Larissa & Ian's Story More Public & Secular?

[0 kids n not countin]

I found this post curious. I wonder why she wants their story to be more public and secular? Monetary purposes maybe? :think: A "secular" audience may not be as understanding as her "Christian" audience & the audience of the "cult-type" person (forget who it is off hand) that she and Ian follow. Any thoughts from other FJers?

whirlwind

it's times like this that i wish i had a whole stockpile of pre-written blog posts that i could choose at random. but, fortunately or unfortunately, i am too normal for that and so we have days without posts.

ian is still working so hard at walking. his therapist likes him to stand one hour each night in addition to walking and all of the therapies he has throughout the day.

[b]if you think of us, please pray for wisdom and discretion for decisions that we have coming our way about taking our story more public and more secular.[/b]

thank you, always

i&l

[HeckBound]

From posts she's made in the past couple of months about difficult conversations she and Ian have had, I think she's getting tired of life in an addition off her in-laws home. Greater exposure might bring in more cash, allowing them to move out.

Her story makes me sad.

[Ex 2x2]

Probably they want to take it "secular" to share the gospel with the heathens.

[Mela99]

Link? Never heard of these two. Anybody have a quick 411?

[ThatSnark]

My guess is that she has an editor pushing her to cut the religious tone down so that a larger share of the book-buying market would pick this up; there's probably some marketing person at the publisher fretting that the book will go to remainders if they don't appeal to a broader market. It's hard for me to see how their story would even make sense out of the religious context, frankly; it's going to look creepy and coerced if all she can point to is her deceased father-in-law as an impetus to go through with the wedding.

Mela99: prayforian.com

These two were dating, Ian had a near-fatal car wreck that left him with a traumatic brain injury and partial paralysis, Ian's dad saw him through it until he died of cancer, and Larissa felt responsible for continuing to look after Ian. The blog is very depressing despite her intention to remain upbeat; it's not hard to read between the lines to see how sad their situation is. She knew it going in, but it's still really sad.

[Mela99]

.... wow. So she married him? Is he all there mentally? That sounds like such a mean question, but I'm just curious what she deals with. I can't really tell, but what kind of fundie-ism do they subscribe to?

I feel like a snotball for saying this, but I wonder what that "oh hey, God will provide for everything if something happens to your husband" woman would have to say about this. Something DID happen to her husband. And she apparently does it all.

[bionicmlle]

When I read her post last night my thought was that the publisher for her book she is working on has an idea to write it for a wider audience. Their video got so many hits, I suspect that the publisher wants to reach more buyers - they are likely pushing Larissa to ease up on the God crap.

[ThatSnark]

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=12238&hilit=larissa

I think that's the first post on here about them. Her blog leaves me with way more questions than answers.

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

She seems depressed recently. I wonder if she now realises he won't improve & this.is.her.life

That would sux

I'm a registered nurse & I am burnt out after 4 shifts in a row-need my 3 days off! I wouldn't wonder if Larissa is burnt out.

[ThatSnark]

Something, somewhere in the blog led me to think that they have a family member who stays with him during the day while she goes out to work at a bank, but I wonder if that's no longer the case since their move? Is she still working, or are they with the family full time while she writes?

I'm a medical social worker and spent a lot of time working with caregivers-- but the caregivers I worked with were largely managing end-of-life care that went out a few years at most, not facing decades of dependency. I cannot imagine how to approach coping with this situation and have to keep reminding myself that she willingly went into this. That's what blows my mind. The families I've worked with had years of happy, healthy history behind them to draw on as a reserve when things got tough, and that's the place I worked from, helping them reframe their relationship based on their history. These two were dating for under a year. It. does. not. make. sense.

[Dysfundamental]

They moved in with his mother and siblings, so I assume his brother is still doing the daytime caregiving. But maybe not. I find the whole story so sad.

[bionicmlle]

I think she quit her day-job in order to write their book full-time, which is why they are living with his mother.

