Family time at the Maxwells on Memorial Day

[nelliebelle1197]

I generally don't judge how any particular person or family or culture mourns. It's not my place. Heck, I once went to a funeral decorated with bright blue and green balloons (teenage girl, who loved those colors and balloons) - different, but it gave the family comfort.

And if this were any other family, the total silence on the subject of the recent death of parents wouldn't really get any comment from me.

But this is the Maxwells. The family that talks about deaths at weddings. That the men frequently wear t-shirts that say "Where will you go when you die?" or "I know where I'm going when I die, do you?" The family that has memorialized neighbors and people at the nursing center they see maybe once a week.

For this family not to mention the deaths of their relatives genuinely and truly shocks me, and makes me think not all is right there.

This one really confuses me. I thought that maybe Steve's family deaths were not mentioned because of estrangement and the weirdness with his bio vs step fathers. But Teri's dad was part of the "ministry". I wonder if those Memorial Day photos are from the weekend before. Nathan and Steve look so genuinely pleased and happy.... Teri looks sweet with the baby. I cannot those expressions the day after this death. I think this is a staged shoot from before the death and funeral and it was set to post. Hopefully, there will be a post on loss soon or I think we need to send the FBI in to rescue John at least.

[nausicaa]

It's just makes me think there is even more wrong there than we realize.....which is rather scary.

Yes, my thoughts exactly. There is something so, so weird about this. And this is with my "Maxwell crazy" filter on.

[ILoveJellybeans]

So two of the Maxwell grandparents died recently, and no mention of any of them and they all still have plastered on grins....weird.

[SPHASH]

Since Grandad was part of the ministry you would think they'd have a memorial post for him. They posted when he had a car accident and surgery. Plus they have had several posts regarding Susannah's passing and memory. I wonder if they will start removing any references to Grandad on the blog like they did with Joseph's engagement.

[Jana814]

So two of the Maxwell grandparents died recently, and no mention of any of them and they all still have plastered on grins....weird.

Agree very weird!

[Trynn]

My family doesn't do wakes. Sometimes we have viewings, but theydo not last for 6 hours. Particularly if like, the widow is old and doesn't want to stand or sit in a line for that long.

[Black Aliss]

I cannot get over the difference between Teri's and Tami's facial expressions. In all the photos on her FB page Tami has what Poor Sarah might call a "joyful countenance"; Teri looks at the camera with a painful expression and a forced smile.

[nomoxian]

They love death so much they probably feel happy about it.

But there is so much to be happy for! :roll: "He is not suffering anymore" and "He is in the hands of Our Father" are probably thoughts that are going through their minds.

Though it is weird that they didn't mention his death, when they do mention the deaths of people they preach to in the nursing home, and when they talk about death at weddings and practically any other opportunity they can come up with. :cray-cray:

[Odd1Out]

I'm still trying to rationalize going to the wake for the last two hours.

I haven't read the obit yet, but I'm assuming the visitation is not a wake but just time people can go view the body at the funeral home and the family will be there to visit with everyone just for those two hours.

I haven't been to a 'wake'. Is that usually for Catholics? Maybe other denominations as well?

[Odd1Out]

I don't find it that strange that they are smiling in the pics of this post, but that they don't mention Terri's dad. It is about Memorial Day after all. I know Memorial Day is truly about those who died during service, but it's become a day to remember all family/friends who have died. And Grandpa had been in the military, correct?

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I'm just repeating what everyone else wrote, but truly it is weird. That Steve passed up the perfect opportunity to write a Very Special Blog Post about DEATH seems strange, but then to post Happy Families instead is doubly weird and a bit disrespectful. I wonder how Teri feels about this? To lose her father but then have Steve posting blog entries that show a smiling family? Would that not seem crazy wrong?

And again I have to ask the question, what kind of example is Steve setting for his own kids?

About the viewing. I feel strongly that there should be at least one family member there at all times. With 8 kids you would think Steve could spare a son or daughter to stand-in for the family, but my guess is that he doesn't want any of his (GROWN) children to be left on their own to talk to outsiders-- even if the said outsiders are Granddad's friends.

[nelliebelle1197]

But there is so much to be happy for! :roll: "He is not suffering anymore" and "He is in the hands of Our Father" are probably thoughts that are going through their minds.

Though it is weird that they didn't mention his death, when they do mention the deaths of people they preach to at in the nursing home, and when they talk about death at weddings and practically any other opportunity they can come up with. :cray-cray:

Fixed that for ya.

[nelliebelle1197]

I haven't read the obit yet, but I'm assuming the visitation is not a wake but just time people can go view the body at the funeral home and the family will be there to visit with everyone just for those two hours.

I haven't been to a 'wake'. Is that usually for Catholics? Maybe other denominations as well?

This is a viewing, and it is not a "wake". We would have never used that term in my Southern Presbyterian, Church of Christ, SBC and IFB experience. We were always taught that was a Yankee Catholic thing. :P Who knows what the reason is - maybe those are the hours the funeral home has open for viewing and since Grandpa is old and has probably lost many of his friends, they only plan to be onsite briefly, but want acquaintances to be able to pay respect.. Maybe this is what Grandma wanted. Second guessing this piece of the puzzle is a little silly because there simply is no right or wrong answer- different people choose to bury and mourn their dead in different ways.

