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Georgiana

Dillards 77: Sex Advice from Smoochie Sweetie Sweet Muffin

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Georgiana
1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

people want to assume every adult struggling financially is because they pissed God off ...fine....but to truly believe in a God that wants these preachers to have private planes and drip with diamonds rather than feed, shelter, and get medical care to kids...

not a God I’d want to worship.  She was just totally rationalizing fleecing desperate people for personal gain.  Fuck her.

I actually had an argument with someone on Reddit who was claiming that child abuse, literal horrific CHILD ABUSE, was part of God's plan to give the child a testimony. It was in the context of Jenelle Evans from Teen Mom who just had her children removed by CPS.  They were claiming it was the right call to remove the eldest daughter, Maryssa, from mainstream schooling in order to protect her parents' ability to reinforce their religious beliefs, and if that meant that she witnessed additional untold horrors at home with no outlet and nowhere to go where she could feel safe, that was all part of "God's plan" for her. 

They would rather worship a horrific monster of a God than criticize anyone they determine to be the "right kind of Christian", which often has much more to do with that person's image than how closely they actually follow the teachings of Christ.  

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SassyPants
8 minutes ago, NakedKnees said:

I really want to avoid snarking on mess-relative-to-free-time for the reasons mentioned above (everyone's situation is different and working moms and SAHM both receive so much judgement, I'd rather avoid that convo altogether), but this does touch on something I think about frequently in regards to fundies...

Doesn't not watching TV, not masturbating (sorry for the image, but it's relevant), not drinking alcohol, not dressing very immodestly (as in without lots of effort), and not taking lead in your own spiritual life free up a lot of time at home?

I realize that when moms have umpteen kids, I realize this goes out the window. I also realize that no matter what, everyone is different and has different energy levels and priorities. We don't know everything about what's going on Jill's mind and life either. And I'm certainly projecting a little bit here 😉.

But still: I wonder what the average fundie woman's real "checklist" looks like on a day at home. They sometimes seem to present an overly perfect and regimented image (I'm thinking of Erica Shupe's ridiculous schedules and the Duggars' "jurisdictions")... but what's really going on?

Personally, I think the Duggars could have used a more efficient routine and schedule. Little kids staying awake until all hours of the night so that their older sibs can play broom ball, and then sleeping until who knows what time in the morning is counter to how the rest of the world operates. IDK, despite everything that Michelle’s little baby voice tried to tell us, I don’t think the Duggars were ever overly organized or had a decent handle on running a mega family. Jill is likely messy because that’s all she’s ever known. A person like me could never live like the Duggars, or have a billion kids because I literally would be out of my mind. The Duggars roll with what works for them. They aren’t superb homemakers, cooks, or gardeners, but it works for them. And while their way might be best for them, it would not work for most people.

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Bobology
14 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

For Jill and her family, Mary has entered eternal life, has been reunited with her loved ones,

Serious question, and I'm quoting VelociRapture to start it off because I know she doesn't get her panties in a wad and will think I'm challenging her (which I'm not)

I do not hold the same beliefs as do the Duggars about heavenly reunions. Since Lauren talked about 'seeing her baby in heaven' eventually, I've been trying to figure out the logistics of finding your loved ones in heaven. I suppose they are looking for souls (since an embryo would be unrecognizable, imo,) but Jill mentioned her gma getting a new body... and I'm more confused. If Gma Mary has already found her loved ones, each of her loved ones have loved ones they have found that are not Mary. And each of those loved ones have found their respective loved ones, which includes even more people/souls/new bodies. With 6 degrees and all it seems like there would be one huge mob (even if only really good fundies reached heaven) so each person/soul can be with her respective loved ones. I don't understand how that is actually seeing your baby/grandmother/loved one. Are there bible verses that explain how this happens and why they believe this? 

I just re-read this and it sounds a bit confusing, but I don't want to make it longer. 

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HurricaneBells
10 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

It's so jarring compared to Amy's.

"She was ready to check outta here" vs looking forward to meeting her upcoming great grandson.

I do feel a little for Amy.... it would have meant a lot for Mary to be around for her first child. Hers was the post that made me sad, the others just made me wtf (excl Jinger)

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Iamtheway

My car is a mess, my house is a mess and my office is borderline hoarders territory. I hate that I have let it all slip this far but sadly there is one thing I hate even more and that is cleaning. 

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grandmadugger

@Bobology I have always been taught it comes from this verse from Revelation. 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

There are other verses that support the idea as well. Like “in my father’s house there are many rooms and I go to prepare one for you” a lot of people believe that each family will have a “room” and everyone will have a perfect body free from pain and suffering. 

