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Possibly an unpopular opinion:  I don't think Teri is nearly as fragile these days as people assume.  She is a full collaborator and fellow oppressor in Steve's kingdom.  She is both victim and abuser.

Yes, she used to suffer from depression - genuine depression - that she seems to be over for whatever reason.  I suspect she had severe PPD, which wasn't helped by one session of Christian counseling and an OTC hormone cream - or by having all those reversal babies.  The all important "schedule" probably didn't help her either - except to keep the children looking after themselves and each other and away from her.  It made the home functional, not necessarily Teri. 

Teri seems OK these days.  She complains about back pain and still has the family protecting and pampering her but she has seemed very functional - probably since menopause.  The schedule still helps her to avoid what she dislikes.  

Teri is a confident public speaker, has reasonably good social skills, and actually has a bit of an edge to her in person.  I wouldn't want to cross her because I think she'd bite.  We've talked before about Teri being passive aggressive - and I think she is.  Terifying not Terified.

She is also educated, unlike her children, and has a very professional demeanor.  There is no Michele Duggar squeaky voiced submission going on - more a determination and a quiet confidence.  I think she will be just fine going to a conference by herself.

By the way, the Maxwells all weep and wail to excess - or claim to do so.  Steve sobs over the unconverted in public at conferences, Teri weeps buckets at the drop of a hat, Joseph (as reported by Teri) cries over teens who play with their cell phones and don't pay attention to his sessions at conferences.

@Elegant Mess - I said hi to Mr. P for you. He says hi back and loves your screen name! :)

 

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4 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Possibly an unpopular opinion:  I don't think Teri is nearly as fragile these days as people assume.  She is a full collaborator and fellow oppressor in Steve's kingdom.  She is both victim and abuser.

Yes, she used to suffer from depression - genuine depression - that she seems to be over for whatever reason.  I suspect she had severe PPD, which wasn't helped by one session of Christian counseling and an OTC hormone cream - or by having all those reversal babies.  The all important "schedule" probably didn't help her either - except to keep the children looking after themselves and each other and away from her.  It made the home functional, not necessarily Teri. 

Teri seems OK these days.  She complains about back pain and still has the family protecting and pampering her but she has seemed very functional - probably since menopause.  The schedule still helps her to avoid what she dislikes.  

Teri is a confident public speaker, has reasonably good social skills, and actually has a bit of an edge to her in person.  I wouldn't want to cross her because I think she'd bite.  We've talked before about Teri being passive aggressive - and I think she is.  Terifying not Terified.

She is also educated, unlike her children, and has a very professional demeanor.  There is no Michele Duggar squeaky voiced submission going on - more a determination and a quiet confidence.  I think she will be just fine going to a conference by herself.

By the way, the Maxwells all weep and wail to excess - or claim to do so.  Steve sobs over the unconverted in public at conferences, Teri weeps buckets at the drop of a hat, Joseph (as reported by Teri) cries over teens who play with their cell phones and don't pay attention to his sessions at conferences.

@Elegant Mess - I said hi to Mr. P for you. He says hi back and loves your screen name! :)

 

I certainly see your point but some of your words have described me to a T.  Only a very few people know about my anxiety - my husband, my sister and one close friend (well, and my doctor).  Nobody else would believe it if I told them I felt incapacitated moments before my daughter's wedding or that a large family gathering can throw me into a tailspin.  In fact, when I mention being anxious to some, a common response is "pfft...you've got it all together."  Some of us have learned to hide it. My reasons for hiding it are 1) there is still quite a stigma attached to anxiety disorder and 2) few people want to believe me. 

I hope you are correct about Teri. I hope she is genuinely looking forward to her trip and has, for the most part, conquered her depression and anxiety.  Perhaps I let my view be clouded by my own experience. 

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@usmcmom Oh, yes.  It could describe me as well!  I've also experienced depression and anxiety, but I take meds for them.  I'm a good but nervous public speaker too.  It's partly because this could describe me too that I'm willing to be tougher on Teri than most people.  

Teri claims that God cured her of depression and she is all better now - why should we doubt her word about being so much better (whether it was God's answer to prayer or not)?

