Gay Couple - Dollywood - What would JB do? MERGED

[Kitten]

What would JB have done if this had happened during their visit to Dollywood?

 

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/201 ... ?hpt=hp_t2

 

However would he have explained it to the brood? Do you think they know that "gay" does not mean "happy and cheerful?"

[EllieCee]

I found this on the front page of Yahoo! this morning:

http://news.yahoo.com/gay-couple-asked- ... 20079.html

Thoughts on it?

[debrand]

I thought, at first, that the couple was half nude or something. Wearing a shirt that reads, marriage is so gay, doesn't seem reason to ask the woman to turn her shirt inside out.

[xDreamerx]

Gay is the new nike.

[Austin]

So people are offended by the very presense of gay people who make any statement about equality, it sounds like?

Never been to Dollywood, but certainly would not go now.

[Koala]

I posted this link on FB. The following is the response I got:

"Hav they made other people do it? If they really do have everyone with offensive tattos & shirts cover up I can see what they're saying. Gay isn't a word (son's name) is allowed to throw around, if he read that shirt he would be confused. As long as the park is following the policy for everyone it's all good. If they're targeting people though, that's different"

[Guest Anonymous]

The t-shirt in question said "Marriage is so Gay." The rationale behind making the woman turn the shirt inside out was that Dollywood is a family friendly environment. Well, gay people have families, the woman in question was there with hers, and I don't think that was very damn friendly to them.

Making someone turn a shirt inside out that has profanity on it because it's an amusement park full of kids? Okay, whatever. This? Wrong.

Gay is not a bad word.

[BlackHawk]

Dollywood spokesman Pete Owens said on Tuesday that Dollywood is open to all families, but their dress code policy is to ask people with clothing or tattoos that could be considered offensive to change clothes or cover up.

There's the answer. No, Gay is not a bad word, but how does your shirt show marriage equality? It doesn't. It is trying to turn a negative (how many people view the term gay) into a positive (reclaiming) but it is not seen by everyone as that. I am gay, and I proudly wear a shirt that says "gay" when I feel like it. Hell I even pull out my old highschool "recruiter" shirt occasionally when I want to piss people off. However, I can understand that person asking her to turn her shirt over.

I'll explain a bit more cause I don't feel like being attacked. Did that staffer know the woman was a lesbian? Did that staffer understand the context of the shirt? Could that person have thought the shirt had a different meaning (such as the standpoint that marriage is obsolete and thus should be abolished)? Does that particular staffer find the term "gay" to be offensive as a gay individual?

If their policy is across the board (and i think it is, as someone who has enjoyed dollywood) then I see nothing wrong with the staffer feeling that shirt could be taken offensive for reasons outside of this person being a lesbian.

But that's just my two cents as a gay man who actually hates the "Marriage is so Gay" shirts with a passion.

[xDreamerx]

Can we merge this with the "What Would Jim Bob Do" thread? They're the same topic.

[Kitten]

their dress code policy is to ask people with clothing or tattoos that could be considered offensive to change clothes or cover up.

Yeah, and while he was saying this, a whole parade of people are going by in skimpy swimsuits (lots of water rides) and "unfortunate" clothing choices. Nothing that would have passed the Duggars' Nike test. So should they have been asked to cover up? After all, those outfits could be "offensive" to "modest" dressers.

And therein lies the problem--who gets to choose what is "offensive"? They admitted that no one at the park had complained about the shirt; the staff person took it upon him/herself to confront the woman. Offensive means so many things to so many people that it becomes one huge slippery slope to use that as your benchmark. If they want to institute a policy that only plain clothing with no messages or images can be worn, then fine. If they treat everyone equally, I have no problem with the policy. It's the picking and choosing that irks me. Free speech applies to all, or none.

[emmiedahl]

You don't have an inalienable right to go to Dollywood. It's within their right to ask her to change even if you, me or someone else would not have.

[valsa]

Hmmm... seems weird to be because, just by looking at her, you'd think Dolly would be a huge faghag (I should note that I know absolutely nothing about Dolly Parton or her possible beliefs on homosexualty. Though she did appear on the Duggars show, which should give me a hint)

[emmiedahl]

I think Dolly is probably personally tolerant but needs to cater to a Southern conservative fan base.

[Kitten]

You don't have an inalienable right to go to Dollywood.

