Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 20

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"Q The Future"

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Usually, if a bunch of insane, racist nimrods follows a politician, that politician does all he can to distance himself from the group, even if their support helps him. There was once a time that if the only person a politician could find who supported their position was a doctor who believed in Demon sperm, that politician would say, “anyone else?” Not Donald Trump. Demon sperm be damned.

Yesterday, Donald Trump said he didn’t know much about QAnon, the far-right racist conspiracy nutjobs currently poisoning the internet. Then he said, “They like me very much” and they’re people who “love their country.”

It’s true. The Q fucknuts like Donald Trump very much. Nazis and Klansmen like him too.

While the Democratic Party is reveling in its diversity and a future that’s black, white, yellow, brown, red, gay, straight, trans, etc, The GOP has a future full of insane racist conspiracy-theory-believing fucknuts to look forward to.

In Georgia, a QAnon candidate has won her primary in a very red district which almost guarantees she’ll be in Congress next year. I hope she sits next to Matt Gaetz.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is a believer and promoter of the QAnon theory that Donald Trump is battling a deep state of cannibalistic saboteurs who worship Satan and traffic children for sex. Greene has a history of making racist, Islamophobic, and anti-Semitic comments. A lot of Republicans are upset at Kevin McCarthy, the House Minority Leader, for not doing more to prevent her victory. The truth is, McCarthy is afraid of these people.

After her victory, Greene said about House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi, “We’re going to kick that bitch out of Congress.” Nice. She also said, “There’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take this global cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles out, and I think we have the president to do it.” Then, Donald Trump called her a “future Republican star” and a “real winner.”

In the Florida Congressional district where Mar-a-Lago sits, A QAnon believer and Islamophobe, Laura Loomer, just won the GOP primary. Her victory party was attended by Roger Stone, Milo Yiannopoulos, who was too far-right for Breitbart and is a big fan of same-sex pedophilia, and Gavin McInnes, who is the founder of the white nationalist group Proud Boys. Loomer is famous for stuff like getting kicked out of an Andrew Gillum fundraiser and for calling for an alternative to Uber and Lyft that would ban Muslims. Personally, I think there should be an alternative to Uber that bans those little green tree air fresheners. Those things aren’t helping anybody.

The FBI has identified the QAnon movement as a “potential terrorist threat” and the group has been connected to numerous violent acts, including two killings, a kidnapping, vandalism of a church, and a heavily armed standoff near the Hoover Dam. Maybe they believe Hoover was controlled by the cannibalistic Satan guys. The movement started on the dark web on racist message boards with posts from a self-proclaimed government insider identified as “Q.” They’ve been craving recognition from Donald Trump. Now, they’re getting it.

Twitter recently deleted over 7,000 QAnon accounts. Republicans scream this is censoring their freedom of speech to spread racist conspiracy theories. Facebook is strongly considering getting rid of them. 

Donald Trump is the conspiracy theory candidate. He started his political career with the baseless belief President Obama wasn’t born in the United States. He’s continued to spread lies and bullshit since taking office. QAnon believes President Obama and Hillary Clinton are still controlling the deep state cannibalistic devil worshipers working to usurp Trump. Some in the Q believe the deep staters people-eating devil worshippers are also lizard people. To be fair, if they’re lizard people, then they’re not cannibals for eating humans…unless of course, they’re also eating other lizard people. 

In 2016, a man traveled from North Carolina to fire three shots into Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington, D.C. Why? Because he believed Hillary Clinton and John Podesta were operating a child-sex ring from the basement of the pizza shop. This was a conspiracy spread by QAnon. As it turns out, there was not a child-sex ring being operated from the basement of Comet Ping Pong. There wasn’t even a basement.

These are the people the Republican Party isn’t just refusing to reject, but is afraid to alienate. These are the people Donald Trump is praising as “real winners” and the future of the Republican Party.

The future of the Democratic Party is diverse, progressive, and educated. They argue ideas. The future of the Republican Party is full of Nazis, Klansmen, and Q where they argue conspiracy theories.

Here’s a tip: When you’re on the same side as Nazis, Klansmen, and fucknut conspiracy theorists who believe in deep state cannibalistic, Satan-worshipping lizard people, you’re on the wrong side.

 

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"Season of Darkness"

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In his speech accepting the Democratic Party’s nomination for the presidency of the United States, Joe Biden said he’ll be an “ally of the light” and said, “Make no mistake, united we can and will overcome this season of darkness in America.”

Donald Trump retorted it was the “darkest and gloomiest convention in American history” This from the guy who gave the “American carnage” inauguration speech.

I guess Donald Trump missed the part of the convention where a child spoke of Biden helping him overcome his stutter. Hell, Donald Trump would have made fun of that child’s handicap.

Or maybe, Donald Trump missed the part where people who have lost loved ones talked about a time when meeting Joe Biden, he would give them his phone number.

