Satan wants your firstborn...

[heinz57]

This 'interesting' article came up on my newsfeed;

:shock: I just really felt compelled to share this one, but I have no words right now for a retort, but thought you guys would definitely have some words for this!

Your interpretation is far too restrictive - Satan wants all the firsts.

So also your first...

T- Thread on FJ

O- Octopus salad with young potatoes, garlic, red onion and a dash of olive oil

O- Ottawa city-plan

L- Large latte in the morning

[Visionoyahweh]

S. M. Davis sent his own daughter to Hephzibah House.

Need I say more?

Piece of shit.

[Didi]

I literally laughed outloud at the "when satan came for Josh, Josh ate him"

This guy is kind of a freak and did anyone else notice it says "spells out respect", but it spells out chastise....

[fundiefan]

I have a fundie reason for not procreating! I didn't want Satan to get my firstborn so I had none to smite him!

[Mela99]

I think this guy got Satan & Rumpelstiltskin mixed up.

Damn. You beat me to the joke. Good show.

[notacleverpony]

I think this guy got Satan & Rumpelstiltskin mixed up.

Ooooh, I hope so! I'm a firstborn, after all! I mean, consider the evidence:

HELLOOOO, NURSE! If Rumpelstiltskin wants me, hell, I'll add gift wrap free of charge! *wolf whistle!*

[ADoyle90815]

:D OMG you totally made me LOL! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Same here. It's a good thing I learned early on not to drink anything while reading this board.

[thoughtful]

S – Spank with a rod (verses your hand).

Verses = chunks of a poem or song, or, y'know, that Bible thing you fundies love to take literally misinterpret.

versus = against, as opposed to, in contrast with

I guess you need to be CHASTISED, fundie dude. Get the plumbing line.

[Mela99]

:D OMG you totally made me LOL! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cackle, cackle, cackle.

I have no idea why, but I can't stop cracking up right now.

[FundieWatcher]

This all makes even more sense now. Josh was forced to have a life totally devoted to serving God because he was the first born.

Guess Satan won after all. :roll: