Kirk Cameron wants to give you a speshul bible

[Buzzard]

Good ole Kirky has a new TV spot where he's standing on a beach cliff holding a bible that "changed the world." This sooper speshul version of the bible is "older than the king james version" and is the foundation of the US because it contains "principles for economic liberty, political liberty, and religious freedom."

He's very proud of its 300000 "utterly unique" study notes and has ZOMG chapters and ZOMG NUMBERS!!! Because it wasnt authorized by the gubment it was "outlawed" and our forefathers risked their lives to bring this outlawed book to our shores.

This bible is "by the people, for the people" and is "the book that built america."

There's then a shot of said sooper speshul book on the ground, overlooking the cliff with waves crashing below. For the first time in 400 years kirky will let you buy is, and get a free copy of the constitution!!! You too can see his ridiculous acting here:

store.kirkcameron.com/1599-geneva-bible-black-leather-edition-cd-rom/

For the ultra low low price of $70 plus shipping this awesomness can be yours!!!

genevabible.com

Why is he wearing a fucking earpiece on the front page?

Why is the bible on the ground?

This screams PP all over it. A bible the government doesnt like! Its better than the king james! Fundie WAR!

eta commercial link

[Trynn]

Why on earth would I pay $70 for that when I can read the Geneva bible for free on the internet?

Also, I'm nervous about a bible not translated by a team of scholars who cross check and recross check and are funded by a specific church.

[Guest Anonymous]

Good ole Kirky has a new TV spot where he's standing on a beach cliff holding a bible that "changed the world." This sooper speshul version of the bible is "older than the king james version" and is the foundation of the US because it contains "principles for economic liberty, political liberty, and religious freedom."

Ooh! Are these the freedoms that mean I get to oppress people? Sign me up!

Also, he says 'our forefathers', which is different (and far more creepy) than saying the 'founding fathers' or the 'pilgrim fathers'.

Edited: Wording. Still not sure about it.

[sarahbrownie]

lol. THE PATRIOT'S EDITION. Geez...

Is it me, or is he aging badly? That picture is so not flattering.

[AnnieC 305]

Doug Phillips is a tool, but he has a better price on it.

http://www.visionforum.com/browse/produ ... &viewall=1

This page, however, made me die laughing.

https://store.kirkcameron.com/god-doesn ... snt-exist/

[E Street Fan]

If lame, washed-up actor Kirk really wants to bring truth to the people, shouldn't he be GIVING AWAY copies of his truly speshul bible? Couldn't he use some of his god-given wealth to bring knowledge to the unsaved?

Or is he pimping his truly speshul bible for $70 (plus shipping and handling) because his lame, washed-up self can't support his quiver? Or because the only thing he gives a shit about is himself?

I used to watch Growing Pains when I was maybe ten or twelve. It's only now that I realize why he creeped me out.

ETA:

Is it me, or is he aging badly? That picture is so not flattering.

Another example of hate and bitterness aging somebody quickly. He's only 42.

[doggie]

I wanna know if he is paying god for the the use of this text?

[chaotic life]

Christan Book distributors is selling this bible for $36. There's a non-leather bound copy being sold or $25 as well.

I would consider purchasing this text but I have a LOT of translations of the Bible. I'm a PK and I waas taught the academic and literary beauty of lots of texts of the Bible. I don't hold that ONE text is the only TRUE text but I do like seeing it in multple formats when I'm reading it.

[Kaylee]

Christan Book distributors is selling this bible for $36. There's a non-leather bound copy being sold or $25 as well.

I would consider purchasing this text but I have a LOT of translations of the Bible. I'm a PK and I waas taught the academic and literary beauty of lots of texts of the Bible. I don't hold that ONE text is the only TRUE text but I do like seeing it in multple formats when I'm reading it.

I was just about to post the link to christianbook. That's the best price for it as far as I know.

The Geneva is interesting for the history - it was the translation the Pilgrims used and was pretty much the "standard" Bible version for years, comparable to the KJV or the NIV in most modern churches. It's coming back in vogue as a study Bible because of this new generation of neo-Calvinists.

[JesusFightClub]

The Bible *does* give economic tips, but I do not think they're the ones he's thinking of :lol:

As for a guide for "political liberty and religious freedom" you'd do better to listen to My Little Armalite. Which is saying something :shock:

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

ROFL, Buzzard that was a great post. I may or may not have just woken up my partner laughing.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

The Bible *does* give economic tips, but I do not think they're the ones he's thinking of :lol:

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Doug Phillips is a tool, but he has a better price on it.

http://www.visionforum.com/browse/produ ... &viewall=1

This page, however, made me die laughing.

https://store.kirkcameron.com/god-doesn ... snt-exist/

"This book proves to atheists that they don't exist, reveals to agnostics their true motives, and strengthens the faith of the believers. This book answers questions such as "Who made God?" and "Where did Cain get his wife?" The book uses humor, reason, and logic to send a powerful message. Here are some reactions from atheists who read the book . . ."

WOW, that was easy! Thanks, Kirkie! Now that you've proven I don't exist, I will happily get knocked up ASAP and only go to my uni campus to hand out million-dollar tracts.

TOOOL.

ETA: There were no "reactions from atheists who read the book" on that website as far as I can tell, so...the Internet doesn't believe in Kirk Cameron?

[emmiedahl]

Ooh! Are these the freedoms that mean I get to oppress people? Sign me up!

Also, he says 'our forefathers', which is different (and far more creepy) than saying the 'founding fathers' or the 'pilgrim fathers'.

Edited: Wording. Still not sure about it.

Your wording is fine. Kirk's wording is weird. They are not my forefathers, but they are the founding fathers of my country. Big difference.

Great find, Buzzard. I have never heard of this translation but I can only imagine the blatant mistranslation if it supports Calvinism.

[Deleted07]

wait... its The Bible that built America, but it was unauthorized by that same government? *does not compute*

But why am I not surprised?

[crassy]

This page, however, made me die laughing.

https://store.kirkcameron.com/god-doesn ... snt-exist/

TIL that I don't exist. NEAT!

[debrand]

http://www.genevabible.org/Geneva.html

You can scroll down to the above link and find the translation for free.

Apparently, neoCalvinists do not care if their bibles are the most accurate. They want their bibles to line up with their beliefs.

http://www.flowofhistory.com/units/west/13/FC85B

Here is what Geneva was like under the Calvinists.

Although the city government still functioned, the Consistory, a church council of twelve elders, wielded the real power over people's lives in Geneva. All citizens were members of the church and had to attend services three or four times a week. This was because there was no telling who was predestined to be saved, and so all must be given a chance. Such acts as fighting, swearing, drunkenness, gambling, card playing, and dancing were outlawed. Even loud noises and laughing in church were fined. Theaters and taverns were closed and replaced by inns allowing moderate drinking accompanied by sermons and church propaganda. Members of the Consistory would make annual inspections of homes to ensure they were morally run. People were even expected to report their neighbors for any behavior that was less than saintly.

The Consistory also ruled the more trivial aspects of peoples' lives. Jewelry and lace were frowned upon, the color of clothing was regulated by law, and women were fined for arranging their hair to immodest heights. Children were to be named after Old Testament figures, and one man was jailed for four days for naming his son Claude instead of Abraham. Punishments were equally harsh, with fifty-eight executions between 1542 and 1564, mostly for heresy (especially Catholicism) and witchcraft. Fourteen witches were burned in one year and one boy was beheaded for striking his parents. Not surprisingly Geneva was called "City of the Saints".

[Childless]

http://www.genevabible.org/Geneva.html

You can scroll down to the above link and find the translation for free.

Apparently, neoCalvinists do not care if their bibles are the most accurate. They want their bibles to line up with their beliefs.

http://www.flowofhistory.com/units/west/13/FC85B

Here is what Geneva was like under the Calvinists.

And why would I want to buy the piece of garbage that caused this? Is this seriously the world that Kirkie wants us all to live in? Well, fuck him.

[blisterine]

lol. THE PATRIOT'S EDITION. Geez...

Is it me, or is he aging badly? That picture is so not flattering.

as bad as he looks, i bet smuggs has a picture of him on the refrigerator for inspiration.

"i can be slim and trim like him (kirk) for HIM (jesus)!"

[lilwriter85]

If lame, washed-up actor Kirk really wants to bring truth to the people, shouldn't he be GIVING AWAY copies of his truly speshul bible? Couldn't he use some of his god-given wealth to bring knowledge to the unsaved?

Or is he pimping his truly speshul bible for $70 (plus shipping and handling) because his lame, washed-up self can't support his quiver? Or because the only thing he gives a shit about is himself?

I used to watch Growing Pains when I was maybe ten or twelve. It's only now that I realize why he creeped me out.

ETA:

Another example of hate and bitterness aging somebody quickly. He's only 42.

I think Kirk is pimping out those bibles because he needs the money and he doesn't want to be on a reality show like Lisa Whelchel. I think that if Kirk had never become religious, his acting career would have eventually dried up. I never thought he was extremely attractive. I can't picture him being on any of the popular shows of the mid and late 90s. Michael J. Fox had success with that sitcom Spin City for several years before quit because of Parkinsons. Alyssa Milano was on Melrose Place and Charmed. Nothing similar would have happened for Kirk.

I think the Julie McCullough incident that happened on the Growing Pains set and the problems Kirk had with the producers after his religious conversion probably turned off other people in the entertainment industry. I remember watching an awful Touched by an Angel episode that Kirk did in the late 90s or early 00s. I'm not a huge fan of Kirk's little sister Candace, but she does seem a tad more likable than Kirk.

[Buzzard]

This page, however, made me die laughing.

https://store.kirkcameron.com/god-doesn ... snt-exist/

This one is on amazon. Are we sure FJ hasnt gotten into the comments?

http://www.amazon.com/God-Doesnt-Believ ... n+atheists

This was well written considering the majority audience's education level. I didn't read the whole thing just fingered through it at Borders. I couldn't help myself after reading the title. Any Atheist would say "I agree" "jehovah/yahweh", Santa, the Easter Bunny, Zeus, Sun gods, or any other figment of simple minded sheep need for understanding don't believe in Atheists, seeing as they DON'T EXIST.

the saddest part about this book is that the whole thing could have been avoided had ray comfort consulted a dictionary throughout his fallacious rambling.

atheism: One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.

an atheist doesn't claim knowledge about a deity he knows nothing about; he simply doesn't believe a deity exists. therefore, i have to wonder if mr. comfort believes his own argument as he constantly begs the question and goes around in circles with himself. don't waste your money. if you want an intelligent argument for the christian faith, check out cs lewis' apologetic work. this guy is a poseur.

I have very little doubt that most of Mr. Comfort's arguments could be used equally well to demonstrate that Allah, Brahma,

Dhamballah or Kukulcan actually exist, not to mention Odin and Zeus. However, since he doesn't believe _in_ those gods, he overlooks this.

As far as arguments from natural sciences - look at the human eye! How could that have evolved? - well, my studies of parasitology provide an interesting perspective. The sacculina parasite (it infests crabs) has a life cycle that would make Loki the trickster blanch, and ichneumon/digger wasps - who paralyze spiders, then lay their eggs in the helpless arachnid's body - would scarcely qualify as the special creation of an omnibenevolent deity.

Step away from the kool aid, kirk. Far, far, away. In fact, When your world changing book was written it didnt exist, which means that it is of the devil and forbidden! NO KOOL AID!!!

[emmiedahl]

The commenter is correct about parasite life cycles. I'm like, "wait, how many hosts in one life cycle? What are the chances it will find its way into a rabbit, then a frog, then a rainbow-tailed unicorn, and finally a crab? How does this creature make it past one generation????"

/endtopic

[Terrie]

I can promise that my forefathers had nothing to do with the Geneva Bible. They came to the US less than 150 years ago, and didn't speak English.

[Buzzard]

I can promise that my forefathers had nothing to do with the Geneva Bible. They came to the US less than 150 years ago, and didn't speak English.

Considering mine are jews they probably were burned...

[Trynn]

I can promise that my forefathers had nothing to do with the Geneva Bible. They came to the US less than 150 years ago, and didn't speak English.

Why oh WHY does FJ not have a Like button?!

My "forefathers" came from the Ukraine, and were very very Catholic. Therefore, according to some, my relatives are evil. Sigh.