The one where Cabinetboy closes up shop

[littlemommy]

My writing gets strong male results (and I am most definitely female), so I always take these with a grain of salt.

Genre: Informal

Female = 160

Male = 592

Difference = 432; 78.72%

Verdict: MALE

Maybe you are a "Command Woman". ;)

[polecat]

Maybe you are a "Command Woman". ;)

Ha! Maybe!

Did anyone plug in LRC's writing, too?

[lawfulevil]

I did, it was 60-70% for samples tested.

I don't think it means anything about gender (maybe in aggregate) at all, but you are supposed to get fairly consistent results by writer... so I'll check Hiswife's Lori post later, I guess.

[Firiel]

This is Cabinetwife's post on Lori's blog:

Genre: Informal

Female = 3372

Male = 2991

Difference = -381; 47%

Verdict: Weak FEMALE

Weak emphasis could indicate European.

She came out as weak male for the formal genre.

[lawfulevil]

Thanks Firiel.

Well, again, there's no way to be certain, but the thing does appear to be pretty consistent for different samples by the same author- or at least, it is for me, and it is for LRC. Weak female (47%) to solidly male (68%) is a pretty big difference, but 68% is consistent with LRC's typical numbers.

[polecat]

Thanks Firiel.

Well, again, there's no way to be certain, but the thing does appear to be pretty consistent for different samples by the same author- or at least, it is for me, and it is for LRC. Weak female (47%) to solidly male (68%) is a pretty big difference, but 68% is consistent with LRC's typical numbers.

It isn't for the samples of my work, BUT I write professionally and use different voices for different types of work. I suspect that skews it at least some.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Thought I posted this, but maybe not.

Here is my offering for "tunes"

The Ballad of Cabinetman (To the Tune of The Ballad of Jed Clampett, AKA the theme to the Beverly Hil Billies) Please delete if a repeat.

Come and listen to a story 'bout a “manly†friend of Ken

Armed mountaineer said his wife was filled with sin

Til one day when he bragged he broke her will,

And came to Freejinger, just to get a little thrill

(Leave me alone, don’t call CPS, that’s my plea)

Well the first thing you know his blog’s a happenin place

Bitchin’ bout those women folk who’d look him in the face

He dared them to find him, and when they easily did

He loaded up the truck and he quickly ran and hid

(Alaska that is, wife’s alone, here’s my new address)

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Him and all his kin

They’re pretty mad that we folks was always dropping in

Although his blog was public as was his locality

He seems to have a poor grasp of the web’s reality

(Command men, that's what they call themselves,

Drama Queens seems a better fit- don’t come back now, ya hear?)

*bowing smiley*

O salex, your songsmithing powers are indeed majestic, and we just want to recognize that your skill comes from you and you alone, and we just humbly ask for your blessing upon our efforts in adapting 'What do the simple folk do?' for fundy sahd-hood.

What to the fundy girls do

To help them escape from their blues?

The buddies chase the howlers

Who run around at home

Because their bio mother

Her own kids don't know?

[lawfulevil]

If anyone's curious, I just pulled the sales records for the relevant county- Cabinetdouche's home and business properties are not currently on the market according to the MLS, and the county doesn't show any sales records for his properties. The county's records are current as of 8/26. I assume we'll soon see his all-new, even crappier DIY business website, with an all-new even more obnoxious DBA.

He appears to be posting to a few shitty blogs* under a sock he's used for a few years. The cadence, wording, bizarre cultural references**, and some other metrics match.

This is an Official Flounce. I repeat, an Official Whiny Manbaby Flounce.

Tell your "lawyer" I said hi, Credenza Crank.

*Dalrock and company.

**The references would be normal? Ish? Kind of? For someone two generations older but make no sense at all for someone still in his 30s. But they're consistent to crap he posted on his blog, so...

[jerkit]

If anyone's curious, I just pulled the sales records for the relevant county- Cabinetdouche's home and business properties are not currently on the market according to the MLS, and the county doesn't show any sales records for his properties. The county's records are current as of 8/26. I assume we'll soon see his all-new, even crappier DIY business website, with an all-new even more obnoxious DBA.

He appears to be posting to a few shitty blogs* under a sock he's used for a few years. The cadence, wording, bizarre cultural references**, and some other metrics match.

This is an Official Flounce. I repeat, an Official Whiny Manbaby Flounce.

Tell your "lawyer" I said hi, Credenza Crank.

*Dalrock and company.

