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0 kids n not countin

Larissa & Ian's Story More Public & Secular?

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Flossie

I don't think I'd read her book, it sounds like it will be incredibly depressing. Has she ever hinted at anything fun or amusing?

Any hope for Ian's recovery? I thought there was a set amount of time for a brain injured person to recover and after that, what you see is what you have forever.

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ThatSnark

I had dessert last night with a friend who's a published book author, and I gently prodded info from her about the process. Like Larissa, she had a contract to write a book, so here's how it went down:

They signed a contract with a series of deadlines based on the outline the author submitted. So 20% is due by this date, 40% by this date, finished by this date, revisions by the final date. Tons of conditions apply on the part of the editor, including complete editorial control. What happened is that the author would turn in her piece, the editor would go over it and request revisions or complete rewrites, and that would have to be done while the additional writing was going on. Kind of stressful. At one point, my friend checked herself into a hotel for a week to get caught up without distractions, when the editor nixed an entire section and put her weeks behind schedule. Anyway, I understand a lot more how a book written under contract happens now, as opposed to writing your magnum opus and shopping it around. This sounds like a blog-to-book deal which is really popular in publishing these days.

Pure conjecture, but it sounds as though Larissa turned in a portion of the writing to the editor, who may have had the needle-scratch reaction to all that Jesus, and asked her to tone it the hell down so that a casual reader could somehow relate. I am still failing to see how going secular with this story would make this relationship even slightly palatable for a reader.

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lilwriter85

I looked at one of her postings from July where she said had a few publishers interested in their story. I wonder if Larissa was submitting/inquiring to Christian publishers in addition to secular publishers. Christian publishers churn out a lot "overcoming tragedy or adversity" books out each year. It might possible that Christian publishers found their a story a bit depressing and they might have seen what Ian's father did. I mentioned Lauren Scruggs' book in a previous post and I've seen other Christian books on the market similar to Lauren's story. I remember Kristen Anderson, the young woman who lost her legs when tried to commit suicide on train tracks released a book with a Christian theme. Nick Vuijcic, the congenital amputee who is an Evangelist has a released a couple of books. I think Lauren, Kristen, and Nick their stories are partially marketable because their disabilities are just physical and not mental.

I'm not trying to be cruel, but I can see both secular and Christian publishers have trouble trying to market Larissa's book. Ian has a severe brain injury and he doesn't have the capacity of an adult. Let's say in an alternate scenario, Ian only suffered a spinal cord injury from the accident and was paralyzed. Larissa married him despite the paralysis. Publishers would have an easier time marketing a book about that type of situation.

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rward

Being partially disabled and married to someone who is partially, and somewhat unpredictably, disabled (MS, it's exciting!), I find regular "Disabled Person Overcomes Odds" books to be . . . frustrating. This is just bleak. I can't see what you can sell here. She doesn't sound depressed, she sounds suicidal.

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punkiepie

I read this thread yesterday and the whole story stayed in head all night. I do think that the religious patriarchal spinning of their lives is just wrong. But I started thinking about Larissa and her life and I'm not sure she had many other options other than to marry Ian. After the accident, she moved in with his family and helped care for him for 4 years before they got engaged and married. So his Dad basically tells her to shit or get off the pot- get married or move on. If she had moved on- what would it have been to? The accident happened their senior year of college- did she graduate? Even if she did- her life is very wrapped up in her SGM church. So if she decided to leave him and move on- who would it have been to? I'm sure if she had left him, it would have been a big deal in their church and she would not have been looked at as good mate for another guy. And this sounds bad, but what guy at their crazy church- where his family is also super involved- would have gone after the girl who "abandoned" her disabled boyfriend after living with him for 4 years? Any guy would have been shunned and his family would be shamed by SGM. (TWW has the best analysis and write-ups of the crazy that is SGM.) The only real way she would have had a shot a normal life, getting married and having babies, would have been if Ian had died or if she moved far away and left SGM. But where would she have gone after she had just dedicated the last four years of her life to caring for Ian? By marrying him, at least she had the hope that he might get better. And also, this is horrible, maybe the hope that he would die and she would have done her duty, making her eligible for a real husband again. I'm sure there is still a part of her that hopes and wishes he'll wake up one day and he'll be "normal" again. Each small improvement and new milestone that he makes is probably keeping her hanging on to that tiny bit of hope.

I think Larissa was in an impossible situation that was made worse by her close connection with SGM and her world being wrapped up in her SGM church family. It's easy for us to look at her decision and see all the problems associated with it, but in reality, I don't think she had a choice. In a normal world, Ian's parents would have told her to move on, would have made her move on. They should have gone to the pastor of their SGM church and explained their position and had him counsel her to move on. If she had had the support of his family and her church family, I think she may have had a chance at a happy life. But since that wasn't the case, since no one was looking out for her best interests, she was trapped.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy

Good post pumpkin pie. I think your on to something there.

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lilwriter85

I also like your post punkiepie. On the topic of Larissa and kids. I thought it was strange when she wrote on their blog that she was thinking about adoption. I hate to say this but I don't think they would pass a homestudy.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy
I also like your post punkiepie. On the topic of Larissa and kids. I thought it was strange when she wrote on their blog that she was thinking about adoption. I hate to say this but I don't think they would pass a homestudy.

What?! Where? Link?

I don't know how lax it is in the US but it would be really hard in Australia

Maybe she should just do IVF if he can't perform & she wants a baby (bad idea but easier for her than adoption I'd think??

