Maxhell- Summer with the Maxwells Pt 3

[WonderingInWA]

3 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I cannot imagine personal scheduling conflicts are frequent problem though. Where in the world would any of them be allowed to go? 

Well, and who would have the nerve to schedule anything that would conflict with the home meal schedule???  I'm thinking that is strongly discouraged, if not prohibited.

[Suz8710]

1 hour ago, Green Glass said:

Does that post kind of seem contradictory to anyone else? The meals are at the same time daily so people how when they'll be and won't have to ask, but if a family member has something that would make dinner later or earlier, they can be flexible? So there may be some cases when they DO have to ask what time dinner will be?

Yes it does! I also wonder how many people would they have to be flexible for? Don't several of the girls do the cooking? That only leaves a few folks with a schedule...and if we're being realistic, its probably not Mom & Dad. 

On another note, is the fair they are referring to their local county fair? 

[molecule]

That is the stupidest, least necessary post I've ever read on that blog. And couldn't they have included food in the picture? I hope someone gets married soon so they have something interesting to write about. Even a post on how to cut lettuce with a pizza cutter would be fascinating in comparison to this.

[Season of life...]

"I expect your family will like knowing they can count on meals at a particular time and that those expectations will be fulfilled."'

I expect they would like it a lot, but see, that's a problem for me. I don't want any of my family to get their expectations too high. Expectations that I have no plans to righteously fulfill. Expectations and assumptions lead to disappointment, and from there the whole gosh darn family dynamic is in shambles. Trust issues ensue. I'm not setting a timer. I'm putting my book down or turning off Netflix when I'm good and ready.

A piping hot casserole on the table by 6 on the dot every night just isn't worth the pain for me, Teri. It's not worth the pain...

All joking aside, this sounds so grim to me. No matter what, your butt is expected to be seated at that table, come what may, twice every day. If there is a conflict, the time will change, but eat with the family you will. I have a feeling if a scheduling conflict does comes up, it is usually family-wide, so everyone would need the meal time adjusted.

I wonder if this is an edict from Steve to help assert his control over the home environment. I also wonder, if someone is a little late, do they still get to eat?

Those "kids" still at home appear to have no personal agency at all.

[Dandruff]

Quote

"Family members counting on the consistency of the meal times for their personal scheduling needs."

So I guess they know when not to schedule trips to the potty.  Wouldn't surprise me, it really wouldn't.

[WonderingInWA]

1 hour ago, Season of life... said:

I wonder if this is an edict from Steve to help assert his control over the home environment. I also wonder, if someone is a little late, do they still get to eat?

 

There is probably a demerit system of some kind.  Or maybe if you're late, you get two animal crackers while you watch everyone else eat.

[SPHASH]

On Tuesday, August 02, 2016 at 4:11 PM, kaschmit said:

Th Blog has a really good summ ary. Sometimes FF summaries are too long:

https://sarahpalinhasaserpentsheart.blogspot.com/2013/12/meet-family-more-nuttier-than-duggars.html

Hey thanks for postingX a link ti

[RoseWilder]

Wow, that post on scheduling meal times was probably the most ridiculous and the saddest post I've ever read. It really became clear to me in that post how hard Teri is struggling to cope. Stable people don't have to set a timer to remind themselves to make dinner. They don't have to make a rigid schedule for mealtimes. They don't have to treat a family member not being able to make it to dinner like it's a federal emergency that requires a meeting to iron out the problem.

Good grief Steve, get your wife some real help for her depression so she's not hanging on by a thread all the time. And while you're at it Steve, go to hell. Oh wait, I forgot, your family is already living in the never-ending hell you've created for them.

[Granwych]

2 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Rescheduling the entire meal to suit one person seems like a passive aggresive move to me.  "Oh, you can't make it to dinner?  Don't worry, we can reschedule the whole family just for you, it's really no trouble."

Oh, come on, everybody knows that every. damn. event. in Maxwelland is scheduled around big daddy Steve's edicts. 

[SparkleMomma]

My 2 and 3 year olds have more flexibility in their eating schedule than this family. What would happen if someone removed all the timers and schedules from Maxhell? Would they forget to eat dinner? Forget to clean the ceiling fans? I imagine that it would be rather like the purge. 

[CyborgKin]

1 hour ago, SparkleMomma said:

My 2 and 3 year olds have more flexibility in their eating schedule than this family. What would happen if someone removed all the timers and schedules from Maxhell? Would they forget to eat dinner? Forget to clean the ceiling fans? I imagine that it would be rather like the purge. 

That's a facet I need to work into a story I'm writing.

[Jana814]

I honestly think the whole schedule thing is all Steve's doing. He has to control everything. Someone might say that it is wonderful that they have 2 meals together everyday but that is just part of the control. 

[FloraKitty35]

On 8/2/2016 at 9:45 PM, Season of life... said:

Her haunting refrain, "Do you know where you are going when you die???" probably factored into many a small child's nightmares.

