Crazy Movie Review Site

[knitwit]

Boo, they gave Captain America a slight pass; here I was hoping that any movie I liked they'd hate. Though they did find a fair bit:

Men, including the physically-improved main character, are seen without shirts a couple of times. The main female character wears a fitted, somewhat low-cut red dress in one scene.

Dude, half the reason to watch the movie is because Chris Evans is hot. Also LOL at Peggy's dress being so shocking.

Under "Brief Mild Sensuality":

A soldier makes a comment about switching classes in college because the girls were cuter

*eyeroll*

One of the major side characters is a female agent in a supervisory position - high heels and automatic weapons...She also gets involved in a chase scene and (entirely by choice) a fighting scene, shooting at bad guys.

God knows we can't possibly have that! Reviewer is going to freak at Avengers and Captain America 2 then.

There is a mild potential hint at a humanistic frame of reference, with the emphasis on Steve (probably not a Christian character) being “a good man.â€

Oh for fuck's sake. I'd say there's a better chance of Steve being Christian than anyone else in the MCU. Also god forbid someone should call him a good man without referencing god at some point.

Of course they are horrified when it comes to Iron Man, most of which is no fun as it's pretty much expected though there is:

Positively-portrayed government agents...provide Stark with a fabricated alibi, including “sworn statements†from fifty guests of a party that never happened.

BITCH BACK OFF MY PHIL COULSON OR I WILL END YOU

Throughout the movie, Stark considers himself the measure of all things. He judges morality and purpose, even on his more socially-conscious days, by whether he can say, “I know in my heart it’s right.â€

Because if you can't cite something to the Bible, it doesn't apply, am I right?

And then, of course, there's Thor which much to my surprise gets the same rating as Captain America, though:

Thor is an action-packed, thin-ice movie – treading a dangerous but intriguing mythological wasteland without falling through, and balancing on the razor’s edge between science and magic.

In the movie, however, it’s claimed that none of the characters are actually gods, but were mistaken for gods by the superstitious Vikings. Thor mentions "Valhalla" in passing, and could either mean the traditional Norse-pagan hall of the dead, or the biblical heaven (the Vikings having mistaken that, just as they mistook their "gods").

So Thor and the others were mistaken for gods by the Norse, but though they're not Christian, their version of heaven possibly is? Okaaay.

One of the other-world side characters is a female warrior, and is shown fighting in battles. Early in the movie, Thor boasts of having supported the girl in demonstrating that "a young maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors."

Dude if you have problems with Lady Sif, you and I are going to have serious problems.

Thor makes a positive comment about the two of them drinking together, leaving it unclear whether he condones the man's drunkenness.

Uh, I'd say his comment of "He drank, he fought, he made his ancestors proud" is a sign that Thor has no problem with getting plastered.

[EyeQueue]

I was poking around there somewhere and I didn't find a place where it specifically said it, but I got the impression that at least some of the reviews were done by request.

So maybe there are fundies out there that pick those shows thinking they will be nice and wholesome, but little did they know there was EVIL lurking, after all.

Better stick with Winnie the Pooh. Pooh is not dangerous!

Now, now, Curious...Pooh is a total slut because no pants. :naughty: :snooty:

[Curious]

I've now been sucked into reading these reviews. I just finished the ones for Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Princess Bride, National Treasure, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Talk about sucking all the fun out a movie. Of course I was taught that most movies are for entertainment and not for affirming life choices. If they were I'd want to be an elf or a pirate or a pirate elf.

This is a good point. If I wanted to watch a movie that was about REAL LIFE (vs entertainment), I'd only watch documentaries. If I recall, she found stuff wrong in March of the Penguins, too, though.

[Curious]

Now, now, Curious...Pooh is a total slut because no pants. :naughty: :snooty:

Apparently, she can overlook that. Her exact words were that it was not dangerous. I quoted her somewhere else in this thread.

[Terrie]

Oh for fuck's sake. I'd say there's a better chance of Steve being Christian than anyone else in the MCU. Also god forbid someone should call him a good man without referencing god at some point.

Well, Steve is Catholic, so to them, he wouldn't count as Christian.

[knitwit]

Oh my god, there's an entire section in the Star Trek review about how all aliens are going to hell.

Problem number one: every last one of these non-human creatures is obviously sinful. Not being human means that their sin nature doesn’t come from the first Adam. It also means that they cannot be saved by the second Adam. Jesus Christ could only atone for human sin by virtue of his being fully God and fully man. Humans can believe on Christ unto salvation. Categories of beings who do not have that option include angels, flees, alkaline batteries, and non-human aliens.

:wtf: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[Terrie]

Can someone explain the whole "believe on Jesus" thing? Is it a holdover from KJV English? A special "one of us" fundie code? It makes me think that they're using Jesus like a couch.