**The references would be normal? Ish? Kind of? For someone two generations older but make no sense at all for someone still in his 30s. But they're consistent to crap he posted on his blog, so...

Is "minister" a CM sock?

Also, I got a super shady email from his wife several weeks ago that pretty much convinced me they are lying liars who sit on thrones of lies.

[lawfulevil]

Is "minister" a CM sock?

Maybe. I'm still not positive yet. I've been collecting data on possible CM socks- a pattern from the past is that he NEVER SHUTS UP VERY LONG. This wasn't his first delete everything rage-flounce, he had one on Peacefulwife earlier this summer.

That said, one definitely leads the list but there's no guarantee he's not 2 or more of them.

[JellyHope]

Is "minister" a CM sock?

Also, I got a super shady email from his wife several weeks ago that pretty much convinced me they are lying liars who sit on thrones of lies.

Please share!

[jerkit]

Please share!

The jist was she was sending it to the "faithful readers" by sending it to CM and BCCing all of the readers. The name associated with CM on the email was fake. She said that they were putting the house on the market but that CM was staying behind for his customers but that he hoped to make a living gold panning in Alaska. She asked for prayer for the people trying to track them down that they would stop.

I am 99% sure she/he was trying to bait me.

[ViolaSebastian]

he hoped to make a living gold panning in Alaska

Panning for gold? Panning for gold?? Does ANYONE make a living PANNING for gold anymore? What is this, 1852? What an terrible lie...she should have gone with the timber industry or mining or something.

[GeoBQn]

Bart: Gold panning? That ain't been popular since aught-six, dagnabbit!

Homer: Bart, what have I told you?

Bart: No more talking like a grizzled 1890's prospector. Ton sarnit.

[EmiGirl]

Panning for gold? Panning for gold?? Does ANYONE make a living PANNING for gold anymore? What is this, 1852? What an terrible lie...she should have gone with the timber industry or mining or something.

The idea of him panning for gold almost made me laugh out loud. I don't think it's possible to make a living that way anymore. Besides that would probably include not having access to the Internet and we know CM can't living without his mra blogs.

[ViolaSebastian]

Geee-old!

Hot off the press, the latest pic of L. Ron Cupboard! Since we're taking up old-timey professions, I think I'll move to Wisconsin and become a dairy maid...

[HoneyBunny]

Gosh, the man in that photo doesn't look like he has the same "former football player gone to flab" physique I imagine DD does (based on his many "I am big as a bear" comments). Panning for gold in Alaska and the inevitable starvation that results look good on DD!

[thoughtful]

[lawfulevil]

As I said to Jerkit...

I TOO plan to move to Alaska suddenly! We're going to raise sled dogs. No, I don't know anything about primitive breeds or animal training... but I own a Jack Russell! That's enough information, right???

[littlemommy]

Here I am, up at 2am, very ill. By chance I check FJ to see if there's any interesting nuggets to help me pass the time till morning. And lo--word of the Cabibetman. The THE himself!!!!

Panning for gold? That douche. I say that and laugh almost affectionately.

[lawfulevil]

Here I am, up at 2am, very ill. By chance I check FJ to see if there's any interesting nuggets to help me pass the time till morning. And lo--word of the Cabibetman. The THE himself!!!!

GOMI's got some halfway amusing coverage of the ongoing adventures of another of our old friends, too- That Wife's still pioneering parental neglect, now with all-new selfies!

[formergothardite]

As I said to Jerkit...

I TOO plan to move to Alaska suddenly! We're going to raise sled dogs. No, I don't know anything about primitive breeds or animal training... but I own a Jack Russell! That's enough information, right???

I have Jack Russells too! Sure I live in a warm climate where everything shuts down for an inch of snow so Alaska might be a shock to my system but can I come join you?! I'm sure this will be a piece of cake.

Panning gold?! :lol:

[jerkit]

I am 98% sure this was sent to me and only me under the guise of "BBCing other faithful readers" in the hopes I'd copy/paste the details here. Very specific cities and times were given.

[Four is Enough]

I am so new to this party, and somehow have read a lot about CM and all his aliases, (you guys are BRILLIANT!) but have never learned the man's real name and can so not look him up! Hook a girl up, please?

[Curious]

I am 98% sure this was sent to me and only me under the guise of "BBCing other faithful readers" in the hopes I'd copy/paste the details here. Very specific cities and times were given.

For people so caught up with rules, laws etc, it's almost like they have never even bothered to read ours :shifty: