Disgusting convo I had with a woman - Men and child care

[salsa]

This is nuts. But I wonder if the women a) has been molested and has never gotten the therapy or b) knows her husband is a molester but feels trapped in the marriage.

Your point a was my first thought! Add to it the hyper-focus on sex the conservative, fundy-lite and fundies have and it just feeds into the paranoia.

It's a wonder that fundy men aren't all sex maniacs if they're being told either verbally or non-verbally that they'd be depraved kinky sex machines if they didn't have controls put on them in some way. frumpers, long skirts, Nike, and marriage are the only way to control fundy men's penises. How does one develop a healthy sense of sexual intimacy?

(and apologies if this is a repeat - I'm skimming the posts because I'm late to the thread. 8-) )

[salsa]

oh, and... um... I've known people who've been molested by women, too.

Seems these women could become fundies and have carte blanche and no one would be the wiser because women aren't visually stimulated (or don't have desire for anything other than a headship - oh, my a double entendre).

[happy atheist]

I used to work in a preschool that had several male employees. The kids loved it! I think it's important to have a mix of personalities and styles, just like in the real world.

[nolongerIFBx]

I probably won't leave my kids unsupervised with a male other than their father when I have kids. I think it is valid to be concerned about males being around young kids unsupervised - even family. One reason I probably feel this way is because I experienced some inappropriate creepy behavior from my adolescent brother a few times while I was a kid. I don't believe that my brother is a pedophile - I think he was just curious about female bodies and didn't know of a more appropriate outlet for it. Nonetheless it was something I found very disturbing (and still do).

While I admit that I would hesitate to leave my children with a male not their father or brother, we also have to recognize that female teenagers have the same curiosities and adult females can also be sexual predators. To be very blunt, they may not have a penis to penetrate a child left in their care, but they do have fingers to fondle, etc. The problem is not in acknowleding that a child left in someone's care can be molested, it is in thinking that a male is "dangerous" but a female isn't. You have to do what you can to protect your child, do background checks, check sex offender registry, etc. but thinking that one gender is safer than the other isn't necessarily going to keep your child from harm.

[fundie_junkie]

I have some evangelical family members who think this way. One wouldn't let the father bathe or change diapers on their daughters for the longest time. The kids weren't allowed to go to anyone's home and spend the night because the father or brothers might molest them. No Easter bunny or Santa pics for the them because the person could be a pervert who likes to feel up kids when they sit on their lap.

When my own daughters got a male teacher, they asked if I was going to request a change because there was something wrong with a male wanting to teach elementary school age kids.

They have a strange paranoia of everyone and everything.

[Swamptribe]

What gets me is that this women feels her female children are in danger of being sexually molested by their father, and their brothers. Yet, she doesn't get them away from said father and brothers. She leaves them in a position where she feels they are in danger.

The woman is completely and totally insane. Why in the name of god would you marry, and have children with someone when you thought that person was going to sexually molest those same children?

[fakepigtails73]

This reminds me of the rules some cities have imposed at public parks that forbid non-childed adults to be there because peope without kids are apparently all rapists and kidnappers.

These exists? Where? Which parks?

During the summer I like reading or jetting ideas for my novel in a park, although being childless myself I tend to choose the area of the parks with many trees and grass further away from the playground area.

Talk about paranoia on the part of parents and the city councils... :naughty:

People without kids tend to have more income (for the most part) than lots of families , so they end up paying more in city taxes. They should be able to enjoy their city parks as much as everyone else. Anyways, people in neighbourhoods tend to recognize each other after a while, so if they see a man sitting by himself staring at kids in front of the plastic slide day in day out then they could do something against him I presume. Parents are in the parks to watch their kiddos, anyways...

ETA: I have a visceral hatred for pedophiles but I wish that more people knew that their kids have more chances to be molested by a sports coach, teacher or mommy's new boyfriend than by some random man roaming the city, ready to snatch a kid walking along. "Stranger danger" is emphasized way to much since the late 80s; yup, we have to be streetwise but to teach our kids to "never speak to an adult you don't know" can be fatal if one day they get lost at the mall and ask no one for help because of that.