GOOD NEWS! It's impossible for a man to rape his wife

[snuggles911]

Did you know that it's impossible for a man to rape his wife? I didn't either until I read it on the alphagameplan.blogspot.com blog today.

 

The blogger, Vox, an advocate of "male game" (whatever that means) has a blog post entitled: On Misogyny. In it he debates a female poster who complained about misogynist statements on another blog. Here's a sample of his logic:

 

Marital rape doesn’t exist, not because of any essential ownership, but because consent has been given. One can no more give and withdraw consent within a marriage than one can lose and regain one’s virginity or join and quit the Army at will. If you are not giving consent by marrying someone, then your husband or wife has no more sexual claim on you than anyone else on the planet.

 

His commentators rushed in to support him. One called anonymous wrote:

 

It's also said a man can get sex outside of marriage. Some, perhaps even many, can. But sex outside marriage can be fleeting and transient, and ultimately unpredictable and unreliable. It's also not morally acceptable for the Christian man.

 

This is why up until the middle part of the 20th century most US states had no laws outlawing marital rape. A woman under those laws was held to give standing consent to sex to her husband. He was entitled to sex from his wife, and she was required to provide it to him.

 

Now, we have told men that they are not entitled even to the most fundamental building block of marriage, its raison d'etre for a man, and its sine qua non for a man -- sex. We've told men that they can't expect sex from a wife at reasonable intervals. So even this one thing, this one benefit, that a man gets from marriage, he is now being told he has no right to it.

 

Scary stuff considering his blog has gotten over 1.5 million hits.

[GeoBQn]

I read the title of the thread in the voice of Professor Farnsworth from Futurama. Also, is there anything else in life that supposedly requires one "yes" to stand in for a lifetime of "yesses?"

[salex]

The thing is, he is making up a lot of crap about both consent and rape. First off, saying yes when you get married should not over ride being able to say "not now" " or "later" at pretty much any time you want or need to say "not now" or "later." Sexless marriages can happen both because a wife is avoiding sex OR because a husband is avoiding sex, so his argument that the whole reason men marry is for sex " its raison d'etre for a man, and its sine qua non for a man -- sex. " is not universal. And what an insult to men to suppose the only reason they marry is for sex!

Not to mention, he apparently ignores or defends the idea that violent rape of a spouse should just count as marital rape and makes no mention of the possibility that such a thing exists, which is the main reason that marital rape laws came into existance.

[DifferentGurl]

Please excuse me while I hit my head against the wall to the point I knock myself out because of how stupid the blog post is. :angry-banghead:

A man can rape his wife, you idiot ( talking about the blog poster, not the FreeJingerites )! It does happen! Stop living in denial!

[VaSportsMom]

As the mother of two boys (17 & nearly 13) if I ever heard either of them spouting such offensive nonsense I would be sorely tempted to knock some sense into them and I've never laid a hand on either of my kids (or any other).

[RosyDaisy]

This makes me physically ill! Marriage does not entitle a man to sex.

[doggie]

So can the wife take a dildo to the man anytime she wants? ??? I mean he has given consent right?

[Hane]

Now, we have told men that they are not entitled even to the most fundamental building block of marriage, its raison d'etre for a man, and its sine qua non for a man -- sex. We've told men that they can't expect sex from a wife at reasonable intervals. So even this one thing, this one benefit, that a man gets from marriage, he is now being told he has no right to it.

Yup--the bonin'. It's the ONE AND ONLY benefit a man gets from marriage. Good to know.

[VaSportsMom]

Yup--the bonin'. It's the ONE AND ONLY benefit a man gets from marriage. Good to know.

If that is the only benefit my husband is due then I'm so done with this cooking, cleaning and being nice to his brother crap. I'm gonna have so much more time to play World of Warcraft, FarmVille and Criminal Case now!

[Flossie]

Well, if getting married means the man gets sex any time he wants it, then I guess wives should also start waking up their spouses at 4 am and telling him "Get with it." :dance:

[MajorMajor]

If the only reason my husband married me was for sex then I want a divorce. I seriously don't understand these fundies who think that men are solely driven by sex and unable to think of anything else or to function without it. Maybe if men are so incapable of other activities they shouldn't be in charge of everything.

[freedomjesusfootball]

Yup--the bonin'. It's the ONE AND ONLY benefit a man gets from marriage. Good to know.

The only woman this guy needs to marry is a real doll.

https://www.realdoll.com/ (NSFW- naked sex dolls)

[ILoveJellybeans]

Consent isnt a one time thing. When you consent to sex with someone, you consent to that particular sex act and that doesnt mean you can have sex with them whenever you want.

