Fundie mom comments on Big Sandy Conference

[elanej]

I am new here to posting, but I saw this family mentioned on a Duggar page on Facebook and I read most of the information on their website. I have no idea how to break links but if you type in "5 kids 6 months" on google it will take you right to their page. I am not usually bothered by age differences. My mother is 10 years younger than my father, but he just seems ooky to me. Anyway she is so young, but they have adopted a ton of kids which I thought was strange because that was a no no in ATI land. They also are friends with the Duggars apparently. There is plenty of the fundie/Christianese type language on their page. If they have been talked about before, I am sorry. I was just curious if anyone had heard of them.

[terranova]

5kids6months.blogspot.com

facebook.com/5Kids6Months

At first glance, I'd say she looks younger and he looks older than they actually are. Maybe 40 and 30? They've been married since 2004, so she can't be much younger than 28. ETA: They are 11 years apart.

Three of their kids (the elder three) are siblings whom they adopted in June 2011. They then adopted 2 more children later that same year, and another sometime since then. The sibling set had been re-homed several times in 2011 already.

This post on their FB annoyed me:

ADOPTION HELP: There is a sibling set, in the north FL area, a 7 and 8 year old Caucasian boy and girl, in need of an adoptive home. They were previously adopted out and are good students. They do not have any educational or special needs. This would be a private adoption. If homestudy ready and interested please message me for attorney contact information and a photo. Please share!

These are children, not boarders they're talking about. Apparently being a good student is something child collectors look for?

[gustava]

5kids6months.blogspot.com

facebook.com/5Kids6Months

At first glance, I'd say she looks younger and he looks older than they actually are. Maybe 40 and 30? They've been married since 2004, so she can't be much younger than 28

Three of their kids (the elder three) are siblings whom they adopted in June 2011. They then adopted 2 more children later that same year, and another sometime since then. The sibling set had been re-homed several times in 2011 already.

This post on their FB annoyed me:

These are children, not boarders they're talking about. Apparently being a good student is something child collectors look for?

Perhaps it is to counterbalance the possibly negative information of "previously adopted out." Why does she say it's a private adoption?

[terranova]

To me, it sounds like she's seen the damage re-adoption can cause (probably from her own children), but wants to help kids find their permanent homes.

[patsymae]

Children with no educational needs?

Guess that about sums up ATI parenting.

I think they specified a private adoption to let people know that they don't have to meet state standards--just find a crackpot Christian social worker to sign off on the home study and a crackpot Christian judge to sign off on the adoption.

[Earthshine]

I think she was 17 when they got married and he is ten years older. They sold their house and bought a small, old trailer they fixed up so they could live debt free and save up money to build or buy a home debt free. Maybe they should get the Maxwell's book for tips! They recently adopted the middle boy from another family who adopted him from China. The dad works for Chik-fil-a.

[artdecades]

from her blog

Anthony joined our family, with his 2 sisters, when he was 9 years old in June 2011 after being removed and in 3 different foster homes for 7 months. He went by Uribe (yer-ee-bay) until we adopted him in May 2012 and changed his name to Anthony (means priceless, praiseworthy).

this makes me so furious. how dare you change the name of a 10 year old, like hes a toy and not a human being with feelings who is attached to his name. That is something that I wouldn't do to an animal, let alone a child. an older child being adopted is going to have trouble adjusting to begin with, and then you decide your new accessory's name doesn't fit your lifestyle?

edit

she did it to the other kids too

Mirabel joined our family, with her brother and sister, when she was 7 years old in June 2011 after being removed and in 3 different foster homes for 7 months. She went by Yukehily (you-kay-lee) until we adopted her in May 2012 and changed her name to Mirabel (means wonderful beauty).

Risa joined our family, with her brother and sister, when she was 4 years old in June 2011 after being removed and in 2 different foster homes for 7 months. She went by Ludian (loo-dee-in) until we adopted her in May 2012 and changed her name to Risa (means laughter).

[DuggarsTheEndIsNear]

Private adoption may be specified because foster care/public adoption kids aren't allowed to be homeschooled until they are 100% adopted. It could be that the private agency allows homeschooling.

[Toothfairy]

from her blog

this makes me so furious. how dare you change the name of a 10 year old, like hes a toy and not a human being with feelings who is attached to his name. That is something that I wouldn't do to an animal, let alone a child. an older child being adopted is going to have trouble adjusting to begin with, and then you decide your new accessory's name doesn't fit your lifestyle?

edit

she did it to the other kids too

I see nothing wrong with changing a child's name, but they should want their name change. I wonder if their adopted children act out will they send them back? Or send them for brainwashing.

[Toothfairy]

Private adoption may be specified because foster care/public adoption kids aren't allowed to be homeschooled until they are 100% adopted. It could be that the private agency allows homeschooling.

I think it depends on the agency and what's best for the child. Some might allow it others don't.

[anachronistic]

I am quite certain that their real names (called by? EW. Like you call someone sweetie?) also meant something, she just didn't bother to find out what.

[Howl]

Everyone is smiling in these pictures, but apparently there are/were desperately rough patches:

5kids6months.blogspot.com/2014/03/healing-in-hurt-battling-fear-anger-and.html

She says she did not become a Christian until 2009, which is quite recent.....or, perhaps she was a Christian, before, but not a "real" Christian.

One kid with reactive attachment disorder....rough

A whole bunch of them? Can't imagine, although her description gives a pretty good insight.

[SoybeanQueen]

The private adoption reference is because the families giving up their children may not be able to adopt again if their agency knows they aren't really giving their kids a permanent home. It's not always the case, but I've seen it happen where the parents' biggest concern was how best to preserve their ability to try again with different kids.