[Cran]

My favourite review is Bambi:

The sexual content of Bambi—now that’s something that requires real caution. The Bible doesn’t warn us outright to beware of sympathizing too much with hunted animals. It tells us very plainly, however, to watch out for seductive females… like the lady loves in cute little cartoon movies.

For example, the rabbit Thumper’s femme fatale gives a display of giggling, primping, coy glances, batting of eyelashes and calculated sauntering—to clarinet music—that would be completely unacceptable for a human female. And, hopefully, the idea of a strange woman kissing a young man (like our son or brother) on the mouth in real life wouldn’t be as humorous to Christian audiences as it was apparently meant to be in the movie. Some of the other flirtation and physical affection is less humanized, and as long as young children understand the difference in the contexts, it probably won’t be a problem.

purityandprecision.com/2011/07/movie-review-bambi.html

I'm totally into hot seductive furry animals. Perhaps not into Thumper, but Flower is cute, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2_vNvEl5Aw

[ViolaSebastian]

Oooh, that sexy, sultry clarinet music! I know I just want to rip off my clothes whenever I hear the clarinet solo during 'Stranger on the Shore'...

[cindyluvs24]

OK, some little bim named Amanda concluded that both Casablanca and The Princess Bride were not worth watching. Someone else "reviewed" The Great Escape by listing each "h-ll" and the review of To Kill A Mockingbird totally left out the entire Boo Radley subplot. Even Kidist writes better reviews and opinion pieces. :angry-banghead:

[Phoebe]

Coulson lives!!!!

:cracking-up:

[Curious]

My favourite review is Bambi:

purityandprecision.com/2011/07/movie-review-bambi.html

I'm totally into hot seductive furry animals. Perhaps not into Thumper, but Flower is cute, right?

q2_vNvEl5Aw

I was going to bring up this Bambi review earlier and then I just couldn't be bothered because the thought of someone watching Bambi and finding sexual content in it was a little too OTT for me.

Now, that you brought it up AND mentioned my favorite Flower, though ;)

When i was a kid, my grandpa got me a bunny and I wanted to name it Flower after the skunk in Bambi, who is obviously the BEST character ;) For some reason, this was unacceptable because Flower was a skunk not a bunny (mind you I was like 3-4 years old). My favorite book at the time was the Pokey Little Puppy (who I note is also NOT a bunny!), so the adults wanted to name the bunny Pokey. We ended up with a compromise and a bunny named Pokeyflower ;)

Watching Bambi as a child (or an adult), never made me think of sex. Frankly, if your very young children or even your teen children watch Bambi and think that scene is "sexual content," I would seriously question your parenting and worry that your kids had been sexually abused by someone :(

For people that are so into modesty and think sex before marriage is a taboo, they talk about sex more than the most liberal, open friends I have.

[samurai_sarah]

Oooh, that sexy, sultry clarinet music! I know I just want to rip off my clothes whenever I hear the clarinet solo during 'Stranger on the Shore'...

Needs moar cellos.

[Trynn]

I LOVED Pokey little puppy! I still have some of those books!

My parents let me name the cat "Critter," after the cat in the book "Critter the class car."

[Nothing2CHere]

Oooh, is there a review of Pollyanna? Please tell me there's a review of Pollyanna!

[Etaoin Shrdlu]

No Pollyanna unfortunately - I was hoping for that one too!

Color me amazed - s/he finds How the Grinch Stole Christmas enjoyable!! Not Jesus-y enough, but still enjoyable!

[thekate]

Oh my god, there's an entire section in the Star Trek review about how all aliens are going to hell.

:wtf: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

Anniebgood posted this on the Joyful Christian Homemaking thread, but it seemed appropriate here to. Too bad it's by those evil non-Protestants, the Catholics!

Left this comment on her site:

This should blow her middle earth =- aliens theories to who knows where. At least these guys are real bonafide scientists as opposed to CB who is the queen of cut and paste.

[JaChelle Sugar]

There's this gem from the avengers: " Several of the fighting scenes involve one or the other of two female side characters who have been trained for dangerous careers."

[Maggie Mae]

I did not need to find this thread/site today.

How is Aladdin unacceptable, but The Patriot is A-OK?

[snarktastic]

The BBC production of Mansfield Park is a cracker. NOT to be recommended - immodest clothes! Characters using language such as 'by George'! Handholding during English country dancing!

This is satire, yes?

http://www.purityandprecision.com/2010/ ... -1983.html

[jerkit]

I did not need to find this thread/site today.

How is Aladdin unacceptable, but The Patriot is A-OK?

Because violence is totes okay.

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2014/04/ ... t-violent/