I have always thought it would be similar to checking into a hotel “Ahh yes Mrs. Duggar we’ve been expecting you. Your family is located on the 4th floor room 3. The buffet opens at 7 and happy hour starts at 5. Jesus is available from 8-4 each day for any questions you might have.” 

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LacyMay

Jill's post was definitely a bit uncomfortable to read. 

But it was her grandmother and her grief and in this situation my comfort doesn't matter. I know when my Grandfather passed I felt so much pressure to post a beautiful tribute and everything I tried to write just felt inadequate. If she believes what she posted that's all that matters. 

I feel terrible for her and her family and hope that their beliefs are bringing them comfort. 

 

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Depressed
Sky with diamonds

8m not going to judge Jill on her Grandmother post. I just hope she is able to let her emotions out. My father passed away last month, and I was there when he took his last breath, and I almost dropped to the floor afterwards.

I hope Jill can let her emotions out, if it's saddness, anger, and all the emotions that come with grief and mourning. 

I hope Derick is there for her. 

 

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JordynDarby5
15 hours ago, Screamapillar said:

Jill's tribute to Grandma Mary doesn't bother me. Not my style, but I'm not a Duggar. But it's Jill's grandmother so she's allowed to say whatever she likes.

My grandfather died last week and my social media tribute to him was a picture of him as a teenager on the beach with a surfboard under his arm. I got a lot of "what a hottie/stud/dreamboat" type comments, and knowing my grandfather, he would have loved that.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Italiangirl

@Bobology i will try ti ex0lain how i have aleay think/understood how this workshop but I dunno if will be able, since i first tried ti explain It in italiano to a friend to see if i cani put all together and then translate and she wasn't sure to have understood 🙈

Anyway here are my thoughts: basically once you pass away the veil that separate here and there will open to make you pass trought, at that time you will found someone on the other side waiting for you and that will be first the most important person for you, mother/father/husband/wife whoever you wish will come to say hello/welcome you. You will see them a little like it happen sometimes in the dream meaning that you will know it will be them even if they appear different because they will maybe look younger/ on a better shape than last time you see them/ healthy, then with time you will go around and meet friends or distant relatives that are less important to you, but still loved. 

About the new body/different body I have always interpreted as a why to say that you will look your best, so if for example you was struggling with too much weight here on the heart that will not be a problem in heaven, or if you was old and your body was giving you a hard tims, up there it wouldn't matter because you will be in the best shape 

Hope I have explain it on a way that could help you  ut let me know if should fix something 

Also now i cannot stop thi king about the hotel reception immage names uptreahd 😂

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VelociRapture
8 hours ago, Bobology said:

Serious question, and I'm quoting VelociRapture to start it off because I know she doesn't get her panties in a wad and will think I'm challenging her (which I'm not)

I do not hold the same beliefs as do the Duggars about heavenly reunions. Since Lauren talked about 'seeing her baby in heaven' eventually, I've been trying to figure out the logistics of finding your loved ones in heaven. I suppose they are looking for souls (since an embryo would be unrecognizable, imo,) but Jill mentioned her gma getting a new body... and I'm more confused. If Gma Mary has already found her loved ones, each of her loved ones have loved ones they have found that are not Mary. And each of those loved ones have found their respective loved ones, which includes even more people/souls/new bodies. With 6 degrees and all it seems like there would be one huge mob (even if only really good fundies reached heaven) so each person/soul can be with her respective loved ones. I don't understand how that is actually seeing your baby/grandmother/loved one. Are there bible verses that explain how this happens and why they believe this? 

I just re-read this and it sounds a bit confusing, but I don't want to make it longer. 

I honestly have no answer. I just know that’s kind of what they believe. 😂

I kind of took it to mean that Mary would still look like herself, but she wouldn’t be suffering the aches and pains she had during her time on earth. It would be her body made new and whole and healed in a way. I’m not sure how they’d recognize a lost pregnancy - maybe they think the lost pregnancy will manifest in Heaven as the child they would have been or something? 

Personally, I like to think any possible afterlife will be similar to His Dark Materials or The Lion King - we dissolve into invisible particles and just float around intermingled with the ones we loved most. We don’t really think or feel or anything, we’re just kind of there and at peace. Or we randomly turn into a giant Lion in the sky who urges our children to reclaim their rightful place as monarch of Pride Rock. 

(That’s obviously a joke, but I do like the idea that people important to you are somehow watching over you the way Mufasa explains it to Simba in the movie. I like to tell my daughter that the people we love never really leave us because we have memories that help keep them alive in our hearts. She’s 2.5 so she doesn’t really get it, but we’re trying to make death feel like a normal and natural thing that shouldn’t be scary. My parents didn’t have tine to do that for us prior to losing my Aunt to suicide, so it’s kind of important to try with my own kids.)

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AussieKrissy

In my Mum’s eulogy, I wrote (along the lines of) I can see her up in heaven as a beautiful 17 year old happy and free of pain. 

My Mum had always told me that 17 was one of her favourite ages. 

Maybe I was kind of influenced by the end of titanic too. Lol 

My interpretation of the new body is that you go back to the body or time that you were the most happiest. 

I can cut Jill some slack. Her Nanna, her pain. She did ok. 

Loved the hotel check in idea. 

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Ali
6 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

I kind of took it to mean that Mary would still look like herself, but she wouldn’t be suffering the aches and pains she had during her time on earth. It would be her body made new and whole and healed in a way. I’m not sure how they’d recognize a lost pregnancy - maybe they think the lost pregnancy will manifest in Heaven as the child they would have been or something? 

This is what I believed when my grandpa died of A.L.S. when I was a teenager. I saw him as himself but strong and healthy like he was before the disease took over. I also pictured him playing with my sister who was stillborn just like he used to play with his grandkids before he got sick. There was no logical explanation for it. It was just faith.

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lizzybee
Posted (edited)

Nevermind. 

Edited by lizzybee

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bal maiden
On 6/10/2019 at 9:07 AM, lumpentheologie said:

I think expecting women to keep every space they're in neat and tidy is as ridiculous/harmful as expecting them to cook three meals a day or always have done hair and makeup. People have different priorities and different things that come easier/harder for them.  As long as it's not a health hazard, who cares. 

I feel like a lot of comments here perpetuate the harmful stereotypes about women that we see in fundamentalism, often supposedly under the guise of pointing out hypocrisy. 

If I could love this more than once, I would

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SassyPants

Here’s the thing though, ITRW, everyone is judged, rightly or wrongly, even if that judgment is merely internal. Human beings need goals, connections and the ability to contribute to society in some meaningful way. These are things that make us human and add to the richness and fullness of life. The problem with people like the Duggars is, they have had a media platform for decades and they have used that platform to preach and $ell ( because they have made money by doing it) their message of superiority. As consumers of that message, viewers do get to make comments/ judgments on that message. I think we can all see how their ways/message is a complete fraud, and can hurt people. Heck, their approach has even hurt their own children. And think pointing out the flaws can be the right thing to do. Ponder on some of their safety hacks...no, just no.

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Georgiana

The way I understood recognizing people in Heaven was a myriad of ways.  First, I was taught that our senses in heaven would be far superior to our senses on earth.  It would be like if now you were only able to see blurry shadows/forms, so you learned to recognize people by their silhouette.  But then you got glasses and suddenly you were able to perceive faces, which would allow you to continue to recognize people even as their silhouettes changed.  

But also, we can recognize people at a variety of ages even if we never knew them at that age.  I can recognize my parents and even my grandparents in photos from when they were younger.  There's a couple of ways this might play out in heaven, and there are a few ways people have modeled this.  One is in the Disney movie Coco (which I'm about to slightly spoil if somehow you missed that movie), where at the end of the movie, the grandma is simultaneously reminiscent of the young girl her father remembered  AND the old woman her great grandson knew.  It's sort of odd, but you can see both her forms at the same time and despite Hector and Miguel knowing her exclusively at VERY different times in her life, both can recognize her easily.  

Another is in the less happy Haunting of Hill house (which I'm not about to spoil, but you REALLY should watch this on Netflix and at least get through episode 6 as it's possibly the best episode of TV I've seen all year).  In Haunting of Hill House, there are ghosts who appear in various ways depending on various factors.  Generally, they appear as themselves in their prime.  Sometimes, they appear as rotting corpses showing their wounds from their death.  Sometimes, they are grotesquely distorted.  Sometimes, they appear as themselves as children.  And yet, they are almost always easily recognizable.  It's not hard to identify Poppy the rotting corpse who died of old age as Poppy the young, vibrant, and beautiful flapper.  And it's not really much of a mind fuck.  That's just Poppy, in various stages of life and death.  Your brain accepts it about as well as it accepts seeing your grandparents in their wedding photos.  

But generally I was taught that heaven would be more Haunting of Hill House-esque (lol), where people would generally choose to appear as their "truest selves" aka themselves at what they felt was their prime, but may occasionally choose to appear in other forms for various reasons.  

OK, NOW I'm about to spoil Haunting of Hill House a bit because there is a stillbirth storyline:

Spoiler

Haunting of Hill House also has a side story where the house "claims" the soul of an unborn baby as the baby passes away en utero while the mother is in the house, implied to be due to the influence of the house, which can overpower the strongest of souls and overpowers the young and fragile very rapidly.  The baby's cry is actually how the whole show opens (though you don't know it at the time...seriously, if you finished it, GO BACK AND REWATCH THE FIRST EPISODE.  Everything changes when you have the context of the series, lines suddenly read differently...it's incredibly trippy).  

But anyway, at the end, the mother of the child, now a very old woman, is returned to the house to die so that her soul can reunite with her children.  When the old woman appears as a ghost, she appears as her younger self.  Her other daughter appears as she was at the age she died, and the baby that died en utero appears as a baby.  I think that's how most people believe it will be, and in that case, the "younger" daughter appears older because she was able to age whereas the baby wasn't.

It doesn't make sense when you type it, but it makes instinctive sense when you see it.  You're like "Oh yeah, of course that's how it would be with everyone together again."

 

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nickelodeon
13 hours ago, Bobology said:

I do not hold the same beliefs as do the Duggars about heavenly reunions. Since Lauren talked about 'seeing her baby in heaven' eventually, I've been trying to figure out the logistics of finding your loved ones in heaven. I suppose they are looking for souls (since an embryo would be unrecognizable, imo,) but Jill mentioned her gma getting a new body... and I'm more confused. 

I’m curious about what the Duggars believe about “spiritual bodies” too - maybe some of our ex fundamentalist users know? @formergothardite?

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libgirl2
18 hours ago, Georgiana said:

I actually had an argument with someone on Reddit who was claiming that child abuse, literal horrific CHILD ABUSE, was part of God's plan to give the child a testimony. It was in the context of Jenelle Evans from Teen Mom who just had her children removed by CPS.  They were claiming it was the right call to remove the eldest daughter, Maryssa, from mainstream schooling in order to protect her parents' ability to reinforce their religious beliefs, and if that meant that she witnessed additional untold horrors at home with no outlet and nowhere to go where she could feel safe, that was all part of "God's plan" for her. 

They would rather worship a horrific monster of a God than criticize anyone they determine to be the "right kind of Christian", which often has much more to do with that person's image than how closely they actually follow the teachings of Christ.  

That is their version of God, but that isn't God. 

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jillsdopplerofdoom

I don't know if this is the right time or place for me to say this but it feels like it is for me. I'm extremely sorry if anyone is offended by this and I do not mean to tarnish Grandma Duggar or anyone's memory but I am absolutely terrified of the whole death/heaven/new body/crossing over inevitable event. I suppose I am just scared of the unknown. I have been at the euthanasia's of about seven of my animals and it has not changed anything. They were mostly peaceful and I think it is just the unknown that scares me. There is no concrete proof that there is a heaven and what if I am/they are stuck in limbo or something? Where is heaven? What is it like there? What if I am sent to hell? Am I alone in this fear?

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Don'tlikekoolaid

This is not something I talk about very often but when I was eight I witnessed a head on high speed collision between two cars.  In one car was a father, mother, a boy, a girl and an infant of about two.  They all died, the car was on fire and my Grandpa and others tried but couldn’t get them out.  I SAW that family standing beside that car. The dad was holding the baby in his arms and had the boy by the hand, the girl had her face buried in her mother’s skirt.  The dad said “we can’t stay here”.  And they all left together.  Still blows my mind.  I truly don’t think my brain made that up.  I therefore have no fear of death for whatever that might be worth.  

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Mlissmartin
16 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

@Bobology i will try ti ex0lain how i have aleay think/understood how this workshop but I dunno if will be able, since i first tried ti explain It in italiano to a friend to see if i cani put all together and then translate and she wasn't sure to have understood 🙈

Anyway here are my thoughts: basically once you pass away the veil that separate here and there will open to make you pass trought, at that time you will found someone on the other side waiting for you and that will be first the most important person for you, mother/father/husband/wife whoever you wish will come to say hello/welcome you. You will see them a little like it happen sometimes in the dream meaning that you will know it will be them even if they appear different because they will maybe look younger/ on a better shape than last time you see them/ healthy, then with time you will go around and meet friends or distant relatives that are less important to you, but still loved. 