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Guest Anonymous

Larissa has updated the post with:

(To clarify, we are not making our story secular but rather are considering a few secular mediums/outlets to deliver our story.)

I think that would open a world of grief for her.

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lilwriter85

What?! Where? Link?

I don't know how lax it is in the US but it would be really hard in Australia

Maybe she should just do IVF if he can't perform & she wants a baby (bad idea but easier for her than adoption I'd think??

Here's the link.

prayforian.blogspot.com/2012/07/mini-ian-someday.html

maybe next year. maybe we'll have biological children, or maybe we'll adopt

When I read that several months back, I scratched my head. Maybe Larissa has no clue about how difficult adopting can be. Several years ago, I watch a documentary on Discovery about adoptions. One American couple profiled adopted from South America because they had difficulties adopting domestically because the husband was in a wheelchair. The husband was paralyzed as a teenager. He and his wife were planning to have a family with IVF, but it was discovered that the wife was infertile. They got rejected by American agencies and then were later advised to try international adoption. This couple was much more stable than Ian and Larissa. The husband did most of his own care and also worked. He also helped with the baby.

I can easily see American and international agencies easily rejecting Ian and Larissa. Ian is both physically and emotionally disabled and needs assistance 24/7. If an agency was to interview or have a homestudy done with them, they would be probably be asking themselves the same things we do about Ian and Larissa's past in regards to the father-in-law and the marriage. Maybe they could try private adoptions, I can see birth moms not feeling comfortable with them.

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chef

I kind of knew them IRL. It's just tragic... I wish she had cut and run before getting married. If she had just left the bubble that is western PA it would have been fine. No one would have blamed her at all outside of that immediate church/family circle, and certainly not her own family. SGM is widely regarded in that area as a crazy church.

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Beeks
I kind of knew them IRL. It's just tragic... I wish she had cut and run before getting married. If she had just left the bubble that is western PA it would have been fine. No one would have blamed her at all outside of that immediate church/family circle, and certainly not her own family. SGM is widely regarded in that area as a crazy church.

More details please! How do you know them? Did her family/friends ever express concerns to her?

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lilwriter85

I hope chef comes back. I have read a few other links in addition to wartburg watch about the debate of SGM being a cult.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy
I kind of knew them IRL. It's just tragic... I wish she had cut and run before getting married. If she had just left the bubble that is western PA it would have been fine. No one would have blamed her at all outside of that immediate church/family circle, and certainly not her own family. SGM is widely regarded in that area as a crazy church.

Hi chef-welcome to FJ!

Do you know what most people who knew her situation thought of her marrying Ian?

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Nootbar
I kind of knew them IRL. It's just tragic... I wish she had cut and run before getting married. If she had just left the bubble that is western PA it would have been fine. No one would have blamed her at all outside of that immediate church/family circle, and certainly not her own family. SGM is widely regarded in that area as a crazy church.

So sad.

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Waffle Time
Mela99

I just had a complete WHOA! moment going over their blog/story/Google again - couldn't figure out why their faces reminded me of someone.

I went to school with these two! They met at IUP - Indiana University of Pennsylvania, my alma mater, in 2005. I was there then, too. Larissa and I might have even been in the same dorm... I facebooked her and we have a few mutual friends, all of which were dormmates...

/Random/felt like sharing.

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lilwriter85
I just had a complete WHOA! moment going over their blog/story/Google again - couldn't figure out why their faces reminded me of someone.

I went to school with these two! They met at IUP - Indiana University of Pennsylvania, my alma mater, in 2005. I was there then, too. Larissa and I might have even been in the same dorm... I facebooked her and we have a few mutual friends, all of which were dormmates...

/Random/felt like sharing.

That is kind of crazy.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy

The only FJ celebs I have any change of running into is Lauren (sparkling adventures). Am jealous you know actual fundies!

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Waffle Time
Mela99

I feel like such a shmuck, but I kinda want to nose around now... they still live in the Indiana-ish area. I have a lot of friends there still. It's only an hour from my hometown.

Damn. Why do I find this out AFTER moving to Michigan?

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Emme

Most countries wouldn't allow them to adopt because of Ian's disability. I know China and Ukraine would both be out. If Russia ever opens again, that's out too.

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Milly-Molly-Mandy
I feel like such a shmuck, but I kinda want to nose around now... they still live in the Indiana-ish area. I have a lot of friends there still. It's only an hour from my hometown.

Damn. Why do I find this out AFTER moving to Michigan?

Ask friends about it? Hmm bad decision to move ;)

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lilwriter85
I feel like such a shmuck, but I kinda want to nose around now... they still live in the Indiana-ish area. I have a lot of friends there still. It's only an hour from my hometown.

Damn. Why do I find this out AFTER moving to Michigan?

Maybe just causally ask friends about Ian and Larissa? Maybe tell them that you found the blog or that video that has been circulating online.

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HeckBound

She put a post up the other day, a clip from a book she's working on. Basically it details the moment her life went to shit. I feel so bad for this girl.

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Guest Anonymous
She put a post up the other day, a clip from a book she's working on. Basically it details the moment her life went to shit. I feel so bad for this girl.

That's so sad. I feel very angry reading the fuckwit comments that just quote bible verses at her, in her grief.

She seems to be swithering in her writing between describing Ian as being "given a new label" and new definition by the accident and being "lost" [to her?]. Her pain must be so far beyond the comprehension of her average reader. I can understand them feeling powerless to help but, all the same, fuck them for riding roughshod over her with bible verses. I'm so sad for her.

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