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closetcagebaby

Weirdest Fundie Beliefs

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Wine time!
closetcagebaby

What do you think are some of the weirdest or strangest fundie beliefs are? My friends and I are doing a virtual powerpoint party and I think this will be my topic! I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm thinking along the lines of mormons thinking the Garden of Eden is in Jackson Country, MO.

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JermajestyDuggar

Fundie Christians think the entire Bible is truth and an actual history book. Therefore tons of crazy beliefs are all wrapped up in that alone. 

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Waffle Time
smittykins

That when someone has premarital sex, s/he is “committing adultery against their future spouse”(even if they’re doing it with said future spouse?), and that molesting your sisters is no worse than having consensual premarital sex with your boy/girlfriend.

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Red Hair, Black Dress
Posted (edited)

That if a woman has premarital sex, a bit of the DNA of every man she was with is somehow stored in her body (uterus?) so that her future children will have bits of DNA from every man she was with. So that technically the children's father isn't their father.

Umm.... genetics/biology doesn't work like that.

Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress
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Meh
formergothardite
Posted (edited)

Believing all the Bible actually happened for real and is historically accurate. So much of all the other crazy stems from this one big crazy belief that the Bible is something to be taken literally. 

That a penis automatically gives you power. 

That Cabbage Patch dolls cause difficult pregnancy and labor. 

That God is so invested in their lives will give them a parking spot they happen to want or a horse or a dress, but he just happens to never get around to answering prayers of starving children. 

That women have one less rib than men. 

That you can dig down into the earth and get close enough to hell to hear the screams and also bring up a demon on a microphone. 

 

Edited by formergothardite
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dripcurl

That everything not from the Bible is automatically from Satan.

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Marmion
On 3/27/2020 at 7:48 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

That if a woman has premarital sex, a bit of the DNA of every man she was with is somehow stored in her body (uterus?) so that her future children will have bits of DNA from every man she was with. So that technically the children's father isn't their father.

Umm.... genetics/biology doesn't work like that.

This is where this idea came from , as far as I can tell .  https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/women-retain-dna/  I have myself heard of this notion , but more specifically that if a white woman has ever had sex with a black man , all children she subsequently has will call African DNA .  Yeah , that's how far the racist rabbit hole can lead .  

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Marmion
Posted (edited)

I think that one of the strangest beliefs that some fundies might have is that of generational curses . { 

https://www.gotquestions.org/generational-curses.html , https://www.christianityeveryday.com/index.php/understanding-what-the-bible-says-about-generational-curses/ }  I want to add though that even some secular minded persons , such as seemingly Lia Marie Johnson , believe that the personal vices of patents can be inherited , I am sad to say . I feel that this attitude leads to biological determinist despair .  https://weownthenitenyc.com/lia-marie-johnson-dna-on-capitol-records/   I just hope that she , and any other persons struggling with substance abuse , will be able to find relief .  

 

 

Edited by Marmion
technical difficulty

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akinom

I think some of the Jewish Orthodox ”letter of the law” type things are funny! Like how married women aren’t supposed to show their hair, but wigs are fine. Maybe that doesn’t fit here, because it’s not really about the belief (that hair is sexy, I guess?), it’s about the practice.

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Tangy Bee
1 hour ago, akinom said:

I think some of the Jewish Orthodox ”letter of the law” type things are funny! Like how married women aren’t supposed to show their hair, but wigs are fine. Maybe that doesn’t fit here, because it’s not really about the belief (that hair is sexy, I guess?), it’s about the practice.

Yeah, and some of them shave their heads...and then wear wigs. Weird, cheap looking wigs. If I wear a wig I don't want it to look like a wig.

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zeebaneighba
28 minutes ago, Tangy Bee said:

Yeah, and some of them shave their heads...and then wear wigs. Weird, cheap looking wigs. If I wear a wig I don't want it to look like a wig.

I think that is the point; if it looks real, how do people know it is a wig?  They WANT people to know it's not their real hair.

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PennySycamore

A good friend of mine is Orthodox and she doesn't wear a sheitel; she covers her hair instead. 

