Pure4Him-Real Woman

[mebeforee]

If you don't mind my asking, why did she have to be introduced as their aunt? Did your friend's mother have an issue with her transition?

I don't think that was the reason, in fact they never got divorced and continued to live together until a few years ago when K passed away. I think she was introduced as an aunt for the kids' sake, so that they wouldn't be bullied because of it. And introductions are tricky anyway... if you don't really know the other person, or whether or not you're going to want to get to know them well, it's hard to determine whether it's worth it to open yourself up to potential aggression or judgment from them. I live just outside the Bible-belt, so although the ideological environment is not as conservative as a lot of places, it's still hard for people around here who aren't the mainstream. I was in GSA in high school, and once the school's Christian club ('Warriors for Christ') sat in on a meeting to yell at us about Jesus and how gays are choosing to be evil.

My friend never kept it hidden that K was her father and also a woman, but the people that bullied her did so because she was a lesbian, not because of her family. I wasn't as close with her twin brother, so I'm not sure if he was bullied or if he freely told people about it. But my friend WAS much more private about it while K was still transitioning when we were younger. By the time we got to high school and she started dating other girls, people (even complete strangers) were already calling her 'dyke' in the halls, so maybe she wasn't secretive about it because she had nothing to lose.

[Maude]

Thanks for answering. I really think fear is the basis for a lot of the hate directed at GLBTQ people. I can only hope that as society continues to educate themselves on sex and gender issues that the fear will dissipate. :(

[CanadianHippie]

When I was in middle school (around 97 or 98), my best friend's father transitioned from male to female, though really it had started when we were still in grade school when he grew his hair out and got his ears pierced. At the time I was only 12 or 13, so I had a really hard time understanding what was going on, but I think it heavily influenced me. That best friend came out to me around the same time, and within a year or two my eldest brother came out to me, too. As a result, I've never seen sexuality or gender as a simple issue, and even if I can't fully comprehend the personal struggle that LGBT people go through, I find it way more confusing that other people have such strong and volatile reactions to it. To this day it kind of breaks my heart that by transitioning, K couldn't openly claim her own children, instead having to be introduced as their aunt.

Heck, I used to pray (before I stopped believing) every night for God to make me a boy and then cry myself to sleep and I still find it confusing at times. But, yeah, even more confusing are the people who have such a volatile reaction to anything not straight or cisgender.

[CanadianHippie]

Thanks for answering. I really think fear is the basis for a lot of the hate directed at GLBTQ people. I can only hope that as society continues to educate themselves on sex and gender issues that the fear will dissipate. :(

I believe so too. It gets frustrating sometimes. I live in a fairly welcoming community (well one of the more conservative areas, but we are still more welcoming than a lot of places), and yet I have gotten into some pretty heavy arguments with people about pronouns. People get so afraid of what is different, they can't even refer to someone who dresses, lives, and identifies with the opposite gender by the pronoun of that gender. It's always "He/she was born female/male so I'll call them she/he."

[mebeforee]

You're welcome, I'm not shy about that kind of thing, and it's a topic I'm opinionated about! I think you're right about fear, but I guess for me, it's hard to understand where the fear originates from. In the 'information age' it's hard to NOT be exposed to knowledge from other communities, and it's all too easy to discover that sexuality or gender issues are not contagious. But maybe the alarmingly anti-climactic nature of an individual's sexuality is one of the reasons that fundies limit their kids' access to the internet. They wouldn't want them to become complacent about such eeeeeeeeevil.

But I agree, I really hope that the fear dissipates. But I'm pretty hopeful about it, it might just be an issue of time... my brother is only five years older than me, but his coming-out experience was VERY different from any of my classmates. (Then again, he has a unique approach to life. He got all of his teachers and the principal of the school together to tell them he was going to come out. One of his teachers asked why he needed to tell people, and he said 'if everyone in the world just assumed you were gay, wouldn't you want to tell them otherwise?' and it actually convinced the guy that coming out was important.) He was getting followed home on the bus by some of the big school athletes, to the point that the principal told him to carry pepper spray in his bag (though he was clear that no one could know he'd advised my brother to do it, and that if he ever pulled the pepper spray out on school property, he'd be suspended.) That kind of aggression didn't happen to anyone I knew, the harassment they received was always within the confines of school. People didn't care enough to follow them home, so I think that even in just 5 years there was a big change of attitude about it. Here's hoping that trend continues!

[CanadianHippie]

Think about it, between 2001 and now, 11 countries have legalized same sex marriages. Things are moving faster, it just doesn't always seem like it when you are stuck looking at the smaller picture of the surrounding community.

[penguinagogo]

You should dress fashionably, but modestly. You want to be remembered for your personality (which is unique) not your cleavage (which looks exactly like everyone else’s)

of course if you follow all her lifestyle advice your personality (at least the bits you are allowed to express) will be pretty far from unique as you squeeze yrself into the straightjacket of her religion....

wanders off singing

you make me feel

like an actual human...

[mebeforee]

Heck, I used to pray (before I stopped believing) every night for God to make me a boy and then cry myself to sleep and I still find it confusing at times. But, yeah, even more confusing are the people who have such a volatile reaction to anything not straight or cisgender.

I never prayed about it, but I remember wishing I was a boy quite a bit when I was younger. I also remember talking about it with a boy I was friends with in kindergarten or first grade, and he responded by saying he often wished he was a girl. In middle school when I was beginning to understand what was happening with my friend's dad, her sexuality and my brother's sexuality, I questioned my own gender/sexual identity a lot, but I quickly realized that my own situation is the norm. But I also remember as a very, very young child telling my parents that I wanted to be a king when I grew up. My mom tried to correct me, saying I wanted to be a queen, but I said (and remember fully believing) that 'queens don't get to do anything'. Looking back on it, it strikes me as sort of sad that even as such a young child I understood that women were considered less important and capable than men. That's probably why I wished I was a boy, as opposed to actually identifying as male.

[CanadianHippie]

I never prayed about it, but I remember wishing I was a boy quite a bit when I was younger. I also remember talking about it with a boy I was friends with in kindergarten or first grade, and he responded by saying he often wished he was a girl. In middle school when I was beginning to understand what was happening with my friend's dad, her sexuality and my brother's sexuality, I questioned my own gender/sexual identity a lot, but I quickly realized that my own situation is the norm. But I also remember as a very, very young child telling my parents that I wanted to be a king when I grew up. My mom tried to correct me, saying I wanted to be a queen, but I said (and remember fully believing) that 'queens don't get to do anything'. Looking back on it, it strikes me as sort of sad that even as such a young child I understood that women were considered less important and capable than men. That's probably why I wished I was a boy, as opposed to actually identifying as male.

At the time I didn't understand when I was little, when I was older I learned about transgender and it was no less confusing because the dichotomy was still there, it was still either male or female. Thankfully the internet became easily accessible when I was a teen, I'd sneak online after everyone was in bed and learned that there is so much more to gender identity than male or female. I found out there were others like me who identify as sometimes female and sometimes male. The only thing that makes me uncomfortable now is my aforementioned G cups. When I was 14 I could easily pass for male when I wanted to, or female when I wanted to without much trouble. Not so much anymore, still last time someone called me "sir" by accident was the best feeling ever just because I was trying to hide the female. Mind you he corrected himself when he actually looked at me, but still.

I'm relatively happy in a female body, but sometimes I think it would be easier if I were physically male. Probably because I still identify as male more often than female and sometimes I still hope for some sort of strange miracle where I'll wake up a biological man.

[alba]

I'm a childfree atheist feminist and I do occasionally like to play up the cleavage I get from my G-cup breasts.

I guess identifying as a woman isn't enough for me to be a real one.

[CanadianHippie]

I'm a childfree atheist feminist and I do occasionally like to play up the cleavage I get from my G-cup breasts.

I guess identifying as a woman isn't enough for me to be a real one.

Nope, gotta cover them boobies, get yerself a headship, start popping out babies, and be treated like a child to be a real woman.

[Miggy]

of course if you follow all her lifestyle advice your personality (at least the bits you are allowed to express) will be pretty far from unique as you squeeze yrself into the straightjacket of her religion....

wanders off singing

you make me feel

like an actual human...

Why should I dress dress fashionably? At my work place there are heaps of women wearing fashionably clothing. It doesn't really show your personality. I will wear what I like not what someone else tells me I should be wearing.

Oh, and I have a really awesome cleaveage.

[velly]

Okay according to this I know a bunch of magical unicorns that are PRETENDING to be women... my life will never be the same again.

[TinyDancer87]

Sorry to change the subject but this pisses me off:

A real woman appreciates her fertility

But what if a woman has no fertility? What if she is barren? Does that make her less of a woman? All because she doesn't appreciate the fertility she doesn't have?

Another point to the fundies for offending people all for the glory of God.

[cindyluvs24]

Real women can also use power tools.

[cindyluvs24]

Real women can also use power tools.

[Bellatrix]

Real women can also use power tools.

And get cars going too... Shhh, don't tell Smuggar!

You know, like in the good ol' days.

[fakepigtails73]

When I was in middle school (around 97 or 98), my best friend's father transitioned from male to female, though really it had started when we were still in grade school when he grew his hair out and got his ears pierced. At the time I was only 12 or 13, so I had a really hard time understanding what was going on, but I think it heavily influenced me. That best friend came out to me around the same time, and within a year or two my eldest brother came out to me, too. As a result, I've never seen sexuality or gender as a simple issue, and even if I can't fully comprehend the personal struggle that LGBT people go through, I find it way more confusing that other people have such strong and volatile reactions to it. To this day it kind of breaks my heart that by transitioning, K couldn't openly claim her own children, instead having to be introduced as their aunt.

There's a new movie made by a Québec director, Xavier Dolan, that recently came out titled "Laurence Anyways". It's the story of a man that wants to become a woman and his girlfriend over 10 years. The couple decides to stick together through the guy's transitionning as a woman. Not based on a true story but I'm sure some people lived similar stuff. Very good, albeit a bit long at 2h40. Xavier Dolan is only 21 and that was his 3rd film shown at the Cannes Festival. Major talent there.

I think it will come out on DVD in 2 months. Highly recommended. There is a version is original French with English subtitles.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

There's a new movie made by a Québec director, Xavier Dolan, that recently came out titled "Laurence Anyways". It's the story of a man that wants to become a woman and his girlfriend over 10 years. The couple decides to stick together through the guy's transitionning as a woman. Not based on a true story but I'm sure some people lived similar stuff. Very good, albeit a bit long at 2h40. Xavier Dolan is only 21 and that was his 3rd film shown at the Cannes Festival. Major talent there.

I think it will come out on DVD in 2 months. Highly recommended. There is a version is original French with English subtitles.

Real life stories like that make me want to tear up. Screw the "godly marriage" stuff, THAT is sticking by your spouse through thick and thin.

[fakepigtails73]

Real life stories like that make me want to tear up. Screw the "godly marriage" stuff, THAT is sticking by your spouse through thick and thin.

Yeah it's a really good film. It also stars Nathalie Baye, who is a very well known actress in her native France (she plays Laurence's overwhelmed mother). The actor that plays Laurence is from France while the actress that plays his gf is a Québécoise. Denise Filliatrault (a Québec comedienne and well-known theater director) has a cameo as a homophobic waitress that ends up getting Laurence's gf's pent up rage in one of the film's best scenes. I won't say more, see it. :)

[BabyFullOfSin]

Maybe it's just my mood today (or perhaps my evil atheist mind) but there is something so perverse about the phrase "Pure4Him" - it just reeks of fetish.

[browngrl]

This blogger is just chock a block with checklists (real women make lists apparently). Here is another: True beauty.

Which apparently is unseen BUT also bare AND in her eyes AND can't be covered with makeup AND the flight of a dove (but not any other birds they are unGodly I guess). Other characteristics of beauty: it is inside and within, unseen,and only felt. Here is the entire list:

"True beauty is in the way she laughs

True beauty is in her eyes

True beauty is how she acts

True beauty is inside

True beauty is unseen

True beauty is only felt

True beauty is not mean

True beauty is herself

True beauty can't be cruel

True beauty is bare

True beauty within you

True beauty is always there

True Beauty can't be covered with makeup

True beauty means true love

True beauty can't be baked up

True beauty is the flight of a dove

True beauty has no flaws

For true beauty is all that matters after all"

I'd snark more but I am busy trying to figure out how believing in God makes you a real woman.

[CanadianHippie]

How does true beauty mean true love?

[notacleverpony]

[May be slightly NSFW. It really depends on how your workplace feels about phrases like "boobular." ^_^]

TOM SERVO: "Say, fellas, there sure is a lot of female body-shaming in this blog!"

MIKE NELSON: "There sure is."

CROW T. ROBOT: "I'd tell her all about the sheer amount of variety and attractiveness in all types of female forms, but I just can't come up with a word to describe it."

TOM SERVO: "Well, I can!"

MIKE NELSON: "You can?"

TOM SERVO: "Why, sure!"

_ePusmtf1IQ

[dairyfreelife]

This blogger is just chock a block with checklists (real women make lists apparently). Here is another: True beauty.

Which apparently is unseen BUT also bare AND in her eyes AND can't be covered with makeup AND the flight of a dove (but not any other birds they are unGodly I guess). Other characteristics of beauty: it is inside and within, unseen,and only felt. Here is the entire list:

"True beauty is in the way she laughs

True beauty is in her eyes

True beauty is how she acts

True beauty is inside

True beauty is unseen

True beauty is only felt

True beauty is not mean

True beauty is herself

True beauty can't be cruel

True beauty is bare

True beauty within you

True beauty is always there

True Beauty can't be covered with makeup

True beauty means true love

True beauty can't be baked up

True beauty is the flight of a dove

True beauty has no flaws

For true beauty is all that matters after all"

I'd snark more but I am busy trying to figure out how believing in God makes you a real woman.

The dove, is a cultural symbol, she seems to forget about that idea. Christian, yes, but isn't there another bird that represents Christianity? I'm almost certain there is.