Marauding Bands Of Ninja Assassins.

[debrand]

I don't know how old the writer is so I am not snarking on him personally. I'm not really snarking on his blog either but I do want to discuss the issue of 'protecting women."

He said that, paraphrasing, if you really wanted to know if a potential son-in-law is really interested in protecting your daughter and her heart he won't tell her he's interested in her. Instead, he'll come to you first. You know, I kind of already knew this but it came home to me today. If I really did care about a girl and really did want to marry her why would I just want her attention? Of course I do lust after short lived attention and "love."

A woman-or man- who is not old enough to decide who to associate with is not mature enough to be a wife. It would not be respectful to treat me like a second class citizen who is too young or innocent to make my own choices. Those choices might mean making mistakes but you can't grow as a human if you don't make mistakes.

And even if her father isn't involved in her life I want to love her and protect her and still run it by him. Why? Well, because he should be involved in her life and he should be the man who most loves her and protects her.

Again, this is not respectful and potentially dangerous. It should not be young man's decision to talk to an estranged father. The young woman should have that much control over her life that a potential husband doesn't bypass her desires. Some of these young women don't know the man is interested until he talks to the father. So, a situation could arise where and abusive father and the man interested in her discuss the young woman without any input from her. She might not even know the discussion has taken place.

And starting a relationship with a young woman on a note where I could care less about her father is incredibly unwise. It shows that I really have no interest in protecting her. If I show that I don't care for her father up front, how am I going to treat her later?

Fundies keep discussing the need to protect a young woman. If I am being physically threatened then please do the decent thing and help me. But there are very few ninja assassins running around so, for the most part, I think that I am safe. I certainly don't need protection from everyday life or making my own decisions. :violence-uzi:

a comment on his blog

1 comments:

Emil Bandy said...

Amen to all the above... May God give us the grace and strength to follow through.

It's amazing how screwed-up our definition of 'love' is.... A young man says he 'loves' her - and yet he is not willing to honor the authority God has already placed in her life. This is not love... If he truly loved her, he would be willing to die to himself, and even if the father told him 'No' - even then, and especially then, he must continue to honor and respect the authority in her life.

So, the woman's opinion really doesn't matter

Here are a marauding band of ninja assassins to protect the women folk from.

:violence-ak47: :violence-blades: :violence-axechase: :violence-chainsaw: :violence-enforcer: :violence-fencing: :violence-guntoting: :violence-glob: :violence-hammer:

[debrand]

withoutproblemslifewouldbeboring.blogspot.com/2011/10/anothers-daughter.html

Whoops

He is at least 21

withoutproblemslifewouldbeboring.blogspot.com/2012/10/so-much-to-do.html

I'm starting to feel old. I know, old isn't exactly the word I should be using, but I look back at the last 21 years of my life and wonder what in the world I've been doing.

[happy atheist]

But there are very few ninja assassins running around so, for the most part, I think that I am safe.

Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they're not there. They're ninjas! They are made of stealth!

[debrand]

Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they're not there. They're ninjas! They are made of stealth!

Will asking my father's permission to marry me protect me from the ninjas? :violence-blades: (sorry, I love the ninja smilie)

[OkToBeTakei]

Fundie Ninjas.

[MarthaMarcyMayMarlen]

Most fundies welcome those kind of ninjas. Well, the women at least.

[DifferentGurl]

We should form our own band of ninja assassins to protect women from crazy fundie men! I'm a black belt in Tae Kwan Do and have a pair of sais at home, so I'd be willing to join!

[Childless]

If some man went and talked to my father before asking me out, that would be the end of him. I would never date someone who valued my opinion and autonomy so little. Thankfully, my husband saw me as an adult who was perfectly capable of making my own decisions. He did not ask my father if he could date me. In fact, we dated several months before he ever met a member of my family. He did not ask my father if he could marry me. He didn't even ask me if I wanted to marry him. I asked him! :D