Mormom Mom Who Fought for Prop 8 Fights For Gay Son

[lilwriter85]

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/mormon-mom ... cRuputTv1w

excerpt

By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES (@SusanDJames)

June 21, 2013

Wendy and Tom Montgomery are devout Mormons from California who pounded on doors in 2008 to support the passage of Proposition 8, the state referendum that overturned the ruling that allowed same-sex couples to marry in California, and is now before the U.S. Supreme Court.

They did so not knowing that their now 14-year-old son, Jordan, was gay and would later contemplate suicide because of the church's steadfast belief that homosexuality is a sin that would cut him off from his family not only here on earth but in the afterlife.

[doggie]

Loving caring parents these two are not.

[Jinger Jar]

While it's nice when parents change their bigoted world view *after* one of their offspring comes out as gay, my question is why does it have to involve their own family members before they develop a bit of empathy, compassion, and understanding? This child's mother said she became a "master researcher" about LGBTQQIA issues after he came out. Why didn't she become a master researcher *before* she and her husband pounded on doors in support of Prop 8 in '08? Did it not occur to her back then that she'd better know exactly what she was talking about before she persuaded friends, neighbors, and stangers to vote for anti-gay legislation?

Perhaps I'm too cynical, but I'm suspicious of people like this, people who become allies to a cause only after it hits home. I fear that generally speaking, they'll be supportive of an issue only as far as it affects them or their loved ones. People affected by something that doesn't directly impact them can rot in hell as far as they're concerned.

[Trynn]

It's still better than nothing.

[sparkles]

Some people can't fully appreciate how damaging their beliefs can be until what was probably an abstract concept affects them personally. In the end, I guess all that matters to me is that they DID have a change of heart, not necessarily how they got there. And often, they can be more effective in turning others around, since they come from similar backgrounds and philosophies, while "outsiders" may always be thought of as the enemy.

[lizziesmom]

What are they advocating now? Are they doing anything to make sure there is never another Prop 8? I have a friend who lives in California and she said more than half the opposition to Prop 8 and most of the $$$$ to fight it came from the Morman church and residents of other states.

[tuckerphez]

To paraphrase Chris Rock, prejudice isn't worth it because what you hate will end up in your own family. Hate gays? Your son will be gay. Hate Latinos? Your daughter will date a latino.

[debrand]

To paraphrase Chris Rock, prejudice isn't worth it because what you hate will end up in your own family. Hate gays? Your son will be gay. Hate Latinos? Your daughter will date a latino.

Yep. When that grandchild is born and you discover that you love it as much as you did your own children, suddenly it seems silly to be prejudiced against skin tone or nationality.

[nokidsmom]

People start out thinking that stuff like this happens to the other guy, until one day they find they are the other guy.

While I am glad this woman came around after she found out her son was gay instead of maintaining her stance and rejecting him, it does annoy me that people like her don't find any empathy until it happens to them. Sure it's human nature, but still it annoys me.

[rward]

People start out thinking that stuff like this happens to the other guy, until one day they find they are the other guy.

While I am glad this woman came around after she found out her son was gay instead of maintaining her stance and rejecting him, it does annoy me that people like her don't find any empathy until it happens to them. Sure it's human nature, but still it annoys me.

Those people she was campaigning to keep from marrying? Yeah, they're other women's sons. Other women's daughters.

But hey, no big deal until it's your daughter or your son, right?

[Gil]

Conservatives have an empathy problem.

[ADoyle90815]

Conservatives have an empathy problem.

[Jumperhop]

Mormon here who supports equal rights for everyone.

Aka Jesus said love everyone.

Jen

[SpeakNow]

While I hate that it took so much to change her mind, in happy that she did.

[Effie]

I seriously doubt their son would have contemplated suicide if he had gotten the right support at home.

[countressrascal]

Trent Franks ® AZ, recent rape idoit- has a gay son and still does not support gay marriage. h makes no bones about it. :angry-banghead:

[lizziesmom]

Trent Franks ® AZ, recent rape idoit- has a gay son and still does not support gay marriage. h makes no bones about it. :angry-banghead:

I worked with a woman who told me if her son (who was four at the time) turned out to be gay she would disown him. I couldn't believe it. :disgust:

[Gil]

I worked with a woman who told me if her son (who was four at the time) turned out to be gay she would disown him. I couldn't believe it. :disgust:

My mother told sister and I this when I was a pre-teen. Turns out she didn't follow through.

[RachelB]

My mother told sister and I this when I was a pre-teen. Turns out she didn't follow through.

I'm glad she didn't follow through, but I'm sorry she said it-- that's really shitty. Pre-emptively telling your child something like that doesn't make your child less likely to be a gender or sexual minority-- it just makes your child less likely to come out to you.

[CelticGoddess]

Trent Franks (RAZ, recent rape idoit- has a gay son and still does not support gay marriage. h makes no bones about it. :angry-banghead:

I worked with a woman who bragged that her gay brother was going to hell. She was almost proud of that fact. I am not at all suprised to hear that some right wing asshole is saying something horrible like this. :angry-jumpinganger: