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fundiefollower

Andrea Mills of YouTube infamy Had Cancer and Died

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Spent
potato
Posted (edited)

Tom just posted another live update and the prognosis is not good; they're sending her home because they don't expect her liver or kidneys to be able to undergo surgery/treatment and that the family prefers she passes at home.  

I've been following the Mills family for a while and I hope that they are able to find healing and peace in these devastating times.

Edited by potato
ETA a bit more detail from the video
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Gobsmacked

All I know about the American health care system I have learned about on FJ. I hope Andrea will be able to access Hospice care/Macmillan Nurses' when she needs them? 

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Giddy
FluffySnowball

I’ve never heard of Andrea Mills and her family prior to reading this thread but just watching her husband’s latest updates makes my heart go out to them. According to her husband, doctors give her mere days and she chooses to die not in the hospital but at home. I can understand her wishes in this regard and... during my mundane day and week, the videos kind of woke me up and showed me once again how much more I should appreciate life. It can be over in an instant.

My high-school math teacher’s wife died very suddenly of cancer. She didn’t have many symptoms, only fatigue and when she went to a doctor, it was determined it was too late for treatment. She chose to try regardless but passed around six weeks later. It was a huge shock.

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Queen Of Hearts

Today's news just makes me so sad. I have always liked this family. They seem sincere to me. And regardless, no children should have to lose a parent at such young ages. 

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DutchGirl

This is heartbreaking. I do'nt agree with a lot of the choices Andrea and Tom make. But the video of Tom hit hard. One of the mean things of cancer is that it is a disease thatcan sneak up on you. You might not feel great, but nothing to alarming for some time. And by the time you go to a doctor or hospital it is to late.

Those poor young children. They will have to grow up without their mother. She is the center of this family, I don't know how they will manage without her.

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luv2laugh
Posted (edited)

She has biliary (bile) duct cancer a very rare, aggressive form of cancer. I feel sick. 11 kids are going to be without their mother. What depressing, tragic news. Life is so hard and unfair. 

The doctors are not able to remove the placenta left over from the baby that she just miscarried. They don’t think she would survive being put under anesthesia to take out the placenta. She had to go through labor. They mentioned that her vitals are stable for now but that she will end up getting an infection that her body won’t be able to fight.

Andrea’s request has been to go home to die. The doctors said she will pass in a few days.

Edited by luv2laugh

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Tired
Escadora
Posted (edited)

Fuck. I mean, fuck. 

What a heartbreaking, utterly horrible situation. I couldn't help it, I teared up watching that video and I truly wish there was something that could be done. I had really, really hoped that it wasn't going to be that bad and that she'd recover, but I guess not. Thank heavens, as Tom said, that the youtube channel exists for her children, especially the younger ones, so that they will be able to know her and to see and know just how much she loved them.

Because she does, y'know. The Mills, that I've been able to tell, haven't been the type to physically discipline their children, and Andrea has shown time and again that she's willing to research and learn and invest her own time and effort into accommodating her kids' interests and likes. Absolutely, I've disagreed with her approaches to many things and I stand by what I've said in previous threads, and I won't pretend that I've changed my mind on all of that, but I imagine that it will be a huge comfort to the children to be able to watch the videos back and know their mother once more. Especially for little Hannah, who will be able to - when she's old enough - look back upon how excited Andrea was to meet her and to love her and to welcome her into the family. It won't make up for the loss, but it's something.

Certainly, it's more than I will ever have of my own mother to remember her by when the time comes. 

All of the other stuff 100% aside, no family should ever have to suffer such a loss, especially not one so suddenly and hopelessly. As I said earlier in the thread, Andrea is the heart of their home, and their home is what they're all about. My heart is aching for them and it's just so sad. 

Really, not to be a leghumper (but honestly if y'all think I am being one then fine, whatever, it's no skin off my back), but I hope her final days are spent being in as little pain as possible, surrounded by the people and the place that she devoted her adult life to. I hope her home brings her comfort and peace, and that her family finds healing and comfort also in those precious last few days with her. I hope Tom finds the strength from somewhere, and that he has the support and help necessary to heal from this and help their children to do so also. 

Edited by Escadora

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Meh
Dandruff

I admire Andrea's decision to go home.  She's ending on her own terms.  Sounds like the family is getting a tremendous amount of support from a number of different directions and that should help them a lot.  I guess that Tom is running on adrenaline now, which is useful in this sort of situation (don't ask me how I know), but will eventually wear off.  The support needs to also be around for afterwards but it sounds like it will be.

The suddeness is terrible, especially because of the kids, but prolonged suffering with little to no hope is just a different kind of hell.

 

 

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Caroline

There are no words for how tragic this is.

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apandaaries
1 hour ago, luv2laugh said:

She has biliary (bile) duct cancer a very rare, aggressive form of cancer. 

Oh no. A friend passed from that type of cancer very early and very quickly. Cancer sucks so much.

I’m so very sorry for this family and what they’re going through. This is a terribly rough road. Tragic.

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luv2laugh
Posted (edited)

The husband said the younger kids do not know anything yet.

I researched biliary duct cancer and there aren’t any significant risk factors for it. It’s aggressive, rare, and deadly. It doesn’t appear to be inherited either. They mentioned a possibility of obesity as well as excessive drinking and smoking but obviously Andrea didn’t do any of that.

Cancer is evil. It’s so unfair. I’m very sad for this family. Cancer has been striking so many loved friends and family friends I know as well as loved ones online. 

 

Edited by luv2laugh

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formergothardite

This is heartbreaking. It is terrifying that this can happen so fast. I'm glad she is able to go home to spend her last moments in her house surrounded by her family. 

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meee

I have no idea who these people are but this is absolutely heartbreaking.  I'm so sad for them.

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moreorlessnu

it's terribly sad. Grandma Fern will end up losing both her daughter and granddaughter to cancer.

 

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Glasgowghirl

This is horrible her cancer was rare and metastatic cancer is made worse by hormones, her being pregnant would have made it spread faster. Someone I follow on Twitter at Christmas had to deliver her baby a month early because she was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and she said that with it being hormone driven her pregnancy made it spread, she also made the decision to have a hysterectomy to make sure she never gets pregnant again.

My thoughts go to Andrea her husband and her children, no family should be going through this.

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kesmom

This is just devastating. I am so sorry for everyone in her life. 

 

 

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16strong

Two things I've noted, both positive: 1. Tom has fully accepted Andrea's diagnosis, and knows that nothing more can be done. Not everyone in his (horrific) position is able to do this. 2. Andrea has an absolute gift for gathering people together: her friends, her family, her youtube channel. She will leave a legacy behind her of many amazing, caring people that would do anything for the family. Tom could have shut down and closed himself off, but he is choosing to tap into the community and the love that his wife built. Reaching out, staying engaged, and celebrating Andrea's legacy will help him survive. I am shocked and horrified that so many little ones will be losing a mother, and so many loved ones a wife, friend, etc. I've been thinking of Tom and the kids all day. :cry:

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luv2laugh

Tom keeps uploading live videos on YouTube and said he will continue to all night.

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Queen Of Hearts

Tom has been live streaming a lot in the last few hours.  They are now on a plane en route to home.  At first I was a bit horrified at her being filmed in the state she is in but upon reflection I do think it will bring her kids some peace in the coming days/months/years to have gotten to 'experience' some of these final moments with their mom even though they are so far away.  In seeing the state Andrea is in and that her meds are only keeping her pain free for about 15 minutes at a time I do not believe she will have much more time left.  I hope she can make it home and have enough time to get her goodbyes in with her kids and other loved ones.

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Escadora

I've been watching all the live updates, because I'm clearly a massive hypocrite who will absolutely tell other people that it's healthy and worth it to walk away and then just anxiously check in all the time herself. I feel like I refresh youtube every so often with the expectation or hope that I've fever-dreamt this whole situation, and that I'll click on the channel and only find the homeschool videos and such. I don't know why I care so much.

I wish I didn't. 

But, for anybody who's interested in being updated but doesn't want to watch the videos: Andrea's on her way home now with Tom. They should arrive in a few hours. The baby was a little boy, they've called him Cyrus Grant Mills. The children down to Eden know what's going on and those younger than her have been told but don't quite understand. 

Really, it's just a matter of time. I hope that they make good pace, and that Andrea can hold on for long enough to make it back to her home and her family and friends (who have, as predicted, rallied around the children and the house, and have made preparations to ensure Andrea's comfort and as much ease as possible). @16strong is right, Andrea is well loved, and will be fondly remembered by a lot of people who will also rally around her husband and children. They're going to be okay. This is awful, but they're going to be okay eventually. 

What a comfort it must be to Tom and their children to believe that this is not the end. My heart, yet again, goes out to them. 

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Spent
potato

I've been trying to keep up with the videos, but had to turn them off when I saw the paramedics loading her onto the ambulance to the airport to go home.  I second @Escadora and wish that I didn't watch this most recent video; my heart feels heavy. 

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Dandruff

I've watched all of today's videos and think Tom is doing the right thing by recording them.  He could always delete some later.  They'll be available for the kids and possibly save him, down the road, from having to strain for or second-guess his memories of what was happening.

I noticed a few other women posted videos about Andrea.  I watched one briefly.  It wasn't clear how well she might know Andrea, but she was crying and it sounded like she wanted to get a group prayer session going.  It occurred to me that Andrea's situation could potentially set off some strange groupie types and I hope Tom and those close to the family carefully filter who will be allowed to stay close.  Sounds like there's a full house there already and I suspect they'll be wishing for some peace and quiet before the week is out.

This is life and death raw.  Reminds me a little of when I saw the first Duggar special on TV.  Admiration, ambivalence, and wtf all going on at once.  I don't think they'll get a TV special, but I also won't be surprised if this story gets some media coverage.

Andrea should be getting home soon.

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browngrl
Posted (edited)

I hope she makes it home and is still conscious and able to say goodbye to her children. She seems to be declining so rapidly that I wish someone had thought to bring the children to the airport so they could meet her there. Anyway I hope they get a chance to say goodbye and that she is pain free long enough to do so. 

Edited by browngrl
corrected a spelling mistake - "tpainfree " to "pain free

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Depressed
ChickenettiLuvr

I couldn't go to bed tonight until I heard Andrea survived the flight home. Tom posted an update that they hit a snag.

Because of pain meds not available if she went directly home, she'll be in hospice overnight in Gillette. They hope to get her home with meds tomorrow afternoon. 

 

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luv2laugh
Posted (edited)

It really upsets me to hear how she’s in so much pain and is declining. Ugh. I keep refreshing the page too. I’m so sad that they hit a snag and can’t go home with the pain medication. Tom loves her so much and looks completely broken. 

Edited by luv2laugh

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