Does the MRS degree still exist?

[nokidsmom]

I know only one man that I grew up with who did the stay-at-home-dad thing for six years to get his kids into school and then back into the work force he went. The person who made him feel crappiest? His own father. The man was shocked to the core that he had somehow failed and raised a "lazy" son. It didn't matter that it made absolute sense based on the couple's earnings, positions, and temperaments. Not to mention it was always meant to be temporary. My friend and his wife took a look of flak doing right by their kids.

And I bet your friend and his wife probably explained to the dad that this was a temporary arrangement and it made sense financially but it didn't matter. The son, being a man, was supposed to get out and provide. It's what men do, period. Societal roles can be very deeply ingrained, can't they? My husband got flak from his dad too but because I worked. Never mind that plenty of women were in the work force, he honestly saw my husband as a failure because I had to work. We both needed to work at the time, but I would have done so no matter what.

[VodouDoll]

I majored in art history and was often accused of getting an MRS degree. The kicker, though, was that the people accusing me were the guys in my program. I am a woman and so was obviously there to pass the time while finding a rich doctorlawyerbanker husband, but they were men and so were obviously there because they were serious scholars who loved the subject. The accusations would usually ramp up after I got better grades or internships than they did, or acceptance into a better grad school. Assholes.

[JesusFightClub]

My bro's a single dad. He has to be, the weans' mother was murdered. I'm often surprised by people's reaction to it though...he's a brave hero dad and just fantastic...whereas a single mum is scummy and benefits leeching. People assume those things when they don't know the circumstances.

I'm the first person on my dad's side of the family to graduate from university, or even to attend it. I was quite taken aback by the environment. I went to Embra Uni and everything was about what school you went to and how you spoke. I was the only state school graduate in my class and I didn't even get some things - what's "diagramming sentences"? We had the SRA workbook, was it like that? (Hint: No.)

I was too ashamed to put my hand up and say I didn't know what diagramming meant. I sat next to my mate who had been to Eton and asked him to explain things to me. I was about as far from an MRS degree as anyone could be who was the "class chav" :lol:

[bananacat]

I went to a really expensive and difficult college. Nobody would pay that much to never use their degree. I had no idea that the MRS degree even existed until years after I graduated. It seems like such a waste of money to pay for an education you never intend to use. I sure as hell wouldn't pay for my (hypothetical) kid to go to college unless they intended to use it. If I had a daughter who wanted to only get married and drop everything else, then she could do that perfectly well for free by not attending said college and just going to parties or something.

[catdogandbirdmommy]

I think women in this country have the option of a "graceful exit" from the work force. It's true, unless the household is independently wealthy, most families require at least one breadwinner to function. But for women, who still bear the responsibility of child care, they have an easier time of quitting and re-entering the workforce in a lesser capacity. They have the practical reason of being the primary caregiver and the the social accepted excuse that primary responsibility of homemaker fell to them. If a mother is torn between caring for home and working and she hates her job, it's just an "easier" decision to quit the job. In fact, women who work too hard may be seen as lacking in maternal affection.

OTOH, it's the opposite for men. If a man wants to stay home because the family can't afford daycare and he hates his job anyways, there's so much more crap he has to wade through.

Plus, men are still socially conditioned to provide, and many have a hard time stomaching the idea of being a SAH parent. Even my very enlightened husband confided in me he would not feel comfortable if he made less than me. He would feel he wasn't working hard enough, and that he was lazy because his wife makes more. I was quite shocked by this attitude given that he has always encouraged me in my career and shared many socially liberal values.

Women have it easier in this regard that they can have a hard charging career, but then quit and re-enter the workforce in a limited capacity without stigma. Men who do so is looked upon as lazy and a poor husband. We have gone a long way but the men sure need to get liberated too!

Unfortunately I think that the reason we see this is because women are often the ones almost required to do the bulk of the childcare. One thing I have noticed in many cases is when a couple has a baby the woman gets stuck doing all or most of the work. Some might say it's because she gave birth but I think in some cases it's because the husband is too lazy to do his fair share. I get flack for saying this, but I've long thought this whole militant breastfeeding movement is indirectly connected to making sure the woman does more.

[tigerchild]

I'll be honest and say my B.S. degree was a total MRS degree. I was desperate to get married ASAP so that I didn't have to go back home.

I started out pre-vet/Animal Science (way way fun!) and switched to Family and Child Development/Human Services (easier As, but still pretty fun since I like hanging out with different kinds of people). Both are worthwhile pursuits I feel but at 18-21 I had no fucking clue what I wanted. Other than to be anywhere but at home.

Given that there's plenty of asshole parents still out there, I'd not be surprised if that particular angle of MRS degree still exists. It's a socially sanctioned escape from a hellish conservative home life.

[ADoyle90815]

I never heard of the MRS degree until I got involved with Mormonism, as there were some people who thought I should drop out of college once I married my ex-husband. Obviously, I completely ignored them, and eventually divorced my ex when it was obvious he was abusive, and quit the church instead of college. Now, I'm seeing how strong that indoctrination is with my youngest step sister whose mom was one of those Mormons who wouldn't even take headache medicine if it had caffeine in it, and she's into wedding planning even though she just graduated high school and is in her freshman year at a secular school because even her mom realized that a BYU school was too expensive. By that, I mean that this step sister's Pinterest page is all about wedding related things.

[YPestis]

I went to a really expensive and difficult college. Nobody would pay that much to never use their degree. I had no idea that the MRS degree even existed until years after I graduated. It seems like such a waste of money to pay for an education you never intend to use. I sure as hell wouldn't pay for my (hypothetical) kid to go to college unless they intended to use it. If I had a daughter who wanted to only get married and drop everything else, then she could do that perfectly well for free by not attending said college and just going to parties or something.

I thought that too until I went to an expensive college which had a selective admissions policy and was introduced to the "MRS" degree for the first time. There exist women who treat the university experience like a finishing school. They go to acquire the appropriate pedigree and rub shoulders with accomplished young men. These women are rare but one was my suite mate. These girls are no less intelligent, but they attend the "right" college to burnish their credentials for the marriage market. I guess if you want to snatch an appropriate marriage, you shouldn't look too "dumpy" with just a high school diploma!

My friends were shocked when we first heard of this when a girl announced in class her life goal was to be a housewife, she never want to hold a "real" job. Our school run a substantial waitlist each year, my friends thought that girls who do not want to use their degree for anything should not take that spot from someone who intend on using it. I am torn about that idea because an education is never wasted....but I can understand the sentiment.

[Mouser]

I come from an area that traditionally relied upon heavy industry, factories and mines. When I left senior school there was a lot of underachievement going on which was not seen as a problem as school leavers would leave school at 16 and go straight into blue collar job. Among my peers few of us went to college and fewer still went to university. Back then many of the girls in my class left school on the Friday and started work at the clothing factories on Monday morning. The boys went straight into the steel works or mines. For the girls they stayed at their factory jobs until they got married and then they left to have their first baby. That was twenty-seven years ago.

Industry around here has been decimated (actually that's an understatement). Where there were around 15 clothing factories in my town there is now one. There is one mine left out of dozens and the steel works is down to one site rather than the five it had spread across town. There just isn't the jobs any more. But, there is still the underachievement. Whereas before the girls left school, worked in a factory until marriage and then became a SAHM, now invariably they are pregnant within a year or two of finishing at school. We have problems here with boys not finding work and they end up in trouble with the police. The girls end up as single parents and the cycle starts again.

When the industry ended nothing was put in its place. Very little effort was made to increase educational attainment. There's a slightly higher percentage of teens who go on to college and university, but it isn't high enough.

I was one of the lucky ones in that 'got out'. I went to college and university, but even then it's surprising how many were just biding their time until a husband came along. I think now, for better educated teens, it is changing. But for many working class teens they still have poor prospects.

I'm just curious where you live, because you pretty much exactly described the area I live in.