I agree. And if they post their guidelines at the gate and check everyone coming in, I don't have an issue. But this family had been in the park for some time before the incident occurred. No one had complained. A staff person wandering around creating an issue where there apparently wasn't one is an concern, not for me, but for them. And that was evident in the way the spokesperson was backpedaling his way through the explanations. I suspect that particular staffer will be looking for work very soon, or at the least, will find him/herself cleaning bathrooms.

And commercial operations open to the public do have some responsibility to treat all customers equally.

[blisterine]

iirc, there used to be rumors about dolly's relationship with a friend, i think her name was judy. there was some question as to whether or not they were in a sexual relationship because they always slept together on tour and dolly's poor husband was left out in the rain.

maybe the policy is simply a case of protesting too much.

i hate that people forget that "gay" is a perfectly acceptable word, as long as you mean to to describe something happy to the point of giddyness.

[deelaem]

I think Dolly Parton needs to come forward about this. It's her name on the park and she's always been very involved with it. She needs to realize that she has a HUGE gay fan base and many of them aren't going to be happy about it.

[masagoroll]

I don't think that this reflects on Dolly's personal beliefs. At least, I certainly hope not! It was probably just some random person who worked there.

I agree, she should make a statement about it, though.

[Alecto]

Interesting side story with relevance - my cousin is a teacher in a fairly progressive school with a strong GSA. The school has banned the use of "Gay" as a slur, and she and the principal were discussing this shirt issue this morning. She told me that according to the strict interpretation of the rules as part of their "Zero Tolerance Bullying" program, that shirt would not meet dress code, since it could be taken as a slur.

Not that I think that is Dollywood's POV, but it was interesting none the less.

However, a huge part of Dolly's fanbase under 50 is lesbians...

[Patsy]

We had an ESL student staying with us a few years ago. Went shopping with her one day, and a friend found a shirt that said "Homosexuals are gay", and decided to buy one. So did she. Because she thinks gay people are gross, and wanted to show it, and gay means 'bad', right? She was pleased to have the support of another person in the group reaffirming the fact that gay people are inferior. We didn't realise that was her view until we were watching a show where a gay couple danced and hugged, and she exclaimed, "That's so gay!" We all laughed - "Yes, it is!" until we realised that the use of gay as a slur was the only way she had ever heard the word used. She didn't realise it meant homosexual. A terrible indictment on our society.

[Artemis]

Interesting side story with relevance - my cousin is a teacher in a fairly progressive school with a strong GSA. The school has banned the use of "Gay" as a slur, and she and the principal were discussing this shirt issue this morning. She told me that according to the strict interpretation of the rules as part of their "Zero Tolerance Bullying" program, that shirt would not meet dress code, since it could be taken as a slur.

Not that I think that is Dollywood's POV, but it was interesting none the less.

However, a huge part of Dolly's fanbase under 50 is lesbians...

In my UK school also that would be taken as a slur - implying that marriage per se was a bad thing, and using the word 'gay' to indicate that marriage is a bad thing. Our children who use 'it's so gay' or 'you're so gay' as a pejorative term are sanctioned as strongly as for a racist slur. When I read it, I also read it not as 'gay people can get married and should be able to get married and that's right and as it should be' but in the sense that I hear children use it at school - I guess because unfortunately that's the only way we do ever hear it at school.

So my reading of the t-shirt was 'marriage is a bad thing' because that is how it would have been used around me, and used like that it would have been sanctioned.

Interesting that your cousin, who is also a teacher, had the same reaction, Alecto.

ETA No. I don't think being gay is a bad thing. Just so there is NO possibility that anyone can misread me and think that I do. I think the use of the term 'gay' as a pejorative expression is a bad thing.

[FJismyheadship]

Now let the Dolly expert speak hahaha

Dolly loves gays. One of her cousins that often helps her out while she's on tour, or at Dollywood, or even just in everyday life is gay. She is very close to him. Her book talks about several gay friends she has. I wish I had a copy of it with me, because she actually speaks about her beliefs. I want to remember it word for word, so I have to dig it up before I say for sure.

I know that when she first started getting majorly known, and she realized that men were dressing in drag, she was surprisedd. Not in a bad way, but sort of a "Oh! Hey, thats a guy! He looks pretty good!" And this IS the woman who entered a "Dolly Drag" Halloween contest and won third place haha

Anywhosits, I don't think Dolly herself would have an issue wi8th the shirt. She'd probably see the double meaning in it, and laugh.

And that is my take.