[GenerationCedarchip]

My guess is that she has an editor pushing her to cut the religious tone down so that a larger share of the book-buying market would pick this up; there's probably some marketing person at the publisher fretting that the book will go to remainders if they don't appeal to a broader market. It's hard for me to see how their story would even make sense out of the religious context, frankly; it's going to look creepy and coerced if all she can point to is her deceased father-in-law as an impetus to go through with the wedding.

Mela99: prayforian.com

These two were dating, Ian had a near-fatal car wreck that left him with a traumatic brain injury and partial paralysis, Ian's dad saw him through it until he died of cancer, and Larissa felt responsible for continuing to look after Ian. The blog is very depressing despite her intention to remain upbeat; it's not hard to read between the lines to see how sad their situation is. She knew it going in, but it's still really sad.

oh no. That is really sad. I work with families of folks who are disabled/incapacitated for a variety of reasons (Down Syndrome, autism, brain injury, dementia, etc...) and I've seen a few cases where folks have ended up basically signing on for what will be decades of caregiving. I think there's a combination of guilt and also a naivete about how utterly consuming it can be. Sadly, I've never seen it end well. This one bothers me not because of anything fundie, but just because it's so depressing.

[HeckBound]

Their wedding video is online somewhere...I watched it once and it killed me. She's a young, attractive bright woman who spends an inordinate amount of time talking about how she can't wait until they're both in heaven and "healed". I never see her mention her own parents...if that were my daughter I'd be terribly concerned.

[lilwriter85]

Here's the link to the wedding video.

youtube.com/watch?v=AEBzPi2GbkI

I do feel bad for Larissa. She was largely pressured by Ian's dad into marriage. IIRC she had to get some of kind of court order for the marriage to happen. I haven't kept up with her blog lately. There were postings several months back that hinted at depression. I believe she had some kind of business related job.

[lilwriter85]

]My guess is that she has an editor pushing her to cut the religious tone down so that a larger share of the book-buying market would pick this up; there's probably some marketing person at the publisher fretting that the book will go to remainders if they don't appeal to a broader market. It's hard for me to see how their story would even make sense out of the religious context, frankly; it's going to look creepy and coerced if all she can point to is her deceased father-in-law as an impetus to go through with the wedding.

Mela99: prayforian.com

These two were dating, Ian had a near-fatal car wreck that left him with a traumatic brain injury and partial paralysis, Ian's dad saw him through it until he died of cancer, and Larissa felt responsible for continuing to look after Ian. The blog is very depressing despite her intention to remain upbeat; it's not hard to read between the lines to see how sad their situation is. She knew it going in, but it's still really sad.

I'm also guessing that as well. In the past few there have been several books about overcoming tragedy and adversity with a religious tone. Yesterday one of the bloggers I follow talked about Lauren Scruggs' book. Lauren is the model who had an accident with propeller blade and lost her hand and eye. I didn't know Lauren had come out with a book last November. The book is probably doing well in Christian circles. Another example is Mormon blogger Stephanie Nielson's book about recovering from burns after a plane crash. These types of books do sell well in devout religious circles, but not in mainstream circles. I'm a bit tempted to read Lauren's book because she seems likable. Years ago, when I was religious, I read a book written by 9/11 widow Lisa Beamer. Lisa's husband Todd was on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania and was apart of the plan to attack the hijackers. Lisa and Todd were devoutly religious and they attended Wheaton College. I remember Lisa's book wasn't overtly religious. I think she and her editor cut down on the religious tone specifically to market the book to a wider audience.

I agree with you on the story not making sense outside of a religious context. I can see many mainstream Christians seeing that Ian's dad largely pressured Larissa into marrying Ian. I think many would have understood if Larissa didn't marry Ian. I think some of more devoutly religious people would have issues.

[ThatSnark]

Yes-- I can't imagine being an editor and having to somehow spin "we are both waiting to die so that we can be healthy together in heaven" as anything positive or uplifting. Without the strong religious context, the whole story is horrific, and with it, it sounds like the result spiritual abuse on the part of Ian's deceased father.