I think she was victimized by Steve - but that she has decided to absolve herself of all responsibility.  She stands passively by and allows him to continue his unhealthy control of the family.  Her submissiveness is so passive aggressive - see both the pizza incident and her claim that it is better to let your husband drive for miles in the wrong direction rather than correct him when he makes a wrong turn.  

Teri preaches poison too.  Let's not forget that.

I wanted to add that Teri does not hide the fact that she was depressed at one point.  It is central to the Maxwell message.

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24 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I certainly see your point but some of your words have described me to a T.  Only a very few people know about my anxiety - my husband, my sister and one close friend (well, and my doctor).  Nobody else would believe it if I told them I felt incapacitated moments before my daughter's wedding or that a large family gathering can throw me into a tailspin.  In fact, when I mention being anxious to some, a common response is "pfft...you've got it all together."  Some of us have learned to hide it. My reasons for hiding it are 1) there is still quite a stigma attached to anxiety disorder and 2) few people want to believe me. 

I hope you are correct about Teri. I hope she is genuinely looking forward to her trip and has, for the most part, conquered her depression and anxiety.  Perhaps I let my view be clouded by my own experience. 

I can relate to every word of this.

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1 hour ago, nokidsmom said:

I wonder the same. It's GOT to be odd! But I think they are convinced that their adult children DO have jobs and purposeful lives.

Sarah is always going on about how busy they all are in the blog.  I think they genuinely believe that they are.  Because the kids are so sheltered they don't realize that in the real world being busy means holding down a full time job while taking care of 3 kids who all have outside activities and interests. 

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58 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

@usmcmom Oh, yes.  It could describe me as well!  I've also experienced depression and anxiety, but I take meds for them.  I'm a good but nervous public speaker too.  It's partly because this could describe me too that I'm willing to be tougher on Teri than most people.  

Teri claims that God cured her of depression and she is all better now - why should we doubt her word about being so much better (whether it was God's answer to prayer or not)?

I think she was victimized by Steve - but that she has decided to absolve herself of all responsibility.  She stands passively by and allows him to continue his unhealthy control of the family.  Her submissiveness is so passive aggressive - see both the pizza incident and her claim that it is better to let your husband drive for miles in the wrong direction rather than correct him when he makes a wrong turn.  

Teri preaches poison too.  Let's not forget that.

I wanted to add that Teri does not hide the fact that she was depressed at one point.  It is central to the Maxwell message.

To the bolded: ITA on this. I wonder how much of her passive aggressiveness masked as submission is suppressed anger at Steve.  Or even at herself on an unconscious level for not standing up to Steve over what he has done and continues to do with his family.    Because I cannot fathom how that woman could have been happy in that house with such a controlling husband, so if she has conquered depression (and good for her if she has), she's done it in spite of the dismal environment that has to be the Maxwell home.

Even with getting over the depression / anxiety she still relies on the schedule and being pampered by her family, the very same tools that were employed to keep things going in the household when she was really suffering. In that case, it strikes me that it's become a convenience for her that she doesn't want to give up,   She enjoys it and probably takes advantage of it plus she's got children, daughters in particular, completely trained to just do it and not question why in hell they are still there when they should be at a point where they would be doing the same in their own homes instead.   If they all left, she truly may not know what to do not because of depression but because she's used to not doing it.   Also another consideration, having the kids at home, they might be a buffer of sorts between her and Steve. 

I agree @Palimpsest that Teri is both victim and oppressor.  I don't think she is as fragile now but she might still play the part and mean it because it works and may just be a survival mechanism in Maxhell.

 

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Thanks @nokidsmom.

12 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

In that case, it strikes me that it's become a convenience for her that she doesn't want to give up,   She enjoys it and probably takes advantage of it plus she's got children, daughters in particular, completely trained to just do it and not question why in hell they are still there when they should be at a point where they would be doing the same in their own homes instead.

I agree.  I also think that Teri's message of "God, prayer, OTC topical hormone cream, reversal babies, and the holy schedule" cured me is extraordinarily toxic and extremely dangerous!  

