F U, Fundies

[Itsnotaclowncar]

Oh man I had the least fundy approved day: I went to my gay friends' apartmentwarming/bachelor party extravaganza. I got there early and helped them set up by installing a toilet paper roll holder while they made drinks. We played drunk twister. We went to a sex toy shop, and a drag show and multiple bars. I danced a lot and provocatively. I spoke to a male cab driver and thai delivery guy unsupervised. I ate an unreasonable amount of thai food. I'm going to snuggle into bed with a man I'm not married to. That man is going to have to make his own food tomorrow since I'm not going to be up to it. Being a dirty heathen is fun.

[Guest Anonymous]

Took my daughter to buy her halloween costume today. She's going as Katniss this year. :)

[Parkersmom120106]

Oh man, this could be a long one, so I'll just start from the time I arrived at work at 7 this evening. First off I work at a nightclub, and was dressed in shorts that weren't too bad, but were too short to pass high school dress code, I was also wearing a low cut shirt and had the girls jacked up in a Victoria's Secret Very Sexy push up bra. At the begining of the night, before people started coming in I watched a couple youtube videos from The Young Turks, and also listened to some secular music on Pandora (it was country, so I guess it could have been worse). Over the course of the night I told someone how much I love being a single mom and making ALL the decisions myself. I also told them how I prefer to be single and want more babies but no more baby daddies, so, after I finish school and have a job with insurance I'm going to order a daddy off the internet and have a baby all alone. I also expressed my disgust at people being denied medical care because they couldn't pay. This was after a customer told me the story of her heart surgery. She went to the ER because she had hangover like symptoms but hadn't drank any alchohol. They found something wrong with her heart and scheduled her for major heart surgery (I don't remember all the details, but I do know she's now sporting a cow valve and said she something about wires under her skin) 3 days later. She didn't have health insurance so she applied for a charity insurance (I'm not sure what it is, but it's seperate from medicaid. I've known people who were denied medicaid and then got care through this system). The day before the surgery the coverage hadn't kicked in and they told her they wouldn't do the surgery. They were for real going to send a mother of 3 young children home to die because she couldn't pay for the surgery. Lucky for her it kicked in later that day and she was able to get the surgery she needed. That made me VERY angry. Pretty sure I used some colorful language and took the Lord's name in vain while expressing my feelings about that one. Of course the fundies would probably use that as an example of God saving her life, but whatever. Oh, and I think I told someone I didn't believe in God, but that may have been last night. So now I'm home alone because I let my son spend the night with someone else. If the fundies knew all this about me, they'd probably yell NIKE at their children if I got within their line of sight lol.

ETA: Oh, and I also discussed my educational plans with my boss who's Lebanese and Catholic.

[FearLyss]

Let's see. I will start with yesterday, because I did not work today, and working is a big no-no to them. Also, Friday and today (oh wait, it's Sunday) just sort of ran together.

Friday morning I went to a meeting for a client, where I discussed his health and well-being with his doctor and the rest of his support team, and we made some curcial decisions. I returned to the office and took refuge in my cubicle to work on a few support plans and listen to lots of random horrible music (Awol Nation,Foster the People, Of Monsters and Men, Lana Del Rey, Lady Gaga, Sublime, Elton John, RHCP, The Organ, and many others that shuffled on).

At 3:45 I left, and went to meet my best friend at the bar around the corner for happy hour. We drank and chatted about work, family, and men. At some point I googled "size JJ boobie porn" because we got into the topic of an old friend's massive boobs and wondered what they would look like nude. The results were both amazing and terrfying. We discussed out own chesticles, and what our fears were regarding them as we aged. We both feel like getting pregnant would be bad for our breasts, so we think we should never do that. We both love our boobies quite a bit.

Slightly intoxicated and walked to her apartment. We watched TV for a while and I sobered up and drove home. I got home and got ready to meet some other friends at a gay club. I watched a drag show and was both kissed and fondled by performers, of both genders. I drank more since I had arranged for my fuck buddy to pick me up. We had a great night . . . doing what fuck buddies (but might be turning into more, if I can handle that) do. In the morning, he bought me breakfast and drove me to my car and I went to my parents' place, where I showered and got dressed to go shopping for a HALLOWEEN costume for my beautiful niece, who was born outside of marriage. Later, I took my sister to work and babysat my niece. I tried to teach her to shoot hoops (she is 15 months), we did not practice folding towels. I pulled out an old neuroscience textbook and showed her the pretty pictures, she can almost say "brain". She fell asleep so I read some Kafka. I microwaved dinner, because I can not cook. I also spoke to my other best friend, who lives in Brooklyn, about some ideas for his next Boylesk (male burlesque) act. I read an article online about his last performance and viewed naughty pictures of him, but since I went to the show, it was nothing new.

Once my sister got home, I decided to relax by drinking rum. I drank a substantial amount and then went into a little monologue in my backyard directed at my fairly recently dead boy-toy. I also played a Keane song and two Lana Del Rey songs on loop, I tend to do that drunk. I got bored with talking to the dead and listening to Lana. So, now I am on freejinger, and that alone would make the fundies cringe. I am also texting one of the two besties, who cannot sleep so is drinking wine. I am inebriated and going into incredible detail about the past two days, which were pretty good.

[Triplet3]

Took the pill, read FJ. Apart from that I've had a relatively fundy-friendly day so far - I'm even wearing a skirt, which doesn't happen all that often, and I've been having cuddles with my newborn niece.

[Avalondaughter]

Hmm.. Let's see...

I had sex with my husband Friday night. I'm on the pill, so no procreation happened.

I cooked a dinner last night for our families for our anniversary. I did all the cooking, but hubby did most of the clean up.

Today I'm going to ride my horse. I will not wear sandals and a skirt, but proper riding pants, boots, and a helmet.

Tomorrow I'm going to my dance class. For the jazz portion of it there will be a lot of hip shaking.

[Sumeri]

That video sounds awesome. :lol:

It was truly awesome. The horrible, fearsome rat was very confused with all the shouting about "Julia!" and simply wandered off-screen.

[cate]

I've got probably the least fundy-approved hairstyle. I'm female and I shave my head the first week of every month.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Im wearing pants today. Yesterday mine were very tight and defrauding.

Had defrauding thoughts about someone (of the same sex as well...)

I dont plan on ever having kids, and I plan to treat my partner as an equal.

[fundiefan]

Oooh, I blew up the fundie concept of daughterhood this morning. I told my mother to fuck off and hung up on her. (I may be 45 years old but I am not above the tantrum when necessary). This after about ten minutes of the most ridiculous argument ever to be had.

This afternoon I will be drinking beer while watching football in the company of six men and only one other woman. Three of the men are married but none of their wives will be present. I will wear jeans and team colors and I won't go near the kitchen the entire day, not mine or my host's.

One of those married men is staying over night at my apartment - just the two of us here, alone, after the game. He lives out of town and is here for a family wedding yesterday and is staying to party for the game today. His wife is 300 miles away, with their two children, and she knows he is staying at my house! He is not a relative, either.

Yesterday, I had nothing as far as specific things to offend fundies - other than existing. Today, I am giving fundies a giant F.U. and bite me.

[sparkles]

Not today but I signed up for an ongoing monthly donation to Planned Parenthood. I've decided that each month, I'll pick an individual whose words/actions have pissed me off the most and I'll dedicate that month's donation to him or her. That person will recieve an email from me (with a cc to Planned Parenthood) notifying them of this esteemed honor and thanking them for my renewed activism.

That should cheese off a few folks.

And I TOTALLY want to see 1984 starring sock puppets and rats. Awesome!

[pixydust]

Yesterday I went to work in pants. After the kids went to bed I had some "alone time" with something that uses batteries. :whistle: (hubby is camping this weekend, so I'm alone) I watched 2 episodes of Parenthood on netflix, then threw on an episode of "Monarchy" to fall asleep to....oh, I was also reading "Under the Banner of Heaven" yesterday. Oh, almost forgot! Yesterday was the last day of my period and I used tampons (oh the horror!).

Currently, I slept until 8:30, when my daughter woke me up to tell me that the toaster wasn't working (it had become unplugged). That is Duggar approved, but not Maxwell. My 5 yo son has his finger and toe nails painted purple. He's also running around in just his lego man underwear. I'm still in my jammies. I'm planning on today coloring my hair and shopping for parts of Halloween costumes.

The most un fundie thing that I have ever done is that I was in a polyam relationship, and I had sex with the woman more than the man!

Edit because there is a diff between "through" and "threw". :oops:

[FundiesInMyFamily]

My son has a transgendered goldfish. You see, Elmo has a goldfish named "Dorothy" and booger wanted one too, but when we went to the pet store, the fish he picked was a male Beta (who happened to be pink). So he's got a pink male Beta "Goldfish" named Dorothy.

Jr was home sick this week with a really bad cold, and I taught him how to use Youtube so he can watch all of his favorite devil music. We listened to Linkin Park together while I painted his fingernails blue.

Last night I watched most of season 3 of The Tudors - lots of sex, a couple of beheadings, and the burning of a prodestant heretic. Good times.

[Sola]

Well other than just existing, I suppose I've done a few things.

Became an atheist in my teens.

Staunch socialist from before that.

Pro choice.

Had pre-marital sex with someone other than my husband

Had pre-marital sex with my husband

Lived with my husband

Have a job

Have an education

Wear pants sometimes

Get drunk sometimes

I have been known to partake in weed.

I vaccinated my children.

I say Fuck a lot.

I demasculated my husband by painting his toenails red while he was sleeping.

I watch porn.

I watch TV

Sometimes I turn my husband down for sex.

I've taken the morning after pill on three occasions

I've used an IUD.

I regularly post on Ray Comfort's blog and try to be as much of a thorn in his side as I can.

I'm a member of Freejinger.

I'm pretty much bound for hell.

[Freyacat]

Well, I just now laughed my ass off at the Christmas Shoes parody video in the thread about God teaching people a lesson. (for anyone who missed it - second to last post on this page: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=13190&start=20)

Considering that one features God and Buddha enjoying some sexytimes in a hot tub, I'm pretty sure I'm roasting for thinking it's hilarious and sending it out to some other folks I know! :dance:

ETA: On a less superfluous note, my only child is the product of ebil fertility treatments. Anyone, fundie or otherwise, who thinks I shouldn't have used fertility treatments can kindly go fuck themselves with sandpaper. :D

[ElphabaGalinda]

I kissed a girl, and I liked it.

I also wore pants, drank alcohol and watched an R rated movie.

And that was just last night/really really early this morning. I occasionally do worse better.

[constantgardener]

I went to work today (on a Sunday, wearing jeans, heathen that I am) and left my husband making pancakes for the kids, with reminders to hang the washing out.

[bananacat]

Last night I was playing Dungeons and Dragons. To make it even worse, during the slow parts I was texting two different friends with benefits to arrange for sexy times. And when I hook up with them, I will use not one, but TWO different forms of birth control. I will then proceed to not marry either of them and continue giving away pieces of both my heart and my hymen.

ETA: And then today for lunch I ate a healthy meal, which included vegetables and didn't include any cream soup. The horror!

[CrazySister]

Not only was I unchaperoned with a man to whom I'm unrelated, but I also helped him shower while he was...naked! Oh, the horror! :o

Now I'm wondering if since he pays me to help him, am I technically a prostitute? I mean, I wasn't naked but he certainly was. Hmmm, I think a trip to the prayer closet may be in order, especially because I did this on a Sunday. Sunday morning no less, so clearly that means I wasn't in church.

[Marian the Librarian]

Hmmm, recent behaviors that would induce pearl-clutching...

1. Enjoyed some sweet, sweet carnality with Mr. MtL. No baby-making here, that ship has sailed.

2. Worked my full-time job in an ebil gummint public library, thereby a) making an equal financial contribution in my marriage, and b) flying the intellectual freedom flag by making all kinds of information available to library users (evolution! sex education!! science!!! Oh MY!).

3. Wore pants to work, as always - infinitely more modest than skirts when you're on the floor trying to locate the last copy of "Goodnight Moon."

4. Selected Planned Parenthood as my charity of choice for another year's worth of workplace giving.

[DistantStar]

I skipped church (granted, I'm sure fundies wouldn't count mine as a church since we're evil religious liberals after all) because I felt like it.

[fundifugee]

My three year old was being clingy and demanding, and instead of beating her into silence I decided to make muffins together. Which is an excellent activity for a mother to teach her daughter, but ask the daughter and she will assure you that I cannot cook for shit. So I burnt the muffins, daughter boycotted them (and I did not confine her to a highchair and beat her for two hours until she ate what I told her to eat), and even the dog buried hers outside. No, the lord did not bless my muffin-making venture. A week from now I go back to work to be the primary breadwinner in my family. And I will perform early abortions, prescribe morning after pills, and promote contraception and safer sex. And even advise men when I see them as patients. Oh, and I will not have any more babies because I have decided to close my own womb.

[Sola]

I kissed a girl, and I liked it.

I also wore pants, drank alcohol and watched an R rated movie.

And that was just last night/really really early this morning. I occasionally do worse better.

Oh I forgot about that one. In addition to what I've already posted, I had a brief, but rather passionate affair with another girl when I was 16.

And another one, whilst at uni I worked on Sundays.

[Irishy]

Threw up all day yesterday cos I can't handle gin cocktails on a Friday night with the mummies from school.

Took my kids to the family mass this morning and listened to the 'wrong gospel' being preached by a celibate man and wondered if Jesus really was the son of God or were the Jews and Muslims right all this time...

[bluelady]

On Thursday, I called my headship and told him he was responsible for dinner, cause I didn't feel like cooking.

Then, yesterday, I gave away pieces of my heart by lusting after Ryan Gosling AND Sofia Vergara. The headship was ok with it :D