Crazy Movie Review Site

[salex]

OK, this is my new favorite site!

When reviewing God's and Generals, that Fundie Favorite (and the one for boys 12 and up and girls 15 and up) he points out this bit:

Cultural Stumbling-Blocks:

Men of both sides smoke pipes and cigars. Whiskey, morphine and chloroform are given to dying men to ease their pain. :? Who is the audienced if the idea of cholorform for people dying agonizing deaths is iffy?

I also love how s/he points out the characters are married and kissing, but the actors are NOT married to each other, so that kissing is BAD>>>>

THe veggie tales version of Jonah is not recommended... not biblical enough....

[Curious]

That minced oaths list and another list I found on that site are crazy. I had no idea so many things really meant Jesus/God/etc. I mean maybe they do, but was Sylvester the cat *really* saying "Suffering Savior" when he would say "suffering succotash?"

This is their rather complete *ahem* list of standards. I can't think of any movie that would pass the test in all these categories. In fact, I can't think of much in life that would pass the rigors of this list :shock:

We are committed to: .............. ...Which means we are opposed to, or at least watching for:

Christianity

.......................................................Moralism

.......................................................Conspicuously Absent Christianity

........................................................ ....Irrelevant Christianity

.............................................................Works-Based Views of Heaven

.......................................................Humanism

.......................................................Darwinism

.......................................................Judaism

.......................................................Infidelity to Explicit Statements in Scripture

.......................................................Unorthodox Spiritualism

........................................................... .Unbiblical Angels

.............................................................Magic

.............................................................Ghosts

.............................................................Morally Responsible Mythological Creatures

........................................................... .Sourceless Spirituality

.......................................................Antinomianism

.................................................... ........Minimized Sin

..................................................... .......Legitimized Sin

Reformed Protestantism

.......................................................Roman Catholicism

.......................................................Pelagianism

.......................................................Dispensationalism

Purpose and Purposefulness

.......................................................Nihilism

.......................................................Anti-intellectualism

.......................................................Irresponsibility

Sexual and Emotional Purity

.......................................................Immodesty

............................................................Immodest Clothing

............................................................Immodest Posture and Demeanor

............................................................Compromising or Tempting Situations

.......................................................Physical Intimacy

............................................................Implied Sexual Intimacy

............................................................Kissing

............................................................Embraces and Touches

.......................................................Emotional Intimacy

............................................................Dating

............................................................Directionless Romantic Relationships

............................................................Psychologically Expressed Intimacy

............................................................Romantic Tension

.......................................................Idealism

Innocence

.......................................................Graphic Images

.......................................................Emotionally Intense Scenarios

Wholesome Language

.......................................................Swearing

.......................................................Slang (see "Minced Oaths and What They Mean," here)

.......................................................Insult

.......................................................Sarcasm

Honorable Humor

.......................................................Vulgar Humor

.......................................................Derogatory Humor

.......................................................Comical Pain

.......................................................Comical Sin

Christian Family Structure

.......................................................Socialism

............................................................Weak, Stupid or Immoral Fathers

............................................................Overly Wise or Correct Children

............................................................Missing Parent Syndrome

............................................................Community Contrasted Positively with Family

............................................................Friends Contrasted Positively with Family

.......................................................Feminism

............................................................Women with an Independent Mindset

............................................................Women with a Superiority Mindset

............................................................Women with a Career Focus

............................................................Unhappy Mothers and Housewives

............................................................Disdain for Former Models of Domesticity

............................................................Unbalanced Romantic Relationships

.......................................................Parent-Free Discipleship

............................................................Caricatured Parental Sheltering

............................................................Teachers Contrasted Positively with Parents

............................................................Public School Focus

[Curious]

.............................................................Morally Responsible Mythological Creatures

.......................................................Idealism

.......................................................Sarcasm

............................................................Community Contrasted Positively with Family

............................................................Friends Contrasted Positively with Family

Quoting myself, but some of these "standards" are....interesting.

Like the bold one. Would a morally irresponsible mythological creature be ok? You'd think if the creature of myth (meaning didn't exist) was being morally responsible it would be ok :?

Community contrasted positively with family. I'm not even sure I understand what that means.

I don't want to live in a world withoug sarcasm...I just don't :(

[GeoBQn]

Interesting that they single out Judaism, rather than just a blanket "Non-Christian Faiths" or some other broad term.

[Curious]

I found one!

Winnie the Pooh is "enjoyable"

I do not find Winnie the Pooh to be dangerous. Not being a small child, and not having one about me anywhere, I think it would be unfair to judge this film on my own opinion of its quality. I believe that most families will find it an enjoyable film… and, as far as fixing an age restriction, I will leave that to the discretion of individual families.

