American History - by Doug the Tool

[Mary C Doates]

May I suggest this quick example of an" VF approved historical accurate Viking missionary!" :

What´s the viking word for tool again?

Has the wide stance, but I think the tool may be a little...optimistic.

"Doug Phillips": Viking for "tool".

[twin2]

Has the wide stance, but I think the tool may be a little...optimistic.

"Doug Phillips": Viking for "tool".

Are you questioning the size of his anaconda?

[Sobeknofret]

May I suggest this quick example of an" VF approved historical accurate Viking missionary!" :

What´s the viking word for tool again?

The word for tool in Old Norse is tól. Pronounced "tool" with a manly, Viking accent of course.

Sincerely,

An overeducated wimmen who learned old Norse while working on her dissertation.

[debrand]

Are you questioning the size of his anaconda?

We could ask Peter Bradrick

By the way, why isn't Bradrick among the speakers? Has Doug found a new intern to help him hunt for anaconda and go on manly, sweaty romps with him?

[twin2]

We could ask Peter Bradrick

By the way, why isn't Bradrick among the speakers? Has Doug found a new intern to help him hunt for anaconda and go on manly, sweaty romps with him?

Hmmmm. Perhaps the bosom friends have had a falling out. Inquiring minds want to know!!

[Effie]

Which pastors are risking imprisonment for saying something is a sin? I want to know which ones have been arrested for only saying that they believe certain behaviors are wrong. :

Pastor Åke Green, I guess. In Sweden. Almost a decade ago. He said that homosexual people are like a cancerous tumour on the body of society. Too bad he didn't stay the month in prison that he had originally been sentenced to.

[debrand]

.oldsouth.faithweb.com/custom3.html

I also found Lloyd Sprinkle here. Is Vision Forum not trying to hide their racism any longer? They seem to be openly embracing the confederacy now

The Rev. Lloyd Sprinkle

Biographical Sketch

The Rev. Lloyd Sprinkle serves as Pastor of the Parkview Baptist Church in Harrisonburg, Virginia. He also is the founder of Sprinkle Publications:

http://www.sprinklepub.com

Few have done as much for the Southern Cause. Rev. Sprinkle has hosted the Great Revival in the Southern Armies seven times in its ten year history. He is a member of the Sons of Confederate Veterans and has received the Jefferson Davis Gold Medal for his contributions to the Southern Cause.

It is interesting and troubling to discover how these different groups tie in together

[RachelB]

And here is the fine faculty for the mega-conference

[attachment=0]tools.PNG[/attachment]

I count at least 6 certified tools in that bunch of manly men. I also find it very hard to believe that a 20 year old who has only had VF-learnin' is expert to enough to lecture at a mega-conference. :roll: :roll:

**Doug Phillips is a Tool!**

So I know that they don't believe women can teach anyone, except other women and little children (i.e., the people who don't count).

But can I just comment on the blinding whiteness of those lecturers? I know it's hard to find people of color to parrot their confederate-wannabe propaganda, but MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF SHIT.

[Mary C Doates]

The word for tool in Old Norse is tól. Pronounced "tool" with a manly, Viking accent of course.

Sincerely,

An overeducated wimmen who learned old Norse while working on her dissertation.

Perfect!

Edited to add: Doug Phillips is a tool. And also a tol, with a little accent mark over the 'o' (which I don't have on my keyboard)

[thoughtful]

Lloyd Sprinkle, the confederate book lover, is the pastor for the Servens.

http://servenclan.blogspot.com/2006/05/ ... tions.html

On a humorous note, there is a older gentleman on facebook with the name Lloyd Sprinkle who is not the man speaking at the event. I found a facebook photo of the older man in his undershirt, socks and underwear-all white holding a tiny guitar. :lol: It was NOT pastor Sprinkle but for a moment I was very confused.

