Ohio wants to ban abortions based on Down Syndrome

[FoxyMoxie]

And you know, I do worry about that. But I've overcome what life's thrown at me. I'm not ragingly obese or bitter or anything else. Depression is like a broken leg; it happens, you get treatment, and you move on. I know how to handle myself. That's the big issue here. A fellow disabled person would know how to handle themselves successfully too. An obese person still can't handle themselves, they've still got a raging mental disorder that needs treatment or else they would be healthy and not obese.

Ummm, no, for a lot of depressed people that's not how it works. I have chronic, recurrent depression. I manage it with treatment but it's not cured and may never be cured. Mental illnesses can be chronic too.

And I'm another obese person. It's not a character flaw at all, and ironically enough was caused by my antidepressants. Obesity is often caused by lifesaving medication. In any case it doesn't matter why a person is obese, treating them with dignity and respect is required because they're a person like anyone else.

[Palimpsest]

And you know, I do worry about that. But I've overcome what life's thrown at me. I'm not ragingly obese or bitter or anything else. Depression is like a broken leg; it happens, you get treatment, and you move on. I know how to handle myself. That's the big issue here. A fellow disabled person would know how to handle themselves successfully too. An obese person still can't handle themselves, they've still got a raging mental disorder that needs treatment or else they would be healthy and not obese.

Isn't that bloody marvelous.

I don't think ignorant, judgmental, fat-phobic, immature, conceited assholery is a disability covered by the ADA. Go away and get some education about the issues before you humiliate yourself here any further.

Signed,

Another person with recurrent depression, and an autoimmune disease, who struggles with her weight.

[2xx1xy1JD]

And you know, I do worry about that. But I've overcome what life's thrown at me. I'm not ragingly obese or bitter or anything else. Depression is like a broken leg; it happens, you get treatment, and you move on. I know how to handle myself. That's the big issue here. A fellow disabled person would know how to handle themselves successfully too. An obese person still can't handle themselves, they've still got a raging mental disorder that needs treatment or else they would be healthy and not obese.

Well, based on what you've written here, you may also be lacking insight. I'm saying this in all seriousness. If you have a history of molestation and depression, there is a LOT of baggage to unpack, and it can be tempting to claim that everything is "just fine" a bit prematurely, when you still have issues. Sometimes, depression is situational, but it's often NOT like a broken leg, but is more like diabetes - a chronic condition that can be managed if you are lucky enough to get the right medication, but which can flare up if things go out of whack.

Why the hate on people who are obese? Either you are oblivious to the fact that you are being massively offensive, or you actually want to piss everyone off. Either way, it suggests that you have not overcome whatever issues you have to the point of being fully functional in society. It seems too important to you that you insist that you are all better, while putting down another group of people. Does it make you feel better to point fingers at others and claim that you are doing so much better? FYI, it's not working. It's just making you look tremendously insecure, desperate for a scapegoat, ignorant (because you clearly do not understand the many potential causes of obesity), judgmental and lacking in any ability to use your own struggles to have empathy for others. In all honestly, if I saw someone I cared for dating someone with that sort of personality, I would tell them to run.

[Sarietty]

And you know, I do worry about that. But I've overcome what life's thrown at me. I'm not ragingly obese or bitter or anything else. Depression is like a broken leg; it happens, you get treatment, and you move on. I know how to handle myself. That's the big issue here. A fellow disabled person would know how to handle themselves successfully too. An obese person still can't handle themselves, they've still got a raging mental disorder that needs treatment or else they would be healthy and not obese.

To me, it sounds like you've worked really hard to improve your own situation, and to accept the cards you've been dealt in life. However, I also perceive fragility. You are worried that other people and their problems will undermine your own efforts, and make it harder for you to manage the life you have built. Would you say this is accurate?

If so, I think you might find that there is a next step, in terms of knowing "how to handle" oneself and depression. When you have a firm sense of self and strong boundaries, another person's success, failure, or struggle won't impact your own. It's an important skill to cultivate if you desire a supportive, well-balanced relationship. Even a partner who can check off all the "perfect qualities" you are looking for will still have their own set of issues, whether or not these are visible in their physical body or family structure.

It's something to think about. Unless you know someone intimately, you don't know their issues and struggles. You can't judge based on outward appearance. And, until you accept that, you're not "handling yourself" as much as clinging to a life preserver you've created, worried that somebody with bigger problems is going to come along and knock you off. It's not a situation that promotes inner peace and mental toughness.

[momof2treasures]

To me, it sounds like you've worked really hard to improve your own situation, and to accept the cards you've been dealt in life. However, I also perceive fragility. You are worried that other people and their problems will undermine your own efforts, and make it harder for you to manage the life you have built. Would you say this is accurate?