[kb2]

I just went to the state university which isn't hard to get into, and there were plenty of women who expected to find a fiancee by the time they graduated and wanted a guy who would make more than they would. But they were in college mainly to get a degree which they either planned to use to get a job as supplemental income, to have income prospects if their potential future husband couldn't work/died/divorced them, or as income in case they didn't find a husband. I wouldn't say it was seeking an MRS degree so much as many women think they'll get married in their 20s, and many women go to college, and there's also a lot of societal pressure for men to make more than women.

Grad school was more competitive, and I heard a lot more women accused of just wanting to get married, have kids, stay home with them and not use their degree at all, because they were "taking up spots" that hypothetical other people should be taking.

[Mouser]

It's neigh on impossible to support a family on one income in Britain, but there is definitely an element of the MRS degree here. I knew someone at school who explicitly said that they were going to university to "find their husband".

I went to one of the top unis in Britain and there were definitely some girls there who, despite being bright, were angling for higher-earning husbands (being a SAHW would be rather unusual unless you had small children here, but earning pin money in, say, the charity sector while your husband works in something like banking is rather more acceptable). There were also a lot of American girls over on a year abroad who were rather obvious in their quest for a wealthy British husband.

Not necessarily true. My father-in-law was the only wage earner, he supported his wife and two kids fine. Also my husband's wage could support us if I wasn't working. It would be an exercise in extreme frugality but we could pay all the bills and eat real food and not go into debt.

I live in rural Wales though.

[Dee-Dee]

Absolutely. In fact, I met girls at my small liberal arts college who were open and proud of strictly being at college to get their MRS degree. Plus, in the small Dutch community where I grew up, the other big thing was to get "pearled". Basically it was a pre-engagment ring that you would get from your high school boyfriend who would later propose. Of course, some of the boys upped the anty and would give diamond "pearl" rings....so the girls would end up getting 2 engagement rings.

Craziness.

[catdogandbirdmommy]

Absolutely. In fact, I met girls at my small liberal arts college who were open and proud of strictly being at college to get their MRS degree. Plus, in the small Dutch community where I grew up, the other big thing was to get "pearled". Basically it was a pre-engagment ring that you would get from your high school boyfriend who would later propose. Of course, some of the boys upped the anty and would give diamond "pearl" rings....so the girls would end up getting 2 engagement rings.

Craziness.

I have never had a guy even give me a ring like that and I am older than that except for a guy friend who gave me a friendship ring thinking we would become an item. An ex boyfriend gave me an id bracelet which I would like to return to him if I ever find him, but that's about it. I wonder where these types of men are who give these rings because I don't run into them that much. All I seem to find (and certainly much younger)are men where the only thing they are willing to give freely are STDs.

[Gizmola]

It was pretty much given that most of the sorority girls in college were there for their MRS degree. In fact, I rather assumed in high school that most of the cheerleaders were only headed off to college to join a sorority, find a pre-law gentleman and get married. SAHMs were the norm in my childhood; my mom was one of the few (very, very few) I knew who worked.

I admit that while I didn't go to get my MRS, I did date my high school sweetheart/college boyfriend assuming we'd marry once we graduated and that if we had a child I'd not work. It just seemed normal. Until he came out by trying to seduce my best friend. Now he lives with his husband (I guess he got his MR degree) and I'm a single, working chick.

But the MRS degree thing just doesn't sound that antiquated to me. And I admit that I am very, very predisposed to be uncomfortable with a man who makes less than me or is less employed than me. I've had two exes with less than stellar work histories and stories of how they were being "oppressed," etc. so it's a really touchy subject with me. I am also very, very uncomfortable with anyone "needing" me or being dependent upon me in any way, so I would be really uncomfortable with having to financially support a husband. In fact, my problem with dependency probably precludes me from having a husband to start with.

[Lady_M]

Absolutely. In fact, I met girls at my small liberal arts college who were open and proud of strictly being at college to get their MRS degree. Plus, in the small Dutch community where I grew up, the other big thing was to get "pearled". Basically it was a pre-engagment ring that you would get from your high school boyfriend who would later propose. Of course, some of the boys upped the anty and would give diamond "pearl" rings....so the girls would end up getting 2 engagement rings.