PURITY AND PRECISION RATING: ENJOYABLE

I'm so relieved to find out that my favorite of all the Disney franchise, Pooh and friends are NOT dangerous. I don't have to have my husband purge the house of hundreds of Pooh related items now. Such a relief!

[Curious]

Help me...trapped in rabbit hole...can't escape!

Last one for a while, I promise:

This is from Tangled:

There are numerous sarcasms, ironies, mouthings-off and insolent tones of voice that will now be repeated by little children all over the globe—some of them mimicking Rapunzel’s defiance of Mother Gothel, others mimicking Mother Gothel herself.

Being a horrible heathen mother like I was, my children had tapes of various Disney movies and other children's movies (I can't still sing songs from Timmy the Tooth) and they watched them over and over and over (and over and over). My son would often watch a tape, rewind it and watch it again...several times in one day.

I don't remember once when he picked up anything from any of the movies that he repeated. I, on the other hand, walked around a professional office singing Timmy the Tooth songs all freaking day because it was usually the last thing I heard when I left the house in the morning. They are pretty catchy tunes.

[lilith]

I found one!

Winnie the Pooh is "enjoyable"

I'm so relieved to find out that my favorite of all the Disney franchise, Pooh and friends are NOT dangerous. I don't have to have my husband purge the house of hundreds of Pooh related items now. Such a relief!

Isn't there some fundie who thinks Piglet is gay and Kanga is a single mother, therefore Pooh is bad? I can't remember who, but I would love to see her go all holier than thou on this site and accusing them of supporting the decline of the Christian family through the endorsement of Pooh Bear

[Trynn]

I think in the original book kanga WAS a single mother... Not sure about the Disney version, though.

[Megan]

My theory

This person likes to watch worldy movies but needs a Godly reason to do so.

Or its satire.

I'm leaning towards the first, since it'd be a lot of time to dedicate to satire.

Their hypocrisy is so obvious. They deemed the first Chronicles of Narnia movie as "Not Worth Watching" yet watched the sequel(s)

from this first:

- Evidently Peter saying "shut up" twice is a problem. :wtf:

- "Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, in a departure from the originals (and which character in this film is not?), display a sarcastic, back-biting, occasionally sweet relationship, intended to provide a degenerate form of comic relief."

- " Mr. Beaver put it this way: “I hope you’ve all been good!†For the Christian, red flags should begin waving madly. With as much effort as we put into articulating doctrines that emphatically deny any value in good works apart from a right relationship with the God of the New Testament, it seems a pity to deliberately introduce a good child/bad child distinction that completely ignores the spiritual state of the individual. "

- " He is an Aslan who, as a sheep before her shearers is silent2, so… he only snarls at his oppressors, and doesn’t get as violent as he wants to. His death is not an Atonement, and he accomplishes very little with it." (Um, if this is the crucifixion, wouldn't that be the most accurate representation? Jesus didn't respond to his arrest in a violent way...)

[Megan]

Oh man, this really is quite the rabbit hole.

Guess the movie from this blurb:

Has the Wickedness sign

For: strong New Age themes, spiritism, divination, brief cross dressing, lasting approbation of irresponsibility, strong disrespect of authority, mild feminism, and slang and crude name calling

The movie is *drumroll*

The Lion King

[Curious]

Isn't there some fundie who thinks Piglet is gay and Kanga is a single mother, therefore Pooh is bad? I can't remember who, but I would love to see her go all holier than thou on this site and accusing them of supporting the decline of the Christian family through the endorsement of Pooh Bear

Well, for full disclosure, she *did* mention that children may ask why Roo doesn't have a father which would lead to some rather sticky family conversations, but I guess since she considers it a true "kids" movie vs a family movie, she was willing to give that one minor thing a pass in this case.

She did also mention there were a couple language problems where the characters said things like "blast it all!" and that Pooh might be considered a utilitarian because of his "all bees do is make honey" stance.

So it wasn't exactly a glowing, all is great review, which I guess is why it didn't get the HIGHEST review of "recommendable," but I was happy to find something that qualified as "enjoyable" vs the usual "not worth watching" or worse that all the other ones I looked at rated ;)

[Curious]

Interesting that they single out Judaism, rather than just a blanket "Non-Christian Faiths" or some other broad term.

They single out Catholics later on in the list as well.

I'd be exhausted if I had to watch for that much stuff in my life. I would just sit in a dark room doing nothing for fear of running into something "bad." :mouse-shock:

[Curious]

Oh man, this really is quite the rabbit hole.

Guess the movie from this blurb:

Has the Wickedness sign

For: strong New Age themes, spiritism, divination, brief cross dressing, lasting approbation of irresponsibility, strong disrespect of authority, mild feminism, and slang and crude name calling

The movie is *drumroll*

The Lion King

Woot! I had it right, but only because someone mentioned the cross-dressing quote from it earlier in this thread ;)

[PennySycamore]

I think in the original book kanga WAS a single mother... Not sure about the Disney version, though.

