Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 33

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"Pootie Happy Place"

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The talking point on Fox News and with Republicans in Congress is that President Joe Biden is weak on Russia and Vladimir Putin is going to play him. Seriously. Unless President Biden gets down on all fours and allows Putin to use him as a foot stool, he can’t come off weaker than Donald Trump did…and even then, the foot stool strategy would be tougher on Putin than Trump.

Donald Trump wasn’t just soft on Putin…he was a fan boy.

During the 2016 campaign, Trump praised Putin. He praised Putin while criticizing the American president. He loved Putin so much, he defended the guy when Bill O’Reilly pointed out he was a killer. He loved Putin so much, he even lied about meeting the guy. He loved Putin so much, he tried to bribe him with a penthouse in a Moscow Trump Tower.

During the 2016, Russia helped Donald Trump win the presidency. This is a fact. Russia attacked his opponent, hacking into the Democratic Party’s campaign and giving the emails to Wikileaks to publish. Today, no Republican can tell you what was actually revealed. It’s like an, “A-ha! There’s something!” They couldn’t have told you then either, but a lot of goons seemed to think there was something in there about pedophilia at a pizza shop.

Russia was the one doing the hacking and they gave the seized information to Wikileaks. They did this the same day Donald Trump said, “Russia, if you’re listening.” They were listening.

Trump loved Putin so much, that his campaign invited Russians into its headquarters at Trump Tower to provide dirt on Hillary Clinton. Russia already had a “useful idiot” operating inside the campaign. At one point, Trump’s campaign was operated by Paul Manafort, a man who helped a Russian puppet become president of Ukraine. Under his leadership, the Trump campaign gave internal polling to people connected with Russia, who in turn gave that information to Russia.

Russia loved the idea of a Trump presidency so much that they specifically targeted Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, even promoting Jill Stein to pull votes from Hillary Clinton. They knew to do this from the internal campaign polling they had been given. Russia even funneled money into the National Rifle Association for them to spend on campaigning for Trump.

After Trump and Russia stole the White House, Jared went to the Russian embassy to inquire about setting up a back channel for communication. Trump even hired Michael Flynn to be his National Security Adviser, a guy who had been paid to make appearances in Russia.

During Trump’s debate with Hillary Clinton, she accused him of being “Putin’s puppet.” His witty response was, “You’re the puppet.” Later, during his summit with Putin, Trump said he didn’t see any reason why Putin would hack the election. That translates to, “I’m the puppet.” Trump, Putin’s Puppet, took Putin’s word over our national intelligence. During the summit, Trump kicked everyone out of the room except his interpretors so he could be alone with Putin. Afterward, he confiscated the notes from the interpreters.

Donald Trump even gave classified information to Russia when he invited Russians into the Oval Office, where he allowed them to bring recording equipment after he kicked out the American press.

President Joe Biden has to have a summit with Putin just to set him straight. He has to let Putin know the business of Trump is over and that we have a president now who will put our nation before Russia. The praise and worship of oligarchs like Putin and Kim Jong Un, where an American president gives them credibility, is over. There will not be a public press conference with the two presidents.

Vladimir Putin is very experienced when it comes to face-to-face meetings with leaders of democratic nations. President Joe Biden is also experienced with foreign policy and dealing with autocratic leaders. He’s met Putin before. He’s meeting Putin to confront him, not join his fan club.

There is nothing President Biden can do that would endanger our nation more than it was by that national security threat who went to Helsinki to kiss Putin’s ass.

 

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"Reinstatement Buddies"

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Is Benjamin Netanyahu smarter than Donald Trump? While he likes to dish out the occasional conspiracy theory, I seriously doubt he’s dumb enough to use Trump’s lawyers and advisers.

Bibi and Trump are reinstatement buddies with both promising to return. A return to office is possible with both, though Trump will NOT be “reinstated,” and both have to get through a lot of legal troubles before they can mount any serious comebacks. For Trump, he can’t be taken seriously.

You can’t be taken seriously when your advisers, morons like Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and the MyPillow goon are spreading lies about Hugo Chavez meddling in the election, voting machines and Italian satellites changing votes, bamboo in ballots shipped from China, and the lies Trump won and can be reinstated.

Mike Lindell, the MyPillow idiot and former crackhead, swears Donald Trump is going to be reinstated. The only problem with that is, that’s not how our government operates. Do you know why none of the people who claim Trump will be reinstated, including Donald Trump, have explained how? Because there is no way a former president can be reinstated. A basic civics will teach you this. Nevertheless, nearly 30 percent of Republicans believe Trump will be reinstated.

It will also be hard to regain control of your nation’s highest office from prison. Here’s a fun fact: If Donald Trump goes to prison, he can still run for president from prison. It’s actually been done before. Can Bibi? I don’t know and unlike the Qnuts, I don’t just make shit up. I haven’t taken a course on Israeli civics.

What I do know is that both men, Trump and Netanyahu, are lying sacks of crap who are both corrupt. Now, neither of them can seek asylum in the other’s nation to avoid prosecution. For both men, there’s always Russia, if Putin will have them. They would both have to bring a lot of cash.

Bibi’s trial starts in July. While Trump expects to be reinstated in August, I’m hoping to see criminal charges brought against him in that month.

Israel is moving forward without Bibi, who has served as prime minister for a total of 15 years (two terms). The United States is moving forward without Trump….well, most of us. Both men have been obstructions for peace. Now, maybe these two hateful zealots can spend more time together, perhaps playing golf at Mar-a-Lago with lots of alligator hazards.

Watch out, Bibi…Trump will steal your balls.

 

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"Republican Medals"

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Yesterday, Vladimir Putin compared Alexei Nevalny to the white nationalists terrorists who attacked the Capitol in a bloody coup attempt to make Donald Trump this nation’s first dictator.