Craziness.

Now I'm curious...I lived in a place where getting "pearled" was a thing too. I'd never heard of the phenomenon outside of that community.

[Hisey]

I have to say, Ypestis post reeks of snobbery and fear to me.

First of all, I was an English major in college, yet I've always managed to earn enough to have a "comfortable lifestyle." I know several photographers who support their families on their income. Why would Ypestis assume that those in the arts, or english cannot earn a comfortable lifestyle? It doesn't take that much to be comfortable in the US. I have electricity, a car, a nice home, a few vacations. What do you mean by "comfortable lifestyle"? Rich?

Why is finance and engineering (and, I assume, medicine) considered the only financially sound careers, in your book? Frankly, my close friend is an internist and she doesn't make much at all. Medicine is not the big money-maker it once was, particularly in primary care. I guess I don't understand the assumption that finance, medicine or engineering are the best choices. Shouldn't we be doing what we like and are good at?

I admire people who pursue careers in the things they love. It never occurred to me to look down on women who chose careers in the liberal arts and assume they were seeking an MRS. If Yprestis' arts-loving friends are planning on an upper middle class lifestyle, maybe they are just highly confident in their abilities (even if she is not).

Even if they are hoping for a husband to support them. . . isn't feminism all about choice? And if it is OK with their husbands-to-be, why would anyone else care?

Trust me, I know many people who went into the supposed "high-paying careers" -- like law-- who are struggling to earn a living. They were not successful at their career because they didn't love it. They did it because that's what their parents wanted.

[YPestis]

I have to say, Ypestis post reeks of snobbery and fear to me.

First of all, I was an English major in college, yet I've always managed to earn enough to have a "comfortable lifestyle." I know several photographers who support their families on their income. Why would Ypestis assume that those in the arts, or english cannot earn a comfortable lifestyle? It doesn't take that much to be comfortable in the US. I have electricity, a car, a nice home, a few vacations. What do you mean by "comfortable lifestyle"? Rich?

I did a second major in literature in college so no snobbery regarding the liberal arts. And what it is about my post that "reeks of fear"? You think I have some hidden fear of SAHM? I don't see any with pitch forks outside my window so I'll hold off on barricading myself. :lol:

I had a friend who wanted to be a serious writer. She wrote prolifically in college and suffered through multiple rejections. However, that's how writers get started. They write and write and write. Then they buckle down and grow a thick skin as rejections pile up.

My friend knew she could never survive on the income of a writer as a college grad. She prepared or a backup career while continuing to pursue her writing. She knows she may never support herself with her writings and prepares for that. That is a liberal arts major who is most definitely not going for their MRS degree.

My post on MRS liberal arts majors are pointing to those biding their time with degrees. Girls who do not take their studies seriously, who choose those areas of study with no career intentions in mind.

Why is finance and engineering (and, I assume, medicine) considered the only financially sound careers, in your book? Frankly, my close friend is an internist and she doesn't make much at all. Medicine is not the big money-maker it once was, particularly in primary care. I guess I don't understand the assumption that finance, medicine or engineering are the best choices. Shouldn't we be doing what we like and are good at?

I never said that finance and engineering and medicine were the ONLY financially solid career. Or that people should ONLY pick those careers. I was pointing out that men tend to go into them more because they pay more, on average. There are far more starving artists than starving accountants. Men are more likely to gravitate to low-risk careers because they still see themselves as providers.

Statistically, medicine, finance and engineering fields pay more than those who work as photographers or in the humanities. The anecdotal evidence you provide does not negate that fact.

Any serious artist will tell you that they must love the arts more than money and fame to stomach it as a career.

Engineering, accounting, even medicine are also chosen by people who enjoy those professions and are good at it, but they are not high-risk careers. People seek those careers because they offer financial security through those jobs. And there is nothing wrong with wanting financial security.

Btw, I don't know what your friend considers "not much", but I'm also in primary care and I'm happy with what my career pays, even as a resident. In the future, my salary will allow me to provide nicely for my family. Certainly nicer than what I grew up with. Don't feel too sorry for us primary care docs, we're not rich but we are not starving either!

