What's going on with Christopher & Anna Marie?

[Becca]

Wow, I (and I'm sure most of the rest of us) had no idea she had such serious health issues! I just recall seeing a picture of her helping with some task when the family came out to Kansas during what I think they would define as the "courting" (or engaged to become engaged) stage.

I wish her all the best, especially if her parents are seemingly ignoring these issues and not getting her the help (and possibly meds) that she might need to make her life easier. So sad. :(

PS: I've had about 10 posts eaten this last week alone! Grrrr.... glad you're on west coast time, although if you're near Anna's family, you're definitely not near the coast) and could answer a fellow west coaster's question. Nice cool seabreeze on my back right now. :mrgreen:

Actually, Anna's family lives very near the coast in Gray's Harbor WA, I live in Everett, WA...both within view of the pacific.

[theologygeek]

The worst was when they called themselves 2nd generation christians, since my grandparents and their parents and so on had all raised christian children, basically calling us all heathens for not being perfect little fundies. And yes, the Maxwells are very extreme compared to what we've seen from them.

Just because they call themselves Christians doesn't mean they are. They are hypocrites, using God's name to make money. They tell women to be keepers of the home, while the women and children in the family are working outside of the home. If you're in another state selling your wares, you are working outside the home. I'm surprised that the people who buy into their garbage don't see this.

[Koala]

Becca~ I always feel particularly sorry for fundie children who go from being "normal" kids, to living a rigid, cult like lifestyle. I also feel sorry for the families who have to watch it slowly happen....it must be absolutely sickening. Do you have any idea what happened?

I hope you don't mind my asking (and if you do, please ignore me), but do you worry that someone from the family might see you posting here?

I think it is the height of disrespect that the Maxwell family feel like they have dibs on the names "Sarah" and "Anna", to the point that they just come right out and rename anyone who shares a name with them. I would absolutely refuse to acknowledge them if they insisted on calling me something other than my given name.

My heart breaks for Anna's little sister. Many of us at FJ have long suspected that a special needs child would not fare well in a "fundie" home....unfortunately it seems that we were right....How very sad.

[WonderingInWA]

This is a fascinating thread! Thanks for sharing, Becca! I think we have all been very curious to know what it's like to be around the Maxwells and also to know what it was like to attend that awful wedding!

BTW, I'm in Bothell! We live close!

[fundiefan]

Yeah, the renaming of people is arrogant and rather stupid and there is no way I'd allow someone else to give me a different name just to make their life easier.

I've always just kind of hoped that Christopher & Anna were doing their own thing and finding their own way, removed from the influence and control of daddy Maxwell. It does have to be quite a change and adjustment to go from daddy's rules and ways to your own, figuring out what works for you and your family and how to live your life.

The stone cold silence from the family about them in any way is odd and leads to interesting questions. But, again, there is the hope that it is their choice to distance themselves from the Maxwell machine.

[1004srs]

I do feel sorry for Anna. I wonder if Christopher is abusive? I hope not, she seemed to have such a pleasant life before she got married.

[tehfanglyfish]

Just a quick PSA regarding albinism - while Anna's sister might have a mental handicap, this is not true of everyone with albinism. The majority of people with this condition are perfectly normal with the exception of their lack of pigment (which is what contributes to their other main difference, limited eye sight). I'm bringing this up only because someone very close to me has albinism and sometimes gets treated as if she is mentally different as well as physically, when she's actually rather brilliant.

(I also don't think anyone in this post was offensive, implied all people with albinism are mentally handicapped, etc. I just wanted to put it out there because it is apparently a common misconception. Since it's a rarer condition, a lot of people don't know much about it.)

[demgirl]

That wedding was so sad. From appearances (I only saw photos, not livestream) it really was All. About. The. Maxwells. I hope Anna's okay and adjusting well. It's hard to believe anyone would chose to marry into the Maxwell family. I've often wondered if that might explain in part why the kids take so long to marry. I would think if you were a prospective spouse, you might be okay with the fundie-ism, but the rampant anti-joy, anti-fun, anti-anything but work seems like it would be too extreme for most.

[Becca]

Becca~ I always feel particularly sorry for fundie children who go from being "normal" kids, to living a rigid, cult like lifestyle. I also feel sorry for the families who have to watch it slowly happen....it must be absolutely sickening. Do you have any idea what happened?

I hope you don't mind my asking (and if you do, please ignore me), but do you worry that someone from the family might see you posting here?

I think it is the height of disrespect that the Maxwell family feel like they have dibs on the names "Sarah" and "Anna", to the point that they just come right out and rename anyone who shares a name with them. I would absolutely refuse to acknowledge them if they insisted on calling me something other than my given name.

My heart breaks for Anna's little sister. Many of us at FJ have long suspected that a special needs child would not fare well in a "fundie" home....unfortunately it seems that we were right....How very sad.

