The Joy of Keeping the Home

[SunnyAndrsn]

Uber-findies believe that they can pray away the depression, and/or that depression signifies that they are not happy with God, therefore depression = sin.

Using any of the tools that God puts in our hands to deal with a mental health problem means they are not trusting God.

It's a no win situation for fundies, and the women are constantly not good enough for anyone or anything in their lives.

Dang, I just looked to see if I could find Steve-o's reply to my e-mail regarding this very issue, but I deleted it. In it, he admitted that the only cure for depression was prayer. They do not believe in therapy or medication.

[Kaylee]

I wonder how many people were already depressed before they became stay at home moms, and if they accounted for that. I agree it can be very stressful and depressing, but I also know quite a few people (myself included ) who were already depressed and feeling overwhelmed by their jobs and live in general before becoming a SAHM. It's one of the few socially acceptable ways to "check out" of the workforce mid-career and, for some people, it seems like being home will be slower paced and give you a chance to get your life back in order. The problem is it is very isolating and can make depression even worse because all of a sudden you're alone, sleep deprived, and have a very needy and often loud little person that you are primarily responsible for.

I do agree that financial worries contribute to it for a lot of people, as well. One of the things I've noticed is that my husband is more stressed about money and things, which makes him irritable and stresses me out. It can also be pretty stressful being used to having your own money and being able to spend and then suddenly not having that, having to ask for it, or being unsure if the bills are even getting paid or if there is enough money to do things. If the wife worked before, there's the drop in income either way, and a lot of men can be pretty secretive and/or controlling when it comes to finances if they are the only one working.

[margiebargie]

I wonder how many people were already depressed before they became stay at home moms, and if they accounted for that. I agree it can be very stressful and depressing, but I also know quite a few people (myself included ) who were already depressed and feeling overwhelmed by their jobs and live in general before becoming a SAHM. It's one of the few socially acceptable ways to "check out" of the workforce mid-career and, for some people, it seems like being home will be slower paced and give you a chance to get your life back in order. The problem is it is very isolating and can make depression even worse because all of a sudden you're alone, sleep deprived, and have a very needy and often loud little person that you are primarily responsible for.

I do agree that financial worries contribute to it for a lot of people, as well. One of the things I've noticed is that my husband is more stressed about money and things, which makes him irritable and stresses me out. It can also be pretty stressful being used to having your own money and being able to spend and then suddenly not having that, having to ask for it, or being unsure if the bills are even getting paid or if there is enough money to do things. If the wife worked before, there's the drop in income either way, and a lot of men can be pretty secretive and/or controlling when it comes to finances if they are the only one working.

Great point.

[Lainey]

i like staying at home..i like to putter around, do my own thing, cook, etc..but its not for everyone. i don't think it necessarily requires a big ass notebook either.

:whistle: i made one once, but i never used it. i mean..i know what needs to be done every day and i ended up spending more time making the thing and printing out the pages than actually cleaning!

I like it, too. I don't even have kids (well, unless you count the kitties--and they certainly do count themselves as my kids). I don't really get bored (well, sometimes, but rarely), so that's not an issue for me. Apparently I find my own company endlessly entertaining. ;)

[Spider Burps]

I like it, too. I don't even have kids (well, unless you count the kitties--and they certainly do count themselves as my kids). I don't really get bored (well, sometimes, but rarely), so that's not an issue for me. Apparently I find my own company endlessly entertaining. ;)

Count me in, too! I'm a total dork and love cleaning, laundry, cooking, and even clipping coupons. So disturbingly satisfying.

People have told me they think I can't be happy and that I'm just "settling" or whatever... but then I turn it back around on them when they inevitably begin talk about how much they love their office job. :whistle:

[AtroposHeart]

Well, it is easy to see why depression can happen to SAHM, being in the same surrondings, very overstressed, lack of adult contact and the ability to express there feelings. Back in the 'good old days' the women who stayed at home, where rarely alone with just the kids, They had sisters, and in-laws, close neighbors that were often with them. Plenty of peole to be surronded by and share feelings and work loads/

I therozie that this is why mommy blogging is so popular among SAHM.

[Islandmom]

I think a lot of it is about choice. I have my masters degree but I choose to stay home and I love it (most of the time LOL) I have always suffered from depression, but I also take medicine which helps greatly. I think mainly it is about lack of choice. A great number of SAHM stay home because they can't afford day care in order to work, or because they have been taught that that is their only option. When you feel stuck you often are depressed. I had a job once that I felt stuck in (I wanted to quit, I hated my boss, but she was a colleague of a whole bunch of my professors in graduate school and I was afraid it would sour their opinion of me). I was depressed the entire time I was in that job because I felt so absolutely stuck. I also think stay at home mom's need to find other things that fulfill them as well. I love to paint and I sell my paintings as well as donate artwork to different non-profits for charity auctions. Art is something I am passionate about and I teach art classes to children as well. I LOVE it. I feel like I am not "just a mom" when I am doing this. Anyway, just my 2 cents.