I thought of The Simpsons  about the clown related nightmares that Lolly could have induced. 

 

[Chevreuil]

4 hours ago, Season of life... said:

[snip]

I wonder if this is an edict from Steve to help assert his control over the home environment. I also wonder, if someone is a little late, do they still get to eat?

Those "kids" still at home appear to have no personal agency at all.

I have a feeling that everyone is made to wait for the late person with steve growing ever more angry with each passing minute. If anyone dares mention they are hungry (i am sure they have stopped daring a long time ago) steve will remind them through clenched teeth thar they eat when everyone is present. When the late comer finally shows up they then have to listen to a lecture on puncuality while the rest of the family stares down at their dinner that is getting colder and colder, their resentment towards the "guilty" person growing while the "guilty" person is embarrassed into submission and fear of the reprecussions from the rest of the family and steve. Steve would then end his lecture in a prayer directed at the late person to really hammer in the message and finally the family eats their cold food in silence so as not to bring on any further wrath from a pissed off steve. I think a narcassist like steve would use the resentment of the family and the lord to keep a person in line rather than denying them food since kicking someone out of dinner would go against the schedule.

Maybe i'm wrong as i dont keep up with the maxwells that much, and i only know about them from reading here.

[FloraDoraDolly]

The entire Maxwell household is now made up of ADULTS. In every other household I know of where the adult kids live with the parents or vice versa, they do not eat every freakin' meal together! Nor do they keep to a strict schedule. (The exception might be families with a disabled adult who requires assistance with eating or meal preparation.) For breakfast and lunch in particular, even kids are usually on their own. From the time I was 5 years old, I pretty much ate whenever I wanted during summer vacation. Once I learned how to pour my own cereal and fix a peanut butter sandwich, I was good to go. My mom has always been big on family dinners, but if my sister or I weren't going to be home on a particular day, we'd just tell her ahead of time so she wouldn't waste a pork chop or whatever. Then when we came home from school or work, we'd fix our own dinner, or stop at McDonald's along the way.

I think Teri exacerbates her depression and anxiety by insisting on such strict routines instead of letting go and allowing her adult children to do their own thing. If the Maxwell kids really are earning their own incomes (as Steve says they do), then they should have enough money to stop on the way home and pick up some food. Their mother shouldn't be sitting at home stewing over when John or Jesse is going to eat lunch.

[lauraloralara]

Like most things with the Maxwells, this comes from a kernel of a decent idea that got blown out of proportion. There are many people who make dinner a priority for their family or who try to have it at a set time every day, but good God. Rescheduling the whole affair because one person is going to be held up from... doing what, exactly? Accosting kids in the name of Jesus at the county fair? Making OCC boxes?

[Eternalbluepearl]

13 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I cannot imagine personal scheduling conflicts are frequent problem though. Where in the world would any of them be allowed to go? 

Right? We know the schedule-interrupter would likely only be at a sibling's house anyway. They could just eat with the "relatives" at 6 pm sharp, obviously. Washing windows to bless a sister-in-law must really work up an appetite (for getting the hell out of there...)

5 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

The entire Maxwell household is now made up of ADULTS. In every other household I know of where the adult kids live with the parents or vice versa, they do not eat every freakin' meal together! Nor do they keep to a strict schedule. 

They really do live in the land of odd. So much of what we see from the Maxwells wouldn't typically apply to adults, yet here they are. I swear there is a fundie food additive or something that keeps these adults in a permanent childhood.  It must be those family values we heathens don't understand. 

[delilahdog11]

After catching up on the threads here and reading through the past few months of the maxwell blog. What strikes me is how the Maxwells behave much like landed gentry.  Lunch & dinner are an everyday, scheduled activity that everyone that is still family is required to attend.  The blog makes it seem that they don't do much more than persue maxwell approved leisure activities and work (as in earning an income) takes little priority in their lives. 

I was also shocked that the parents left the kids home alone to go to Colorado because who would leave preteens home alone for more than a day.  And that is exactly how I view the Maxwell adults (kids) because that is how they are protrayed and talked about on their blog and in the Dad & Mom corners.  Sarah's (et al) writing style doesn't help that impression either. 

My one theory re Steve's conversion to legalism is that he saw that his wife was struggling to take care of their children and over time became concerned with leaving them at home while he was at work.   Steve may have felt compelled to stay at home and one way to mask, what he saw as taking on a female role. He decided that the lord laid it on his heart to return to his family as their protector and shepherd. I have no doubt that Teri still did most of the women work, but Steve was now at home to supervis the children and to act as a peace officer. I base all of this onthe fax he sent to Sarah. 

