Some Fundie Royal girls getting... less fundie!? Some ex.'s

[Karsaroni]

Color me crazy, but I sort of am feeling a pendulum swinging in the land of Fundie Royals to a slightly less fundie way of life. Thanks to the beauty of Facebook and Pinterest, it's possible to really get a feel for how these Fundie (especially the unmarried ones) spend their time, their likes, how the dress, etc. And I'm definitely seeing that MANY are outwardly less frumper and more fashionable. Some examples:

Jasmine Baucham

This girl is ever the closer to bolting the fundie craziness if her FB and Pinterest is any indication of what it going on in her life/mind. She's obsessed w/ clothes and her most recent FB profile pics have her in jeans... and not baggy ones. She's dressing more fashionable, WAY shorter skirts and sleeveless tops. And what's more her FB friends (I'm assuming many are fundies themselves) are gushing over her pics and her style. Also, she seems very into Walking Dead and other very UN-fundie shows and music.

Jessica McDonald

Despite having Stacy McDonald for a mother, this girl can't stop talking about guys. Yes, she still wears her skirts but living under the same roof as her mother no doubt influences this. Why the minute she got out of the country w/ her sister Tiffany and her brother-in-law Ben, she was throwing back the Sangria and wearing jeans.

The Brantley Disharoons

To me this couple seems SO unfundie. Going out to eat all the time, baseball games, etc. I think I've seen Lindsay in jeans as well. They actually seem to have fun and again, their Pinterest and FB is telling. Lindsay even had a pic of Red Solo Cups up at one point I'm sure in reference to that Toby Keith party song. It could've just been to make fun of it, but either way just the fact she (or Brantley) HEARD of the song is interesting.

There are others, but I'm curious to see if any of you all agree w/ me? Fundies used to be ALL in frumpers and floor dusting skirts. The guys seem to be traveling quite a bit. Now, they just seem less... fundie. Aside from the CONSTANT baby-making (which to me seems more of just keeping up w/ the Jones mentality) many seem to be realizing you don't have to be locked up in a house in a frumper to believe in Jesus. They are slllooowwllyy becoming more of their own people. I'm wondering if the impact of FB and Pinterest makes them feel like, "Hey, so and so is wearing a sleeveless shirt and SHE's of like mind so it can't be ALL evil."

Thoughts!?!?

[meda]

I think they may be adopting some more mainstream, fundy lite trappings, but they are still scary, dangerous, ignorant, undeducated ,sexist people who think the world is 6000 years old. Mark Driscoll wears hipster clothes and has highlights, does not make him any less of a dominating cult leader.

[ILoveJellybeans]

The fundie lifestyle is terrible for keeping kids who were raised there in, so many of them realise what theyre missing and then once theyre away from their parents, start doing the things they couldnt before.

I think its cause the parents have no good reasons for why they do what they do, just that theyre in charge and thats what they say. Then the kids meet Christians who do the things that their family isnt allowed to do, and realise they dont have to choose between their religion and their parents, they can have both.

[fundiefan]

I think it's about the image. It doesn't really matter what shows on the outside, but they don't get that and they think if they make their lives and beliefs 'look pretty' they, and their 'church', will be more attractive.

Whatever they wear or how they socialize doesn't change their core beliefs.

[Hisey]

Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about the young adult fundie daughters. Some more examples. ..

Deanna Coughlin--19 years old, married four months and no baby? That's unusual in fundie-land. I wonder if they are using the dreaded BC.

Alyssa (daughter of Lori of Always Learning)--about 30, married two years, no baby. No baby after two years? Could they be. . . waiting? Even (gasp!) getting to know each other better and enjoying life as a couple? Alyssa's father had advised his kids to have babies "early and often." Why is she ignoring this sage advice?

Ken (son of Lori of AL)--about 28 years old, married, with only one kid! Who is already about 2. Could it be that they find having one baby a lot of work, and they want to wait till they feel ready for another? What is God going to say about that?