There's also this guy:

http://www.justmugshots.com/alabama/bal ... y/13606994

I wonder if, when Dougie first met pastor Sprinkle, he said "Sprinkle? Really? Your name is Sprinkle? Are you into . . . water sports?" and ran away giggling.

[twin2]

[slickcat79]

I know it's just another element of toolishness, but if Dougie is so sooper speshul and set-apart and of-the-world-but-not-in-it, I wish he'd quit freeloading off popular culture with his lectures and dress-up parties. The Great Gatsby and Thor 2 are out this year, and Dougie just happens to be doing conference topics about vikings and the roaring twenties. Subtle :?

I'm also glad I actually visited the website. The pic of Dougie in his frilly cravat is not to be missed :lol:

[Abby_B]

We could ask Peter Bradrick

By the way, why isn't Bradrick among the speakers? Has Doug found a new intern to help him hunt for anaconda and go on manly, sweaty romps with him?

Maybe Kelly is expecting another baby and Peter is actually staying home to avoid dragging her along on another trip and almost killing her.

[DomWackTroll]

There's also this guy:

http://www.justmugshots.com/alabama/bal ... y/13606994

I wonder if, when Dougie first met pastor Sprinkle, he said "Sprinkle? Really? Your name is Sprinkle? Are you into . . . water sports?" and ran away giggling.

Hey, you try running a three-legged race with a blindfolded, six-year-old girl who just "overdid it" at High Tea! Wait... Surely you're not suggesting something sodomitic?!

[thoughtful]

Hey, you try running a three-legged race with a blindfolded, six-year-old girl who just "overdid it" at High Tea! Wait... Surely you're not suggesting something sodomitic?!

Never! ;)

But, I'm sure Doug would agree with General Jack D. Ripper:

iAHJCPoWCC8

Those bodily fluids are precious!

[Mary C Doates]

We could ask Peter Bradrick

By the way, why isn't Bradrick among the speakers? Has Doug found a new intern to help him hunt for anaconda and go on manly, sweaty romps with him?

Maybe Bradrick! is busy managing a crisis. Oh, wait...

[twin2]

Maybe Kelly is expecting another baby and Peter is actually staying home to avoid dragging her along on another trip and almost killing her.

Are you drunk?

[penguinagogo]

Im glad I wasnt the only one seeing this

[Anxious Girl]

2000 years ago A.D: (C.E is for unpatriotic traitorous atheists + Creationism!) Polynesians and Russians came to America, Canada and the Hawaiian islands. Because of this, they aren't native to north America.

1492: Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue. Who cares about the English colony of Roanoke, Vikings besides Leif Ericson who came here (he doesn't count because he wasn't Christian!), the ancient Polynesians and Russians who came before? C.C's the only Roman Catholic I admire because he was considered the 1st Christian to discover 'Murica! Only Christians' achievments count in this country! And he's the only Roman Catholic exception. Only Evangelicals and Puritans are Christians. Baptists can join the club, too.

1607: Disney's Pocahontas! For children ages 13 + because of battle scenes!

1691: A non-Christian black slave/evil magical negro/PC version: A black Caribbean slave from Barbados and a couple of old sluts/rebels/old slutty divorcees elderly ladies who didn't make their husbands happy divorced because of this elderly widows whose husbands died and girls who danced in a Satanic ritual were influenced by the Devil. Because of this, God punished them by having the rebelling people accuse the innocent and have judges to order them to be hanged. This is what happens when you disobey the old testament! God works in mysterious ways, so we don't know if they ended up in Heaven or hell.

1776: The American Revolutionary War! God intervened because He realized that England wasn't Godly enough; so He decided to seperate us from England with Godly soldier boys!

Mid-19th Century: The American Civil War. There was no war of succession. It was a war of states' rights. It was NOT a war of the south wanting to become its own country with states' rights disguised as rights to own other people! The American Underground Railroad is a myth created by Satan that is taught by atheists and liberals today to challenge your beliefs!

