The only Valentine the Ardnt boys will get this year

[thoughtful]

I bet when their parents die the manboys will mummify them and keep them in the house, talking to them as if they were alive.

[LaydNimue]

What are those kids doing to do when Momma Arndt gets too old to rule the roost or dies? I can easily see a documentary coming out in 30 years about them still all living together and keeping that house exactly as it was when mom was alive. And on their birthdays they'll all gather on mom and dad's bed for cake and ice cream.

Creepy...

They could very well end up like the "Ward boys", four brothers who shared a bed until they grew old and died (or was it fratricide?). They were the subject of the documentary Brother's Keeper http://www.http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/brother-keeper-article-1.272716/ . If I remember correctly, the one and only sister did marry but the brother's were uneducated, isolated eccentrics and possibly incestuous. The movie info is up on IMDb if interested and it's on Netflix. It's a really good movie and might shed some light into the simplicity and flaccid contentedness of the Arndt boys psyche.

[Chibi Author]

This family creeps me out SO much.

That said, I completely sympathize with Mary-Elizabeth as far as the looking waay younger than you are thing. I can't decide if she'll be one of those people who ages gracefully, or will be completely run down by any future children she may have.

[Karsaroni]

I don't think that they are content, just paralyzed as to how to go about changing anything. Like a woman in an abusive relationship, she doesn't want to stay but doesn't know how to go.

I think you are right. I think many do want what they feel they have... a big loving family. They definitely don't think they are abused. I think they think they have a great life... because they have no notion of anything else. It really is the ultimate form of brainwashing. And I truly don't think the parents themselves realize what they have done. They would most likely want grandchildren and more "members" of their F-d up family. It's like they ALL really feel like God will Dumbo-drop wives for their boys on their family compound.

I also honestly think that if just one boy would get the balls to move out of the house and forage his own way in life... the others would follow. Sadly at this point it's almost as if they are all just content for the status quo. I don't see anything changing in the near future.

[salex]

Someone mentioned Grey Gardens in the thread about the Botkins. I see the Arndts as very much like that, with their constant movies of themselves and some exectation that it will launch them in some way as well as the control the parents exert, etc.

[divadivine]

Isn't their little sister, 13? My daughters both just got asymmetrical haircuts. They are 14 and 16. Both girls, like the Arndt daughter, look several years younger than they are but they didn't want their hair to make them look even younger.

I was a tiny, undeveloped 13-21 year old and I never enjoyed looking like a little kid.

edited multiple times for stupid mistakes that I keep making

She turned 16 on January 5th.

[Indigo]

They could very well end up like the "Ward boys", four brothers who shared a bed until they grew old and died (or was it fratricide?). They were the subject of the documentary Brother's Keeper http://www.http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/brother-keeper-article-1.272716/ . If I remember correctly, the one and only sister did marry but the brother's were uneducated, isolated eccentrics and possibly incestuous. The movie info is up on IMDb if interested and it's on Netflix. It's a really good movie and might shed some light into the simplicity and flaccid contentedness of the Arndt boys psyche.

[debrand]

She turned 16 on January 5th.

Oh. I honestly thought she was a young looking 13 year old :oops: My 14 year old daughter looks younger than her age and she and Mary Elizabeth look to be similar ages.

[pixydust]

I think you are right. I think many do want what they feel they have... a big loving family. They definitely don't think they are abused. I think they think they have a great life... because they have no notion of anything else. It really is the ultimate form of brainwashing. And I truly don't think the parents themselves realize what they have done. They would most likely want grandchildren and more "members" of their F-d up family. It's like they ALL really feel like God will Dumbo-drop wives for their boys on their family compound.

I also honestly think that if just one boy would get the balls to move out of the house and forage his own way in life... the others would follow. Sadly at this point it's almost as if they are all just content for the status quo. I don't see anything changing in the near future.

I was thinking about the Arndt's today. I wonder if any of them make enough money to move out? I'm sure Rick is paid and then pays the employees out of that, but that has to cover all of the expenses for 16 people, so after he takes 80% of the money (that is an estimation), what does he have left to pay his sons? $100 a week, each? $200 if they are lucky? Probably not enough to move out and pay rent and utilities and have food, much less a wife and a couple of kids. They have to work for dad, but that will never give them freedom to be adults.

[Emme]

This family creeps me out SO much.

That said, I completely sympathize with Mary-Elizabeth as far as the looking waay younger than you are thing. I can't decide if she'll be one of those people who ages gracefully, or will be completely run down by any future children she may have.

I almost feel like it's safer for M-E to look young. I worry about her being the ONLY girl in her house.

[laura oz]

As a mother, I don't want to think about my little ones ever growing up, leaving home, or getting married. BUT I do want them to be happy. That's what a good mother wants for her child(ren). For THEM to be happy. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to make sure they never made a mistake or had their little hearts broken, but that kind of smothering isn't showing my children love or respecting them as individuals. It would simply make me feel better and ultimately make them emotional cripples and miserable people. I know I may have to paste a smile on my face and choke out the words I heard my own mom nearly choke on when I married my first husband "If it makes you happy then I'm happy." As long as their dad (I finally got it right with my second hubby- made my mom truly happy before she passed) and I do all we can to raise moral, upstanding, responsible, hard working, kind, and loving people we'll have to let go and trust that they will make good decisions and if they fall on their face they'll learn from it. I think that's part of the problem with the Arndt's and a lot of these cloistered fundie families. They don't trust their children or they don't trust the control they can maintain of their children if that child should separate from the family and actually have a life of their own. How claustrophobic and utterly sad to be a child of parents like that. I usually never get really personal or write something this much from my heart, but there is something about the oldest boy that seems so lonely to me and he just makes me sad. They all do really. Eh, that's my 2 cents.

edited because spaces are not letters

[LaydNimue]

[quote="DesperadoIngenue

Thank you! I've been trying to remember the name of that documentary. One of the most fascinating movies I've seen.

