and help each other? And in one inviting the other, shouldn't they want to join each other to expand their horizons? Like "here, come to my church, and I'll come to your church". I'm sure they don't FORCE them, or say "if you don't go, I won't be your friend anymore" or the like.

Dear lady, come back when your kids are older and asking questions. And I beg, PLEEEEEASE don't be like the Maxwells!

[KittenMitten]

Wasn't that awful? That mother sucked the joy out of her children's life. That 'Letter from Jesus' was rage inducing for me. I'm atheist, but brought up Christian. The Jesus I learned about would have been very angry. That was so hateful and in my opinion, evil. IIRC, other Christian parents gave her what for, thank goodness. Now, excuse me while I go for a long walk to calm down.

[Loveday]

Jesus had friends. A LOT of friends. Where on earth does this woman get the idea that He would be pleased she's blocked all friendships from her child? :angry-banghead:

[feministxtian]

When I lived in the Midwest, I had some Catholic friends who were also like that. They pulled their kids out of the parish school to be homeschooled. There were two families I was pretty close to, and out of their total of 7 children the results are as follows

Family 1

Oldest child came out as gay at about age 23

Second child married at 18, divorced at 22, atheist

Third child single and living in California last I heard (parents sent child to a Catholic university, she graduated and left town), cultural Catholic

Fourth child left home at 18, whereabouts unknown to me

Family 2

Oldest child swallowed the whole deal hook, line and sinker until college. Got a DUI at 21. Now married, returned to the fold and is busy pumping out kids. She's 27-28 and has 4 kids last I heard

Second child went to college, got a job in another city, doesn't do much w/parents or rest of family

Third child got an ROTC scholarship to college, is active duty Air Force and based on his facebook page, he's not much of a believer.

I don't believe the isolationist parenting philosophies are a good idea. They're based on fear. They instill a fear of the world on these children. When family 1's last child was born, the mother was terrified. She was convinced the world would end in the year 2000. She "couldn't believe that God would allow her to get pregnant so close to the end". :roll:

Needless to say these two families that I was so close to didn't even bother to see if the kids or I were OK after the x-husband tossed us out...I was wearing the scarlet D...

I can't stand these sorts of people.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

The whole concept of Catholic homeschooling seems off to me. I went to parochial schools and it seemed to me that the point of it wasn't to keep your kid away from evil public school influences-- it was about raising your child as part of the Catholic community. Or at least that's how my parents and others I grew up around thought about it. Catholicism is a very community-oriented religion. Even those silent monks are living in groups.

[socalrules]

I am surprised she if she even goes to a Catholic Church with all the love everyone homilies that are always given. It would be maddening for her to sit through a mass. My church even has a thriving LBGT community. As a Catholic, who went to Catholic school, I can say some of the best friends I ever had were met there. I loved it. She is probably mad no hate and damnation is taught there so she has to instill fear in her kids herself. I think it would bother her that just because you are on Catholic school, you don't discuss religion the majority of the time. Kids are free to just be kids. Like any other kids you learn about the world through your friends and I think that's what really scares her.

As someone posted, Jesus had lots of friends. I mean, he really did have the best of friends. Aren't we supposed to be like Jesus, including having friends?

[happy atheist]

The Jesus in this letter sounds like an abusive dickhole. He's like a petulant child who doesn't want to share his toys, mixed with an MRA.

Barf.

Dear Child,

How would you feel if your parents gave you a puppy as a gift, but instead of wanting you, the puppy ignored you altogether and ran to others to be loved instead? How would you feel if that puppy ignored you no matter how often you called its name because it preferred others to you? How would you feel if night and day you saw that puppy (which was given as a gift to you) giving all of its love, joy, energy, loyalty and affection to others while wanting as little as possible to do with you?

Maybe if you stop and think about this, this will give you an idea as to how I feel watching you give to others all that you were created to give to Me. You were created by my Father for Me. He brought you into this world for one reason, and one reason only: to be My friend.

And yet, Me you have ignored while longing for human friendships instead. You were brought into this world by My Father to love Me. And yet, you have given that love to your toys, your DVDs, your music, the pleasures of this world, and most of all to yourself. But to Me, you have given no love. You were brought into this world by My Father for Me, not for yourself or for man. Why, then, do you cry for man, long for man, and search for man night and day?

It is My Father’s will that your entire life should be centered on Me—not on yourself, other people, or the things of this world. I often hear you say, “Maybe I’ll be a rock star when I grow up.” Your calling in life first and foremost is to be My friend; this is what you’re supposed to be, not only when you “grow up,” but now, as a young girl. When you give yourself completely to Me in the friendship to which you have been called, and for which you were created in the first place, then I will show you what I want you to do for Me. Your life does not belong to you; it belongs to Me. Therefore, it is I who will decide what I want to do with it. This is how life in Me is supposed to work.

The gifts, talents, skills, and abilities which My Father has given to you were given to you for Me. My Father wants you to glorify and honor Me with those things. They weren’t given to you for yourself or for the world.

Your parents are very careful when deciding whom to allow into your life in the way of companions and friends, for they are well aware that they will answer to Me in eternity for the choices they have made. My Father, who created you for Me, has entrusted you to them in order to serve as guardians to your soul. Therefore, they must be very selective when deciding whom to allow near to your soul, for the wrong companions can do the soul irreparable, eternal harm. This means that you will not always have the friends that you may desire, for the times in which you now live are perilous indeed.

It is I who long for friendship—yours. Where is it? My Father placed you on the Earth to be My friend. This is the number one reason why you were given life. And yet, Me you have ignored while searching for others to fill your heart. How long will you give to others what should belong only to Me? I want you to focus on your friendship with Me. If you do, I promise to fill your life—even your very soul—more than a million earthly companions ever could.

