The Bible Said What? New Book

[Buzzard]

http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Said-What-T ... +said+what

 

I ordered this gem after a friend of mine got one. The Amazon summary reads:

 

 

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Don't let this book fall into the hands of children - unless you want them to learn to rape, pillage, treat women worse than dirt and make slaves of Mexicans and Canadians. The New Testament is just as awful as the Old Testament - as you will discover from these 10 things they don't teach in Catholic schools.

 

The prologue reads:

 

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This book explores some of the stories that were overlooked throughout my education and have ultimately let me to take the bible for what it is - the longest book most christians have never read, full of some nice teachings, but full of some extreme ones, too. Unfortunately, its many of the no-so-nice stories in the Bible that have been used by powerful playres throughout history to harm their fellow humankind.

 

Heres to hoping that more people will stop using the bible to justify discrimination, way, death, and the denial of basic rights to other human beings.

 

Its a short book, with pretty "deep" illustrations that go to the heart of the cherry picked passages. They focus on fun topics like rape, killing children for disobeying elders, misogyny, using wild animals to kill your enemies, various things that facebook wouldnt ban that would get you executed in biblical time... very cute. Its not a deep theological text but definitely makes its point.

 

The Maxwells would not approve. Sorry, stevie!

 

eta - you can borrow it for free on prime

[Rachel333]

Interesting, I might have to check it out.

The story of God sending bears to kill the boys who made fun of Elisha's baldness is incredibly messed up. What might be worse is that I heard it as a kid as a funny story about why you shouldn't mock people.

[anjulibai]

I mentioned the story about the man that sacrificed his daughter to God to a fundie once. She told me I sick in the head.

Yeah, I'm not the one that thinks that book is literally true, babe.

[Buzzard]

Do they ever discuss these stories at "bible time" or are they just skipped over? It always amazed me how the bible can be cherry picked for certain standards/beliefs and then ignored for others.

[anjulibai]

I wonder that, too, Buzzard. I can't imagine them reading some of these stories to their supposedly highly sheltered children. I certainly wouldn't read them to my kid, and I send him to daycare.

But then they talk about trying to read through the Bible all the way through, even at a young age. And we did see a scene on 19KAC where JimBob reads something about war and killing to all th kids, even the toddlers.

How do they justify this crap.

[browncoatslytherin]

ooo, this looks like a goodie :D thanks for sharing, buzzard! *adds to wish list*

[Rachel333]

Oh fundies tell even the nasty Bible stories to their children, and they really like the weird stuff like God reanimating corpses.

[whoviana]

I mentioned the story about the man that sacrificed his daughter to God to a fundie once. She told me I sick in the head.

Yeah, I'm not the one that thinks that book is literally true, babe.

The Bible is full of child sacrifices and has roots from ancient religions that practiced child sacrifices to deities like Moloch (see the golden bull in the bible).

Abraham was asked to sacrifice ("fistborn son") Isaac to God (who was like, LOL, jk, yolo when he proceeded to slain his son.)

God took every firstborn son from every house where the doors weren't annointed with "the blood of the lamb". They needed the blood of the lamb to save their first born males in order to not have them taken by "God".

The mass murders that followed jesus' birth were all child sacrifices.

Jesus himself was a child sacrifice, the "first born" son of god.

The bible is not only full of child sacrifices but mass murders, genocides, or the erasing of the entire human population.

I read it as a child at the very same tme when my faith was shaken. I read it word by word so that I knew what I was up against. The very ones that tried to brainwash and guilt me into being horrified of god and hell and satan, I gained more knowledge of the bible than they had knowledge of it, combined. I started poking holes in their stories, correcting them and calling them out when I caught them erring or exaggerating or adding twists to bible stories. Need I say how popular I was in the family? 8-) :dance:

[whoviana]

Oh fundies tell even the nasty Bible stories to their children, and they really like the weird stuff like God reanimating corpses.

Hehe, that's so true.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Serious question here - how common is it among various denominations to simply skip over and not read parts of the Bible?

I know my kids' elementary school would skip over a few parts, like Genesis 34, in the very early grades, but that was just to be age-appropriate. I remember our synagogue did a whole adult ed mock trial based on Genesis 34, where Simon and Levi are facing charges and the lawyers brought up all the traditional and modern arguments about that chapter. There's also a popular book based on that chapter (The Red Tent).

I don't see the point of sanitizing the Bible (except with very young children). It's got parts that are explicit and raw and violent and messy. Deal with it. Don't put a false layer of sweetness on top. FWIW, it's an important text for about a billion people and it's important historically.

[formergothardite]

Do they ever discuss these stories at "bible time" or are they just skipped over? It always amazed me how the bible can be cherry picked for certain standards/beliefs and then ignored for others.

Oh yes, we learned about children being mauled to death for making fun of Elisha. The lesson was the God cared about what children did and could punish you harshly for making fun of the men God chose to teach and preach.

Things like rape were glossed over for children, but things murder and children being kidnapped and enslaved were not.

I remember being told that the donkey talking to Balaam was proof that animals used to talk, they just lost their ability over time. I believed that for years.

[whoviana]

I think that the Bible is a horrible read, and just as age appropriate as any fiction with mass murders, rape, slavery, child sacrifices, severe physical punishments, violence, oppression, genocides in them. It should not be anything more than a horrid fiction on the shelves of the bookstore, next to the game of thrones, for those who can stomach it. It shouldn't be anything that the faith of 2 billion people could be built upon. It shouldn't perceived as something that offers guidance in life.