Sheitel is the Yiddish word for those ugly wigs   Modern Orthodox women of means wear wigs that aren't so bad looking.  I was watching Fiddler on the Roof very late last night and you could see sheitels on many of the married women.  

The whole point of the sheitel seems to be that the woman only looks beautiful for her husband.  It was so that other men wouldn't hit on her and also to keep Jewish women from being raped by anti-Semites.  (yeah, we know now that rape is not a sexual act, but one of violence.)

 

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Waffle Time
Italiangirl

uh? i'm tired but what has the sheitel to do with rape' i mean if you wear a wig that is clearly  awig and that is know fact about orthodox women, is like having something on you that says you are Jewish so is more easier for the anti semites to identify you..

i still have an hard time to wrap my head around some of the fundie belif...like the magical penis that gives men a superior ability to do everything

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dripcurl

Many cover collarbones and calves as they believe these can cause a man to stumble

 

Many always make a big deal about how God controls their family size by using no contraception, but obviously God doesn’t dictate whether or not they have sex

 

Many want a theocracy, which is very counterintuitive to the New Testament that repeatedly implies and mandates how to practice under a separation of church and state, and preaches that this current kingdom will pass away (I’m looking at you and your 200 year plan, Geoff)

 

Many mainstream baptist circles (southern and IFB) fundies have a terrible double standard in which women are encourage to go to college and work in some capacity yet they are mandated to be solely responsible for household cooking and chores (specifically calling out the BJU universe here)

 

Many fundie homeschoolers homeschool simply to keep their kids from the ebul world and make sure they haz Bible all day, while ignoring the many and universal benefits homeschooling can bring. In my education (I attended both public and homeschool), I felt like I experienced more of the world and life being homeschooled. However, while my parents were Evangelical, we used all types of curriculum, went all types of places, and had all types of friends. All that’s to say is I giggle when fundies tout homeschooling as this Christian utopia, when in fact some Christian homeschoolers out there are exploring and loving the evil world.

 

One of the most ridiculous ones is how it’s ok for women to earn income but it must “technically” be done in the confines of the home. I see some of these women so intensely absorbed in their MLMs in the name of being a true Proverbs 31 woman (which any who can read can understand proudly did business outside of the home) that they might be able to spend more time with their kids if they just worked a part time job in the evenings. 

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Happy
PennySycamore

@Italiangirl, the sheitel was supposed to make the woman look less attractive and less likely. to their way of thinking, of being raped.  It might make the woman less attractive, but it did not lessen the woman's chance of being raped.  

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HereComesTreble

I don’t understand it—but hardcore fundies hate contemporary Christian music.  Legit, they think it’s of Satan or something because it’s modern and has a beat—even though it’s Christian music.

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Quiver Full of Kittens

The weirdest one I was taught was the firmament. The firmament was a large layer of ice above the atmosphere. It created a greenhouse effect and provided more oxygen, which is why people lived so long before the flood. The water for the flood cane from the firmament melting. Genesis 1:6-8 was the basis for this belief. 

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freethemall

Obviously that whole story Jill Rod mentioned (and apparently others believe too) about drilling into earth and hearing the shrieks from hell come out of the hole. Does it get weirder?

And since Orthodox Jews were mentioned - pre ripping toilet paper to have it ready for the sabbath,  so you dont have to do that "work".

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JermajestyDuggar
11 minutes ago, freethemall said:

Obviously that whole story Jill Rod mentioned (and apparently others believe too) about drilling into earth and hearing the shrieks from hell come out of the hole. Does it get weirder?

And since Orthodox Jews were mentioned - pre ripping toilet paper to have it ready for the sabbath,  so you dont have to do that "work".

Wiping your own ass is way more work than ripping toilet paper. 

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ADoyle90815

Since Mormonism was mentioned, there's also the belief that garments, or magic underwear will protect believers. Another weird belief is that the ancestors of Native Americans came from Israel in what is basically submarines, in a weird twist on the Noah's Ark story as they brought some animals with them as well, plus that Jesus visited the New World after his resurrection.