Heckbound pointed out that Larissa's family is not visible on the blog. It makes me wonder if they are unable to support her decision to live this way.

Interesting article on spiritual authority I found on a quick search about her parents (turned up nothing): http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/06/15/ ... d-agendas/

Not breaking the link because it's Wartburg Watch.

[lilwriter85]

Yes-- I can't imagine being an editor and having to somehow spin "we are both waiting to die so that we can be healthy together in heaven" as anything positive or uplifting. Without the strong religious context, the whole story is horrific, and with it, it sounds like the result spiritual abuse on the part of Ian's deceased father.

Heckbound pointed out that Larissa's family is not visible on the blog. It makes me wonder if they are unable to support her decision to live this way.

Interesting article on spiritual authority I found on a quick search about her parents (turned up nothing): http://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/06/15/ ... d-agendas/

Not breaking the link because it's Wartburg Watch.

Good points there. I think with Larissa's family, maybe they reluctantly support her. This might sound cruel of me, but I wouldn't a want a relative or a friend of mine to be pressured into doing something like Larissa did.

[sugarloaf]

I'm really surprised that there seems to be fundamentalist support for this. That they're trying to spin this into him being in charge when he really cannot possibly be. If I were trying to promote a model of the world of leaders and helpmeets, I'd be seriously dissociating from all of this.

[Letgo]

They moved in with his mother and siblings, so I assume his brother is still doing the daytime caregiving. But maybe not. I find the whole story so sad.

Ian has more than one brother, but the one who came over in the morning to get Ian showered and dressed is no longer in the area. He and his wife moved away because of some health issue she has, IIRC. Larissa has mentioned that Ian cannot be left alone safely, so perhaps that is part of the reason they moved in with his mom. She can be there while Larissa is at work and there may be other siblings in the home. I know Ian has a sister who is still pretty young-maybe around 9 or 10 now?

[Dysfundamental]

Thanks, Letgo. I was keeping up to date with them, but I found it so sad that I fell way behind.

I totally agree with the Wartburg Watch article. I think they are being exploited by the Sovereign Grace folks.

[lilwriter85]

I'm really surprised that there seems to be fundamentalist support for this. That they're trying to spin this into him being in charge when he really cannot possibly be. If I were trying to promote a model of the world of leaders and helpmeets, I'd be seriously dissociating from all of this.

I think part of the reason they have gained fundamentalist support is because Larissa stayed with Ian and married him. They view her as a caregiver/helpmeet who didn't leave behind the man that was planning to marry her. Ian was planning to propose before the accident. I think they also get a good amount of support from evangelical and mainstream Christian types.

[Guest Anonymous]

I think part of the reason they have gained fundamentalist support is because Larissa stayed with Ian and married him. They view her as a caregiver/helpmeet who didn't leave behind the man that was planning to marry her. Ian was planning to propose before the accident. I think they also get a good amount of support from evangelical and mainstream Christian types.

It's deeply ironic that the same types of people who do not allow grown men and women to touch before their wedding day, to preserve their purity just in case the event is called off, should consider Larissa to have a lifelong obligation to a man who was only at the "planning to propose" stage before his accident. :shock:

[Dinorah]

I don't see, honestily, how they can make their story appealing to a non-fundie audience. It might have been different if they had been already married before the accident, but I don't see how you can remove from the equation that she married someone without an adult's mental capacity--that's creepy, creepy, even without Ian's father's pressure in the picture.

[sugarloaf]

I don't see, honestily, how they can make their story appealing to a non-fundie audience. It might have been different if they had been already married before the accident, but I don't see how you can remove from the equation that she married someone without an adult's mental capacity--that's creepy, creepy, even without Ian's father's pressure in the picture.

That's why I'm surprised about people wanting to push this. I just don't see how they can spin this into looking anything other than coercive and tragic- a PR hit for them.