Jump to content

Catholic Deacon Pens Inspiring Letter On Parenting Transgend


Recommended Posts

iti s about time. but he is only a deacon so no one will listen.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/0 ... 18970.html

For parents struggling with how to react when their child comes out as transgender, Catholic Deacon Ray Dever has three words of advice: Love your children.

In a touching blog published on the LGBT Catholic site, New Ways Ministry, Dever described his own experience having a child reveal her transgender identity while studying at Georgetown University. This happened shortly after Pope Francis made the groundbreaking remark "Who am I to judge?" in regards to the LGBT community and plunged his family "into all the questions and issues that Catholic families with LGBTQ children face."

Suddenly the enduring notion of "the Catholic family" -- discussed at length at the Vatican's October Synod on the Family -- took on a new meaning for the deacon. But for Dever, there was never a question of whether he would continue loving and cherishing his daughter, even as the path forward offered plenty of challenges.

When our daughter came out, my wife and I experienced the full range of thoughts and emotions that any parents do in that situation – shock at the news, a lack of understanding of gender issues, conflict with what the Church teaches about human sexuality, confusion and guilt about what we should do as parents, profound sadness at what felt like the loss of our son, fear and worry for what the future would hold for her. There were arguments, sleepless nights, and prayers – lots of prayers.

Ultimately, Dever and his wife were comforted to witness their child's blossoming as she returned from a deep depression she had suffered with throughout high school.

"All the creativity, humor, empathy, and intelligence that make her an exceptional person are still there and are shining through stronger than ever," Dever wrote. "And I’d like to think that the acceptance of her immediate and extended Catholic family have played some part in that positive transformation."

In the midst of a church culture often antagonistic toward the LGBT community, New Ways Executive Director Francis DeBernardo applauded Dever for his unwavering love, which DeBernardo said echoes that of God "as a loving parent."

"His testimony goes a long way to show that new perspectives are needed in the discussion of family and sexuality which was opened up at the Vatican synod in 2014," DeBernardo said in an email to HuffPost.

"How can the Catholic Church discern how the Spirit is moving if it doesn't hear firsthand from the people that are directly affected by institutional policies and practices? Deacon Dever's essay shows that there is important evidence and valuable perspectives that the Church has not even examined."

Dever acknowledged that he is "the exception," as many religious parents have rejected their LGBT children -- sometimes with tragic consequences. As far as the Catholic faith is concerned, though, Dever wrote that if one thing is "crystal clear...it is that everyone is included in His love and mercy and forgiveness, and that we are all called to do the same."

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Trending Content

  • Recent Status Updates

    • dairyfreelife


      My sweet pup was diagnosed with a brain tumor in September. She passed away in my arms on Thanksgiving morning. It all happened so fast. She didn't want to eat anything the day before, but prior to that was ok. Knew it was near time and had booked an appointment to take her next week. However, she decided for me. She was only 8 and really was one of the best dogs. She never met a stranger, human or dog. Life isn't the same without her. 
      · 4 replies
    • Scrabblemaster


      I made my first Granny Square! After nearly 30 years of knitting and crocheting this was a project I never did. Until now! I needed something to do with my rest of very colourful yarn and now I am very happy. I need to try different needles with my yarns but I think I found something nice for the future.
      I needed only 3 different youtube videos until I found a person who explained the concept slowly and repetitive and with words I can understand. I hate when these tutorials make me feel dumb.
      · 0 replies
    • 47of74


      Yeah, Earth sure the fornicate has issues....

      · 1 reply
    • Zebedee


      Someone please remind me to buy peanut butter. Seriously, I have been meaning to get some for at least three weeks, and everytime I remember, the shops are already closed! 
      · 3 replies
    • 47of74


      How many of us had this situation this morning?  

      · 0 replies
    • Jinder Roles

      Jinder Roles

      You know what I hate most about subtle racism? The gaslighting. Stop cosplaying as a nice person and say it with your chest. 
      · 0 replies
    • Kiki03910


      Sending hugs, best wishes, and laughs to everyone here for making this such a good space.
      /enthusiastic burp
      · 0 replies
    • SillyDillys


      Husband going on a week long business trip next month..... Rufus bless me and my mother
      · 2 replies
    • PennySycamore


      We had to put our 14 year old dachshund, Trinket, down today.  She was fine Thursday, but by mid-morning yesterday, it was apparent that something was really wrong,  She had zero energy, lost her appetite and began walking into corners.  By morning I knew it was time for her to have her final visit to the vet.  She had lost about a pound and a half recently.  RIP, Trinket!
      · 5 replies
    • Jinder Roles

      Jinder Roles

      Horrific! A 6 year old boy was murdered, and mother severly injured, in a hate crime in Chicago. Reports say they are both Palestinian Muslims and were specifically targeted because of that. Thankfully the man who did it is in custody 
      This is pure evil
      · 1 reply
  • Recent Blog Entries

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.