Interrupted fundie adoptions

[LucySnowe]

I think the fundies believe they are adopting a poor orphan who will be forever grateful for them.

Hmm, which would tie in nicely to the 'why are fundies so thrilled about Anne of Green Gables?' question that arose over in the Little Women thread...she may have red hair, but she doesn't have PTSD.

[chaotic life]

Totally agree, soybean.

I get people who ask on a regular basis which are my adopted children and which are my real children. I just look at them stupidly and inform them that they are all MY children. Until this month, I have always said, I'm not a fostermom therefore they are all my children.

As fosterkiddo was being placed, his mom kept saying she 'loved him like he was her own.' I kept thinking, if you even feel the need to SAY that, then obviously no you do not 'love him like he was your own.' Either you love them or you don't.

There is no difference in my children regardless of how they enter my home. Their challenges may be harder, but that is not exclusive to adoption. Two of my bios have significant special needs as well. Sometimes, I think people put more effort and care into the car they purchase than children they promise to spend a lifetime parenting and loving. Parenting is hard work. There are more than enough opportunities in this day and age for any parent to be prepared for what it will take to parent these hurting kids. This is NOT the 80s and we are NOT rescuing children from Romania orphanages whereby parents really had NO clue what their struggles would be nor what their futures held. In this day and age, there are books, there are support groups, there are message boards, there are even online courses that honestly detail what it takes to parent these kiddos.

[B5SnowDog]

That's exactly what many of these parents make it sound like. A while back, a woman posted on a parenting forum I sometimes visit, hoping to find a family of her specific religion to take her son because she could no longer handle his attachment issues. The cold way she referred to him made me see red. Never once did she call him her son. Also, if she's not willing to put in the work to help her kid, why the hell would she think she had the right to require him to continue with her religion? Frankly, from what she said, it sounded like the failure to attach was on her, because her son wasn't the grateful, fixed-by-love doll she expected.

That sounds familiar to me... was it a Delphi forum?

[GiGi_41]

I haven't posted in awhile since I have been really busy lately...want to know why????

Because CPS has placed a 13yo boy with me whose adoptive parents don't want him anymore...granted he doesn't want to be with them either, but according to the psychologist, they didn't go out of their way to make him feel welcome. BTW I am not saying that this boy is perfect. He has significant issues, BP's who were druggies, about 7 different placements including a group home twice, ADHD and some delinquency issues that require almost constant supervision but they knew this going into the adoption.

This family gets a substantial stipend from the state since they adopted him (think in the $1800 range) and they griped because they had to give the stipend back to the county as well as pay child support which comes back to me to pay for his care and supervision since I also work. The parents have refused to do a psychological evaluation and refuse visits with the boy to help with reunification.

This is the kicker... the boy's adoptive parents are also licensed treatment foster parents through a religious organization. They still have their foster license and have placement of children! The county did ask for their license to be revoked but the religious organization refuses to take their foster license away because its all the boys fault because he won't follow their religious rules.

This is kind of rambling but...why can't religious people just imagine the hurt they are causing these children? I have to ask...is it better to leave these kids with the BPs and supervise the BPs till the children grow up or to place these all ready F****d up kids into the system with people who wear their crazy on the outside?

[SoybeanQueen]

That sounds familiar to me... was it a Delphi forum?

Yes. I rarely post at that forum, but it makes for interesting reading.

[B5SnowDog]

Heh, that it does. I no longer post there but I do read.

[Elle]

Hmm, which would tie in nicely to the 'why are fundies so thrilled about Anne of Green Gables?' question that arose over in the Little Women thread...she may have red hair, but she doesn't have PTSD.

Anne had her trauma, as evidenced by her fear of being so casually sent away and her desperation to do everything right and without question so she wouldn't be passed off to another home where she might be forced to work long hours, and she was lonely enough to grow unusually attached her her own reflection, which she gave a name and considered to be a sympathetic friend because she could see the sadness in her "friend's" eyes. But she managed to scape in books and that helped her dream of a romantic ending for her, basically the Prince Charming hope of Snow White. In a way she was privileged she still had that dream, but it did't prevent her from being afraid she would be sent away, and her harsh treatment during her early childhood, treatment that was abusive for the slightest misdeed, combined with her fear of being sent away and never loved, resulted in a child who strived unnaturally hard to do every single thing right, and while she was imaginative, she still often retreated to a dreamland until she was considerably older than other children were when they stopped that sort of make-believe. Even Diana was hesitant to go along with the make-believe at first. She had a great life and no need to escape. But she had fun, so went along with it because it was fun, not because it was a need she had to pretend away the hardships. Anne was so used to imagining things were different that she could convince herself that ugly, skimpy clothes were royal gowns because she had trained herself so thoroughly to imagine away everything except her hair.

It's easy to overlook these signs of having been abused and signs of trauma that she was dealing with because Anne is such a likable character and was a child many of us would adopt in a heartbeat. She made her dreamlands and games seem fun, though the cause of them was a child who mentally escaped to cope with being abused her whole life until she arrived at Green Gables.

When I first read the book, I was a teenager, and I picked up on that right away, and it make my heart very soft to Anne. While nearly everyone who reads the book loves Anne, it shouldn't be forgotten that she was a child who had a very hard life, who dealt with abusive men who were alcoholics and threw things and scared the families, who didn't always have enough to eat and yet was expected to slave away caring for many young children while doing their laundry, and who nearly had a mental breakdown at the thought of leaving Green Gables since she was still having a hard time believing someone might have wanted her until she found out they originally wanted a boy.

But all of this is lost on the fundies who read AoGG. All they see is a good little girl who had a rough start and the left it all behind, emotionally unscathed, to live a fairy tale life with her best friend, regularly attending church, looking up to the pastor's wife, always resolving to do her best to be obedient and good and whose moral dilemma was wishing she would be beautiful when it should be more desirable to be good or even smart, and who did her best to not feel vanity over liking her nose since being good should be more important than being pretty, and then she married a doctor who was basically her prince. They don't see how her early traumas affected her throughout much of the book.

My favorite scene, though it's sad, is when Marilla crept into her room after matthew died, and held Anne and let her gourd down so completely to tell Anne that she loved her as if she were her own flesh and blood and doesn't know what she would have done if Anne hadn't been sent to her and blessed her life and that she loved Anne more than anything. Anne needed that. She needed to know that the only mother-figure she'd ever had loved her. She knew Matthew adored her and was completely proud of her, and once he was gone, Anne needed to know that she was still so completely loved and that she wasn't alone, and Marilla knew that and told her.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this book, but I just can't see it as a simple children's book.

[Elle]

I thought fundies and such -- or a majority of them -- refused to adopt because they would get the sins of the parent in the child. I always think of the story of little Dennis Jurgens. Adopted by a religious mom, decided he was 'trouble' then basically tortured the poor little boy till he was killed.

The saddest part is that the biological mom was more or less forced to give him up and counted off the days till he turned 18 and she could find him... and found out he'd been dead for 16 years.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Dennis_Jurgens

That poor baby. Peritonitis is extremely painful. I had it happen to be after a blunt force injury, and it nearly killed me. I was also hit by a car. How can anyone be so evil that they could hit a child hard enough to cause that? Lois got off easy by only getting eight years.

It's also notable that she as one of 16 kids herself in a very religious family, and forced toddlers to learn the rosary to perfection.

[Peas n carrots]

Anne had her trauma, as evidenced by her fear of being so casually sent away and her desperation to do everything right and without question so she wouldn't be passed off to another home where she might be forced to work long hours, and she was lonely enough to grow unusually attached her her own reflection, which she gave a name and considered to be a sympathetic friend because she could see the sadness in her "friend's" eyes. But she managed to scape in books and that helped her dream of a romantic ending for her, basically the Prince Charming hope of Snow White. In a way she was privileged she still had that dream, but it did't prevent her from being afraid she would be sent away, and her harsh treatment during her early childhood, treatment that was abusive for the slightest misdeed, combined with her fear of being sent away and never loved, resulted in a child who strived unnaturally hard to do every single thing right, and while she was imaginative, she still often retreated to a dreamland until she was considerably older than other children were when they stopped that sort of make-believe. Even Diana was hesitant to go along with the make-believe at first. She had a great life and no need to escape. But she had fun, so went along with it because it was fun, not because it was a need she had to pretend away the hardships. Anne was so used to imagining things were different that she could convince herself that ugly, skimpy clothes were royal gowns because she had trained herself so thoroughly to imagine away everything except her hair.

It's easy to overlook these signs of having been abused and signs of trauma that she was dealing with because Anne is such a likable character and was a child many of us would adopt in a heartbeat. She made her dreamlands and games seem fun, though the cause of them was a child who mentally escaped to cope with being abused her whole life until she arrived at Green Gables.

When I first read the book, I was a teenager, and I picked up on that right away, and it make my heart very soft to Anne. While nearly everyone who reads the book loves Anne, it shouldn't be forgotten that she was a child who had a very hard life, who dealt with abusive men who were alcoholics and threw things and scared the families, who didn't always have enough to eat and yet was expected to slave away caring for many young children while doing their laundry, and who nearly had a mental breakdown at the thought of leaving Green Gables since she was still having a hard time believing someone might have wanted her until she found out they originally wanted a boy.

But all of this is lost on the fundies who read AoGG. All they see is a good little girl who had a rough start and the left it all behind, emotionally unscathed, to live a fairy tale life with her best friend, regularly attending church, looking up to the pastor's wife, always resolving to do her best to be obedient and good and whose moral dilemma was wishing she would be beautiful when it should be more desirable to be good or even smart, and who did her best to not feel vanity over liking her nose since being good should be more important than being pretty, and then she married a doctor who was basically her prince. They don't see how her early traumas affected her throughout much of the book.

My favorite scene, though it's sad, is when Marilla crept into her room after matthew died, and held Anne and let her gourd down so completely to tell Anne that she loved her as if she were her own flesh and blood and doesn't know what she would have done if Anne hadn't been sent to her and blessed her life and that she loved Anne more than anything. Anne needed that. She needed to know that the only mother-figure she'd ever had loved her. She knew Matthew adored her and was completely proud of her, and once he was gone, Anne needed to know that she was still so completely loved and that she wasn't alone, and Marilla knew that and told her.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this book, but I just can't see it as a simple children's book.

That was beautiful Elle. I loved Anne, and I identified so much with her as a kid (down to hating my own red hair...which I now love despite the grays coming in). What the fundies miss as well was Anne was valued by those around her for her smarts and was encouraged to further her education.

It's been years since I've read the series...methinks I need to go to the library this weekend and re-read the series (although LMM kind of phones it in with some of the books later on in the series).

[desertvixen]

This is kind of rambling but...why can't religious people just imagine the hurt they are causing these children?

Because their religion (which, of course, is the Right Kind) could never hurt the kids! It must be the kids' fault. (I feel a little ill now.)

[desertvixen]

It's easy to overlook these signs of having been abused and signs of trauma that she was dealing with because Anne is such a likable character and was a child many of us would adopt in a heartbeat. She made her dreamlands and games seem fun, though the cause of them was a child who mentally escaped to cope with being abused her whole life until she arrived at Green Gables.

When I first read the book, I was a teenager, and I picked up on that right away, and it make my heart very soft to Anne. While nearly everyone who reads the book loves Anne, it shouldn't be forgotten that she was a child who had a very hard life, who dealt with abusive men who were alcoholics and threw things and scared the families, who didn't always have enough to eat and yet was expected to slave away caring for many young children while doing their laundry, and who nearly had a mental breakdown at the thought of leaving Green Gables since she was still having a hard time believing someone might have wanted her until she found out they originally wanted a boy.

This.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this book, but I just can't see it as a simple children's book.

It's not, but I think the best ones never are.

[Elle]

Thanks. I thought someone would tell me to stop reading too much into it.

And I agree, Peas. She was definitely encouraged to continue her education not only because she was definitely smart and thrived on learning (while Diana wasn't allowed to do anything and was expected to marry and be a good little wife right out the gate), but because they believed a woman should have the ability to earn her own living, whether or not she married. Quite the advanced thinking there! Some of Anne's girl chums who went to Queens with her didn't plan to actually teach with their degrees and were going for the hell of it, though one didn't intend on ever settling down with a man! And Anne appreciated the opportunity given to her, and worked HARD to make Marilla and Matthew proud of her for all they did for her. She didn't take it for granted the way some of her chums did who'd never wanted for anything in their lives the way Anne had for most of hers.

Yes, when she married, she stopped working. Would have have is the laws allowed married women to work? Maybe, maybe not. Plenty of women NOW stop working when they have kids to raise them, and back in Anne's day, the only birth control was no sex. So we can't fault her for not working when the laws banned married women from teaching, what she was trained to do. And we can't really blame her for having a cook/helper either back in a day when women broke their bodied doing all the housework and washing and ironing and everything without the conveniences we have today. Man, imagine doing all we at-home moms do with a few kids but also having to boil water to wash clothes, then heat heavy iron irons to press everything, while also making those days' meals entirely from scratch, and having only as many daylight hours as there are in a day to do it. Who can blame those who had the money to invest in help? We invest in electricity and washing machines when we can, she invested in someone to help with the housework so she could spend time with her children and use time ding charity work. It was seen as something of a duty for those with money to create a job for someone else and to use the time that freed up to do charity work.

She had some conveniences in her later like that many didn't have, but she also had a shitty start and didn't shirk her responsibilities, whether she was a child or a mother, and she did what she could for others at all times. Those fundies who romanticize her entire life overlook the disadvantages she had, and I guess ignore her first child being stillborn and then a son dying in war. I don't think a lot of them bothered reading the later books since she's not the same spunky Anne she was as a child. She...grew up. We saw that happening by the end of the first book.

When I can separate my daughter from the iPad, I'm going to start re-reading the series. I love the books, and they are inspiring and about making the best of what you have and appreciating what you have even if there are other things you want and not taking for granted what opportunities you have.

Yeah, I could take about these books all day.

[Cran]

I thought fundies and such -- or a majority of them -- refused to adopt because they would get the sins of the parent in the child.

Gothard promoted this, don't know if he still does, but in my opinion, this is no virulent opinion outside of this circle.

[NurseNell]

This is NOT the 80s and we are NOT rescuing children from Romania orphanages whereby parents really had NO clue what their struggles would be nor what their futures held. In this day and age, there are books, there are support groups, there are message boards, there are even online courses that honestly detail what it takes to parent these kiddos.

This is so true. When we adopted internationally in the 70's there were no books, no support groups, no cultural summer camps, no on line info, nothing. I knew a family who disrupted an adoption in about 1978. It made me so pissed at the parents. Their daughter was from Colombia, as are my children. They wanted to adopt an older child since they already had several bio children. The girl was 9 or 10. She was coming out of an abusive home life, coming to a new country where everything was strange. The new siblings were bright and beautiful, all over achievers. As fate would have it there was an old lady next door who was a native Spanish speaker. She became like a grandma to the girl. But after 6 months the parents decided she wasn't trying to learn English and she just wasn't fitting in so they disrupted the adoption. 6 freaking months!! I so wished they could have been dropped off in Colombia or some other non-English speaking country and told they had to become totally fluent and fitting in after 6 months. A minister (don't know what type) and his wife, who had successfully adopted other kids with attachment disorder, adopted the girl. I would love to know how she is now.

[chaotic life]

My boys have been home 9 and 7 years and have mostly resolved their ESL issues. However, they STILL show up sometimes, even after all of these years.

Our fosterchild was yanked out by the legal parents because we angered them. I spent most of this week calling the state and forwarding contact information and evidence to the home state to hopefully do SOMETHING to protect the child.

I have learned that the evil it takes to do this to kids is FAR more than I envisioned. I'll continue to offer support to parents committed to keeping their kids. However, I will never work with a parent who throws their child out and is still in the picture again. I know all about working with hurting kids, even those that don't heal and make your life chaos. I won't get involved with people who get rid of their kids, and these fundie adopters tend to do this at a MUCH higher rate than most people.

[chaotic life]

Okay, I'm bringing this one back up for a couple of reasons. First, it safe for me to talk now. Second, I learned something that is relevant yesterday.

So, we had an informal foster kid from one of these Fundie families. Trust me, she showed up in her frumper to dump him on us. My favorite was that she was wearing an ankle length frumper AND leggings underneath--in the summer heat. DH was all 'whatever, like I was tempted by her before she put the frumper on, she didn't need the leggings TOO.' She had her poor robot trained 9 year old in similiar get-ups. Nine year old showed up and wouldn't or couldn't even TALK to my kids. She had to do all of the unloading, unpacking, childcare of the nursling that was brought. In the morning before they left, nine year old had to repack, reload, do all of the childcare for the nursling AND serve her mother. Poor kid burnt her finger making a cup of hot tea for her mother. Howevver, when my nine year old daughter and five year old daughter desperately tried to get her to PLAY with them, she looked like a deer about to be shot. She couldn't PLAY.

I know from the woman's blog that this child's "homeschooling materials" is Keepers of the Home. That blows my mind. As obnoxious as I find Keepers of the Home to be (I bought it, I looked it over, I kept it for three years, I passed it onto someone else) it was NEVER marketeted as homeschooling materials. It's meant to be a scouting alternative program NOT homeschooling materials. I'm not sure the girl could READ. She couldn't find the tea in my cabinet because I have fancy, not basic tea bags. My regular tea bags are gallon sized because I only use them to make ice tea. I have a very expensive and ecletic hot tea collection (blame my grandmother for teaching me that).

Anyway, we had the child for three weeks, and the child was an absolute delight. Then, the fundie father got MAD that this child was thriving with us and wanted DH to kiss his butt and praise him and his family for all THEY have done for this kid. Hello jerk, you threw him out, repeatedly, you did NOT do much for him except a lot of damage he hasn't even begun to grasp that he needs to heal from. They jerked him out of here with 36 hours notice to PUNISH US. Okay, we knew where he was going. We knew he was safe and we helped the new parents who want to adopt him and keep him safe from these people permenantly. So, we let him go rather than getting a lawyer and fighting BUT we armed the new family to the teeth to protect him.

They got him back into the state and started talking about bringing him HOME *after* the kid had started talking about the abuse he had endured and after I had their own words in nearly three dozen emails about the harm they wished on this poor kid. The new parents got frantic, without legal rights to stop it. They asked me to help. So, I made my first and only report I've ever made to CPS end of last week.

The state is now involved. They let both families know that so long as the original adoptive family has NOTHING more to do with this kid and allowed the new family to adopt him without interference now, the state won't open a case. However, they WILL watch this carefully. They told the new family if the original family tries in ANY way to have contact or visit with the kid to notify the state immediately because they will then open a FULL case and will investigate the care and education being given to the eight biological children in the home, as well as the circumstances that two other adoptees disappeared from the home.

The case worker told the new mother that they have had SEVERAL identical cases in their county. They have had multiple fundie families adopting and abusing these kids, right down to the lack of citizenship they refuse to give these kids. In every case, the state has been able to help the kids get new families AND fix their citizenships and all of the kids have done fine once they are removed from the fundia abuse.

So, before last night, we had to lay low and not have contact with this kiddo. He's amazing kid, so courageous and SO isolated from American society. Now, the original adopters cannot have any say over what happens to him at all and the new mom says we can call him anytime we want now. He called here last night and spent half an hour talking to my kids. They are talking about coming to visit this fall and meeting us, and letting us see him again. They were contacted by the original family through their homeschooling group. They knew they were "off" but had NO idea what was fully going on until I contacted them and alerted them to the full situation.

I really don't think I'll ever get so personally involved in one of these cases again. I've realized it takes a special kind of evil to kick a hurting kid out of your home the way these people did three times. The so-called father is extremely abusive. He's everything you imagine about a Funde abuser, one who found a way to hide what he is beyond theology that makes it look somewhat acceptable. My heart aches for the eight bio kids in that home. I know they aren't fully safe and I know they aren't getting properly educated. However, I have no ability to help them. I had a chance to help the Liberian teen and I did. I don't regret it.

I still don't understand how people that like get approved to adopt in the first place. When we were adopting our first child, our agency wouldn't even DISCUSS adopting non-related kids. They didn't even like placing three or more related kids together, and wouldn't do it with a family without experiencing adopting previously. I loathe adoption facilitators. I loathe so-called Christian adoption agencies who are so wrapped up in providing homes of FAITH that they forget to provide GOOD homes for kiddos.

I really, really want to say I'm done adding kids to my family now. Foster kids new mother laughed at me when I said that last night. She said we'll all see. I'm mid-30s and my heart hurts SO much for these kids. I can't and won't add any kids right now. I've got eight in my home and one of them is on hospice. I didn't intend to add any to that equation but fosterkid crossed my path and touched my heart. In the future, I guess I really don't know. I DO know I won't touch the kind of evil it takes to throw kids OUT, but I can't truly say when mine start leaving I won't reach out to another hurting KID like I did this time.

[Koala]

Thank goodness for people like you. I am so glad you intervened on behalf of that boy. I don't think I'll ever understand how anyone could hurt a child.

[BravaAmica]

The state is now involved. They let both families know that so long as the original adoptive family has NOTHING more to do with this kid and allowed the new family to adopt him without interference now, the state won't open a case. However, they WILL watch this carefully. They told the new family if the original family tries in ANY way to have contact or visit with the kid to notify the state immediately because they will then open a FULL case and will investigate the care and education being given to the eight biological children in the home, as well as the circumstances that two other adoptees disappeared from the home.

[bolding mine]

What in the seven hells?! TWO adoptees have gone missing from this home??? Does no one know where they are??? I sincerely hope they do break the no contact order if only to give the state an excuse to open the investigation.

[Koala]

[bolding mine]

What in the seven hells?! TWO adoptees have gone missing from this home??? Does no one know where they are??? I sincerely hope they do break the no contact order if only to give the state an excuse to open the investigation.

Somehow I missed this. Good lord. :(

[NurseNell]

The state is now involved. They let both families know that so long as the original adoptive family has NOTHING more to do with this kid and allowed the new family to adopt him without interference now, the state won't open a case. However, they WILL watch this carefully. They told the new family if the original family tries in ANY way to have contact or visit with the kid to notify the state immediately because they will then open a FULL case and will investigate the care and education being given to the eight biological children in the home, as well as the circumstances that two other adoptees disappeared from the home.

Two other adoptees disappeared from the home and they aren't investigating? What the hell! :evil:

[chaotic life]

I don't fully know at the moment. The adoptive mother blogged extensively when the three children came home. She blogged that one child was placed with a couple in her church that couldn't pass a homestudy, no details on why they wouldn't pass a homestudy. The other child disappeared sometime after she stopped blogging so much. Fosterson told US that she left two years ago, that she was behaving inappropriate and so was sent to the same home as her biological brother for a month and then sent out of state to another family. However, he never saw either child after they were removed from the home and he sure didn't ask questions as he lived in fear every day himself for the day he would be removed.

I got a call from the home where he is now this morning. He wants to come back to us. The state has blocked the family's ability to take him back into their own home, but I think OUR home is the one place they will refuse to voluntarily allow him to go.

I've talked to him personally and he's dead serious. I don't know what to do now.

[Rosa]

I hope you all find a good solution.

Is there some way to complain about the AGENCY? How are they even licensed? I really don't get how these religiously-influenced shady international adoption agencies continue to function and aren't liable for stuff like this - at the very least you'd think one of the grownup throwaway kids or the State Department (that has to clear up the citizenship mess) would go after them somehow.

[Koala]

I don't fully know at the moment. The adoptive mother blogged extensively when the three children came home. She blogged that one child was placed with a couple in her church that couldn't pass a homestudy, no details on why they wouldn't pass a homestudy. The other child disappeared sometime after she stopped blogging so much. Fosterson told US that she left two years ago, that she was behaving inappropriate and so was sent to the same home as her biological brother for a month and then sent out of state to another family. However, he never saw either child after they were removed from the home and he sure didn't ask questions as he lived in fear every day himself for the day he would be removed.

I got a call from the home where he is now this morning. He wants to come back to us. The state has blocked the family's ability to take him back into their own home, but I think OUR home is the one place they will refuse to voluntarily allow him to go.

I've talked to him personally and he's dead serious. I don't know what to do now.

I really hope it works out.

[chaotic life]

It was a facilitator, which was umbrellaed under PLAN Loving Adoptions when someone (might or might not have been me, but it certainly wasn't me alone) finally got the State Dept to understand that Liberian facilitators were lying and decieving to make their adoptions LOOK legal when they weren't. The adoption agency has since folded for a LONG history of not caring what their associates within the countries were actually doing.

Liberia is closed to US adoptions now. I forwarded so many stories to the State Dept back when they were in their hayday that it made my stomach churn. I don't *think* Ethiopia would allow someone to use a facilitator to adopt, but I have heard that there are adoptions happening in Uganda and the Congo that don't involve reputable, licensed US agencies. Not all states ban facilitator or even independent adoptions and the State Dept requires that you be within the laws of the country you are adopting and within the laws of your own state to be legal adoptions.

Even when doing an independent adoption or using a facilitator, you have to get a homestudy by a MSW. I really don't know HOW some of these people pass those homestudies. How did the Campbells pass? They adopted something like four Liberians and Serena adopted just as many herself as her parents. They had to pass homestudies that SOME MSW passed them on.

It's sadly not that hard to get rid of a child once you bring them stateside. Honestly, it's not the getting rid of them that is blowing my mind in this case. It's the determination that the child's life MUST be destroyed in retribution because he wasn't "good enough" and brought attention and embarrassment to the family that just is beyond understanding. I don't understand that level of evil. I don't think I ever will either.

[valsa]

I really don't know HOW some of these people pass those homestudies. How did the Campbells pass? They adopted something like four Liberians and Serena adopted just as many herself as her parents.

And they've got missing/disappeared kids too (well, Serena had at least one adopted child that disappeared while still a minor and the older Campbells, as far as I know, just don't talk about their adoptees anymore (hopefully, as soon as they hit 18, those kids ran away from that crazy cult))