1920's: The beginning of the dissolving American institution the family. It started with short flapper dresses, devil music was in its early stages: blues, jazz and rock and roll music which were created by American black people (only old white European wholesome Christian music for us!) Luckily, the media back then was a lot more Christian, except for horror movies. People smoked! Alchol was illegal. 8-)

1930's: The Great Depression. This happened because the American institution, the family, was slowly dissolving in the 20's. It was God's punishment upon us for this.

1940's: WW2 and the Holocaust. :( To fulfill God's prophecy of the end times, Israel was created at the end of the 40's. Hey, even though we don't want Jews in positions of power and in charge of companies, we still need them for the appoclypse.

1950's: I have a fetish for this time period because this was America was wholesome. Chaperone dates, girls become married in their late teens, divorce was frowned upon, massive segregation, no illegal immigrants, people were proud of their 2nd American rights, there weren't rights to kill babies, there was prayer before school and ladies acted how they were SUPPOSED to act! My misogynstic ego misses it. :(

1960's: The age of the hippies brought us drugs and sex in public! Drugs weren't massively available before illegally in 'Murica! Black Christians finally got their rights! Another good Roman Catholic, Robert F Kennedy, was assassinated. :(

1970's: Baby-killing began for the 1st time in 'Murica. :(

1980's: Good 'ol Reagan. My only God-appointed idol. :D

1990's: UnGodly media keeps coming up!

2000's: Evil Muslims attack us! We must fight back! 1st black non-Christian president. :(

2010's: Preparing for the Holy Righteous Quiverful Christian Revolution of America! Send us $ for your soldier spawn to be indoctrinated by our products for you precious blessings to be educated the old-fashioned American Christian way at V.F! :D

[Arete]

Nice summary, but you may want to drop the bits about the ancient Russians. The Russians didn't start putting colonial outposts in Alaska until the 18th century. They aren't even a unified kingdom until around 1000 CE.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

[Anxious Girl]

Nice summary, but you may want to drop the bits about the ancient Russians. The Russians didn't start putting colonial outposts in Alaska until the 18th century. They aren't even a unified kingdom until around 1000 CE.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

I'm talking about the Ice Age, when Asians started crossing the ice bridge from Asia and Russia to Alaska and Canada. Thanks for the info! The more you learn! ;) I made it 2000 years ago because according to the Tool, nothing important happened before Ramses II made the Jews slaves in the Bible (I'm not sure if history supports this or not) besides Israel, Israel, Israel!

[YPestis]

I'm actually kind of wanting to catch a glimpse of their history conference. So much to snark on. It's like a snarking buffet!

On a side note, did anyone notice a few young faces? One of the Phillips boys is on the roster and he doesn't look old enough to be giving lectures to grown adults. I know they are all into the patriarchy thing so no one of the female gender is allowed on stage, but it's ridiculous that this young man's mother, who probably homeschooled him until a few years ago, is not considered qualified to head a conference session, yet the son, who seems barely out of school himself, can do so? Then again, how much education and publications do you really need when you're just making up stuff as you go?

[teachergirl]

These make me laugh..."take back" your history??? They are the ones rewriting it!

On a side note, did anyone check out the prices? 495 for a Family Pass, 110 a night at the hotel plus food and traveling costs!!!! How in the world do these families afford this? Or is it only the right families they want? Will the Mortons, Servens, Sanders attend? The hotel rooms only fit four to a room so with the large familes they would need at least two??? It is shocking how suckered these people get into paying for the lifestyle of the Phillips family.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Nice summary, but you may want to drop the bits about the ancient Russians. The Russians didn't start putting colonial outposts in Alaska until the 18th century. They aren't even a unified kingdom until around 1000 CE.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

Sorry to nitpick further, but strictly speaking there are no "ancient Russians", only ancient Slavs. "Russia" isn't really a thing until much later.

[Anxious Girl]

Sorry to nitpick further, but strictly speaking there are no "ancient Russians", only ancient Slavs. "Russia" isn't really a thing until much later.

Thanks for the info! :D