The bizarre part is the whole radio silence on losing most of the spawners of Maxwells within a few months. Steve is missing a lot of opportunity for "ministry", marketing and sympathy with this, especially considering how illnesses and such have been front and center in the past. Something is way off.

[emesbe]

Somebody post condolences on a blog post. :) I am another who is mystified as to the silence on Grandad.

[nelliebelle1197]

Somebody post condolences on a blog post. :) I am another who is mystified as to the silence on Grandad.

There are also condolences on the funeral home website.

[Justme]

The whole point of going to a wake/viewing/whatever you call it, is to offer your condolences to the family. It's rather pointless to go if the family is MIA.

Steve has often mentioned his FIL in the blog. They have also mentioned his frail health. By not mentioning his death, they are going to have "fans" ask Teri how her Father is doing when they see her at a conference or event. When Teri tells them he passed, the "fan" could feel foolish for asking thinking to themselves that they must have "missed" it on the blog.

The same with Steve's Mom. They have spoken about her and her illness.

I wonder what Jan will do now. Will Steve "allow" her to live alone with no headship. How long until we see the next Maxwell spawn has bought their house..... (Maybe Jan will high tail it out and live with Tami. ;) )

[Jana814]

I also wonder what is going to happen to Teri's mother.

[MamaJunebug]

If somebody's already posted this, I apologize, but I'm strapped for time:

The family showing up late in the visitation is a Kansas City-area thing. A friend there was aghast not only at the southern Illinois/eastern Missouri tradition of having sometimes two days of visitations, but also at having the family there for the entire visitation. (It's understood that you might not see somebody because they've gone out to grab dinner and relax away from the scenes of wistfulness if not outright sadness. But yes, we get there before the doors open to the friends and we stay. Rack it up to our large German / Italian / French heritages.)

So it isn't really a Maxwell/Frazer thing.

Love that his services were at a chapel on-post at Fort Leavenworth. Rest in peace, sir. Jan ... please, go visit Tami. Please...

[SPHASH]

If somebody's already posted this, I apologize, but I'm strapped for time:

The family showing up late in the visitation is a Kansas City-area thing. A friend there was aghast not only at the southern Illinois/eastern Missouri tradition of having sometimes two days of visitations, but also at having the family there for the entire visitation. (It's understood that you might not see somebody because they've gone out to grab dinner and relax away from the scenes of wistfulness if not outright sadness. But yes, we get there before the doors open to the friends and we stay. Rack it up to our large German / Italian / French heritages.)

So it isn't really a Maxwell/Frazer thing.

Love that his services were at a chapel on-post at Fort Leavenworth. Rest in peace, sir. Jan ... please, go visit Tami. Please...

I'm thrilled Stevie didn't preach the service. Or did he get in a few words?

[theologygeek]

If somebody's already posted this, I apologize, but I'm strapped for time:

The family showing up late in the visitation is a Kansas City-area thing. A friend there was aghast not only at the southern Illinois/eastern Missouri tradition of having sometimes two days of visitations, but also at having the family there for the entire visitation. (It's understood that you might not see somebody because they've gone out to grab dinner and relax away from the scenes of wistfulness if not outright sadness. But yes, we get there before the doors open to the friends and we stay. Rack it up to our large German / Italian / French heritages.)

So it isn't really a Maxwell/Frazer thing.

Love that his services were at a chapel on-post at Fort Leavenworth. Rest in peace, sir. Jan ... please, go visit Tami. Please...

Wow, that's so strange to me. Family is expected to get there before the doors open over here too. The funeral cars pick family members up at their homes.

[rural juror]

I predict the LORD will tell Grandma to move in with either Aunt Tami (hopefully) or the Maxwells (more likely) and sell her house to her grandson John at a reduced price.

[SPHASH]

I predict the LORD will tell Grandma to move in with either Aunt Tami (hopefully) or the Maxwells (more likely) and sell her house to her grandson John at a reduced price.

Please God make Grandma move in with Tami! Which Maxwell would Grandma move in with? I don't think Steve has any room with 5 over 18 adults and one almost 18 living there. Nathan's family is expanding and I'm sure the boy will get his own room. Probably Chris.

[theologygeek]

I wonder if those Memorial Day photos are from the weekend before.

The kid's craft picture says "Memorial Day 2014" on top of it. I don't think they would celebrate Memorial Day a week early, but who knows with those people. They're an odd bunch.

[nelliebelle1197]

The kid's craft picture says "Memorial Day 2014" on top of it. I don't think they would celebrate Memorial Day a week early, but who knows with those people. They're an odd bunch.

I know, but I can see them scheduling it just like everything else in their lives

[anjulibai]

Please God make Grandma move in with Tami! Which Maxwell would Grandma move in with? I don't think Steve has any room with 5 over 18 adults and one almost 18 living there. Nathan's family is expanding and I'm sure the boy will get his own room. Probably Chris.

I think they could fit her. They have four bedrooms and only use three of them. They also have four bathrooms, so Grandma could have her own.

Chris's family is expanding, too, so I don't think they'd be able to take her.

At least at Steve's there would always be someone there to take care of her.