I admire people who pursue careers in the things they love. It never occurred to me to look down on women who chose careers in the liberal arts and assume they were seeking an MRS. If Yprestis' arts-loving friends are planning on an upper middle class lifestyle, maybe they are just highly confident in their abilities (even if she is not).

I have confidence in those that work hard. Abilities are nothing without sweat. The MRS girls are not breaking a sweat over their career options. More than finance and engineering, the arts require total dedication and focus. Not someone skating by on their history degree.

Even if they are hoping for a husband to support them. . . isn't feminism all about choice? And if it is OK with their husbands-to-be, why would anyone else care?

There's nothing wrong with staying home. It's only when the women makes herself unmarketable that is worrisome. My husband supported me while I was in school. However, if the three D's hit him now (death, divorce, disability), I can use my degree to support the entire family. That's the difference between me and the MRS ladies. We can both stay home, but only one of us may have the option of financially supporting the family ourselves.

Trust me, I know many people who went into the supposed "high-paying careers" -- like law-- who are struggling to earn a living. They were not successful at their career because they didn't love it. They did it because that's what their parents wanted.

Since when is law outside of graduating from a T15 school "high paying". :D The legal field has lived on a binomial income distribution since at least the 1990's. The six figure offers from the likes of Cravath, Swaine & Moore are reserved for the elite graduates of a top 15 law schools. If you think my attitude is snobbish, try the legal market. You don't get have a degree from a top 15 law school, the top firms won't even look at your resume.

One last item, I think it's presumptive to assume that people who are not successful at their career because they don't "love it". Plenty of people support their families with jobs they don't like. Maybe they stick with their miserable job because their financial responsibility to their family is more important than personal gratification?

Also, not everyone who loves their job are good at it, or can make a living from it. Devotion and love comes in gradients. You can love something but not be good enough to support yourself. You can dedicate yourself to a craft that one one wants to pay for.

You are lucky if the only people you know who are bad at their jobs are those who lack passion. I know people who have passion and dedication and still fail at what they love.

[Pudicitia]

I went to Embra Uni and everything was about what school you went to and how you spoke. I was the only state school graduate in my class and I didn't even get some things - what's "diagramming sentences"? We had the SRA workbook, was it like that? (Hint: No.)

I was too ashamed to put my hand up and say I didn't know what diagramming meant. I sat next to my mate who had been to Eton and asked him to explain things to me. I was about as far from an MRS degree as anyone could be who was the "class chav" :lol:

JesusFightClub, you're bringing back memories of the students who lived across the way from my parents' house in Edin one year, who all seemed to be called things like Horace and Ophelia, and hung pheasants off their balcony...

[Hisey]

Since when is law outside of graduating from a T15 school "high paying". :D The legal field has lived on a binomial income distribution since at least the 1990's. The six figure offers from the likes of Cravath, Swaine & Moore are reserved for the elite graduates of a top 15 law schools. If you think my attitude is snobbish, try the legal market. You don't get have a degree from a top 15 law school, the top firms won't even look at your resume.

Why must a lawyer practice in an elite firm? Why would I want a "top firm" to look at my resume? Is practicing law about practicing law, or is it about getting into a top firm? This is what I meant about snobbery, Yprestis, though I am afraid I came across as unkind.

I worked at an "elite firm" after college (as a paralegal), and I saw how those lawyers live. I didn't consider that lifestyle to be desirable at all, either for myself as a single woman, or myself as a mom. Maybe some of the women you knew felt that way, too.

I also went to law school--not a top 15 law school--but a good one. I got a job right out of law school (though I ranked near the bottom quarter). It was an excellent job, with good pay. I didn't make anywhere near what I'd've made at Cravath, Swaine, but--so what? I made a "comfortable living" though I was not rich. My point is, you don't have to follow that Ivy League college/IIvy law school/Cravath pathway in order to be comfortable.

