What is the craziest thing you'd do for Jesus?

[DarkAnts]

Get a TARDIS, take him off the damn cross before he died, and prevent all this fuckery in his name.

Have you not seen the Life of Brian? They would have found someone else.

[DarkAnts]

I don't get this. I thought the whole point of Christ sacrificing for mankind was that you didn't have to go crazy -- you just had to accept Him. Or something.

Depends on the flavor of Christianity. Some groups say you can be saved by faith alone. Others say faith and good works. Others say you are predestined to go to heaven or hell.

[Patsy]

Joseph gave “Who Is Jesus Session to You?†to the young people.

"Who Really Is Jesus to You?"

"Who is Jesus to You?"

"Who Is Jesus Session to You?" Perfect!

[debrand]

I'd be nice to people, feed the homeless and visit a few people in prison. You know, the things that Jesus said to do. Although it would be nice to save his life and bring him to our time period but I'm pretty certain that a far right radical would still kill him. Biblical Jesus is NOT the Jesus that the modern right follows.

Jesus' actual words seem easy to follow. He didn't teach anything that was drastically different than what Judiasm already teaches. Mostly he taught people to just be decent to one another. For some reason, his followers have a very difficult time not judging others or being compassionate to the poor.

[Mela99]

Uhm.... make him some grilled cheese, toast and pancakes, seeing as how his image shows up on them the most. I assume they're his faves.

Tbh I'd like to pour him some good wine and rap together about the shitty state of the world and offer to do more crazy stuff if he makes the GOP non-existent/less bat shit woman hating crazy.

Oh, and the man has never had Oreos, Magnum Bars, or Easy Mac. I'd take him on a cultural food tour.

[ElphabaGalinda]

I'd take him to meet the Maxwells, the Duggars and all other fundie families to tell them they're doing it wrong and that he's not pleased with them. Though even if Jesus himself said so, I doubt they'd listen.

But since I don't actually think that's possible, I wouldn't do anything for Jesus. There are, however, many things I would do for a Klondike bar.

[Guest Anonymous]

I don't get this. I thought the whole point of Christ sacrificing for mankind was that you didn't have to go crazy -- you just had to accept Him. Or something.

This. I read part of the Left Behind series and I could not understand why they wanted everyone to pray for salvation. The way I understand it is if you believe with your heart then that's enough. However the main theme in those books and actually in a lot of churches I have been to is that you HAVE to pray and confess your sins. There was a girl in the books who believed but because she had not prayed the Salvation Prayer she was doomed to hell and didn't get the mark of the believer.

Is there anything in the bible that says you HAVE to pray for salvation or is that just something someone e decided sounded good?

[clicker dies]

I think that a lot of people are already showing the craziest things that can be done for Jesus. Murder, oppression, hating people, Jesus camp. I'd have a hard time matching their game.

[DarkAnts]

I'd take him to meet the Maxwells, the Duggars and all other fundie families to tell them they're doing it wrong and that he's not pleased with them. Though even if Jesus himself said so, I doubt they'd listen.

But since I don't actually think that's possible, I wouldn't do anything for Jesus. There are, however, many things I would do for a Klondike bar.

Screw that, I would take him to pride and perhaps a gay bar.

[darareaksmey]

For Jesus? I should think a God has no need for people to do “crazy†things for him.quote]

QFT. Pretty sure Jesus would like to bitch-slap these people for trying to one-up each other playing games about what they would do in his name.

[ElphabaGalinda]

Screw that, I would take him to pride and perhaps a gay bar.

I think Jesus would enjoy that. I'm sure he can do both :D I also think if Jesus had been around in the time of pride parades, he'd be the first one marching. He can turn water into alcoholic beverages (if he can do wine, I bet he can do them all)...it'd save you lots of money on drinks!

[freejoytoo]

I'd be nice to people, feed the homeless and visit a few people in prison. You know, the things that Jesus said to do. Although it would be nice to save his life and bring him to our time period but I'm pretty certain that a far right radical would still kill him. Biblical Jesus is NOT the Jesus that the modern right follows.

Jesus' actual words seem easy to follow. He didn't teach anything that was drastically different than what Judiasm already teaches. Mostly he taught people to just be decent to one another. For some reason, his followers have a very difficult time not judging others or being compassionate to the poor.

Posted this on another forum and all the poor religious people acted all persecuted and said they knew Christians who LOVE the poor. Doesn't change the fact that the Christians I know are very conservative and love nothing more than a whinge about scroungers of he state :roll:

I'll come along to the gay bar. Bet Jesus would love a cocktail.

[Deleted01]

This. I read part of the Left Behind series and I could not understand why they wanted everyone to pray for salvation. The way I understand it is if you believe with your heart then that's enough. However the main theme in those books and actually in a lot of churches I have been to is that you HAVE to pray and confess your sins. There was a girl in the books who believed but because she had not prayed the Salvation Prayer she was doomed to hell and didn't get the mark of the believer.

Is there anything in the bible that says you HAVE to pray for salvation or is that just something someone e decided sounded good?

Praying to "get saved" by "asking Jesus into your heart" is a fundie invention that has absolutely no basis in Scriptre.

[Moonbeam]

It turns out such an act of will is not a one-time thing. I had to do it every day for a few weeks, then every few days, and now it's down to about twice a month that I have to forgive yet again.