I think you're right about Kanga being a single mother in the book, but Mr Kanga is nowhere to be seen in the Disney version either.

[Megan]

I can't stop!

GUESS THE MOVIE:

If you want a study in how Hollywood can use a new take on a classic [...] to preach communism, humanism, feminism and the benefit of a host of personal vices, I strongly suggest you look for another movie to make your point—not because [TITLE] doesn’t showcase corruption well enough; it does that better, perhaps, than any other movie of it kind; but because the corruption is so pervasive and so repulsive that there is no amount of education worth enduring it. My father and brother walked out because of the rampant immodesty. My mother walked out because of the vulgarity. My sister and I made it through to the end that once, but if asked to see any part of it again, we would both say [no]

*drumroll*

That well known corrupter, Ever After.

I'm seriously amazed at how anything and everything can be offensive. I knew that movie would get a bad rating for being too "feminist" for them, but man do they nitpick and inflate every small thing to be a huge, moral-shattering issue.

Re: Winnie the Pooh. I'd guess they'd say that Kanga could be a widow or something?

[browngrl]

The more movie reviews I read the more crazy I find. So I'm starting to wonder is this a site a joke? Am I being trolled?

[formergothardite]

Help me...trapped in rabbit hole...can't escape!

Last one for a while, I promise:

This is from Tangled:

Being a horrible heathen mother like I was, my children had tapes of various Disney movies and other children's movies (I can't still sing songs from Timmy the Tooth) and they watched them over and over and over (and over and over). My son would often watch a tape, rewind it and watch it again...several times in one day.

I don't remember once when he picked up anything from any of the movies that he repeated. I, on the other hand, walked around a professional office singing Timmy the Tooth songs all freaking day because it was usually the last thing I heard when I left the house in the morning. They are pretty catchy tunes.

I still catch myself humming the mail song from Blue's Clues when I'm checking the mail. :lol:

[Terrie]

She condemns the Nativity Story movie for including extra-bibical details. At ths point, I honestly, don't know if this site is legit or not. Color me confused.

[Terrie]

Finally found some movies they give high ratings to:

Kirk Cameron's historical rewrite Monumental: purityandprecision.com/2013/09/monumental.html (though the cuation that there are guys with bare chests and legs shown)

IndoctriNation, a "documentary" about how pulic schools are destroying christianity in America: purityandprecision.com/2013/08/indoctrination.html

[RachelB]

From Lemony Snicket:

Count Olaf once uses the phrase “wax on, wax off.â€

A female side character is a justice of the peace.

A mention is made of alcohol.

The phrase “thick as thieves†is used metaphorically

A lake is personified as being “angry and ill-humored.â€

What the every loving fuck?! :pink-shock:

Does anyone understand the problem the blogger has with metaphor and personification?

Does she think that figurative language is the same thing as lying?

Is she worried that, if people use metaphor in everyday language, they will start treating the bible as if it (gasp!) contains metaphorical language?

I'm usually pretty good at guessing where people are coming from, even if I don't agree with them (yay for reading student essays!), but I'm kind of stymied here.

[debrand]

I don't think that she really comprehends what fiction and how to tell a story or create an interesting character that isn't a Mary Sue.

[crazyforkate]

I think you guys need a ticket to this - it caught my eye waaayyy back when Katharine Hepburn had just died (and BTW, their article on her is not to be missed):

traditioninaction.org/movies/movies.htm

[Savoring Samsara]

Anybody here remember the CAP Alerts Christian movie review website? That guy was almost as stringent, and had a quasi scientific system meant to mathematically measure how objectionable any given movie was. However, anything that made a movie lose points meant that seeing it was grounds to think your immortal soul might be at risk, so I wonder what the point of the rating system was in the first place. He would also constantly review stuff that was obviously not child appropriate and then clutch his pearls about how much it was corrupting the children - I mean, seriously, what Evangelical Christian parent needs a review site to tell them that they're probably not going to want their 8 year old watching Sin City?

That guy used to watch tons of movies and I always sort of felt like his "ministry" was just getting people to pay him to watch action movies while giving himself a godly excuse to do it. If I remember correctly, the only movies he ever found that could safely be watched without sending you to hell were Mary Poppins and some crappy family flick starring George Takei of all people.

[DefraudedByPlaid]

If I remember correctly, the only movies he ever found that could safely be watched without sending you to hell were Mary Poppins and some crappy family flick starring George Takei of all people.

Oh myyyy.

[Lillybee]

I grew up with the Catholic Legion of Decency reviews. These guys make the Legion of Decency people seem like pussycats.

The Les Miz review made me see red. I guess their view of things is no matter poor or miserable a person's life is, it is best to do nothing because that is the way God wanted it. They claim that Jabot is the most moral person there. Not to mention, all the Catholic bashing.