Florida stories

[Howl]

 

[Screamapillar]

Quick, everyone Google "Florida Man" followed by your birthday and see what headline you get.

Here's mine: "Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked "Breathalyzer, Blow Here" Arrested for DUI

[clueliss]

Apparently, Florida Man trended yesterday on twitter due to an entire Jeopardy category titled Florida Man.

[47of74]

Quick, everyone Google "Florida Man" followed by your birthday and see what headline you get.
Here's mine: "Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked "Breathalyzer, Blow Here" Arrested for DUI

Mine involved Florida man trying to order vodka from 911

Florida man June 9

http://time.com/4363426/florida-man-drunk-dial-911-vodka/

[QuiverFullofBooks]

One of my FB friends posted that too. I put “Florida man” into Google and it added my birthday. The best out of many that came up for me was “Florida man tries to escape police by jumping head-first through window.” 

[Briefly]

I got "Florida Man worried about vampires intentionally burns down his house" along with a few others, but this one was the best.

[ADoyle90815]

I got Florida Man said he pummeled ATM for giving him too much money.

[Ozlsn]

Ooh I like this one:

Florida man rescues alligator from python.

[Howl]

Florida Man deconstructed: "There's a little Florida Man in all of us."  And the Sunshine Act.

 

[clueliss]

I got Floriday Man threatens family with Coldplay lyrics - standoff ended after swat offered him pizza

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-ends-standoff-after-police-offer-him-pizza

[AliceInFundyland]

That was fun.

https://www.vibe.com/2018/10/florida-man-cuts-penis-of-ex-girlfrind-boyfriend

[Howl]

On 3/21/2019 at 1:41 PM, clueliss said:

Apparently, Florida Man trended yesterday on twitter due to an entire Jeopardy category titled Florida Man.

Best. Thing. Ever.

[mango_fandango]

I got “Florida man clings to hood of a car traveling 70 MPH”

wtf??

[47of74]

In response to the challenge the Brevard Times compiled a list of different Florida man adventures by date

And they had a good one for June 9: Florida Man Threatens Man With Machete To Go Steal Beer From Walmart

Quote

The victim was inside his friend's boat in a wooded area near Kiwanis Island park that is just west of the Walmart Supercenter located at 1500 East Merritt Island Causeway.

According to Brevard County Sheriff's deputies, 51-year-old Michael Richard Laplante approached the boat around 9:30 p.m. on Thursday and pulled a long metal machete with a serrated edge from a duffel bag.  Laplante then allegedly demanded that the victim give him a bicycle that was inside the boat and ordered the victim to take the bicycle from the wooded area to Merritt Island Causeway.

After the two men had cleared the woods, Laplante ordered the victim to go inside the nearby Walmart and steal two six packs of beer, according to the arrest affidavit.

The victim then walked towards the Walmart but went inside Molly's Seafood Shack, a restaurant adjacent to the Walmart parking lot, and called law enforcement.

 

[47of74]

Florida men and women are having a busy week

To wit

Quote

Meet Mary Ann Parrish.

The Florida Woman, 40, was arrested early yesterday after repeatedly calling 911 to report that “her boyfriend was not being nice to her,” according to a criminal complaint.

Cops say that Parrish dialed the emergency response number six times over a four-hour period ending Monday around 1:30 AM. A sheriff’s deputy responding to one of Parrish’s 911 calls witnessed her again “on the phone with 911 while on scene.”

To wit again

Quote

On March 22, police said they responded to the Days Inn located at 2300 45th St. after the man, identified as Jon Omer Sengul, called the police dispatch line regarding the incident.

Police said Sengul told them he offered four people $500 for one or more of them to come to his hotel room and have sexual relations with him.

Sengul said he called police after giving them money, but the individuals did not come to his room.

 

 

[47of74]

Like I said, it's been a busy past few days for Florida Man

Quote

Brian Anderson, 32, told deputies with the Polk County Sheriff's Office two unknown suspects had taken his money, necklace, and his phone before jumping into a car and driving away.

Deputies responded to the scene however shortly realized it never happened. Anderson confessed he made up the story because he didn’t want to show up for his 11:00 a.m. shift at a Hardee's where he works.

Anderson was arrested and charged with Misuse of 911 and Knowingly Giving False Information to Law Enforcement

 

[Howl]

@47of74, this is a brilliant find! 

Quote

On March 22, police said they responded to the Days Inn located at 2300 45th St. after the man, identified as Jon Omer Sengul, called the police dispatch line regarding the incident...Police said Sengul told them he offered four people $500 for one or more of them to come to his hotel room and have sexual relations with him.

This man's mug shot should be next to the word ______________ in the dictionary.  Honestly, I tried but couldn't decide which word it should be.  I'll let fj decide. 

 

[47of74]

And "Doctor" Florida Man was busted operating out of a double wide

Quote

Police arrested a man in Florida accused of posing as a doctor and selling supplements from his double-wide mobile home.

Hernando County Deputies say 62-year-old Mike Fagan saw clients, sold vitamins, ordered blood work, and claimed to have a machine that treats cancer.

 

And here's a half man / half dog Florida Man

Quote

A forensic psychologist connected to some of the most infamous murder cases in the US says Austin Harrouff believed he was “half-dog, half-man” the day the then-FSU student brutally beat two people to death and was found biting one of their faces.

A forensic psychologist connected to some of the most infamous murder cases in the United States says Austin Harrouff believed he was “half-dog, half-man” the day the Jupiter resident brutally beat two people to death and was found biting one of their faces in Martin County.