Anna's mother met her father in college through YWAM. They did a lot of evangelism and plays and ministry and such, so they were always religious. It started around the time the oldest was school=aged, I always thought it started when they began looking into the whole christian homeschooling thing and it just spiraled out of control from there. I'm a little nervous about family reading this...most of my family wouldn't care, although Anna's might; the only other people who may read this are the Maxwells and I don't really care what they think.

[Becca]

Just a quick PSA regarding albinism - while Anna's sister might have a mental handicap, this is not true of everyone with albinism. The majority of people with this condition are perfectly normal with the exception of their lack of pigment (which is what contributes to their other main difference, limited eye sight). I'm bringing this up only because someone very close to me has albinism and sometimes gets treated as if she is mentally different as well as physically, when she's actually rather brilliant.

(I also don't think anyone in this post was offensive, implied all people with albinism are mentally handicapped, etc. I just wanted to put it out there because it is apparently a common misconception. Since it's a rarer condition, a lot of people don't know much about it.)

Thank you for realizing that I didn't mean that all people with albinism are mentally handicapped. It was late and I wasn't quite putting sentences together the way I wanted to. It seems that a lot of her issues are due to being left in an orphanage where she was neglected because of her albinism until a young toddler.

[MamaJunebug]

Becca wrote:

I highly doubt that Sarah attended the Journey. Although her family won't admit to it, it's pretty apparent to the rest of us that she is mentally retarded. She also has extremely bad eyesight which is common among albinos and they hardly let her out of her sight. They have a lot of trouble controlling her in public and I believe that it maddens them to no end. In fact I recall a conversation with Anna's mother in which she mentioned that the Maxwell girls have been giving them tips on how to manage her behavior in public.

I added the emphasis. How has the mother of Anna and Sarah accepted the Maxwell girls' "tips on how to manage" the behavior of her adult daughter who she has raised from an infant? And when you say "the Maxwell girls" does that mean Teri and the daughters or just the daughters?

Because it seems to me that none of the Maxwell women, save Mrs. Christopher Maxwell (Anna) has any experience in raising or living with a person with vision impairment and mental retardation*. How awfully nice** of the the Maxwell women to pitch in their helpful advice.

Notes to readership at large, not to Becca:

* Please no ragging on the m.r. term. I know it's not entirely p.c. anymore but it's too early for me to look up the "proper term"

** Yes, that's all sorts of sarcasm there. Because it's early and I don't have my other mental tools sharpened yet.

Honestly, the arrogance of the Ms!!! :angry-tappingfoot:

[SinInTheCamp]

I believe this is the first time she's been back here since the wedding. It seemed like kind of a last minute visit thing actually. I was as surprised as everyone else to not get an email announcing her pregnancy as I received when they started courting, and again when they were engaged. It sounds like she calls or emails her parents pretty regularly, but only my grandfather has seen her besides them since the wedding.

(Italics are mine.)

Are you saying she is pregnant and you didn't get an email announcing it? This could also be interpreted as she isn't pregnant yet and you were surprised at the lack of an email announcing such, but I'm thinking the family silence with regards to Christopher and Anna has been to let them get through the first trimester of a pregnancy safely before saying anything (especially after the issues Melanie had.)

[MamaJunebug]

Becca, I thought of another question, if I may.

Any idea what attracted the Maxwells to tornado alley/place of harsh winter and burning summers (i.e., eastern Kansas) from Washington state, which while like any place has its problems sounds pretty idyllic to me especially vis-a-vis the Midwest?

Wow, that was a mouthful! I'm saving up on punctuation this morning. But thanks for any answer you might have. ;) And I'm a Midwesterner, so please nobody tell me I'm wrong for speaking the truth abou the climate! :D

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Maybe Christopher took her home and dropped her off...

Maybe they just don't feel like sharing their life on a blog.....Maybe they want to be more "normal?" than the rest of the family... Maybe one of them has a health problem and they don't want to discuss it? Maybe they are simply happy. Or maybe Christopher can't shake Daddy and they are condemned to years of matching frumpers and fixing Uriah.

[Koala]

Becca wrote:

I added the emphasis. How has the mother of Anna and Sarah accepted the Maxwell girls' "tips on how to manage" the behavior of her adult daughter who she has raised from an infant? And when you say "the Maxwell girls" does that mean Teri and the daughters or just the daughters?

Because it seems to me that none of the Maxwell women, save Mrs. Christopher Maxwell (Anna) has any experience in raising or living with a person with vision impairment and mental retardation*. How awfully nice** of the the Maxwell women to pitch in their helpful advice.

Notes to readership at large, not to Becca:

* Please no ragging on the m.r. term. I know it's not entirely p.c. anymore but it's too early for me to look up the "proper term"

** Yes, that's all sorts of sarcasm there. Because it's early and I don't have my other mental tools sharpened yet.

Honestly, the arrogance of the Ms!!! :angry-tappingfoot:

I agree MJB. I can't imagine the gall it takes to presume, to hand out "tips" regarding such a situation. Especially when you have no children of your own (I'm talking to you Maxwell girls), and when you have no experience with children with such needs (Terri Maxwell).

It seemed to be implied that Anna's sister (Sarah?) has a difficult time in social situations, and the the tips were regarding how to "control" her.

I think Steve and Terri are probably both control freaks, and try to take over everything and everyone around them. Thinking back to Steve's little diatribe on Easter, you could tell that he was fairly steaming that things weren't being done "their way".

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Fascinating thread. Thanks for it.

Only one small bit of trivia here, I have relatives who make and sell soap for a living, in a regular town area. They made a factory for the purpose (like a large kitchen, mainly) in their basement, it's a new career for them after the factory they both worked in (industrial, nothing to do with soap) was outsourced years ago. It's a pretty good home business.

Which is just to say, it should be possible to do similar in Leavenworth if a person wants to do that. Soap is actually useful unlike some other things that get sold and discussed here :)

[skankbiscuit]

Another question, sorry...

By just looking at pictures, especially ones from the courtship and wedding, Anna would appear to have a meek, doormat type of personality. She actually didn't look like she had ANY personality looking at her expressions in the pictures. Is this they way she is? Or does she have a funny streak, or is she talkative? Or are the pictures just a reflection of her being completely overwhelmed?

It would be nice if she found a friend in Melanie, who actually seems like a really nice person from what I can tell...they certainly live close enough to visit daily.

[tehfanglyfish]

Thank you for realizing that I didn't mean that all people with albinism are mentally handicapped. It was late and I wasn't quite putting sentences together the way I wanted to. It seems that a lot of her issues are due to being left in an orphanage where she was neglected because of her albinism until a young toddler.

You were fine :) I just get a little PSA-ey about albinism because there are many misconceptions about it. (For example, my friend also gets asked if her parents were black because many people believe that only people of African descent have kids with albinism.) That's awful about the orphanage, though. Albinism can be immensely challenging in a supportive environment. I feel for that little girl.

[clibbyjo]

I really need more info. on Anna and Christopher,they worry me. I have bad vibes on this marriage and really,really hope its just growing pains of 2 strangers trying to figure out how to live the rest of their lives together.I would be nice to know Anna is not alone, because the Maxwell's are going to stick with Christopher and poor Anna is all alone out there under the microscope of Teri and Steve and that cannot be easy.Not to mention there is no pregnancy yet...

[moreorlessnu]

Not to mention there is no pregnancy yet...

Can you IMAGINE the prying questions one is subjected to when you haven't shown up pregnant within X months? Given how naive they are, I can see someone not knowing that they don't have to answer these types of questions.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On the pregnancy thing....Until the 1970s it was routine for people to be pretty clueless about sex. Yet my Grandmother, who married in 1926 always said "The first baby can come any time, but after that they all seem to take about 9 months...."

Basic sex, like housework, is not rocket science. Like Jim-Bob said "it's like legos!" They've easily gotten that far, I'm sure.

Remember too how awful it would be to have real fertility problems in that group--look at Christopher's brother & wife. They've been married for years, have 2 girls and one child who passed away. That must be unbearable.

I hope Christopher & Anna are just saying "none of your business" to everyone and enjoying getting to know each other. Remember, Christopher has a mom who suffered depression--it IS possible he learned compassion from this instead of domineering uber-patriarchal behavior from Daddy.

[kpmom]

Becca, you may not know this answer to this but...how exactly does Christopher make a living?

He doesn't seem to be into computers as much as Nathan, nor into construction or mechanically inclined like his younger brothers.

It's funny, when he was single and still traveling with the family, there was never a picture of him helping fix the bus, or even much of him loading and unloading. I get the feeling he doesn't like to get his hands dirty.

I can't imagine his photography brings in much $. I guess he maintains some web sites for some companies. But are those things enough to support a wife, and future kids?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

With no mortgage he really wouldn't have to earn THAT much....I can't imagine the taxes are super high in Kansas...... just a thought.

[Boogalou]

Becca, can I ask how you found this forum? I always find it ineresting how people stumble across us.

[browngrl]

On the pregnancy thing....Until the 1970s it was routine for people to be pretty clueless about sex. Yet my Grandmother, who married in 1926 always said "The first baby can come any time, but after that they all seem to take about 9 months...."

Basic sex, like housework, is not rocket science. Like Jim-Bob said "it's like legos!" They've easily gotten that far, I'm sure.

Several years ago I worked in a fertility clinic - two of our clients were a very sweet young fundie couple. We could not figure out why they were not getting pregnant - every test came back normal and both were in perfect health. Anyway, one day the nurse came out of the examination room with a funny look on her face. She said - "go in and tell them about the birds and bees in as much specific detail as possible". I asked her why and she said "trust me on this". So I could not figure out a way to broach this topic so I just went in the room and said "I'm going to say some things and I would just like you to listen and when I am done we can discuss what I have said". Then I launched into a graphic step by step explanation on how to have sex. I watched their jaws hit the floor as they nervously looked at each other as I talked. At the end I said "any comments or questions" and they both (both were blushing like crazy) hastily thanked me and left. The next visit they were pregnant. The lesson: don't assume 'it's just like legos' for everyone.