Tedious, Complicated, and Particular: Erika Shupe, Part 8

[slickcat79]

17 minutes ago, wikinggirl said:

She probably doesn't know if it's Lilly or Lacey...

I'm pretty sure I can see a pink earring in the picture, so she really has no excuse...

[princessmahina]

13 hours ago, lauraloralara said:

This, at least at one point, was/is the Shupes' church: http://scbiblechurch.org/about-us/our-beliefs/our-doctrine/

As far as my understanding goes (which is limited here; my personal/academic research has been in the Southern Baptist Convention), the total depravity, unconditional election, etc. are undeniably Calvinist - they are actually straight up TULIP doctrines.

Thanks for posting that! I never got the sense that Erika subscribed to Calvinist theology, but after thinking about it, I guess she doesn't really talk much theology in her blog. 

[Chevreuil]

On 6/30/2016 at 6:53 AM, mango_fandango said:

In the now deleted Life With Twins post, written when they were 17 months, Erika wrote that the only way she could tell them apart was by their earrings. That was OK back then as they had short hair. They have much longer hair now which is often loose, so you can't see earrings much. Almost every other mom of twins says that they can tell their twins apart because of personality differences, eg twin A is feisty and the natural leader, whereas twin B is more laid back and content to follow. Erika claimed in the post that the girls were "completely identical"- but even among identical twins there are usually some physical differences, eg a mole or birthmark or something. 

I have identical twin boys (2 months) and people are seriously obsessed with me mixing them up and it's always "what if you mix them up and they grow up with the wrong name?" It really wouldnt happen, for one thing twin A was noticeably smaller than twin B and now I can tell them apart easily (twin B is still larger than his older [by four minutes] brother) they just look different to me. 

I think of them as a collective right now because they are so young (the babies) but as their personalities start showing up (twin A is big on smiling so if I want a baby smile, I go to him. Twin B loves to bat at toys and gets so excited about it and I love watching that) I refer to them more individually.

[Anonymousguest]

1 hour ago, Chevreuil said:

I have identical twin boys (2 months) and people are seriously obsessed with me mixing them up and it's always "what if you mix them up and they grow up with the wrong name?" It really wouldnt happen, for one thing twin A was noticeably smaller than twin B and now I can tell them apart easily (twin B is still larger than his older [by four minutes] brother) they just look different to me. 

I think of them as a collective right now because they are so young (the babies) but as their personalities start showing up (twin A is big on smiling so if I want a baby smile, I go to him. Twin B loves to bat at toys and gets so excited about it and I love watching that) I refer to them more individually.

I have family members who are identical twin girls. Their parents did the painted toenail thing when they were babies, but it was" just in case". It didn't take long to tell them apart. They were about 18m when I first met them and at first they did look and sound the same to me. But it didn't take too long to tell them apart, especially if they were together. And now I can look at photos of when they were little and tell which girl it is. Usually. 

 

I think Erica is really proud of having twin girls, it makes her feel extra special, and I think she never misses a chance to remind people that she is so special she has twins! It could very well be that she does know who is who, but if she just called them by name, people might forget, or not realize that they are twins. 

[Luisainlondon1]

On 30. Juni 2016 at 5:27 PM, princessmahina said:

It sounds to me like Karen and Melanie have both started rebelling and demanding to wear what they want. Eventually they wore Erika down.

I remember some time ago a poster here said she saw Erika at a homeschool conference or something like that. Erika asked what she should do as one of her teenage daughters is talking back and has an attitude which effects the younger kids to talk back, too. 

[Chevreuil]

6 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

I have family members who are identical twin girls. Their parents did the painted toenail thing when they were babies, but it was" just in case". It didn't take long to tell them apart. They were about 18m when I first met them and at first they did look and sound the same to me. But it didn't take too long to tell them apart, especially if they were together. And now I can look at photos of when they were little and tell which girl it is. Usually. 

 

I think Erica is really proud of having twin girls, it makes her feel extra special, and I think she never misses a chance to remind people that she is so special she has twins! It could very well be that she does know who is who, but if she just called them by name, people might forget, or not realize that they are twins. 