[Freyacat]

I swear every time I read the Arndt blog, I hear the creepy music from the shower scene in "Psycho" playing in my head.

[jockosmom]

They could very well end up like the "Ward boys", four brothers who shared a bed until they grew old and died (or was it fratricide?). They were the subject of the documentary Brother's Keeper http://www.http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/brother-keeper-article-1.272716/ . If I remember correctly, the one and only sister did marry but the brother's were uneducated, isolated eccentrics and possibly incestuous. The movie info is up on IMDb if interested and it's on Netflix. It's a really good movie and might shed some light into the simplicity and flaccid contentedness of the Arndt boys psyche.

Thank you! I've been trying to remember the name of that documentary. One of the most fascinating movies I've seen.

[mrs]

Mark especially has expressed longing for a wife but he's completely clueless about how to go about finding one that his parents would find suitable.

Can someone send Mark the link for Christian Mingle, the dating site? Seriously?

[snarkyjan]

Thank you! I've been trying to remember the name of that documentary. One of the most fascinating movies I've seen.

Oh, what a creepy story! I had never heard of these "boys" before. Thanks for posting. The Arndt manboys circa 2043?

Makes me think of Garrison Keillor's "Norwegian bachelor farmers."

[HereticHick]

If they were southern, the "Arndt Boys" would make a great southern gothic novel. Or Truman Capote short story.

[snarkykitty]

Why would they say "it was weird having someone who’s not insulted by that" (calling a hairstyle "girly")?

A. I don't know any woman or girl who would be insulted if someone referred to their ornate braided and adorned hairstyle as "girly", because it's a very feminine look.

B. Do they know many people who are "insulted" by the word "girly"??

[Morton Fan]

Why would they say "it was weird having someone who’s not insulted by that" (calling a hairstyle "girly")?

A. I don't know any woman or girl who would be insulted if someone referred to their ornate braided and adorned hairstyle as "girly", because it's a very feminine look.

B. Do they know many people who are "insulted" by the word "girly"??

My take was that because they're usually surrounded by so many males, it was surprising to be able to use the term "girly" without it being taken as an insult.

[snarkykitty]

My take was that because they're usually surrounded by so many males, it was surprising to be able to use the term "girly" without it being taken as an insult.

Ahh, thank you! I thought that it was a slap regarding the alleged "de-feminization" of modern women.

[Morton Fan]

Ahh, thank you! I thought that it was a slap regarding the alleged "de-feminization" of modern women.

I think your brain is a bit complex for the Arndts. A good rule of thumb is to read everything they write as if it's being babbled by a five-year-old. ;)

[debrand]

Ahh, thank you! I thought that it was a slap regarding the alleged "de-feminization" of modern women.

I think that it also speaks to how isolated these boys/men are.

[laura oz]

I think your brain is a bit complex for the Arndts. A good rule of thumb is to read everything they write as if it's being babbled by a five-year-old. ;)

I know I'm going to hell

[debrand]

Oh, what a creepy story! I had never heard of these "boys" before. Thanks for posting. The Arndt manboys circa 2043?

Makes me think of Garrison Keillor's "Norwegian bachelor farmers."

I could also see several of them ending up like the Collyer brothers, two bachelor brothers who were found dead in their Harlem brownstone in 1947. The house was a labyrinth of old newspapers (dating back to 1918), garbage of every description and other refuse, amounting to about 125 tons. When Langley Collyer died, his brother Homer was helpless, as he was completely disabled. All he could do was sit and wait to die of starvation. Homer was found first, but it took 2 weeks to clear enough of the refuse to find Langley/

Thank you for suggesting this movie. I started a thread for it because I could imagine some of our fundies turning into the Ward brothers.

[So Many Lies]

As a mother, I don't want to think about my little ones ever growing up, leaving home, or getting married. BUT I do want them to be happy. That's what a good mother wants for her child(ren). For THEM to be happy. Nothing would make me happier than to be able to make sure they never made a mistake or had their little hearts broken, but that kind of smothering isn't showing my children love or respecting them as individuals. It would simply make me feel better and ultimately make them emotional cripples and miserable people. I know I may have to paste a smile on my face and choke out the words I heard my own mom nearly choke on when I married my first husband "If it makes you happy then I'm happy." As long as their dad (I finally got it right with my second hubby- made my mom truly happy before she passed) and I do all we can to raise moral, upstanding, responsible, hard working, kind, and loving people we'll have to let go and trust that they will make good decisions and if they fall on their face they'll learn from it. I think that's part of the problem with the Arndt's and a lot of these cloistered fundie families. They don't trust their children or they don't trust the control they can maintain of their children if that child should separate from the family and actually have a life of their own. How claustrophobic and utterly sad to be a child of parents like that. I usually never get really personal or write something this much from my heart, but there is something about the oldest boy that seems so lonely to me and he just makes me sad. They all do really. Eh, that's my 2 cents.

edited because spaces are not letters

Laura, you are a good mother. And this is so true of these families. If they can't let them go despite their own interests then they aren't loving them right.