I'm curious how someone could, in good conscience, talk about children needing re-adoption as having absolutely no special needs or educational issues. For one thing, disrupting them yet again will cause trauma, which is a special need on its own. Older adoptees have their own set of needs.

[formergothardite]

This is just another homeschool conference with great and encouraging speakers to help strengthen Christians, parents and families in their walk with the Lord.

I've been to homeschool conferences and then I have been to the yearly ATI conferences. No, it isn't just another homeschool conference. :angry-banghead:

It should hurt our heart when we see a man fall and hurt our heart all the more when they bring a whole ministry with them.

You know what her heart should be hurting over, the 50 + women who were assaulted, molested, and harassed by Gothard. Her heart should hurt for the ones who tried so hard to work their way up in the "ministry" but were ignored because they weren't pretty enough. Her heart should hurt for the ones whose parents were encouraged by him and his teachings to spiritually and physically abuse their children. Her hearts should hurt for the adult former students who are cut off from their family because they rejected Gothard's teachings. Those are the people she should hurt for. A man who built an empire on the backs of unpaid teens? Well, he is just getting his comeuppance.

ATI has gotten more relaxed over the years, so I'm not surprised adoption is more accepted. Back when we were going to these things we got lectures on how nobody needed any sort of higher education and now ATI has its own "college".

[HereticHick]

Uribe:

topographic name for someone who lived in the lower part of a village, from Basque uri 'settlement' + be(h)e 'lower part'.habitational name from Uribe, a town in Biscay province, Basque Country.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I cant imagine changing the name of an adopted child (unless they were a baby and too young to understand what their name is), its their name, they've already lost everything they know, and their name is their identity, especially if it is a name that has significance to their birth family or culture.

[precious_one]

I read her blog yesterday when I saw the article FB. I don't agree with name changing unless the children truly wanted it. The other thing is I hope she is getting them the therapies and other support they need. I know in my school district you can home school and still receive services through the district. The home schoolers that I have personally encountered would never use any services from the public school district.

There were just too many warning bells going off about this family. They could be very nice and caring people. ATI is my deciding factor about them.

[PennySycamore]

My daughter and her husband did give their toddler daughter an "American" first name, but did keep her Chinese name as her middle name.

(My granddaughter's adopted first name is actually Greek in origin.)

[lagenialester]

ATI has gotten more relaxed over the years, so I'm not surprised adoption is more accepted. Back when we were going to these things we got lectures on how nobody needed any sort of higher education and now ATI has its own "college".

My fundie lite cousin, who I'm almost POSITIVE has become ATI in the last few years, adopted two children via foster care because they can't have their own kids. I don't think they would be into ATI if adoption wasn't accepted.

[Rebelwife]

I cant imagine changing the name of an adopted child (unless they were a baby and too young to understand what their name is), its their name, they've already lost everything they know, and their name is their identity, especially if it is a name that has significance to their birth family or culture.

My relative who adopted two children from China did change the girl's name, but she was only 9 months old and her Chinese name was one that sounded enough like an unfortunate English phrase that she would almost certainly have been teased if she had kept it. The boy was 7, though, and they didn't even consider changing his name.

[terranova]

On the blog side bar the children are called New Name First Old Name Second, so it appears they have moved their original names into 2nd place. That must be pretty confusing for an 11 year old, let alone a 4 year old.

[guidedbybobafett]

I'm almost positive this is the woman who "sent her child back" because she was running away and then went to retrieve her, so I don't think she's very sensitive to rehoming issues or any other adoption issues. If anyone knows differently please correct me.

[SoybeanQueen]

On the blog side bar the children are called New Name First Old Name Second, so it appears they have moved their original names into 2nd place. That must be pretty confusing for an 11 year old, let alone a 4 year old.

Probably depends on the kid. Our kids that joined us via adoption were 5, 6, and 9 when their names changed. They had a choice in it, and my daughter chose her new first name herself (the younger boys chose from a list because they wanted to be called superhero names). We encouraged the change for safety reasons. They're not to have any contact with their biological family, but it would have been too easy for some of the former abusers to seek them out without the name change.

They didn't seem to have any trouble adjusting, but I think they were ready for a complete change and new life after several years in foster care. My daughter said recently that she feels like she's always had her new name. I was surprised at how easy the transition was at the time.

Name changes aren't something I feel should be done without lots of thought. I don't think they're all automatically insensitive or traumatizing, though.

[Rebelwife]

Probably depends on the kid. Our kids that joined us via adoption were 5, 6, and 9 when their names changed. They had a choice in it, and my daughter chose her new first name herself (the younger boys chose from a list because they wanted to be called superhero names). We encouraged the change for safety reasons. They're not to have any contact with their biological family, but it would have been too easy for some of the former abusers to seek them out without the name change.

They didn't seem to have any trouble adjusting, but I think they were ready for a complete change and new life after several years in foster care. My daughter said recently that she feels like she's always had her new name. I was surprised at how easy the transition was at the time.

Name changes aren't something I feel should be done without lots of thought. I don't think they're all automatically insensitive or traumatizing, though.

True, but like so many shitty things kids have happen to them through no fault of their own, the difference is all in how it is handled. If it has been explained to them (in age appropriate ways) that a new name is in their best interest and they have been given some control in how that goes, that's one thing. If someone just says "your old heathen name is no good, here's a nice shiny Christian name for you and never mind your culture or history" then that's something else.

[FloraKitty35]

Children should be able to have a choice in a name change, even if they were given a crappy name in the first place.