Having twins can make you feel special. I've had people stop their cars to ask about them and everywhere I go, I am asked questions or congratulated. I get special treatment (mostly people let me get away with more things because I just had twins, so if I forget something or am not at my best, they just shrug and say "that's ok! You just had twins!" I try not to use it as an excuse, although sometimes the sleep deprivation can cause some problems), people are in awe of how I handle twins (plus three other children) without going insane. You also enter the "club" of multiple mommies (I mean, there are real clubs but I mean something different), if another "member" hears you have twins they will go out of their way to say, "you have twins? I have twins too..." and then you will hear about them and tips on how to survive them and always, always will they ask "do you have help?" (I make it sound annoying but I find it comforting and sweet)

I can see why Erika thrives on this attention, coupled with her large family, she probably gets a lot of compliments on how strong she is, how they could never do that she must be a saint and all kinds of things that go to her head and make her feel validated in how she raised her children.

[wikinggirl]

New pictures, this time from a waterpark! This isn't very modest, is it, Erika? 

[nellautumngirl]

She looks happy for once, I hope she enjoyed the day out and it relaxes her a bit. 

 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

Erika posted:  " My dad treated 25 of our extended family members to this day at the water park, then out to dinner"

That's a generous Dad!  Aren't nearly half of those extended family members Shupes?

[Koala]

You know what, I think it's fabulous (if it is what it appears to be).  She's made some serious mistakes, but all she can do now is admit it (and she should), change, and move forward.  

[princessmahina]

Good for Erika on finding a swimsuit that's modest, but not bizarre looking. She looks genuinely happy there-- here's hoping it lasts.

[nastyhobbitses]

40 minutes ago, Koala said:

You know what, I think it's fabulous (if it is what it appears to be).  She's made some serious mistakes, but all she can do now is admit it (and she should), change, and move forward.  

Yeah, I hope that this is Erika turning over a new leaf and loosening up and making positive changes for her family, but I'm only cautiously optimistic.

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, princessmahina said:

Good for Erika on finding a swimsuit that's modest, but not bizarre looking. She looks genuinely happy there-- here's hoping it lasts.

Yes, maybe she finally realised that bizarre-looking very often translates into 'not really as modest as you think because you've got everyone staring at you, which sort of defeats the whole idea of modesty.'

(although I do like some of the modest swim suits/dresses out there, they can be quite pretty)

[Hane]

On June 27, 2016 at 4:17 PM, mango_fandango said:

Well, in that potty training post she said "point his front bottom down" which implies little boy penis. It's one of the weirdest things she's ever written, and that's saying something.

Reminds me of the time my two-year-old barged into the bathroom when my father was urinating. She ran out and announced, "Papa tinkles out of the front of his tush." (He was the only male in our extended family, so she hadn't yet had occasion to see a penis.)

[wikinggirl]

2 hours ago, princessmahina said:

Good for Erika on finding a swimsuit that's modest, but not bizarre looking. She looks genuinely happy there-- here's hoping it lasts.

She does look happy! 

I'm also kind of surprised that they went to a water park. I mean, there are other people there, wearing bikinis. Maybe this is a good change for the Shupe family! 

3 hours ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Erika posted:  " My dad treated 25 of our extended family members to this day at the water park, then out to dinner"

That's a generous Dad!  Aren't nearly half of those extended family members Shupes?

He also treated them with a trip to the movies, they went and saw Finding Dory. 

I've never heard about anything like that with the popcorn though. They have free refill so they pour it into lunch bags and go and get more? 

[MsSaylor]

Do Erikas parents have a lot of money? It is very cool of them to treat the kids. I think even if Erika wanted to do more stuff like this they simply don't have the funds. 