In a 38-page mental-health report released by the Martin County State Attorney’s Office this week, Dr. Phillip Resnick said Harrouff believed he wasn’t human when he was found biting 59-year-old John Stevens III on Aug. 15, 2016. Authorities say Stevens and his wife, 53-year-old Michelle Mishcon, were beaten to death by Harrouff outside their home on Southeast Kokomo Lane, near the Palm Beach County border.

 

[CTRLZero]

I'm pretty new to this Florida man concept, but I enjoy reading the posts.  The other night, a Seattle Mariner baseball player dove into second base and his heavy chained pendant slapped him hard in the face a couple times.  The pendant was the form of the state of Florida(!!!), and I had to laugh with the commentators when they called him "Florida man."  Thought of this thread, so thanks for educating me on the term, everyone!

?

[47of74]

Another compilation of the wackiness Florida residents have engaged in since the beginning of the year.

This includes links to gems like how;

• Florida Woman broke into a police station and ate officer's lunch
• Florida Sheriff's Deputies seized a hot air balloon reported stolen in Indiana
• Florida Man Bicycles on I-95. Backwards and just about in his birthday suit.

[nokidsmom]

I got "Florida Man Pleads Guilty in 2018 Pipe Bomb Case" in addition to the story on the guy at the Days Inn.

 

[Howl]

@47of74, you had me at  

Quote

The victim was inside his friend's boat in a wooded area near Kiwanis Island park that is just west of the Walmart Supercenter

Anyway, Ima just note that there is a FLORIDA connection even though this starts out all "Oklahoma Man" and I'm pretty sure there is more Oklahoma Man where this came from, because......Oklahoma.  Anyway, without further ado, 

So, Joe Exotic  (who lost a Libertarian three-way primary for Gov) paid an employee a down payment to murder a Florida animal sanctuary founder, who criticized Joe Exotic (accurately) for mistreating animals at his exotic animal zoo.  Don't have the details, but Joe Exotic subsequently offered a Federal undercover agent $10,000 to do the murdering, and now Joe's going to the Big Zoo for Exotic Criminals; sentencing at a later date. 

As the article in the tweet notes, 

Quote

 

"While media attention regarding this trial has primarily focused on the murder-for-hire charges, there is a much larger significance to the wildlife charges. For years, a network of big cat owners like Passage who have engaged in cruel cub petting schemes and the exhibition of big cats have also been engaging in the illegal sale of tigers and other animals back and forth among themselves simply by checking the box on the USDA transfer form that says “donated” instead of “sale” and quietly paying cash for the animals.

Baskin added, "I hope that the detailed evidence of these illegal transfers developed for this trial will lead to more prosecutions to protect captive big cats in this country from this illegal trade."

 

 

[Briefly]

9 hours ago, Howl said:

@47of74, you had me at  

Anyway, Ima just note that there is a FLORIDA connection even though this starts out all "Oklahoma Man" and I'm pretty sure there is more Oklahoma Man where this came from, because......Oklahoma.  Anyway, without further ado, 

So, Joe Exotic  (who lost a Libertarian three-way primary for Gov) paid an employee a down payment to murder a Florida animal sanctuary founder, who criticized Joe Exotic (accurately) for mistreating animals at his exotic animal zoo.  Don't have the details, but Joe Exotic subsequently offered a Federal undercover agent $10,000 to do the murdering, and now Joe's going to the Big Zoo for Exotic Criminals; sentencing at a later date. 

As the article in the tweet notes, 

 

Yes, Oklahoma Man exists and he has cousins!  I'm Texan so maybe I'm biased, but Oklahoma Man is nuts.  But Joe Exotic is another level of crazy all together.  He deserves whatever punishment he ultimately gets, he tried to have someone killed and he is well-known to the Humane Society and other groups for his mistreatment (and killing) of his animals.  Hopefully, he will get a nice, long sentence in prison.  I suspect he may be a sociopath and possibly narcissistic based on what he's done.

[Dreadcrumbs]

On 3/21/2019 at 2:29 PM, Screamapillar said:

Quick, everyone Google "Florida Man" followed by your birthday and see what headline you get.

Here's mine: "Half-Nude Florida Man Wearing Underwear Marked "Breathalyzer, Blow Here" Arrested for DUI

I got "Florida Man Prompts Evacuation at Taco Bell After Bringing Grenade He Found While Fishing"

[47of74]

Florida Man learned the hard way that it's a bad idea to break into cars at the cop shop he bonded out of just a few minutes before

Quote

According to police, Casey Michael Lewis, 34, was booked into the St. Lucie County jail around 4 AM Thursday following his arrest at a Walmart for grand theft, a felony, and other charges. Lewis, pictured above, bonded out of custody just after 9 AM.

Cops charge that Lewis, upon walking out of the lockup, proceeded to the jail’s parking lot and burglarized a vehicle. He was subsequently confronted by deputies who spotted him pulling on car door handles in an apparent attempt to enter unlocked autos. Lewis allegedly stole an iPhone, $547 in cash, cigarettes, a debit card, and a driver's license from the auto of a female victim who told police that she accidentally left her car unlocked.

Lewis was arrested and booked into the jail on burglary, grand theft, and possession of stolen property charges.  

Lewis, a Stuart resident, was later freed on $11,250 bond on the new felony raps. He apparently departed the jail’s grounds without committing any additional felonies.