 

 

 

[Jessie E]

I decided to go check out Steve's wonderful blog "Seriously Dad".  Is it just me or does he really not make much sense??  A few of his posts I have gone back and read again and I honestly don't really know what point he is trying to make.  It's just God, ramble, ramble, more God, bible verse, the end.  I am looking up "Mom's Corner" next.  I only read about her Pepsi addition there so far and I don't know how that could ever be topped.  It was pretty epic! lol

[MamaJunebug]

As a fellow sufferer, I am perceiving the onset of depression in Poor Sarah's posts. 

Exhibit A

Title: "Fair"

Unwritten subtext: "I don't care anymore."

Exhibit B

Statement: "Things got very intense during the shed move."

Unwritten (literally) description of the "very intense" event -- this tells me that PS either forgot about it, forgot to write about it, or again, just didn't care enough to put in the effort it would've taken to describe what happened. "The photos will tell the story. I don't care anymore."

just a guess. But memory lapses are part & parcel of the big d. And depression runs in families. Big Mama JB had it, I have it, at least one Jr. JB has it. 

Poor, poor Poor Sarah. How I would love to sponsor her on a week at a pleasant resort with other singles her age, moderately devout and enjoying life without 24/7 contact with their parents. 

[Eternalbluepearl]

12 hours ago, Jana814 said:

I honestly think the whole schedule thing is all Steve's doing. He has to control everything. Someone might say that it is wonderful that they have 2 meals together everyday but that is just part of the control. 

You know, this post made me think... sometimes I think there is a darker control element a play in this family. It can be chilling if one reads into it too much like I tend to do. The control could be cult-like.

[fundiefan]

I think I finally understand.

When you live lives that are totally and completely separate from the rest of the world; so isolated you have zero clue how life is lived outside your cult, you think everything you do is genius and special and a new, brilliant idea.

So often, I read Maxwell posts and my first response is 'duh'. You know, how to clean, track things, organize, plan, whatever. They make a HUGE production out of the most mundane, average things in life.

They don't freaking know any better. They have zero idea that people actually have dinner plans within a family and have since, well, forever. They have zero clue that families will adjust said dinner arrangements around schedules and events and other things of life. They have no clue whatsoever that families just do this as a matter of course without needing to have some schedule to blabber about. It is not special. It is not magic. It is not new.

It is fucking life. Real life. Life outside Maxhell that to the average person is not worthy of so much attention or back patting.

Hell, I am single and live alone. The average weeknight I eat dinner at the same time in the same place; 6:30, when I get home from either work or the gym. But, you know what? Sometimes, that changes because life changes. I go to happy hour with friends; I go out to eat; I run later at work or the gym or running errands or whatever than I normally would. And, hey, get a load of this....I adjust my damn schedule to accommodate that and eat when I can.

Rocket Science. I have it.

[princessmahina]

You know what seems weirdest about this post to me? That breakfast isn't a scheduled family affair. It seems odd that they would have control over when and what they eat for breakfast. If everyone isn't sitting together, Jesse has an opportunity to snag an animal cracker and Anna gets to sneak an extra half a smoothie. Seems weird.

[delilahdog11]

I always did find it odd & off putting that they find everything about themselves to be so novel and remarkably different. When really they behave in much the same manner as heathy, functional individuals and families behave.   Family meals,close ties to siblings and parents, a shared sense of a family community and responsibility, discpline, etc.    healthy if you subtract the whole cult of Steve, Lolly the clown, fire and  brimstone thing that they have going on.  

It does seem to make sense that much of their attitude about the specialness of their family would come very being extremely cloistered from the rest of the world.  They most likely talk to people that have used their products or have implemented Steve and Teri's teachings into their own lives.   I bet they often hear about the profound impact that the Maxwell way of being has had on people's lives thus serving to confirm that the Maxwells are important and special.   

I would also suspect that Steve and Teri have no problem is pointing out the flaws and failings of other Fundementalist families.   Again confirming that the maxwells are the most christianiest, Christians that God did God.  

After all, the way they taught Sarah about the importance of modesty was to head to the airport and point out all the harlots dressed up in their slutty, Sunday bests.  No one can out God, God except the maxwells. 

[delilahdog11]

It would also be super neat and sweet if Sarah learned a bit more about dramatic irony then she might learn the difference between a surprise and a twist. 

On father's dad, she surprised Steve by having the kids write out memories they have of him. It was not a twist. There wasn't unexpected change or dramatic departure from a typical life experience shared by others. Many people write out memories of their dad on Father's Day.  It may have been a departure from what the maxwells normally do thus it was a surprise for dad. 

And SERIOUSLY, Teri??  Household cleaning items are interesting??  I honestly think she pointed that out because heaven forbid anyone think that she found tools interesting that is not the woman's domain. My now, out of the closet friend before he came out would frequent gay bars and he would make a specific point to only talk to straight girls.  Yeah my friends dragged me here but I only talk to straight girls.  Teri may be the domain of men, but she only found the cleaning products interesting. 

The maxwell way of life doesn't allow for much exploration or imagination.