On the ungodliness of stay at home dads

[GenerationCedarchip]

I knew this would happen sometime. Ugh. :roll: I'll spare you my Mark Driscoll rant and just give you the blog link:

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/12/stay-at-home-dads.html

Long story short: Stay at home dads aren't doing what God wants them to do and they're just wrong, wrong, wrong. :naughty:

[Austin]

Part of Driscoll's rant:

She [the wife] is primarily responsible for the home. This safeguards marriages against divorce and is best for children. Women are nurturers and are more keenly aware of their children's needs.

How does the wife being primarily responsible for the home "safeguard marriages against divorce" precisely? :shock:

Tell that to all the women whose working husbands have run off with their secretaries or other women they met in the workplace. Tell that to all the men whose SAH wives ran off with the landscaper. WTF is he talking about?

[LynnKaboom]

What about dads that stay at home because they run their own business from their basement? I know a few families like that where the dad stays home because he works at the house. I thought fundies were supposed to be all about the small businesses.

[VeraAnne]

My dad is a stay at home dad to my younger siblings. He's disabled, and my step-mom is not. It just makes sense for her to be the one working. They've been happily married for 25 years and have 6 kids together. Sterotype busted!

[kpmom]

Part of Driscoll's rant:

How does the wife being primarily responsible for the home "safeguard marriages against divorce" precisely? :shock:

Probably referring to the bad old days when women were financially dependent on men and were stuck in bad marriages.

[clibbyjo]

I will tell that to the homeschooling dad in my co-op.(we actually have 2 dads ) His wife is an engineer and makes way more money so he stays home and just started homeschooling.Before that he was a SAHD. Should he go work at Target for minimum wage while she stays home?

[Kitten]

What about dads that stay at home because they run their own business from their basement?

Oh, men can WORK from home (and are encouraged to do so), AS LONG AS THEY KEEP THEIR MANLINESS OUT OF WOMEN'S WORK.

Men working from home are NOT "stay at home" dads by VF/ATI standards. That moniker is reserved for those sissy sinners who actually dare do things like wash laundry, cook meals, care for the children, or clean the house -- unless, of course, they only occasionally do those things because (and ONLY because) they have JOYfully volunteered to help out the fragile females who get so easily overwhelmed by their domestic burdens. :roll:

[contrary]

I will tell that to the homeschooling dad in my co-op.(we actually have 2 dads ) His wife is an engineer and makes way more money so he stays home and just started homeschooling.Before that he was a SAHD. Should he go work at Target for minimum wage while she stays home?

Yes, he should. I've seen this point taken up on several fundie blogs, and yes...the wife should stay home and send the husband out for less pay, because it's the right thing to do.

eta: in fact, they will even say that if the husband is unemployed, they should BOTH stay home. the wife should NOT go out to work, even if the husband is unemployed.

[Cerysbell]

He then said he couldn't imagine one of their sons going in flip flops to some day care and spending the entire day there. 

What's so heinous about flip flops, or is it that they're just for girls?

I have a SAH dad in my bible study, I wonder what he would think of that. Mind you, he does run a business from home, as well as being the primary caretaker for the children. Passing judgement on him might short circuit the fundy brain. :lol:

[doggie]

How does the wife being primarily responsible for the home "safeguard marriages against divorce" precisely? :shock:

too busy with kids house and making babies to go out and meet a boy toy?

[GenerationCedarchip]

Yes, he should. I've seen this point taken up on several fundie blogs, and yes...the wife should stay home and send the husband out for less pay, because it's the right thing to do.

eta: in fact, they will even say that if the husband is unemployed, they should BOTH stay home. the wife should NOT go out to work, even if the husband is unemployed.[/quote]

Oh my goodness - I remember seeing a whole series on that somewhere! The woman's husband got laid off and she posted all about their survival plan and how SHE most definitely was not going to go back to work and start teaching again. Oh, no way. Things were much better with her at home. Blog=Smockity Frocks

[Maggie Mae]

I'll forward this to my dad, who stayed home with me for 18 years while my mom worked. I'm sure he will love to hear that he did it wrong.

For the record, my dad made a much better "mom" than my mom. My mom = not nurturing. Mom = not patient or even all that interested in anything that I enjoy. I went to my mom when I wanted help with my homework or a lecture on not smoking. I went to my dad if I was puking, bleeding, needed a hug, advice on anything, or wanted food. Mom = person to watch tv with. Dad = person to talk about tv with.

I can't stand that fundies don't understand that people are different. There is no "one size fits all" family.

[emmiedahl]

My stepfather was a stay-at-home dad for a while. He is very nurturing, much more so than my mother. I mean, I love her but she is a hard-ass and a micromanager and she gets pissed when children mess up her plans. My stepdad is very "go with the flow" and has been kick-ass at dealing with all of us. He ran a business from home at the time and was going to teaching school in the evenings, so it would have made no sense for the family to lose income by having someone else stay home as well.

My husband and I usually trade off the kids, so we are both stay-at-home parents at various parts of the week. Our children are very close to both of us. It is weird when I read about how little most dads spend time with their kids, because I do just my fair half of the parenting.

[lilwriter85]

I know two current stay at home dads. One of them is my cousin who is going to college for respiratory therapy in the evenings and he takes care of his son during the day, while his wife is at work. My cousin will enter the health care field sometime next summer after finishes RT degree. The other guy is a former co-worker of mine who lost his job due to downsizing back in 2008. His wife makes a good living and after he lost his job the moved to smaller city that has a lower cost of living. He had trouble looking for work so he decided to stay at home with his three daughters. He has twins that are 5 and 7 year old daughter. He does occasional painting and handyman work and he is happy being home with his girls. He is unsure if he will ever return to work.

This blogger would probably hate my cousin and my friend for being stay at home dads.

[Shirley MacLaine]

My dad stayed home with me after I was born while my mother worked. My mother had a good salary and my father didn't have his degree yet, so it wouldn't have made any sense for her to stay home instead of him. He eventually finished his degree and went to work. My mother still pulls a higher salary, and my father does most of the cooking. Everything turned out ~fine.~

[Bookworm89]

Dang, there goes my potential future plan to have my future husband stay at home...not.

I would have preferred my step-dad to stay at home rather then my mom when I was growing up. But if I had been living with my bio-dad then I wouldn't have wanted to him or my step mom to stay a home. Things work out the way they should in most cases.