If so, I think you might find that there is a next step, in terms of knowing "how to handle" oneself and depression. When you have a firm sense of self and strong boundaries, another person's success, failure, or struggle won't impact your own. It's an important skill to cultivate if you desire a supportive, well-balanced relationship. Even a partner who can check off all the "perfect qualities" you are looking for will still have their own set of issues, whether or not these are visible in their physical body or family structure.

It's something to think about. Unless you know someone intimately, you don't know their issues and struggles. You can't judge based on outward appearance. And, until you accept that, you're not "handling yourself" as much as clinging to a life preserver you've created, worried that somebody with bigger problems is going to come along and knock you off. It's not a situation that promotes inner peace and mental toughness.

Sarietty will you be my therapist ?

[VelociRapture]

And you know, I do worry about that. But I've overcome what life's thrown at me. I'm not ragingly obese or bitter or anything else. Depression is like a broken leg; it happens, you get treatment, and you move on. I know how to handle myself. That's the big issue here. A fellow disabled person would know how to handle themselves successfully too. An obese person still can't handle themselves, they've still got a raging mental disorder that needs treatment or else they would be healthy and not obese.

I give you credit for overcoming a rough start in life. It sounds as if you were dealt a very tough hand and you have done your best to make the most of it - that is admirable.

It does not, however, make you an expert on the various topics you have brought up - such as depression, disabilities, or obesity. As someone who hopes to one day become a Nurse (and someone who is just incredibly interested in medicine and psychology), I can tell you that there is almost never one single reason why a person ends up where they are and there is no one size fits all approach to helping them. To think that someone struggling with depression needs to just get over it or that someone who is obese obviously is lazy is just wrong on so many levels.

I struggle with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. Some days are easier than others. What works for me is medication and seeing a therapist once in a while. Someone else may need to go weekly for talk therapy and others may need intensive in-patient treatment to deal with suicidal thoughts or actions. Same goes for obesity and disabilities.

You can only be brought down by other people if you allow yourself to be brought down. If you go into a relationship convinced that their family history of obesity or disabilities or depression is going to doom things between you. . . it probably will.

I wish you peace and good fortune as you move through life. I hope that you continue to heal. I hope you find someone to love one day.

[IronicallyMaeve]

Studies of adopted children and twins (some separated young) show that weight has a very strong genetic components. There isn't a "fat gene," exactly, but more like multiple genes that can effect weight.

[sockinshoe]

Studies of adopted children and twins (some separated young) show that weight has a very strong genetic components. There isn't a "fat gene," exactly, but more like multiple genes that can effect weight.

And there's inheritable conditions (such as my own PCOS) that can cause weight fluctuations or tendencies to gain weight easier. Yes, they can be managed, but sometimes it's very difficult.

[VelociRapture]

Depending on the severity of the disability, I would consider abortion. It would depend on their quality of life, how much care they would need as adults, and how accessible/available that care was.

My older brother was disabled. It was incredibly hard on my mom and it was hard on me. He was in a bed or a wheelchair his entire life. He couldn't communicate. He had multiple operations that marginally improved his well being. He died young of complications related to his disability. It was devastating.

I know not all disabilities are predictable. I would love my child, with or without a disability. I love my brother. I know it's possible that I could have a child who developed a disability later on. I just couldn't bring a baby into this world knowing that there would be a good chance that they would end up like my brother.

It's always good to be aware of what you can and can't handle. It's great that you seem to have really thought about this subject carefully. And I'm sorry for the loss of your brother - he must have been a very special person to have made such an impact on you.

[Lewy]

Back on topic for a moment: I have no problem with a woman or couple terminating for Down Syndrome. They are the ones who need to provide for and raise the child, not me, so my opinion on their decision on whether they feel they can handle that is irrelevant.

[polecat]

And there's inheritable conditions (such as my own PCOS) that can cause weight fluctuations or tendencies to gain weight easier. Yes, they can be managed, but sometimes it's very difficult.

I have one of those heritable diseases, or lipedema. For anyone who is interested, I wrote an AMA:

freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=26965

What bugs me is that for some of us, there really isn't much we can do about our bodies and we're judged for the way we look even though we have legitimate medical conditions responsible for fat deposits (like lipedema). And then THAT angers me because no one should have to explain WHY they're fat and why it's "okay" for them to be fat (or look fat) as opposed to other people, who are fat due to lifestyle choices (who also shouldn't have to explain their choices to others).

My body is not anyone else's business (and neither is any other seemingly fat person's). And tbh, there is NO such thing as a "wrong" body or a "right" body anyway.

On the topic of DS: I have a cousin with DS and two friends with children with DS. I feel really conflicted on the subject. On the one hand, I feel like people with DS offer valuable contributions to society and we're losing a lot when we terminate these pregnancies. But on the other hand, it is hard to raise a child with a disability, especially a disability that can range from mild to severe when it comes to how much it affects their function. I guess as with any other conversation about abortion, this needs to focus on services for women that actually allow them to make the best choices for them rather than limiting their choices. (Meaning, we need a better safety net for families with disabilities).