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[FJismyheadship]

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[The Archivist]

This guy is creepy with a capital C. Stay safe.

[browngrl]

This guy is creepy with a capital C. Stay safe.

I agree this guy sounds CREEPY. Be very careful.

[clibbyjo]

Would the words" Get the fuck out of here you creepy weirdo! " be too blunt?

[debrand]

Don't go to the women in his family. They are probably afraid of him. Call the police and explain the situation. Don't work for that store again.

[Austin]

Go to the police. This guy came very close to assaulting you, or at least deterring your exit, before and I think you should have gotten that put on the record then. If anything else happens, please go to the authorities. Forget his wife/mother/sister/whatever or that your brother works for him.

[Guest Anonymous]

That's not fundie, that f***ing nuts. It's not too late to call the cops and write up a report.

[bananacat]

Go to the police now. The probably won't do anything because they don't tend to take stalking very seriously, and this guy seems manipulative and will turn on the waterworks if they bother to question him. I guarantee that he will play the victim card. But when something serious and undeniable happens, at least the police will have a lead in their investigation.

[luckylibrarian]

If a lecture from a minister didn't work the first time, it won't work the second time. Report him to the police, and if you can, install a chain lock on your door. It sounds like he may be working up to an assault. Be very careful. :(

[clarinetpower]

He sounds like a stalker to me.

I think you should get a dog. I recommend a Chow Chow. They're extremely protective and can be mean little suckers. (But fluffy!)

[ladypuglover]

Call the police next time and don't you dare feel guilty for doing so! :naughty:

Don't bother with a chain lock as those are to easily broken, if a two year can bust one then an adult can. get a dead bolt lock and make sure you have one on all doors.

You may also want to use a bolt lock on your windows so when they are open they can only open so far and not far enough for him to climb through.

Make sure you have a cell phone charged and ready to use at all times.

Make sure you have that cell phone on you at all times.

Ask the police to do random drive bys through out the day and night.

Talk to your neighbors about this guy and tell them to call the police if they see him snooping around.

Don't be nice or worry about hurting any one's feelings because if he is going to hurt you he won't worry about yours.

Leave your windows,and doors locked while at home and always while you are gone.

Also change up your routine, don't be predictable. Change times you leave and come, change ways you go to work ect. Change what time of day you do errands.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Ozzie]

Get a dog, carry a knife, get a gun if you can. File reports out the wazoo and ALWAYS have your cell phone. Dude wasn't there to bake cookies, be ready to do whatever you have to to stop him.

[tehgoobster]

Call the police next time and don't you dare feel guilty for doing so! :naughty:

Don't bother with a chain lock as those are to easily broken, if a two year can bust one then an adult can. get a dead bolt lock and make sure you have one on all doors.

You may also want to use a bolt lock on your windows so when they are open they can only open so far and not far enough for him to climb through.

Make sure you have a cell phone charged and ready to use at all times.

Make sure you have that cell phone on you at all times.

Ask the police to do random drive bys through out the day and night.

Talk to your neighbors about this guy and tell them to call the police if they see him snooping around.

Don't be nice or worry about hurting any one's feelings because if he is going to hurt you he won't worry about yours.

Leave your windows,and doors locked while at home and always while you are gone.

Also change up your routine, don't be predictable. Change times you leave and come, change ways you go to work ect. Change what time of day you do errands.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

That is excellent advice. I recently read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear, and he said you should always follow your gut when you feel weird about someone. You can never be too safe.

[Sola]

I don't think being fundie is an issue here. This man is downright creepy, end of. If he even looks as though he is going to hassle you again, phone the police.

[synchroswimr]

CREEPY. Stay safe.

[Koala]

Go ahead and call the police. It needs to be on record that he is bothering you.

Don't open the door to him under any circumstances. I agree with whoever said it sounds like he is working up to something. If he comes to your door, just call the police. Normal people don't knock on their neighbors door at mid-night.

Stay safe. Get a dead bolt like LPL said, and don't bother going to his wife. He has big problems, and I can guarantee you that she will not be able to help you.

[SinInTheCamp]

I'll second the recommendation for Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear. Follow your intuition. Better safe than sorry!

[duplessis3]

And I will third the Gavin de Becker book.

I have pepperspray attached to the outside of my purse and a little aluminium pointy thing that cops use in Japan, attached to my key ring. (Warning: People think it is a sex toy...:) )

And I have a hairbrush with a dagger in it...which I had to get because hairbrush with a dagger!

(I work at a business that has a higher than normal rate of women getting assaulted so I have that stuff. Wish I had a dog to bring with me to work.)

[clibbyjo]

And I will third the Gavin de Becker book.

I have pepperspray attached to the outside of my purse and a little aluminium pointy thing that cops use in Japan, attached to my key ring. (Warning: People think it is a sex toy...:) )

And I have a hairbrush with a dagger in it...which I had to get because hairbrush with a dagger!

(I work at a business that has a higher than normal rate of women getting assaulted so I have that stuff. Wish I had a dog to bring with me to work.)

You can borrow my dogs! Catahoula Leopard dog, 100lbs of blue eyed guard dog. They will throw themselves at the door if you even pull in my driveway and when they stand on their hind legs they are 5ft. tall. :clap:

[FJismyheadship]

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[clarinetpower]

My husband and I lived in a 29 m2 apartment in Paris with a 60 lb. dog. It can be done! :) And most dogs, if used to it, can go 8 hours between walks. They sleep most of the time you are gone anyway. (Dogs sleep 20 hours/day.)

http://www.defensedevices.com/brush-knife.html

It's on sale for only $8.95!!! Better than a fundie fannypack any day.

[JesusFightClub]

"The Gift of Fear". Seriously.

A relative of mine had a boyfriend who showed up at her door one day with a knife in his pocket. She's not alive now to tell you what she said or he said, because he brought the knife for a reason.

She had been worried about him for a while. But women can fix guys, right? Or we just ignore creepy people and they go away.

Don't rely on homemade weaponry (though some of this shit sounds pretty cool!). Do like Koala said.

Don't open the door to him under any circumstances. I agree with whoever said it sounds like he is working up to something. If he comes to your door, just call the police. Normal people don't knock on their neighbors door at mid-night.

Stay safe. Get a dead bolt like LPL said, and don't bother going to his wife. He has big problems, and I can guarantee you that she will not be able to help you.

My relative opened the door. How much do we wish she hadn't.

[Austin]

"The Gift of Fear". Seriously.

I believe this is the same book we recommended the last time this asshole got into your space, FMG. I hope you pick it up. It's at the library.

Please contact authorities and don't open the door. Please be careful.

[thoughtful]

I agree about talking to authorities, and that everyone should read the deBecker book.

As for a dog -- if what you want is just the presence of a dog and the noise factor as a possible deterrent, and you will really enjoy having a dog, great.

One harmless trick, if one already has a big dog, is to use positive reinforcement to train a fake growl, bark, and/or pull on the leash on cue, with the cue being something like "easy, boy," to make it sound like you are trying to calm him down. Useful for walking past creeps, answering the door, etc., since it's all fake, and you control it.

But if you don't want a dog for any other reason, and especially if you expect a dog to actually do anything to protect you, I don't recommend getting one.

Dogs who are actually trained in protection are phenomenally expensive, the training must be kept up, and the human must also be trained in how to use the dog.

The average nice dog is unlikely to help, and much more likely to get hurt or killed, or make your situation worse, if he tries when there is real danger.

A dog that is human-aggressive, or would "protect" you due to resource guarding, is not a good dog to have in your home, for your sake. It is also a miserable way to be, for the dog, and I prefer to see dogs with these problems desensitized so they learn to be happy and harmless.

And, as a dog lover, I feel that humans should be protecting their pets, not the other way around.

[Antigone]

I agree about talking to authorities, and that everyone should read the deBecker book.

As for a dog -- if what you want is just the presence of a dog and the noise factor as a possible deterrent, and you will really enjoy having a dog, great.

One harmless trick, if one already has a big dog, is to use positive reinforcement to train a fake growl, bark, and/or pull on the leash on cue, with the cue being something like "easy, boy," to make it sound like you are trying to calm him down. Useful for walking past creeps, answering the door, etc., since it's all fake, and you control it.

But if you don't want a dog for any other reason, and especially if you expect a dog to actually do anything to protect you, I don't recommend getting one.

Dogs who are actually trained in protection are phenomenally expensive, the training must be kept up, and the human must also be trained in how to use the dog.

The average nice dog is unlikely to help, and much more likely to get hurt or killed, or make your situation worse, if he tries when there is real danger.

A dog that is human-aggressive, or would "protect" you due to resource guarding, is not a good dog to have in your home, for your sake. It is also a miserable way to be, for the dog, and I prefer to see dogs with these problems desensitized so they learn to be happy and harmless.

And, as a dog lover, I feel that humans should be protecting their pets, not the other way around.

I don't disagree with you; I actually agree, but I'm just adding another POV. I have a darling Rottie who is basically our fourth child; he fits in with the family wonderfully. He is amazingly tolerant with little ones; if they bother him, he will just get up and walk away, or just move himself out of reach. With older people or people with disabilities (a friend is a wheelchair user), he won't jump on them; he will "guard" them (sitting down by their side, licking their hand, making sure they are OK). He IS trained as an assistance dog but nothing beyond that. He is an excellent deterrent though, for unwelcome visitors (jehovah's witnesses, mormons, etc) just by sticking his head out and panting happily. If someone presents a threat, I know he would turn nasty in a minute; I think it is by natural instinct that animals will protect those they deem "family" or "Pack".

As to personal safety: I'd pretty much make sure there is always someone aware of your whereabouts, etc- all of that basic safety stuff, but ALSO do kind of map out escape routes for your house and places you frequent, I find myself doing that often now, as well as sitting with my back to the wall and eyes on the door. This nutcase does sound like trouble, and hopefully the police will be of help. Documentation can help as well; someone mentioned up thread about gathering evidence, and that is certainly of help to the police; sometimes THEY can't do something, but YOU can (Ie: taping calls, encounters, etc) but I wouldn't actively seek out him in order to do that, y'know? (I think I watch too much cop shows)...

anyway sorry for rambling. I just feel bad that you're in that situation; no one should EVER be there :cry: