Crazy Movie Review Site

[brokenminded]

I always read plugged in before deciding if a movie is bad enough to be watchable.

Can't wait to read this site.

[indygirl76]

I always read plugged in before deciding if a movie is bad enough to be watchable.

Haha, I thought I was the only one who did this! :lol:

[salex]

It is hard to find who to blame credit for this movie rating page, but Chip Ingram's name seems more or less plastered all over it

livingontheedge.org/about-us/chip-ingram

, and if you dig deeply on the contact page it takes you to heartcrymissionary.com/staff several of the men listed on this page don't list their last names, just last initials... is that normal for missionaries?

[PennySycamore]

My parents took me to see "Bridge Over the River Kwai" when i was 2 or 3 (It was not remotely first run, but it was at a theater). A few years later I asked mom about some parts of the movie, and she was horrified that remembered it at all... she had assumed I was young enough I'd not "get" any of it....

I remember going to see Gone With the Wind at the drive-in with my parents and my older siblings when I was maybe 3. I remember that there was a girl in a pretty white dress walking across the yard at the beginning and there was a big fire in it. That's it! One of my brothers and I used to watch Thriller and Alfred Hitchcock Presents on TV, too, even though we were preschoolers at the time. We ended up sleeping with our folks lots of times, but apparently our diet of adult TV (watched the Tonight Show with Jack Paar, too) didn't hurt us.

[Becket70]

Yes, how dare the Jewish characters be hostile to Christianity when their Christian neighbors allowed them to live in peace and harmony in Anatevka forever, with no problems whatsoever.

Oh, wait . . .

My grandfather came from a village in Russia not unlike the one in Fiddler on the Roof. He lived there at the same time as the fictional movie town, as well. He desperately wanted to emigrate to get to the US because of all the overt discrimination and persecution he and others had to put up with. He was a poor young man at that time so he made an arrangement with a man in the US which stipulated that the man would pay my grandfather's boat passage to the US and, in return, my grandfather was obligated to marry the man's daughter. This was not an unusual arrangement for those times. Jews emigrated from Russia en masse. It was a very bad time for them and I would not have blamed them if they were "hostile to Christianity".

[GeoBQn]

I hope that she never reviews Schindler's List. She would probably give it a negative review for violence, brief glimpses of nudity, and making the viewer feel sympathy for non-Christians.

[latraviata]

I hope that she never reviews Schindler's List. She would probably give it a negative review for violence, brief glimpses of nudity, and making the viewer feel sympathy for non-Christians.

I love to see 'Deep Throat' reviewed.

[Chasingthedog]

I love this site. So cray. So very very very cray.

In the movie Babe, the veterinarian sedating a dog with a needle is listed under violence. But Bambi's FUCKING MOTHER getting shot "may to get some little kid's emotions"

LOL WHUT? That was emotionally devastating. I wish she would review Wolf of Wall Street. It would break her. (or him... do we know?)

[Ms Jess]

So which movies do they review positively? I'm having a hard time figuring out what would be acceptable. :think:

[Curious]

If you really want a great laugh, go read the Jurrasic Park review :shock:

[terranova]

purityandprecision.com/2011/04/movies-by-genre.html

Despicable Me

In this review, the writer complains that the main character is too bad and then complains that the little girls don't do what he wants them to do. If someone is bad, why would it be good for the little girls to obey him?

I think the message here is no matter HOW bad your headship is, you have to blindy obey them. See also: The Maxwell sisters.

[DaffyDill]

If you really want a great laugh, go read the Jurrasic Park review :shock:

Oh my... :pink-shock:

You're right though Curious, twas a bit of an LOL reading that one. The reviewer was so hung up on the evolutionary aspects of the film, I had to chuckle :D

[mockingbird]

Haha omg. This is going to provide my entertainment for today... some highlights from the Pride and Prejudice (2005) review:

The Lord’s name is taken in vain three times in the movie—one-fourth the number of deliberate profanities in the book.

Just in case you were wondering, she went through the book and added up the profanities.

To get to the point about the sexual content, though, I must say that the element I find most offensive in this category is the complete nudity. Honestly, I don’t think it matters all that much whether human nakedness is displayed in “real life†or only in a piece of film… or on somebody’s living-room wall… or their ceiling… or their personal art gallery. The murals on Lady Catherine’s walls and on Mr. Darcy’s foyer ceiling exhibit as much of the human form as can actually be shown from just one perspective at a time. And it’s not a question of the filmmakers just ignoring the “artwork†around them; one scene involves Jane Austen’s Elizabeth Bennet gazing at full-length, fully-unclothed male statues for a very deliberate length of time.