[Buzzard]

Oh yes, we learned about children being mauled to death for making fun of Elisha. The lesson was the God cared about what children did and could punish you harshly for making fun of the men God chose to teach and preach.

Things like rape were glossed over for children, but things murder and children being kidnapped and enslaved were not.

I remember being told that the donkey talking to Balaam was proof that animals used to talk, they just lost their ability over time. I believed that for years.

Yet the Duggars won't let their kids watch movies with talking animals because Jesus...

Growing up I had the books that illustrated bible stories with hugs and rainbows. I remember being a bit older and being taught about Dinah. They left out the rape part but left the killing of all the men. The moral of the story was that all actions have consequences and you can't just buy your way out of bad choices. I was thoroughly confused because I missed the underlying sin and thought, until I was in college and got around to reading the actual story, that the sin was the killings. I think that was when I truly started saying "what the fuck is this shit" to the hugs and rainbows.

My family wasn't religious, so there was no bible time to read the other stories but I very clearly remember asking why God was so mean in Sunday school. I was sent to the principals office.

[nataraja]

Jesus himself was a child sacrifice, the "first born" son of god.

Thank you for pointing that out. I have been pretty repelled for a while by the whole "Jesus is the lamb that died for our sins.", "When we envisions to wash ourselves in his blood we will be protected." Etc.

It reminds me of the human sacrafices satanist are said to make according to some people that spread these rumours (which I assume to be true) in the internet . The rumour goes that satanists sacrifice other human beings, sometimes even drink the blood of the killed humans in order to gain streangth, youth or to increase the output of magic spells.

I can imagine that sacraficing "the son of god" would have been the ultimate goal for these kind of insane and sick people.

And why are we told that Jesus had to die for our sins in order to free us from it? Jesus was freeing people from all of their sins even before he was killed and resurected. Remember the story with the man that couldn't walk and was brought down through the roof by his friends before Jesus feet.

Jesus walked on earth for us and he was resurected for us after evil people nailed him on a cross but I don't believe that he died for us.

[Johanna25]

That's one reason Catholics were never encouraged to read the bible. As our pastor used to say, "All I need is the Baltimore Catechism." Mere laypeople were not up to the task of interpreting God's word. All we got were the prescribed Sunday Gospel readings in the Mass that were duly explained and enlarged on in the sermon.

[nelliebelle1197]

Oh yes, we learned about children being mauled to death for making fun of Elisha. The lesson was the God cared about what children did and could punish you harshly for making fun of the men God chose to teach and preach.

Things like rape were glossed over for children, but things murder and children being kidnapped and enslaved were not.

I remember being told that the donkey talking to Balaam was proof that animals used to talk, they just lost their ability over time. I believed that for years.

You know, I think I remember that too. From school no less.

[Buzzard]

Thank you for pointing that out. I have been pretty repelled for a while by the whole "Jesus is the lamb that died for our sins.", "When we envisions to wash ourselves in his blood we will be protected." Etc.

It reminds me of the human sacrafices satanist are said to make according to some people that spread these rumours (which I assume to be true) in the internet . The rumour goes that satanists sacrifice other human beings, sometimes even drink the blood of the killed humans in order to gain streangth, youth or to increase the output of magic spells.

I can imagine that sacraficing "the son of god" would have been the ultimate goal for these kind of insane and sick people.

And why are we told that Jesus had to die for our sins in order to free us from it? Jesus was freeing people from all of their sins even before he was killed and resurected. Remember the story with the man that couldn't walk and was brought down through the roof by his friends before Jesus feet.

Jesus walked on earth for us and he was resurected for us after evil people nailed him on a cross but I don't believe that he died for us.

I never could understand the "sacrifice." God "cleansed" the earth with flood. Hell, he CREATED the earth (so it says). SO, why do you have to let your "beloved" self/child suffer and die so that humans that are unworthy pets can be saved? Couldnt almighty god just go "zap" you're all doing it wrong?!?! And if he thought we were doing it wrong, and didnt like how we were doing it, JUST TELL US!

[formergothardite]

You know, I think I remember that too. From school no less.

I was always told that the reason Eve wasn't surprised when a snake talked to her was because all the animals talked. Animals slowly lost the ability to talk after the Garden of Eden. I kept hoping on of my pets would "remember" how to talk. :lol:

I was also told that before the flood society was more advanced then it is now because people lived for hundreds and hundreds of years.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Does that book include Ezekiel, Chapter 23? Take a moment to go and read it.

Now, it's all a big metaphor, but the language still says something. Of all things, Israel's relations with surrounding nations are compared to FEMALE lust, in some pretty graphic language. It's all lust and breast squeezing and soldiers hung like horses. It's about as far as you can get from the "women don't really have much sex drive" drivel that folks like Lorken like to preach.

[formergothardite]

I must have read Ezekiel 23 at some point because I read the Bible all the way through several times, but I don't remember it standing out. I also don't remember any pastors preaching sermons about that chapter either. :lol: Using "whoredom"(the KJV) that many times in one service would have certainly made people sit up and pay attention.

[bunnybunz]

I hear Awkward Moment's Children's Bible is another good one. I just ordered it, so I hope it is. :fsm: