File this under: Yet another reason I can't stand Kendal

[Extricated]

My parents made me eat it all. I tried stalling until it was cold but they would put it in the microwave. Throwing up didn't work because there was always extra to add to my plate. I'm not at all picky now.

My husband was raised the opposite. His mother made whatever anyone wanted no matter what. To her dinner was a time to enjoy not fight over. She still makes enormous amounts of foods with 3 or more choices of every food group for holidays. Husband is extremely picky. I've taken to sneaking things into his food using methods written in cookbooks meant to hide vegetables for kids.

We take the middle ground for our kids. I only cook one meal and it almost always includes something that they like and dislike. If they try a large bite of everything on their plate then they can have a piece of candy afterward to mask the taste. Candy makes everything better. ;) In the rare case they dislike everything 2 meals in a row then they can fix themselves a sandwich. So far they have all been pretty adventurous with food by 6.

[desertvixen]

It's assumed that parents should be bribing, begging, pleading, and doing flips to get kids to obey.

No. When it comes to the issue of food (my daughter is 5), if I am making something for myself that I know she does not like, I make her something else. Like soup. That way she gets fed and I get what I want to eat. When I make dinner, I don't flip out because she didn't clean her plate - sometimes she is not hungry and sometimes she will eat everything on her plate and want some off of mine.

She doesn't get to not eat dinner at all and then have yummy dessert all night, but she gets to have her choices about food respected. There are some things I just hate to eat, and trying to eat them will make me want to throw up. I have had some of those dislikes since childhood. Why would she be any different?

He and I both feel that "lazy" parenting is an epidemic and it's ultimately hurting our children. We can't seem to figure out why this is such a problem for today's modern family. Maybe that's just the problem, our modern thinking. We like to use all kinds of modern physco babble that validates our child's behavior.

No, some of us just feel it is inappropriate for parents to spend a day at home "training" our child. Are there lazy parents? Yes. There are parents who hand most of the work over to younger siblings, parents whose idea of homeschooling doesn't involve teaching nine year old girls how to read, parents who apparently have their kids doing all the work.

Plus, as anyone knows who has actually tried methods like time-out, it takes more time to do that effectively than it does to just give the kid the belt.

From the comments:

My husband & I often discuss how we will handle things when our turn comes & I know we will be on our knees a lot :)

Well, glad that someone who reads that blog has some fun, but oversharing much? (Yes, I know that's not what they meant...)

[duplessis3]

We had a two bite rule in my house - you have to have two bites. (I did this with friends kids too - and oddly enough at my house they will eat 2nd and 3rd helpings of things they won't eat at home.) After that, find something else.

I hate pineapple - the smell alone makes me heave. Luckily, no one ever forces you to eat pineapple. (My brother is the same way so we probably have some sensitivity to an enzyme in it or something.)

[Guest Anonymous]

My parents always made us try whatever it was we didn't want to eat, just a bite or two and that's it. I don't force my daughter to eat anything she doesn't want to and now she is more willing on her own to try different foods and I encourage it.

[Effie]

I don't think I'm a picky eater. My mum thought so because I was always the last one at the table. I could sit for two hours before I was done eating some kind of steak. I never liked the taste or consistency of meat. It was just somehow repulsive to me. At the day nursery, I took the fish fingers on my plate, and threw them under the dinner table ( :shhh:)... when no one saw.

Mum forced me to eat at times. As a 3-year-old I refused to eat her mince meat sauce. At one time, she tried to make me eat it, and then I spit it all out on her. As a little child, I didn't know where meat came from. When I saw the mincemeat sauce I immediately thought of the neighbour's poodle. I didn't want to eat poodle.

As a vegetarian I can now eat everything (except meat of course). Oh and I dislike big, white beans. Lima beans, they are ok! My grandma used to buy fresh lima beans at the market. I enjoyed what was inside. :) Anything else? I dislike beer. I seriously love food though.

[browngrl]

My parents were pretty sensible about food. You had to try new foods and you had to take at least one bite of the meal.I was never a picky eater except with one food. I would not touch it in any form. Seeing how strongly I felt about this one thing - my parents stopped trying to make me eat it at all. Years later I was working in an allergy clinic. On a whim I decided to get tested for allergies to this food. Lo and behold - I had a strong allergic reaction! So there you go. Sometimes children won't eat something for a medical reason that they are not yet articulate enough to describe.

[Kitten]

Here's the REAL question for Kendal - Does she cook foods that SHE dislikes, then eat them, to show her kids HER obedience to God? Does she cook foods her HUSBAND dislikes, or does his patriarchical holiness give him a free pass to be catered to by his submissive wife?

I totally disagree with forcing kids to eat everything on their plate. I read words like "We broke her will..." and just shudder. I can only imagine what that involved.

I was a picky eater. I often went without dessert, because second options such as PBJ sandwich were not available in my house. You simply went hungry until the next meal. There were many foods I didn't eat until my late teens/early 20s, and there are still foods I don't and won't ever eat.

BUT...several years ago, I was diagnosed with a medical condition that precludes a wide variety of foods. Surprise - many of them were the exact foods I had instinctively disliked as a child. Sometimes there is a very real physical basis to our innate preferences. If my parents had forced me to eat certain foods, I would have had even more medical issues than I did.

Hence, I employed the "You have to try it, but you don't have to eat it" approach with my kids, but I combined that with constantly serving a wide variety of foods and spices from all over the world, so that they did not fixate on the "standard American diet." I also cooked without salt as much as possible, to minimize the impact on their taste buds.

Worked like a charm - as adults, while they each have their food preferences, they all enjoy eating all kinds of foods, and have very healthy diets.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Maybe I should invite Kendal over for dinner....

I'd serve our favorite dish: Mock saag paneer. I puree spinach, cottage cheese, garlic, ginger, hot chili pepper, green curry paste, various Indian curry spices, cottage cheese and evaporated mik together, and cook them up with some chunks of tofu. I think it's yummy, but my own parents think it's puke on a plate.

If she or her husband are in the latter category, I can yell at them and say that I'm sure that they would love my cooking if they were on the verge of starvation.

Speaking of which....I always hear that "they would eat if they were starving" line, and it strikes me as very odd. My kids, thankfully, are NOT starving, so why would I want to replicate a scenario where they were? Also, I'm a bit vain about my cooking, so "I guess I'd eat if it if the alternative was death by starvation" isn't how I would want anything to think about my food.

[emmiedahl]

I am completely against coercing kids to eat. I was forced by threats, spankings, evenings in bed to eat fish when I was small. Whenever I ate it, I would projectile vomit and break out in hives, which made me hate it more. I got to the point where even the smell of seafood made me retch. My mother still made me eat it.

It ends up I am allergic to iodine. The vomiting and rashes were not drama. My mother has very few parenting fails under her belt, but that certainly is one of them.

edited for riffle

[Kelya]

My mom made me sit to eat spaghetti once. Everytime I looked at it I saw and felt worms. I sat there for four hours before she realized I would sit there for eternity before I ate "worms." When I was even younger I swore off eating anything other than mashed potatoes and very soft broccoli, saying that other food hurt my mouth. The pediatrician told her to institute a one bite rule and in the meantime, feed me lots of soups until I grew out of it.

18 years later and I have sensory processing issues and texture sensitivities. I think of how much easier my life would have been as a kid if we'd known more about them and gotten me evaluated instead of just brushing me off as picky and fussy. I hope none of her kids are atypical in this way, poor things.

[O Latin]

Okay, anyone else hates when others try to push their food on you [that they know you HATE], because if you only try THEIR version, you'll love it! I've heard that line sooooooooooooooooooo many times about foods I hate and I always feel the need to be polite, take a bite and try not to vomit before I can get that nasty food out of my mouth.

Yes, that drives me crazy. But what I hate even more was how my dad used to tell me I should "learn to like" things. I am really not a picky eater. The two things I can't stand are onions and peppers. I can't even be in the same room with foods that contain these things because the smell makes me want to vomit. I always wondered why it was so important to "learn to like" two measly things when there are so many things to eat in this world. I think I'll just stick to all the rest of them rather than wrestling with the two things I hate.

[mirele]

OMG, is there any food worse than lima beans? My Dad used to make this disgusting dish of creamed corn and lima beans. I despise lima beans, I'm with you. I'd eat broccoli before a lima bean would ever touch my lips.

Navy beans. My mom loved cooking them. I thought they tasted slightly bitter and had the texture of sand. However, I was OK with lima beans and loved pinto and kidney beans.

My mom was one of those "eat three bites" people. If we ate three bites of something we weren't fond of, that was fine. The only exception was fried liver. My dad loved it, we hated it. She'd cook him liver and we got something else.

[Austin]

Navy beans. My mom loved cooking them. I thought they tasted slightly bitter and had the texture of sand. However, I was OK with lima beans and loved pinto and kidney beans.

My mom was one of those "eat three bites" people. If we ate three bites of something we weren't fond of, that was fine. The only exception was fried liver. My dad loved it, we hated it. She'd cook him liver and we got something else.

Oh, lawd, my papa loved teh ebil liver, too. I remember running out of the house when momma was cooking it, but she never made me eat it. To this day, I can't stand that smell. :twisted:

[almostfundylyte]

I use a "3 hates" rule w/my 9 year old. He can have 3 foods he hates, and does not have to try. The catch is he can't change his 3 hates after I've started cooking, but he can change them any other time. Currently, he doesn't have to eat spinach, gravy in any form, or chicken cordon bleu. If, after I've started cooking, and he decides something "looks gross" he has to try one decent sized bite. If he doesn't like it, no big deal, he can have a sandwich or a bowl of cereal.

My mom was a lot like Kendall, and every meal required a clean plate. If it was a food she knew I didn't like, I got an extra large serving of it. Things I liked I was only given a small serving of, and could not have more of until I ate everything else, so I would sneak the good food later on. As an adult, it's taken me a long time to have a healthy relationship with food, and I'm still working on shedding the extra pounds.

[Daisy4]

Oh, lawd, my papa loved teh ebil liver, too. I remember running out of the house when momma was cooking it, but she never made me eat it. To this day, I can't stand that smell. :twisted:

UGH liver, my Mom once told me it was steak and I ate a bite before realizing it wasn't. I don't know if it was the same night but I remember once sitting at the kitchen table until bed time because I wouldn't eat my dinner. I must have won that battle because I don't remember that happening often and I was a very stubborn kid.

If I grew up in a fundie family they would have a tough time "breaking" my will! :cry: :cry:

[2Cents]

I grew up in a home that stressed the whole "one must eat everything that is put before you" meal times were horrible. As a parent I do not see why meal times need to be made into a battle ground, the only rule I have now is that you must taste it, you can't say you don't like the food based on sight alone. If after the tasting they don't like it then they're stuck with a sandwich or cereal but at least they tried it.

[Guest Anonymous]

Mmmm, lima beans - I just googled and found they are butter beans and a staple ingredient in my ham and bean soup. Why force them on anyone else? Just leave them all for me and we will both be happy? :D

I grew up in a poor family in the 1970s and my parents couldn't afford to present lots of options, but I was never forced to eat anything I hated and have grown up with a much broader palette than my parents. :D I think the important thing with kids is to offer as wide a selection of food as possible when they are weaning and then most kids will discover enough 'likes' for there not to be any huge issues.

Unless you are a control freak and need to control. every. aspect. of. their. lives. Loving Chengdu's gentle interrogation. Kendal so doesn't want to admit that they spank their kids for disliking certain foodstuff. Vile Bitch.