She is teaching "Cry out to God!" instead of "Get professional help" over chronic depression.

I think perhaps it helps to have seen Teri in action to realize how dangerous she and her message are to all the overwhelmed helpmeets who attend their conferences.

I don't think Teri has a "meek and quiet spirit" at all either.

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3 hours ago, docmom said:

Sarah is always going on about how busy they all are in the blog.  I think they genuinely believe that they are.  Because the kids are so sheltered they don't realize that in the real world being busy means holding down a full time job while taking care of 3 kids who all have outside activities and interests. 

I think the Maxwell kidults are "busy" in the same way that the Duggar Kidults are "busy"-- that is to say they may have chores and Bible reading and family time but their schedules don't contain the high level of activity most of the young adults that I know.  Young adults are usually juggling outside jobs, school, dating, and outings with friends, and might also add in volunteering, sports, and travel. The days are hardly long enough to do everything but fortunately most teens and 20-somethings are bursting with energy so they CAN manage a full time job and a full university load while fitting in some romance.  Frankly I don't know what Mary and Anna do with themselves all day but I'm amazed they are not climbing the walls.  At least the Duggar daughters have young children to look after, Anna and Mary only play auntie a few times a week.

My daughter is 22.  She works and goes to school.  Most weekends she meets up with her friends, goes out to parties, shops, and goes to a movie or concert. Right now she is trying to be more frugal because she is going to visit friends in NYC for 2 weeks next month.  The Maxwells don't get to do any of those things.

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2 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Thanks @nokidsmom.

I agree.  I also think that Teri's message of "God, prayer, OTC topical hormone cream, reversal babies, and the holy schedule" cured me is extraordinarily toxic and extremely dangerous!  

She is teaching "Cry out to God!" instead of "Get professional help" over chronic depression.

I think perhaps it helps to have seen Teri in action to realize how dangerous she and her message are to all the overwhelmed helpmeets who attend their conferences.

I don't think Teri has a "meek and quiet spirit" at all either.

I'd so love to give the Moody Family Series books to some therapists, point out the Moody mom in particular, and direct them to the Titus2 website to read more about Teri.  I think it would be interesting to hear what they'd come back and tell me after seeing that stuff!

@Palimpsest, thank you!  Did Mr. P do the Time Warp with you?

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5 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Thanks @nokidsmom.

I agree.  I also think that Teri's message of "God, prayer, OTC topical hormone cream, reversal babies, and the holy schedule" cured me is extraordinarily toxic and extremely dangerous!  

She is teaching "Cry out to God!" instead of "Get professional help" over chronic depression.

I think perhaps it helps to have seen Teri in action to realize how dangerous she and her message are to all the overwhelmed helpmeets who attend their conferences.

I don't think Teri has a "meek and quiet spirit" at all either.

Indeed--I emailed her once about how advising women to stay away from medication for depression and/or anxiety was irresponsible and dangerous.  No response ever.

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OH, goody! Teri is coming to Indianapolis. I would love to go downtown and happen to run into Teri. I'd give her a Pepsi and tell her to run.

I'm going to guess she is staying at the Holiday Inn Express, the Staybridge Suites or the Comfort Suites which are about a 10 minute walk from the Convention Center. No doubt Stevehova would not allow her to stay at the JW Marriott or the Marriott Downtown- which both connect to the convention center via covered, well lit & climate controlled walkways. Nope, too fancy for Steve-o Lord and Master of the Lazy Boy. Well, at least the first three hotels have free breakfast & two of the three have kitchenettes in each room. Wouldn't want Teri to have any fun at one of our nice downtown restaurants. 

I'm not a crazy stalker- we just happened to have our convention downtown last summer and I do live here ( and have lived here for almost 20 years). Our students stayed at the three hotels I mentioned first- we had every available room & oversold our block. I stayed at the Marriott- because we had comped rooms due to the number of rooms we sold. Our organization had most of the hotel. So, yeah comped rooms. 

I do hope Teri gets to take in an Indianapolis Indians Game while she's here. Victory Field is a nice Triple A ballpark & the fireworks show is always good at the end of the night. 

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21 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

@usmcmom Oh, yes.  It could describe me as well!  I've also experienced depression and anxiety, but I take meds for them.  I'm a good but nervous public speaker too.  It's partly because this could describe me too that I'm willing to be tougher on Teri than most people.  

Teri claims that God cured her of depression and she is all better now - why should we doubt her word about being so much better (whether it was God's answer to prayer or not)?

I think she was victimized by Steve - but that she has decided to absolve herself of all responsibility.  She stands passively by and allows him to continue his unhealthy control of the family.  Her submissiveness is so passive aggressive - see both the pizza incident and her claim that it is better to let your husband drive for miles in the wrong direction rather than correct him when he makes a wrong turn.  

Teri preaches poison too.  Let's not forget that.

I wanted to add that Teri does not hide the fact that she was depressed at one point.  It is central to the Maxwell message.

You know, you're right. I sometimes forget that Teri should have been a mother first and saved her children from Steve's crazy.  She's allowed her kids, especially her daughters to be completely broken and robbed of any necessary adult qualities.  Plus, she gave them a lousy education. 

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You know, I was looking at my spreadsheet of fundies the other day, and thinking about how Teri and Steve married on her 19th birthday. I wondered how old she was when they met - I know it was in college. She could have met him right after she had just turned 18, or maybe even when she was still 17. 

Steve has been in her life literally her entire adult life. He was already dominating her life when most people, regardless of being in a relationship, are just figuring out how to navigate life's difficulties. 

I agree Teri deserves some of the blame her, but I can't imagine how hard it would be for her to go up against the person who has been controlling her since she left her parents' home. 

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19 hours ago, Elegant Mess said:

I'd so love to give the Moody Family Series books to some therapists, point out the Moody mom in particular, and direct them to the Titus2 website to read more about Teri.  I think it would be interesting to hear what they'd come back and tell me after seeing that stuff!

@Palimpsest, thank you!  Did Mr. P do the Time Warp with you?

Mrs Moody certainly would win the award for Most Detached Mother of the Year.  If, as we all believe, the Moodys are based on the Maxwells then it is "amazing" Sarah doesn't realize how she portrayed her mother as an ineffectual second banana.  Mr Moody is central to the books.  Mrs Moody does hardly anything of note, except have private time with God.

No, I'm sorry.  By the time Mr P got home I had dinner ready but we have a date to dance the Time Warp together this weekend. :dancing-demon::dancing-demon:

16 hours ago, Granwych said:

Indeed--I emailed her once about how advising women to stay away from medication for depression and/or anxiety was irresponsible and dangerous.  No response ever.

Classic Maxwell.  They totally ignore the difficult stuff.

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1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

You know, I was looking at my spreadsheet of fundies the other day, and thinking about how Teri and Steve married on her 19th birthday. I wondered how old she was when they met - I know it was in college. She could have met him right after she had just turned 18, or maybe even when she was still 17. 

Steve has been in her life literally her entire adult life. He was already dominating her life when most people, regardless of being in a relationship, are just figuring out how to navigate life's difficulties. 

I agree Teri deserves some of the blame her, but I can't imagine how hard it would be for her to go up against the person who has been controlling her since she left her parents' home. 

I think Teri was really out of luck, both with Steve and with her father.  Steve claims to have had her father's approval for his actions, including reversing his vasectomy, which he didn't seem to consult Teri about.

Yes, Teri was very young when she married.  She is my age and I was probably dancing the Time Warp down the Kings Road in London when she and Steve got married in 1974.  I feel sorry for her.

However, we don't know that she has ever questioned Steve's control.  She may buy into his beliefs completely and approve whole-heartedly of them.  She certainly preaches his line, both in her books and in public, and I gather she was quite a bitch on wheels on the Titus 2 forum.

Teri gets a free pass from some people but not from me.  Never Learning Lori Alexander gets far less sympathy and she has an asshole for a husband too - and had a brain tumor.

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Oh, I agree with you and I don't give her a free pass. She's could have made different choices. She could have sought actual treatment, she could have gotten a job, she could have gotten on the pill, she could have done a lot of things. 

But thinking about her youth and the lack of support she had from family (though I wonder about her pants-wearing sister Tami), her ability to make different choices was definitely limited. 

It's just sad all around. 

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1 hour ago, anjulibai said:

Oh, I agree with you and I don't give her a free pass. She's could have made different choices. She could have sought actual treatment, she could have gotten a job, she could have gotten on the pill, she could have done a lot of things. 

But thinking about her youth and the lack of support she had from family (though I wonder about her pants-wearing sister Tami), her ability to make different choices was definitely limited. 

It's just sad all around. 

I don't think Teri's parents are anywhere nearly as fundie as Steve likes to pretend. When GiGi went on the cruise with Tami, she was dressed in slacks and seemed to be having FUN. I think, like most things on that blog, her parents are not what they appear, and I bet the "permission" things are nothing more than Steve asking for Teri's hand in a traditional way and discussing a difficult decision like the precious REVERSAL with an older adult like any regular person might have a chat with a valued mentor. God forbid Steve mention he had a conversation with a friend.

Why do you think Teri got little support from her family? Her parents seemed to have done all they can to help out and stay close, even moving to Levenworth.

BTW, does anyone know WHY they moved to Levenworth? They were in the PNW for Steve's former job, right?

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On April 18, 2016 at 9:53 AM, nokidsmom said:

It seems the decline in business conferences has been going on for some time.   IIRC, it has to be about two years since their family brainstorming session which appears to signal the beginning of the decline.  

Interesting that the Jesus-speak has been edited out of their sites and more freedom is being given to John as far as work. And now Teri is going to this conference, agree that is in the hopes of drumming up business.    Sarah has been allowed a dog and to travel.  What is the world coming to?!??

Either Steve is losing it early or more likely he's finding that when it comes to making the $$$ he has to cede that tight control over the family.   Funny how in Steve's case the money wins.  Controlling his wife and children's lives, limiting his kids' educations and life experiences keeping them tied to the family compound indefinitely is totes OK until he can't afford it.  

 

Very JimBob Duggaresque

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I'm said it before & I'll say it again. I think Teri's parents were against how they were raising the kids but never said anything because they didn't want to piss Steve off.

 As for the trip maybe they wanted to surprise her early because they are plaining to do something on actual Mother's Day. 

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6 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

No, I'm sorry.  By the time Mr P got home I had dinner ready but we have a date to dance the Time Warp together this weekend. :dancing-demon::dancing-demon:

 

:cool:

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6 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I don't think Teri's parents are anywhere nearly as fundie as Steve likes to pretend. When GiGi went on the cruise with Tami, she was dressed in slacks and seemed to be having FUN. I think, like most things on that blog, her parents are not what they appear, and I bet the "permission" things are nothing more than Steve asking for Teri's hand in a traditional way and discussing a difficult decision like the precious REVERSAL with an older adult like any regular person might have a chat with a valued mentor. God forbid Steve mention he had a conversation with a friend.

Why do you think Teri got little support from her family? Her parents seemed to have done all they can to help out and stay close, even moving to Levenworth.

BTW, does anyone know WHY they moved to Levenworth? They were in the PNW for Steve's former job, right?

I would be quite surprised to read that Stevie even has a friend.  Leghumpers and fellow "conduits from Jesus" but real friends, no.

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On 4/18/2016 at 10:44 PM, nokidsmom said:

Speaking of the Maxwell's failure to stay current, I wonder if they paid any attention that 1) other homeschooling materials were becoming available and 2) that people didn't agree with their extreme sheltering message.  Did they keep any track of what their so-called "competition" was doing?   Did they ever note that people disagreed because surely there had to be attendees who questioned the whole extreme sheltering.  Or was Steveovah so much in his own head he ignored or dismissed it all?  

Steves head is so far up his ass he can *almost* see the light...

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I really think Teri suffers from battered women's syndrome. I mean she can leave but can't and wont. She's been emotionally abused and has low self worth. She allowed her kids to be abused too. I don't think she has anything left even if Steve dies. 

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