Alexei Nevalny is considered the man Putin fears the most. He’s an opposition leader who the Russian government has convicted twice on embezzlement charges in order to prevent him from running for president. Since that wasn’t enough to silence his voice, they tried to murder him. They poisoned him which made him flee to Germany for medical treatment, violating his parole. Nevalny returned to Putin’s Russia knowing they would probably throw him in prison, after trying to murder him, for violating his parole.

The MAGA terrorists attacked the capitol to stop Congress from performing its constitutional duty. They did this act based on a lie. Nearly 500 have been charged with crimes. While Nevalny returned to Russia knowing he could be thrown in prison where they would try again to kill him, the MAGA terrorists have cried for their mommies.

Nevalny was poisoned through his food. While in prison, he has been starved. The Qanon Shaman’s mommy cried to a judge that jail food is too tough for her Q baby and it gives him the rumbly tummy.

Republicans will probably love Putin’s comparison. Though, Putin was trying to frame Alexei Nevalny as someone as horrible as the MAGA terrorists, Republicans will frame this as their terrorists being persecuted crusaders for their nation, like Nevalny. Amnesty International has listed Alexei Nevalny as a “prisoner of conscience.” The MAGA terrorists don’t have consciences.

Alexei Nevalny is brave and returned to fascist Russia to face consequences from an unfair justice system controlled by a autocrat. The MAGA terrorists only attacked the Capitol because they had large numbers and when brought to accountability, cried like babies. Many are using the legal defense of being too stupid to think for themselves, blaming Trump for goading them and Fox News for giving them “Foxitus.”

Vladimir Putin refuses to say Nevalny’s name. Republicans refuse to use the word “insurrection” in regards to the insurrection. But, some are real good at using “executed” for the death of Ashli Babbitt, a MAGA terrorist killed by Capitol Police while trying to climb through a broken window inside the Capitol. Republicans are framing Babbitt as a hero when the fact is, she was a terrorist.

Ashli Babbitt attacked her government trying to stop the certification of an election and to install a dictatorship. She tried to stop the democratic process. She tried to overturn a democratic election. She is the very definition of a terrorist. The heroes on January 6 are the Capitol Police who fought against her insurrection.

Yesterday, the House overwhelmingly passed a resolution to award the Congressional Gold Medal to the officers who defended the Capitol from Donald Trump’s terrorists. The vote was 406-21.

Yes, 21 House members voted against giving the Gold Medal to cops. You would think something like this would have been unanimous. It would seem that voting to give medals to cops who fought terrorists would be an easy work day, a no-brainer, and be like a day with cake. But no. All 21 no votes came from Republicans…you know, the people who always cry that “blue lives matter” and rail against “defunding the police.” You know, the same people who always pontificate about how much they are for the rule of law. Why, they’re the law-and-order party. They seek justice. They back our boys and girls in blue.

Republicans are not the party of law and order. They’re the party of white nationalist terrorists and bullshit. Just like their claims of patriotism have been exposed as lies by their love for all that is Trump and Putin, their claims of supporting police are total hogwash too.

Why did 21 Republicans, all Trump supporters with a few being Qnuts, vote against giving medals to cops? Because the bill described the rioters as “a mob of insurrectionists.”

Thomas Massie from Kentucky (a yee-haw state) said, “”If they just wanted to give the police recognition, they could have done it without trying to make it partisan, without sticking that in there.” Once again, a Republican steps all over himself and says the quiet part out loud. Insurrections are partisan…and insurrections are Republican.

Opposing ISIS and al Qaeda is easy…but I guess it’s harder to oppose terrorism when the terrorists look like you, eh, white boy?

This will be a shocker but Marjorie Taylor Greene also voted no and said she did so because the bill referred to the Capitol as a “temple” and it doesn’t look anything like “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” She also said, “I wouldn’t call it an insurrection.” Would she call it “tourism” as another Republican has? In her defense, she did just find out about the Holocaust. Did you guys hear about this Holocaust thing? Who knew? We should tell more people.

Scott Perry, a Republican from Pennsylvania, said giving the medal to cops was “disgusting.” No, disgusting was in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” when they ate all the live squirmy baby snakes. Giving medals to cops, not so much. But hey, feel free to tear the Capitol Police officers’ beating hearts out.

The 21 Republicans siding with terrorists over cops are Marjorie Taylor Green, Scott Perry, Thomas Massie, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Andy Biggs, Michael Cloud, Andrew Clyde, Warren Davidson, Louie Gohmert, Bob Good, Paul Gosar, Andy Harris, Jody Hice, Mary Miller, Barry Moore, Ralph Norman, John Rose, Matt Rosendale, Chip Roy, and Greg Steube.

I know. A lot of names on that list truly come as a surprise. In case you’re a Republican, that was sarcasm.

Gerald Connolly, a Democrat from Virginia, said, “They voted to overturn the election. But in their vote today, they kind of sealed the deal of basically affiliating with the mob.” Dude, every single Republican who professes their loyalty to Donald Trump, says he’s the leader of their party, rushes to Mar-a-Lago for a photo-op with the goon, and says he won the election has sealed the deal of siding with terrorists. They bought that puppy, put it in a box, giftwrapped it, didn’t poke any any airholes into the box, and mailed it without a return address.

Connolly also said, “They now are part of the insurrectionist mob. They brought enormous disrepute and dishonor on themselves in not honoring the brave men and women who defended the Capitol of the United States—everybody in it, but also defending the symbol of democracy in the world, not just here in the United States.”

Putin would be proud.

 

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The Former Guy was on Shamity last night, going on about how windmills are going to kill us all.

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