I tell clients forgiveness is not a destination or event, it's a process, sometimes winding. It's also not about the other person, it's about the person doing the forgiveness and letting go of the anger and desire for justice or retribution. Sometimes it takes a long time and is rather complicated. This is why I think it's goofy when people (fundies) try to oversimplify it and just tell people to forgive, like BAM it's done.

[Closed Womb]

Dammit. Now I have "what would you dooOOOooo?? ...for your Jesus Christ" to the tune of the Klondike ad, in my head.

Glad I'm not the only one.

Also, I think I might adopt "Jesus Christ with a Klondike Bar" as my new "dafuq did she just say" expression.

[debrand]

Posted this on another forum and all the poor religious people acted all persecuted and said they knew Christians who LOVE the poor. Doesn't change the fact that the Christians I know are very conservative and love nothing more than a whinge about scroungers of he state :roll:

I'll come along to the gay bar. Bet Jesus would love a cocktail.

Well, if you used my exact words, you can point out that I did not say all Christians, just right wing ones. It always amazes me that no matter how someone modifies critical statements about Christians, right wing/evangelicals/conservatives will get offended. If someone said that extremists nonChristians were doing something negative, I would assume that they weren't including me in the group. After all, I'm not an extremist. As long as the person isn't judging all nonChristians by those few, I wouldn't feel the need to point out that there are many good people who disbelieve in Jesus.

My spell check is not working today. Sorry about the mistakes

[Little_Eyes]

IvVr2uks0C8

Jesus...Christ.... .Klondike Barrr....

[Antigone]

It's tough to say, since everyone pretty much said what I had thought up. So I'd probably treat it as any other day and make him a nice cup of tea and just chat with him. Probably ask him about my family members who made it on the other side, and who didn't. I have a new fasnication with Long Island Medium and Breaking Amish (is that the name of the show? I can't recall, even if I did watch it last night).

Plus, I'd have him turn a case of water into a case of Sev's favorite beer. Perhaps ask him if he could cure some diseases or something while he's around. Miracles rock.

Keeping it simple, because if I think harder, my head will hurt. Then I'll end up feeling sad, since I have a huge soft spot for, well, everybody ( or at least, almost everybody- I don't have a spot for the Pearls and their ilk).

[wallfly]

We moved from our beautiful suburban home into an economically depressed downtown of a Canadian city that others can't wait to move out of. We moved here to love some inner city kids and to be of some use. The headship is leaving the corporate world and a comfy salary to be a bus driver so he can bring some humour and a smile to the marginalized people he has grown to love.

[Guest Anonymous]

We moved from our beautiful suburban home into an economically depressed downtown of a Canadian city that others can't wait to move out of. We moved here to love some inner city kids and to be of some use. The headship is leaving the corporate world and a comfy salary to be a bus driver so he can bring some humour and a smile to the marginalized people he has grown to love.

I don't understand, are you doing that for Jesus?

[wallfly]

I don't understand, are you doing that for Jesus?

We are doing what we think Jesus requires of us at this stage of our life.

[Guest Anonymous]

We are doing what we think Jesus requires of us at this stage of our life.

I don't know your story (Heck, I haven't even read this whole thread!) but I'm going to suggest you don't do that. As much as we inner city-dwellers are lepers, crying out for your magic Jesus touch, I don't think your intensely patronizing,* moving-to-a-neighbourhood-as-charity approach is going to be met with much of a positive response.

*I base my use of the word "patronizing" on this little gem:

...so he can bring some humour and a smile to the marginalized people he has grown to love.

[mirele]

We are doing what we think Jesus requires of us at this stage of our life.

Not trying to be sarcastic, but how do you know this is Jesus telling you to do this?

I mean, seriously, I've heard a lot of people over my 50+ years of life telling me, "Well, the Savior told me this" and "Jesus told me to do that..." and ending up with "The Savior is telling me to tell you to think/do this..."

I think that's been the hardest part of the last several years of my life, which is realizing that no, I don't have a hotline to God, no, I'm not hearing from the Savior, no, the Holy Ghost is not that still small voice whispering to me, I'm the one who has to make the decisions here. It would be interesting if Jesus really did tell people what to do, but if he told me to do something I thought was absolutely whack, I wouldn't do it! God or not, he doesn't live my life, I do.

[emmiedahl]

I don't know your story (Heck, I haven't even read this whole thread!) but I'm going to suggest you don't do that. As much as we inner city-dwellers are lepers, crying out for your magic Jesus touch, I don't think your intensely patronizing,* moving-to-a-neighbourhood-as-charity approach is going to be met with much of a positive response.

*I base my use of the word "patronizing" on this little gem:

Not to mention that it reaks of missionary bullshit.

Listen, Wallfly, I am poor and I can verify that smiles are free. We poor people smile and laugh and love. Every weekend, assholes proselytizers descend on my building to bring us the joy of fucking Christ. I am actually thrilled with my life right now. My biggest stressors are money and medical school drama.

The best thing you could do would be to keep the high-paying career and donate to causes that will give the tangible help people need. Of course you won't be able pat yourself on the back or cry in big black Jan Crouch tears of sympathy, but you will be giving them something they don't already have.

[treemom]

Can I gay polygamously marry you emmie?