About the new body/different body I have always interpreted as a why to say that you will look your best, so if for example you was struggling with too much weight here on the heart that will not be a problem in heaven, or if you was old and your body was giving you a hard tims, up there it wouldn't matter because you will be in the best shape 

Hope I have explain it on a way that could help you  ut let me know if should fix something 

Also now i cannot stop thi king about the hotel reception immage names uptreahd 😂

I understand what you're saying and agree

3 hours ago, jillsdopplerofdoom said:

I don't know if this is the right time or place for me to say this but it feels like it is for me. I'm extremely sorry if anyone is offended by this and I do not mean to tarnish Grandma Duggar or anyone's memory but I am absolutely terrified of the whole death/heaven/new body/crossing over inevitable event. I suppose I am just scared of the unknown. I have been at the euthanasia's of about seven of my animals and it has not changed anything. They were mostly peaceful and I think it is just the unknown that scares me. There is no concrete proof that there is a heaven and what if I am/they are stuck in limbo or something? Where is heaven? What is it like there? What if I am sent to hell? Am I alone in this fear?

You aren't alone and I think that is why many people believe in the afterlife (as I do, although I have other spiritual reasons for believing) it eases the anxiety of not knowing

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Johannah

Doesn’t Revelations talk about people/souls being in a sleeping, unconscious state after death until after the second coming? I think that is what biblical literalists supposedly believe theologically. So this reuniting, in a better place image is in contradiction to what fundies purport to believe. 

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StraightOuttaArkansas
On 6/11/2019 at 5:35 AM, grandmadugger said:

@Bobology I have always been taught it comes from this verse from Revelation. 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

There are other verses that support the idea as well. Like “in my father’s house there are many rooms and I go to prepare one for you” a lot of people believe that each family will have a “room” and everyone will have a perfect body free from pain and suffering. 

I have always thought it would be similar to checking into a hotel “Ahh yes Mrs. Duggar we’ve been expecting you. Your family is located on the 4th floor room 3. The buffet opens at 7 and happy hour starts at 5. Jesus is available from 8-4 each day for any questions you might have.” 

I really like your hotel analogy. I think I will adopt that as my own. Might also be helpful when my littlest starts asking questions (just until they are old/mature enough to delve deeper into thoughts, which is probably older than they will be the first time they loose a loved one, as was the case with my older son).

 

6 hours ago, Johannah said:

Doesn’t Revelations talk about people/souls being in a sleeping, unconscious state after death until after the second coming? I think that is what biblical literalists supposedly believe theologically. So this reuniting, in a better place image is in contradiction to what fundies purport to believe. 

I grew up SBC and this is what I was taught, but at the same time that our loved ones are in heaven watching over us already. As I got older I never really questioned how it is possible that both are going on at the same time, now I do. I can say for SBC that they really truly believe both. I remember being taught the thing about getting a new body, but never anything beyond it will be a perfect body which was interpreted as free from pain or deformity (which as a teenager bugged me, I like my glasses, I think they are big part of who I am looks-wise, but also the ability to just take them off and restrict myself to immediate area in a physical way to get myself there in metaphorical way for focus. I cannot imagine how that might feel for someone with a disability that they worked hard to integrate into their life and still live their best life or something like how Deaf culture is such an important way of life Deaf people and more than just a difference in senses). I also remember there was some justification on this all about how God does experience time the way we do so everything is just happening all at once even though we perceive as moving slower (which honestly I think could be explained with special relativity if we assume God is just chilling further out in the universe and watching us, but I digress). I think it went something like when a person dies, we living perceive the amount of time they are gone, but the dead person jumps immediately to second coming as if now time has passed at all and we living will be dead then too when they rise (or if we are still living then we are just kind of there). I hope this added a bit? I was always too afraid of death to engage when we were taught about this kind of thing so this is just what I could handle hearing. I am sure someone else can give the actually (and more fundie version) teachings.

I am Catholic now and do not really acknowledge this part anymore. I think it is an incorrect interpretation and much prefer what I understand for the Catholic faith which is that we all become Saints when we get to heaven and are praying for our loved one who need things back on earth (ok that is super over simplified, but I am really afraid that I am going to have to explain to my toddler in a couple of years where his great grandma is). I find a lot of comfort in this both for the loved ones I have lost, but also for my "future" (not quite the word I mean, but I don't know what to say there). I also feel like it gives me an explanation for the hyper-realistic dreams I have where family members who have died "visit". The very best one was my great grandpa, who I loved so very much and had until I was 12, just came to hang out with me. We went to lunch (albeit in a very strange place) and he just asked and listened to how my life was going. No really need for me to have had this dream. I am 32 now and while I miss him it is not an everyday kind of thing anymore. I just don't know how to justify these kinds of things without believing in an afterlife.

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