These are not earth-shattering rebellions, but they are signs that young adults fundies may be quietly taking their own path.

[fauxmenno]

Not really fundie royalty but,

Blake Yoder and wife (oldest son of the yoderfarm blog family): Married 3+ years now and apparently no desire to start having kids.

Daniel and Janel Haley (simplynel blogspot): Married 4 or 5 years and only 1 kid so far.

Seth and Harmony Haley: Married for over a year and no signs of wanting kids yet .

All of this lack of baby-making is leading me to the conclusion that either 1) these fundies are much less fertile than their parents or 2)they *gasp* actually have some knowledge of family planning! Heathens!

[acheronbeach]

Jasmine Baucham

This girl is ever the closer to bolting the fundie craziness if her FB and Pinterest is any indication of what it going on in her life/mind. She's obsessed w/ clothes and her most recent FB profile pics have her in jeans... and not baggy ones. She's dressing more fashionable, WAY shorter skirts and sleeveless tops. And what's more her FB friends (I'm assuming many are fundies themselves) are gushing over her pics and her style. Also, she seems very into Walking Dead and other very UN-fundie shows and music.

I've been waiting for her to bolt for years. Despite his disgusting beliefs about women generally, her father seems to view her a bright young woman, so I hope he'd be respectful if she became a bit more liberal.

[jaynie]

I think they may be adopting some more mainstream, fundy lite trappings, but they are still scary, dangerous, ignorant, undeducated ,sexist people who think the world is 6000 years old. Mark Driscoll wears hipster clothes and has highlights, does not make him any less of a dominating cult leader.

I think this is largely true in a lot of cases (although it would be hard to distinguish in early stages between "fundie in sheep's clothing" and "child tentatively leaving fundie-dom"). On the other hand, any questioning of the beliefs they've been raised with at all (like the frumpers-only thing, or emotional purity) is a good sign as far as I'm concerned. Who knows? Some of these second generation kids may send their own offspring to Christian schools, which, while still problematic, is a huge step up from most SOTDRTs. Or maybe some of them will decide that the rhythm method is acceptable, thus limiting their quivers and freeing their elder SAHDs a bit. Or maybe they'll decide that girls can play sports in pants, or that having a crush on someone is acceptable. These things DON'T make up for the ignorance and bigotry in any way, but they WOULD improve the quality of life for this generation and the next, and make it easier for their own kids to leave. So it's not "good", as such, but "better".

[Karsaroni]

Whatever they wear or how they socialize doesn't change their core beliefs.

Totally agree. I don't think their core beliefs have changed at all. I.e. the minute a guy wants to marry them they will step into the role "they were born to fill", to quote a line in Mona Lisa Smiles movie. BUT I do think that they are starting to realize that they can wear a skirt above the knee and watch Big Bang Theory without it meaning they are on the sure-fire road to Hell. And I honestly think it's from social media that this is becoming more acceptable. They can see their other fundie friends on Pinterest and FB and see that they like similar things, whereas at their conventions and in church they are all on their best behavior and would likely NEVER admit to such behavior or desires.

Just interesting to me!!

[shedemei]

On the lack of babies: it's possible that many of those couples are having problems with infertility.

[veron1que]

On the lack of babies: it's possible that many of those couples are having problems with infertility.

My thoughts exactly. The sad thing is that they are probably deeply shamed by the fact they haven't been able to produce a child, seeing as there is such an emphasis on god's little blessings.

[RosyDaisy]

I hope the younger set is trying to work their way out fundie-land. That kind of change won't happen overnight, but I hope it's happening. As for the fertility issue, I hope they are choosing not to have children and using birth control.

[frumper-rump]

This just makes them more scary and dangerous- it's harder to see them coming when they lose their uniforms.

[lexiloumarie]

The one fundie I really have a feeling is using BC is the Wissman married to the fundie-lite looking girl. They've been married a little while now.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about the young adult fundie daughters. Some more examples. ..