At first, I was confused, because I didn't remember any nudity in this movie... oh :lol:

When a story like Pride & Prejudice is brought over into the medium of film, we also have to stop and ask, What did the director understand about Jane Austen? In this case, he apparently understood enough about her to uphold all nineteen of the most problematic worldview themes in Jane Austen’s literary works.

What are these 19 most problematic worldview themes in Jane Austen books, you may ask? You can read them all here: http://www.purityandprecision.com/2010/ ... es-in.html Two good ones though - "It is normative and desirable to experience the most important points of life at some distance from one’s parents." and "It is normative to fall in love with, or be loved by, more than one individual."

[salex]

Check out the reviews on Christy and Little women.

THis reviewr says in the little women review

1 If you want a look at a really horrid perspective on women and marriage, see Margaret Fuller’s ([in]famous feminist and transcendentalist writer of the mid-eighteen hundreds) The Great Lawsuit.

So some really basic battles on women's rights are still on this person's mind.

[Sobeknofret]

Check out the reviews on Christy and Little women.

I would suggest that you read them over and over again until they inspire fear and trembling. Quakerism is not just another denomination, and their differences with biblical Christianity do not merely lie in their positions on war and worship styles. My purpose in this review is not to analyze Quakerism, any more than it is to criticize Catherine Marshall’s concepts of faith and morality (though both of those things need to be done), so I will leave it to the more curious readers to search out the other dark secrets of Quakerism… and perhaps of Catherine Marshall.

I died laughing. Wonder when I'm going to get to see the "dark secrets of Quakerism," considering, yanno, I am one. :D

[formergothardite]

From Lemony Snicket:

Count Olaf once uses the phrase “wax on, wax off.â€

A female side character is a justice of the peace.

A mention is made of alcohol.

The phrase “thick as thieves†is used metaphorically

A lake is personified as being “angry and ill-humored.â€

What the every loving fuck?! :pink-shock:

[FJismyheadship]

My theory

This person likes to watch worldy movies but needs a Godly reason to do so.

Or its satire.

[Hane]

I nipped over there and was instantly enthralled by it. I sat there agape at damn near everything s/he had to say (I got the impression that there are multiple reviewers there).

I kept finding quotations so outrageous I wanted to share them here, but there were so MANY of them I finally threw my hands up and recommend that those of you who are not faint of heart take a look for yourselves.

For example, the mother in "I Remember Mama" is guilty of letting her kids learn by experience instead of getting all up in their faces, and there isn't enough Jesusiness in the story. Atticus in "To Kill a Mockingbird" has never whipped Jem, and Scout isn't the image of what a "proper" little girl should be, what with her overalls and dislike of dresses.

Basically, any movie that doesn't tout Our Official Fundamentalist Patriarchal YEC Version of Christianity[tm][/tm] is Doin It Rong.

It's even scarier than My Lady Bibliophile.

[Marianne]

Can we say to her that "Gerontophilia" is a movie about a young boy learning to help old boy ? She will love it.

And omg, his criticism of Les Misérables... This movie is not bad because it's non-christian, it's bad because it's an insult to Victor Hugo book's =___= (even if there is Russel Crow **)

[salex]

I died laughing. Wonder when I'm going to get to see the "dark secrets of Quakerism," considering, yanno, I am one. :D

The person(or people) writing these reviews must be a ton of fun at any social gathering.

[Becket70]

I went to the site and read a number of reviews. If that is what it means to be a Christian, no thank you. I definitely do not want to hang around with people who base their movie choices on her reviews. It seems like there would be almost no movie acceptable to see according to this site. Their brand of Christianity is more OCD than religion.

[Hane]

I'm willing to bet these folks are of the Calvinist/Reformed Presbyterian ilk, from all the theological hair-splitting they do.

[Terrie]

The Princess Bride apparently promotes anscetor worship. :?

[Hane]

In several of the reviews, movies are excoriated because characters "talk" to dead relatives, which is Wrong, because how dare you pray to anyone but God? One even reminds the parents watching these films to be sure to explain to their children how this is theologically "wrong."

I'm also enjoying the arbitrary age-appropriate values one female reviewer assigns: she says that one of the movies is appropriate for boys over 12 and girls over 15. Huh?

[Olive Plant]

I can't find a single movie that is listed as worth watching. Not even Casablanca. The listed reason for this website is that movies influence society (apparently… all for the worse). So why are you watching so many ebil movies? How about you just say "all movies are bad" and stop being such a hypocrite?