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nausicaa
1 hour ago, HereComesTreble said:

I don’t understand it—but hardcore fundies hate contemporary Christian music.  Legit, they think it’s of Satan or something because it’s modern and has a beat—even though it’s Christian music.

Yes, that weird "backbeat is sin" justification for forbidding certain types of music. They never actually define what is sinful and why, other than they basically just don't want people listening to "black music" or anything inspired by it. Racism in general is bizarre in Christianity because there is no New Testament basis for any of it. 

Another transparent attempt at a religious justification for something that is clearly cultural is how certain denominations state men must have short hair and wear pants while women must style themselves as 50s housewives, completely ignoring how Jesus and the Apostles would have dressed and styled themselves. 

Some Seventh-Day Adventists do believe that men's ties are phallic pagan symbols and forbid the wearing of them, as well as any jewelry. 

I have also met hardcore Muslims who believe that women must be circumcised or else they will be so out of control horny they will jump all over men like dogs in heat. I've never gotten an explanation for why all the women in non-Muslim countries who aren't circumcised don't act this way. 

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Wine time!
squiddysquid
8 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

A good friend of mine is Orthodox and she doesn't wear a sheitel; she covers her hair instead. 

Sheitel is the Yiddish word for those ugly wigs   Modern Orthodox women of means wear wigs that aren't so bad looking.  I was watching Fiddler on the Roof very late last night and you could see sheitels on many of the married women.  

The whole point of the sheitel seems to be that the woman only looks beautiful for her husband.  It was so that other men wouldn't hit on her and also to keep Jewish women from being raped by anti-Semites.  (yeah, we know now that rape is not a sexual act, but one of violence.)

 

Some sheitels are really pretty! Sometimes cancer patients say they are more professionally done than in runnof the mill wig shops - guess those focus more on guys?

Still don't get the logic. Scarfs sure but a wig that you can't distinct from normal hair? How does that help to show you are married?

2 hours ago, ADoyle90815 said:

Since Mormonism was mentioned, there's also the belief that garments, or magic underwear will protect believers. Another weird belief is that the ancestors of Native Americans came from Israel in what is basically submarines, in a weird twist on the Noah's Ark story as they brought some animals with them as well, plus that Jesus visited the New World after his resurrection.

And then you have women in Burkas who love shopping at Victoria's secret or agent provocateur, well OK who would ever know

That's like that rape case in (France?) where they argued because the girl was wearing lace underwear she is partly guilty... No way the guy would even have seen that before he attacked her.

 

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Wine time!
ophelia
On 3/27/2020 at 8:38 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Fundie Christians think the entire Bible is truth and an actual history book. Therefore tons of crazy beliefs are all wrapped up in that alone. 

And yet they still pick and choose which verses to follow and which not.

It's against gay people? - YESS!!!! Let's use it all the time.

It tells you to help widows and refuges and the poor? - Never mind.

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Meh
formergothardite
12 hours ago, Quiver Full of Kittens said:

The weirdest one I was taught was the firmament. The firmament was a large layer of ice above the atmosphere. It created a greenhouse effect and provided more oxygen, which is why people lived so long before the flood. The water for the flood cane from the firmament melting. Genesis 1:6-8 was the basis for this belief. 

I had forgotten completely about that! 

That animals used to talk. Since the Bible is taken literally they say the reason Eve didn't act surprised when a snake started talking was because all the animals talked at that point. And that the talking lasted after they were kicked out of the garden of Eden which is why Balaam just replied to the donkey when it suddenly started talking. He knew that some animals could talk. 

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Waffle Time
Italiangirl
13 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@Italiangirl, the sheitel was supposed to make the woman look less attractive and less likely. to their way of thinking, of being raped.  It might make the woman less attractive, but it did not lessen the woman's chance of being raped.  

oh thanks another of the men suerior way of thiking i guess...how beeing botn with a penis give them a suerior knoledged on everything but  at same time makes them unable to reisist a women who is showing some skin or god forbid her own hair!!!

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