Certainly there is nothing wrong with desiring financial security through the Ivy-League/Cravath speedway to success. But women who seem unconcerned about following that route aren't necessarily abandoning all hope of future financial security. You never know what they're private financial situations are. Maybe they have skills or money or connections you don't know about. It sounds as if you are criticizing every who is not as "serious" about going to professional school as you are.

I'm a bit biased, since I'm now a SAHM, but I am surprised no one is talking about the importance of investing in our kids. I think my years as a SAHM is far more valuable than anything else I've ever done, and worth every financial sacrifice. If I were working at Cravath, I'd rarely see my little girls, and that wouldn't be worth the big chunk of change I'd be earning. I may not be "using" my degrees (I have 3) by earning money, but I use them every day in shaping two little lives.

[meda]

Hisey, I feel like you are mommy war-ing a bit here. Are women who have children and continue to work not "investing" in their children? For all you critique other for snobbery and fear, that is bit of an elitist idea. I am a successful professional ( also not tier 1 law, but I do pretty well) in part because my mother and father both worked, which enabled me to grow up with the model of a woman who was able to escape childhood poverty because of education and a career, and of egalitarian parenting.

[bananacat]

I'll be honest and say my B.S. degree was a total MRS degree. I was desperate to get married ASAP so that I didn't have to go back home.

I started out pre-vet/Animal Science (way way fun!) and switched to Family and Child Development/Human Services (easier As, but still pretty fun since I like hanging out with different kinds of people). Both are worthwhile pursuits I feel but at 18-21 I had no fucking clue what I wanted. Other than to be anywhere but at home.

Given that there's plenty of asshole parents still out there, I'd not be surprised if that particular angle of MRS degree still exists. It's a socially sanctioned escape from a hellish conservative home life.

But couldn't you find a husband without paying to go to school? That's a really expensive way to just kill time until you're married.

[Hisey]

Hisey, I feel like you are mommy war-ing a bit here. Are women who have children and continue to work not "investing" in their children? For all you critique other for snobbery and fear, that is bit of an elitist idea. I am a successful professional ( also not tier 1 law, but I do pretty well) in part because my mother and father both worked, which enabled me to grow up with the model of a woman who was able to escape childhood poverty because of education and a career, and of egalitarian parenting.

Of course, working moms invest in their kids. I have been a working mom. I have nothing but respect for them. However, all this talk about "wasting her degree" by staying at home seems to denigrate another, perfectly acceptable, career choice--raising kids.

Yale and Harvard don't require students to sign a paper saying they are going to "use" their degrees all their lives. So I can't imagine a bunch of undergrads sitting around deciding whehter a classmates deserves a degree from their fancy college, just because that classmates is seeking somethign so lowly as raising kids. My point is--I don't think it's that lowly.

[Rosie]

I'll be honest and say my B.S. degree was a total MRS degree. I was desperate to get married ASAP so that I didn't have to go back home.

I started out pre-vet/Animal Science (way way fun!) and switched to Family and Child Development/Human Services (easier As, but still pretty fun since I like hanging out with different kinds of people). Both are worthwhile pursuits I feel but at 18-21 I had no fucking clue what I wanted. Other than to be anywhere but at home.

Given that there's plenty of asshole parents still out there, I'd not be surprised if that particular angle of MRS degree still exists. It's a socially sanctioned escape from a hellish conservative home life.

This is a false dichotomy. Millions of women finish school, work, and stay single for awhile (or forever), living independently and separate from their parents. There is no reason for getting married to be the only means of avoiding returning home.

I don't get this *at all*.

[YPestis]

Why must a lawyer practice in an elite firm? Why would I want a "top firm" to look at my resume? Is practicing law about practicing law, or is it about getting into a top firm? This is what I meant about snobbery, Yprestis, though I am afraid I came across as unkind.

I worked at an "elite firm" after college (as a paralegal), and I saw how those lawyers live. I didn't consider that lifestyle to be desirable at all, either for myself as a single woman, or myself as a mom. Maybe some of the women you knew felt that way, too.

I also went to law school--not a top 15 law school--but a good one. I got a job right out of law school (though I ranked near the bottom quarter). It was an excellent job, with good pay. I didn't make anywhere near what I'd've made at Cravath, Swaine, but--so what? I made a "comfortable living" though I was not rich. My point is, you don't have to follow that Ivy League college/IIvy law school/Cravath pathway in order to be comfortable.

Ok, I only brought up that law school thing because you said you considered law to be lucrative. I was pointing out that is no longer the case. However, I NEVER said one must go to an elite law school. Only that, these days, the typical high paying law firms would only consider a T15 law school. It's the unfortunate aspect of the legal market. Maybe when you graduated, the market was better. These days, even lawyers from "good" schools struggle to find jobs.

However, it's not "snobbery" for me to say that to make more money, one has to have certain credentials. That's what I mean when I said that one must go to an elite law school to really make law lucrative.

That said, everyone's definition of comfortable is different. For me, it means supporting a family with extra cash to splurge on stuff without worry. That's my personal definition. Some people may include having expensive vacations twice a year, and others mean having enough food on the table. Whatever your definition of comfortable, it's important to be able to work in case something happens and you need to support the family in that lifestyle. I don't find MRS girls have a well thought out plan in this regard.

Certainly there is nothing wrong with desiring financial security through the Ivy-League/Cravath speedway to success. But women who seem unconcerned about following that route aren't necessarily abandoning all hope of future financial security. You never know what they're private financial situations are. Maybe they have skills or money or connections you don't know about. It sounds as if you are criticizing every who is not as "serious" about going to professional school as you are.

I don't think there's only two options for women: that of being a SAHM or a hard hitting career women at an elite job. Plenty of women make compromises on their career choices. This thread is discussing women who do not take their financial future "seriously"....ie. they have no discernible plans for their future other than the get a husband and depend on him.

As my OP indicates, the MRS girls are NOT preparing for the risk of losing their financial provider. A husband is not a job! Girls *should* take their college days seriously . Those are prime days to lay the ground work for their financial future, regardless of whether they want to be a SAHM or not.

You are right, I don't know these MRS girls' situation. However, I don't think I'm criticizing people who aren't "as serious" about careers as me. I'm criticizing those that do not take their financial security seriously. I'm not criticizing the girls getting their teaching degree or nursing degree even though they pay relatively modest. Why not? Because that's a plan. Blowing off your college years by dialing in on a literature degree with no plans of getting a job is not a plan. I don't care how skilled, connected or wealthy you are. It's a waste of human potential and it makes you vulnerable to financial poverty later on in life if they continue that attitude.

I'm a bit biased, since I'm now a SAHM, but I am surprised no one is talking about the importance of investing in our kids. I think my years as a SAHM is far more valuable than anything else I've ever done, and worth every financial sacrifice. If I were working at Cravath, I'd rarely see my little girls, and that wouldn't be worth the big chunk of change I'd be earning. I may not be "using" my degrees (I have 3) by earning money, but I use them every day in shaping two little lives.

For me, the ultimate investment in my children's future is to be able to provide for them even if daddy isn't able. You can be a SAHM and a good provider, maybe not at the same time. For example, I can stay home for ten years. As long as I maintain my medical license, I can re-enter the work force and get paid a decent a good salary if hubby wanks out on me.

You mention being an SAHM is a way to invest in your children. However, who is the better parent, one can stay home re-enter the work force when daddy loses job? Or one who has to apply for welfare and work at a minimal wage job with no health insurance? Girls who prepare for jobs, even when they don't use it are the former. MRS girls are the latter. SAHM is not a bad thing, but one has to be smart about preparing to be one, and always prepared to work again.

Remember, just because one attends a T10 law school, or med school, or get an MBA from Wharton, doesn't mean she can't stay home when and if it suits her family's needs.

[gimlet]

The thing about law school is that 1) it's incredibly expensive, 2) lower tier law schools proliferate and offer students scholarships that are often revoked after the first year and 3) if you're going to take on $100-200 grand for law school, how are you going to secure a job to pay back those private loans if the market is glutted? So yes, go to law school for the experience if you've got the money, but don't depend on the job market because it's been bad since 2001.