Or maybe Donald Trump missed the part where Joe Biden talked about Jill Biden rebuilding his family. Maybe Trump missed Hunter and Ashley, Biden’s children, talking about their brother Beau. Maybe Trump missed the part where they ran tape of Beau talking about his father.

Maybe Donald Trump missed the part where Kamala Harris’ step-daughter talked about her “Mamala.” Perhaps Donald Trump didn’t pay any attention to the excitement of the first Black and Asian woman nominated for the vice presidency from people who look like her.

Or maybe Donald Trump missed all the black, brown, red, yellow people mixed in with all the white ones. Maybe he missed all the LGBTQ mixed in with all the straights.

Most of all, he probably missed the roll call nominating Biden coming in from every state and territory showing the diversity of this great nation. Maybe it’s all the diversity he found “dark and gloomy.” Here’s something something “dark and gloomy” for Trump supporters: You’re not the majority anymore.

Donald Trump missed a lot. He does that. He’s not big on comprehension. He’s still trying to figure out how to gauge testing per capita. If this convention really wanted Donald Trump’s attention, they would have posted photos of him every four seconds. But this convention wasn’t for Donald Trump. They weren’t talking to him.

Donald Trump doesn’t get these conventions aren’t about the candidates. They’re about the country. They’re about the people.

Donald Trump called the Democratic convention “gloomy.” Well, he and Republicans get their shot Monday. What kind of convention will Donald Trump have?

First off, they’re probably going to copy everything they can from the Democratic convention they can get away with. I wouldn’t be surprised if each state during the roll call works in something about calimari.

But I’m sure it won’t be dark and gloomy at all. I mean, this is Donald Trump we’re talking about. A man who hired Mr. Happy Go-Lucky ray of sunshine Stephen Miller. There’s some pep in that goosestep.

We’re talking about the man who wants to build a wall to keep out Mexicans and people Mexicanier than Mexicans. We’re talking about a guy who created a policy with the full intention of separating families apart. We’re talking about a guy who forced children to go to court…alone. This is a guy whose policies have killed children…yet didn’t to stop it until a court forced him too. This is the man of the baby jails.

This is a man who yelled “send them back” about four American women who each just so happened to be dark-skinned.

This is a guy who says he doesn’t want people coming here from shithole countries.

This is a guy who has praised QAnon, the conspiracy theorist movement that the government is being secretly run by Satan worshiping cannibals who drink baby blood.

This is a guy who praised Nazis. OK, he didn’t say he was praising Nazis. He said the Nazis were bad, but there were good people marching with the Nazis with tiki torches chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil.” Except…nobody walks with Nazis chanting about Jews and blood and soil. The people who march with Nazis are fucking Nazis. I mean, they’re not fucking the Nazis..they are Nazis. Well, they probably are fucking the Nazis too. Melania does. But I digress.

This is the guy who teargassed a peaceful crowd so he could walk to a church for a photo-op. This is the guy who sent secret police to cities to start riots.

I remember the Republican convention of 2016 and watching it required a shower immediately after each night. Which is OK but one should shower daily. If you’re a Trump supporter, I highly recommend it. Use soap. The biggest thing about their 2016 convention was that it was all about Trump. Quick! Name one policy detail discussed at that convention? Hell, name one real policy detail you expect at this one? Will they finally unveil the GOP healthcare plan? Probably not because they’ve only had a decade to work on it.

But that Donald Trump convention was just a shitfest of hate and a parade of troglodytes. Speaking of troglodyte parades. Who’s on the lineup for the 2020 Trump Shitfest?

Well, we have the couple from St. Louis who pointed guns at black people because they were walking down their street while being black. That’s just a big ole bucket of positivity right there.

Matt Gaetz will be there and is expected to speak. I wonder if he’ll have any comments about the teenage man he adopted.

The racist Covington kids will be there. You know, those MAGA hat-wearing private-school entitled rich kids who smirked in the face of Native Americans and gave the tomahawk chop while on a field trip in Washington.

No word yet if the MyPillow Guy or Dr. Demon Sperm will speak. But I hear Chachi will be there.

Donald Trump, the law-and-order president (sic) will actually be breaking the law during his acceptance speech. He plans to deliver it from the White House which is not legal. The White House is not supposed to be used politically. Even Melania will be breaking the law as she plans to deliver the speech she’s plagiarizing from Michelle Obama from the Rose Garden. Mike Pence will also deliver his speech from a federal memorial.

But, the darkest and gloomiest thing about the Republican convention will be Donald Trump. This is the most negative, hateful person to have ever entered American politics. His campaign is one of division, hate, racism, and us vs. them. This is the guy who tweeted out “white power.”

And the worst part is, I’m required to watch all of it.

I gotta buy more soap.

 

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I love the Daily Show videos.

 

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