Deanna Coughlin--19 years old, married four months and no baby? That's unusual in fundie-land. I wonder if they are using the dreaded BC.

Alyssa (daughter of Lori of Always Learning)--about 30, married two years, no baby. No baby after two years? Could they be. . . waiting? Even (gasp!) getting to know each other better and enjoying life as a couple? Alyssa's father had advised his kids to have babies "early and often." Why is she ignoring this sage advice?

Ken (son of Lori of AL)--about 28 years old, married, with only one kid! Who is already about 2. Could it be that they find having one baby a lot of work, and they want to wait till they feel ready for another? What is God going to say about that?

These are not earth-shattering rebellions, but they are signs that young adults fundies may be quietly taking their own path.

If these people aren't actively spewing their parents' garbage on other people's childbearing choices, then I would take a MYOB approach to theirs.

I find automatic assumptions that someone is using BC if they don't instantly pop out babies to be offensive in general. For starters, normal people can often take a few months to get pregnant, and many don't announce pregnancies until the second trimester. Secondly, breastfeeding often delays the return of fertility, so there can be natural spacing between children. Thirdly, plenty of folks have infertility, secondary infertility, subfertility or pregnancy loss. The bottom line is that unless the couples themselves reveals their childbearing decisions, it is impossible to know whether a lack of children is voluntary or not.

[pixydust]

I think that some of them are simply trying to make themselves happier, while holding the same beliefs that they were raised in; but I also think that it is some of them getting out. It can take years to leave, years of "they were wrong about this, so are they wrong about that?" and trying out a cap sleeved shirt or knee length skirt, until you finally can say "all of this is wrong" or "80% of this is wrong". I do find the changes in the younger generation to be encouraging, and I will give them all the benefit of the doubt for now.

[Katydid]

Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about the young adult fundie daughters. Some more examples. ..

Deanna Coughlin--19 years old, married four months and no baby? That's unusual in fundie-land. I wonder if they are using the dreaded BC.

Alyssa (daughter of Lori of Always Learning)--about 30, married two years, no baby. No baby after two years? Could they be. . . waiting? Even (gasp!) getting to know each other better and enjoying life as a couple? Alyssa's father had advised his kids to have babies "early and often." Why is she ignoring this sage advice?

Ken (son of Lori of AL)--about 28 years old, married, with only one kid! Who is already about 2. Could it be that they find having one baby a lot of work, and they want to wait till they feel ready for another? What is God going to say about that?

These are not earth-shattering rebellions, but they are signs that young adults fundies may be quietly taking their own path.

I was married for over a year (not using BC at all) before I got pregnant. Sometimes it just takes a while. I hope that some of them are at least using NFP, because having children you can't take care of is in no way ok.

[Dinorah]

Maybe some of them are genuinely becoming less fundie, but I think some of them have realized that they chance a much better chance to proselytize if they give up some of the more unattractive external trappings such as the clothing restraints and the total band on secular entertainment. I know that, if I see pictures on a fundie blog of someone wearing pants and tank tops, my gut reaction is that she can't be that bad, even if her ideas might turn out to be right out of the Dark Ages.

[StarrieEyedKat]

This just makes them more scary and dangerous- it's harder to see them coming when they lose their uniforms.

Yes, this exactly. I'm not a fan of fundie-lites, they still hold the same hateful views, but it's more palatable to/accepted by the mainstream since they look like "normal" people instead of frumper wearing zealots.

[fauxmenno]

Maybe some of them are genuinely becoming less fundie, but I think some of them have realized that they chance a much better chance to proselytize if they give up some of the more unattractive external trappings such as the clothing restraints and the total band on secular entertainment. I know that, if I see pictures on a fundie blog of someone wearing pants and tank tops, my gut reaction is that she can't be that bad, even if her ideas might turn out to be right out of the Dark Ages.

^^terrifying thought

[Hisey]

My husband is infertile, so I had no intention of making any unkind assumptions of fertility or infertility. I could see how it might have come across that way, though.

However, the delay in childbearing in such young couples does make me wonder. Of course, it could be infertility, but it could also be NFP or simply an unannounced desire to have some time alone with one's spouse. After all, it's pretty easy to do. Fundie moms like Kim Coughlan may be able to influence their adult kids in many ways, but they can't control what happens in the bedroom. Kim can't push it --what? no baby yet? -- without seeming insensitive and nosy.

And here's another one: Josh Duggar. They had no trouble getting pregnant the first two times. Secondary infertility is possible, but it's also possible they have their hands full, and realize it.

Perhaps I am just being hopeful, but I personally think that some of them think their parents are nuts and want to choose a different path. This is a nonconfrontational way to do so.

[moodygirl86]

If these people aren't actively spewing their parents' garbage on other people's childbearing choices, then I would take a MYOB approach to theirs.

I find automatic assumptions that someone is using BC if they don't instantly pop out babies to be offensive in general. For starters, normal people can often take a few months to get pregnant, and many don't announce pregnancies until the second trimester. Secondly, breastfeeding often delays the return of fertility, so there can be natural spacing between children. Thirdly, plenty of folks have infertility, secondary infertility, subfertility or pregnancy loss. The bottom line is that unless the couples themselves reveals their childbearing decisions, it is impossible to know whether a lack of children is voluntary or not.

I agree with this. We make a point not to speculate about sexuality of minors as we know some of their friends/relatives read here. For the same reason, I wouldn't like to land somebody in the shit with their circle regarding BC.

[lilwriter85]

I think they may be adopting some more mainstream, fundy lite trappings, but they are still scary, dangerous, ignorant, undeducated ,sexist people who think the world is 6000 years old. Mark Driscoll wears hipster clothes and has highlights, does not make him any less of a dominating cult leader.

I agree with you, I also think that is happening.

[lilwriter85]

Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about the young adult fundie daughters. Some more examples. ..

Deanna Coughlin--19 years old, married four months and no baby? That's unusual in fundie-land. I wonder if they are using the dreaded BC.

Alyssa (daughter of Lori of Always Learning)--about 30, married two years, no baby. No baby after two years? Could they be. . . waiting? Even (gasp!) getting to know each other better and enjoying life as a couple? Alyssa's father had advised his kids to have babies "early and often." Why is she ignoring this sage advice?

Ken (son of Lori of AL)--about 28 years old, married, with only one kid! Who is already about 2. Could it be that they find having one baby a lot of work, and they want to wait till they feel ready for another? What is God going to say about that?

These are not earth-shattering rebellions, but they are signs that young adults fundies may be quietly taking their own path.

With Lori's kids, i get the feeling that each of them at most 4 or 5 kids. Lori has said that she wanted more than 4 kids, but stopped because of health problems. She has had postings about large families and they she had a ridiculous posting saying that the reason people don't have large families is because of materialism. I think with Lori's kids, they are used to not being in a very large family and the idea of having 5 to 10 kids scares them.

[Abby_B]

Jessica McDonald has been wearing pants for awhile... even in front of Stacy and at events. It's been at least a year and a half if not longer. I remember Stacy posting about modesty in that time-frame and kind of being wishy-washy about the skirts only thing. Since she writes so much about modesty, I can't find that particular article on her site.

I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that they're fundie royalty and basically, get to do whatever they want. The fundie leaders have always practiced the "Do as I say, Not as I do" thing. It extends to just about everything. Beall Phillips votes even though Doug says women shouldn't vote, a bunch of the fundie leaders went to college and advertise their degrees but tell everyone else not to do so. Most of the fundie royalty children seem terribly spoiled and materialistic. I don't think they're necessarily becoming less fundie, just more open about their freedom from all the rules. Yet, they still insist that the lower orders follow the rules and their followers just accept it all as normal.