I love you, and I’m waiting for you. You are mine before you will ever be anything else. You have asked, “What should I be when I grow up?” My answer to this is, “Mine.”

“I want you to be completely Mine.”

Jesus

[ILoveJellybeans]

Jesus sounded like a creepy stalker in that "letter". Also I am not a Christian, but I think that writing a letter impersonating a religious figure is disrespectful and kinda wrong.

Jesus had friends! He had a whole bunch of disciples. Christianity would never have existed if Jesus had sat in his house all day and never spoke to anyone who didn't already agree with him.

[SPHASH]

Jesus hung out with hookers, ate dinner at Zaccehus (sp) the tax collector's house, and touched lepers.

[HeadshipRegent]

Jesus sounds exactly like a fedora wearing Reddit MRA.

[HeadshipRegent]

It's like a "nice guy" who's angry for being friendzone, but in this case "un-friendzoned".

[busdrivingmom]

I am Catholic and we did consider homeschooling last year. The reason was the principal of my kids school was making changes we were very unhappy with and we did not want to have our daughter be a 7th grade transfer. We ended up keeping them at their school because the old principal got fired and a new, very practical one was hired. But, our kids would have still been able to see their friends. Plus, my kids have friends who are not Catholic and I could care less, they are good kids.

I love my kids and am glad we spend time together, but not 24/7. This woman is a wackadoodle.

[nelliebelle1197]

This is like the Catholic version of Steve Maxwell. I think this is child abuse.

[momof2treasures]

This version of "fundie" catholic is completely foreign to me. It sounds like an extreme shaming for the child to have a very human need for friendship. How sad

[Jana814]

This is like the Catholic version of Steve Maxwell. I think this is child abuse.

Agree!

[JesusPony]

If you replace "Me" with "Mommy and Daddy" in that Jesus letter it pretty well explains her position.

[Fascinated]

In my opinion, this woman is mentally ill and her children need intervention.

[Georgiana]

Jesus sounds exactly like a fedora wearing Reddit MRA.

Jesus went unto the mount of Doritos.

And early in the morning he came again into the temple of Sagan, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them for he was very smart and was filled with Class and not SWAG.

And the swag-men and Bros brought unto him a m'lady taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,

They say unto him, Yo Nerd, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.

Now Broses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

This they said, tempting him, that they might have to mock him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger tipped his fedora to m'lady, as though he heard them not.

And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and do not lie with swag-bros, but give of yourself only to Nice Guys for only they are deserving of you.

[latraviata]

The whole concept of Catholic homeschooling seems off to me. I went to parochial schools and it seemed to me that the point of it wasn't to keep your kid away from evil public school influences-- it was about raising your child as part of the Catholic community. Or at least that's how my parents and others I grew up around thought about it. Catholicism is a very community-oriented religion. Even those silent monks are living in groups.

My mother was a catholic and my father an atheist. We had a sort of catholic upbringing and that included catholic schools. At that time, catholic education was excellent, academically that is.

Catholic schools were very prestigious because in this predominantly (cultural) protestant country, catholics were considered to be stupid. So the catholics had to prove themselves, with succes!!

In my time the country was compartmentalised, protestant schools, shops, neighbourhoods, provinces in short everything, the same for the catholics, atheists, socialists and liberals. Everybody lived in their own comfort zone ad with their own cohort..

[ariel9]

Basically you want to ensure there's no way of them finding out you're a total nutjob.

[Toothfairy]

This sounds like something Steve would write. This mother is abusing her daughter. Poor kid. Mom has issues. I hope someone will stop in and help this poor child.

[Cleopatra7]

The whole concept of Catholic homeschooling seems off to me. I went to parochial schools and it seemed to me that the point of it wasn't to keep your kid away from evil public school influences-- it was about raising your child as part of the Catholic community. Or at least that's how my parents and others I grew up around thought about it. Catholicism is a very community-oriented religion. Even those silent monks are living in groups.

The original point of Catholic schools was to provide a low-cost alternative to public schools because Catholic children were being forced to read from the KJV bible and say the Protestant version of the Lord's Prayer, which were not so subtle attempts to convert them. This is why I don't understand conservative Catholics like Rick Santorum and Pat Buchanan who noisily support school prayer since the entire point of organized school prayers was to passively aggressive get Catholic kids to turn Protestant and be "real Americans." With the collapse of the women's teaching orders, it's not possible for every parish to have a school anymore and Catholic education is seen as more for college prep.

Anyway, I used to go to a Latin Mass parish and I knew radical home schoolers of the type mentioned in the article. They thought that everyone was a heretic, wouldn't enroll their kids in the religious education program because of said heretics, and didn't trust the parish bookstore because it had books by Benedict XVI whom they thought was a heretic (notice a pattern). These people didn't trust the local Catholic schools because they thought they were too lax and heretical and wouldn't put in their fair share for the Archdiocese's Annual Appeal because they thought the archbishop was a heretic. I predict that in a couple years the radtrad Catholic home schoolers will be home churching like the quiverfull Protestants, since they've already adopted courtship, no college, Theology of the Skirt, and militants fecundity.

[Rear Window]

My kids went to preschool with some kids that are now homeschooled instead of going to Catholic school. Of course they're the families with eleventy kids, always partaking in anything pro-life, and making sure the girls are in American Heritage Girls and the boys are out of Boy Scouts now that evil gayz can join. They really do isolate themselves.

[skrmom]

Perhaps the children can enter cloistered contents or monasteries one day