Marriage isnt saying "You have the freedom to have sex with your partner whenever you want", its just a commitment between two people saying you love eachother and are entitled to all the legal benefits married couples have. Sex is still one of those things you have to consent to each time, as not everyone wants sex every minute of the day. If you married for sex, you got married for the wrong reasons and were thinking with your genitals. You might as well have bought a sex toy.

[debrand]

If there are no marital rape laws, why would any woman ever marry?

[burntnorton]

In fairness, marriage does entitle each spouse to reasonable access to sex, which is why unreasonable refusal to have sex is a fault grounds for divorce. But "unreasonable" doesn't mean only wanting sex twice a week when your spouse wants it every day. It means flat out cutting off all sex for an extended period when there is no physical reason sex is painful or impossible. And even if part of the marriage deal is providing whenever your spouse wants it, the remedy isn't to force your spouse to provide sex. It is to get divorced.

[crazyforkate]

Oh, good! I was so afraid that all the raping husbands out there would be, like, held accountable or something. That should never happen, right?

(In all seriousness: this guy needs a serious realignment of values. I hope he never has a girlfriend or wife - or, god forbid, children to raise.)

[linnea27]

I don't know what were in his wedding vows, but mine said nothing about sex whenever he felt like it.

Also? That sex doll site posted above? Creepiest thing I have ever seen in my life. *shudders*

[Anxious Girl]

Is he actually suggesting that wives are husbands' objects instead of human beings? What an ass. :angry-cussingblack:

[Boltingmadonna]

Well, that's interesting. Maybe this ferschlugginer attitude explains why MRAs don't really believe a woman can be raped unless she's a virgin in a long skirt and head covering. Because once a woman consents to any kind of sex, she loses her right to say no ever. Once she's had sex with some other man, the MRA feels she is just a slut who unfairly refuses to be HIS slut. Thus he feels righteous and entitled, instead of guilty, when he puts her in her place by raping her.

[Claddagh]

I find it very disturbing that we're in the year 2013 and we're still having to discuss this crap. :oops:

[Beammeup]

What a disgusting pig. I hope he doesn't have a wife and if he does, she charges him with rape.

ETA: one can quit the Army at will, only there are severe consequences. Financial penalties, incarceration, having a bad conduct discharge might happen, but if you want out it is possible. You also can quit after your contract is up whenever you want.

[salsa]

*shudder* I'm remembering my (public) high school history teacher angrily telling us about a case where a wife accused her *gasp* HUSBAND of rape! It was a first, back in the day. Being a high schooler who was incapable of being indoctri --- oops ---- trained, I could see how spousal rape was possible, but since I was too shy to assert my opinions that were contrary to those in authority, I kept my thoughts to myself.

*clink* to all those brave enough to NOT keep quiet when theirs is not the opinion of "the authorities."

[2xx1xy1JD]

I refuse to look at the actual site, sine I want to sleep tonight, but the only point with any truth is that the law used to permit marital rape. "Used to", though, is the operative term. I know the law in Canada changed in 1983.

He reminds me of my Creepiest Client Ever. At one point, the man said to me, "...I've been a good Christian husband and have kept my wedding vows since the separation, and it's been hard. Please tell [estranged wife] that I'm willing to drop the whole case if she'll have one last night with me, as husband and wife." At that point, I was speechless from shock and disgust. The next day, I called and told him that I couldn't do this - if she wanted to have sex with him, they could have sex, but I couldn't link it to a court case. "But that's the problem" he replied, "she won't sleep with me without this as an incentive". Now, this case had been particularly nasty [he was willing to do anything to take away the kids or get her locked up], so sex under that condition would have amounted to rape. I couldn't get over the fact that this creep was trying to impress me with his "good Christian" act while asking me to extort sex from his wife.

[Full enough quiver]

I was taught growing up that sex is a wife's marital duty, and that a good wife never deprived her husband. I never said no to my husband. One time he hurt me, and I didn't say anything, but he noticed that I was crying. My husband was so upset. He felt like a terrible person. That night he held me and we talked. He insisted that I need to say no if I didn't want something, that he can take no for an answer. To be honest, I still don't tell him no, but I don't want to tell him no. Sometimes I even initiate ;) I think the "never say no" doctrine is extremely harmful to both parties. I definitely think neither party should deprive the other out of spite, but no means no, married or not.

[LadyBlue]

MRA's are such....idiots. They have a lot in common with fundies, too. Both groups would probably be horrified by that, but deep down, their philosophies all boil down to pretty much the same thing: women are what's wrong with the world and need to be controlled.

Personally, I wish both groups could be sent off in a rocket somewhere, but the children don't deserve it.

manboobz.blogspot.com records and mocks numerous bits of MRA fuckery, if anyone needs another internet time sink.