Sex Addiction/Predator Ed Bait and Swich?

[EyeQueue]

One of my friends posted the following link to her Facebook, saying that all people with children should read this:

www.annemariemiller.com/2013/08/19/thre ... n-and-sex/

On the surface, it seems to be pretty good advice--engaging kids and talking to them about sex, because they might have been molested or viewing pornography.

I'm wondering, though, if this is a bait-and-switch, since the tone becomes increasingly judgmental (it's implied that masturbation and same-sex attraction is bad...at least that was my read of it in the cursory examination I gave the piece). Also, the comments are filled with the typical BECAUSE GAWD!!111 platitudes about sex, purity, etc.

Focus on the Family is eventually referenced in the comments as a good, legit source on sex ed (!!), and then someone drops Debi Pearl's name. I followed the link they gave, which is to her "Yell and Tell" series of books (about reporting sexual abuse--which I can really get behind).

Some of the admonitions in her books seem to blame the victim: www.yellandtellbooks.com/sarasue-coloring-page-08.pdf (is there a latent "Well, you showed your undies, kid, so you kind of invited your own abuse" lurking in this, or am I reading too much into it?)

Others are just accidentally hilarious: www.yellandtellbooks.com/sarasue-coloring-page-01.pdf (Mama says to go out and play with a whole can of "Dong?" WTF?!?)

OK, Pearl tangent aside is the original piece just an underhanded way to instill more shame into kids re: sex, or is this an example of a religious person really stretching her horizons and doing A Good Thing? I honestly can't tell.

[bananacat]

Pretty much every single thing that evangelicals do ever is a bait and switch, so yeah, this fits that bill. As for the "yell and tell", it's good to encourage kids to report, but ALSO to assure them that if they don't tell (out of confusion, fear, or some other reason) that they still don't deserve the abuse, it's not their fault, and it's never too late to seek help.

[Ariel]

See, I think the tone of this starts out as judgmental. Porn addiction is real, but when it's described as a 16 year old girl exploring what's out there in the world...? I find that kinda judgmental. I'm pretty sure there are some people that think you're addicted to porn if you look at it more than once.

This is pretty good advice though:

Ask them what they know. Ask them what they’ve done. Ask them what’s been done to them. Show grace and love. Stay far away from judgment and condemnation. If you feel ill equipped, ask a pastor or counselor for help. If you hear an answer you didn’t expect and your first instinct is to dismiss it – don’t. Find a counselor. Look for resources. Continue following up. If you struggle with this (and let’s admit it, statistically, a lot of us do), get help too.

Side note: She forgets to mention wikipedia as a source of pornography!

I remember when I was 16 and didn't really know the difference between circumcised and not. Wikipedia has pictures....so many pictures :shock: I was definitely disgruntled at the time.

[EyeQueue]

See, I think the tone of this starts out as judgmental. Porn addiction is real, but when it's described as a 16 year old girl exploring what's out there in the world...? I find that kinda judgmental. I'm pretty sure there are some people that think you're addicted to porn if you look at it more than once.

This is pretty good advice though:

Side note: She forgets to mention wikipedia as a source of pornography!

I remember when I was 16 and didn't really know the difference between circumcised and not. Wikipedia has pictures....so many pictures :shock: I was definitely disgruntled at the time.

Good point--yeah, I can see how that sounds judgmental (and the comments really take all of that to a ridiculous level).

Off topic: Yeah, Wikipedia can be a peach. I was recently thinking of what a culture focused on male purity would look like (for a possible short story or novel idea), and I was thinking of a sort of male chastity belt (that I called a "cage"), and I thought I'd wiki "male chastity belts." UGH! It's actually a thing. And....owie!!!

ETA: clarity