[mallallory]

Why are those children wearing water wings in a wading pool?  If they fall down all the wings do is keep their arms afloat, not their faces. Water wings are dangerous, provide a false sense of security, inhibit swimming, and would invite bullying if your kids interacted with other children. Erika, please get the kids some proper swim lessons.  It is important that they at least know how to float, a supervised child who knows how to swim is less likely to drown. You would be able to relax a little. My kids that I nanny are 6, 10 and 10 (note the twins, Erika) and the 6 year old has been swimming on her own without floaties for over a year. My parents got my younger twin siblings and I swim lessons when we were 5, 5, and 7.  Please, please teach your children to swim. 

[JesusCampSongs]

1 hour ago, mallallory said:

Why are those children wearing water wings in a wading pool?  If they fall down all the wings do is keep their arms afloat, not their faces. Water wings are dangerous, provide a false sense of security, inhibit swimming, and 

...are especially dangerous to fundie children, who are prone to sticking them on their feet/ankles and attempting to walk on water like Jesus did. At least, that's what all my cousins and I did one day when we were in the pool and got bored.

Nobody died. but we were all hacking up water and our parents mocked us for months afterwards. 

[wotdancer]

7 hours ago, Hane said:

Reminds me of the time my two-year-old barged into the bathroom when my father was urinating. She ran out and announced, "Papa tinkles out of the front of his tush." (He was the only male in our extended family, so she hadn't yet had occasion to see a penis.)

A friend's little girl walked in on her dad in the bathroom and didn't say a word, but later she told her mom "daddy has a tail and he pees out of it!" I love little kids haha

[princessmahina]

4 hours ago, JesusCampSongs said:

...are especially dangerous to fundie children, who are prone to sticking them on their feet/ankles and attempting to walk on water like Jesus did. At least, that's what all my cousins and I did one day when we were in the pool and got bored.

Nobody died. but we were all hacking up water and our parents mocked us for months afterwards. 

I snorted wine through my nose when I read this, because this is absolutely something I would have done as a child if I had been raised fundie. I'm surprised we haven't heard of any Duggar children doing that. You know Jim Bob and Michelle would find it hilarious.

[Hisey]

8 hours ago, wikinggirl said:

She does look happy! 

I'm also kind of surprised that they went to a water park. I mean, there are other people there, wearing bikinis. Maybe this is a good change for the Shupe family! 

He also treated them with a trip to the movies, they went and saw Finding Dory. 

I've never heard about anything like that with the popcorn though. They have free refill so they pour it into lunch bags and go and get more? 

Yeah, I don't get this. God doesn't want you to limit your family size, but it's Ok with him if you cheat the movie theatre by buying a large popcorn, filling as many bags as possible, going back for a free refill, and filling some more bags until everyone has a bag?

If Erika was just buying a large popcorn and sharing it among her kids, she'd have said, "We all shared a large popcorn. The children were delighted! *smile*"

Instead, she mentions the free refills. That sounds like she used the free refills to keep filling the bags till all the kids had their own "large bag." *smirk*  Nice display of godliness, Erika. Don't your kids wonder why pants-wearing is bad but stealing from movie theatres is good?

[defraudingjezebel]

8 hours ago, MsSaylor said:

Do Erikas parents have a lot of money? It is very cool of them to treat the kids. I think even if Erika wanted to do more stuff like this they simply don't have the funds. 

I get the sense that they have a pretty good amount of money. They're not super rich but it seems like they're fairly well off. They live in a beautiful house in Anacortes with a STUNNING view of Puget Sound. That can't be cheap at all! I have to admit that I get intense pangs of jealousy every time I see pictures of their house. 

Edit: I took a look at the water park and movie pictures and I LOVE how Karen and Melanie are always wearing pants these days. It warms the cockles of my cold, feminist heart. 

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, defraudingjezebel said:

I get the sense that they have a pretty good amount of money. They're not super rich but it seems like they're fairly well off. They live in a beautiful house in Anacortes with a STUNNING view of Puget Sound. That can't be cheap at all! I have to admit that I get intense pangs of jealousy every time I see pictures of their house. 

Edit: I took a look at the water park and movie pictures and I LOVE how Karen and Melanie are always wearing pants these days. It warms the cockles of my cold, feminist heart. 

That house is insane. I can see why Erika has weekend getaways to her parents' house. If my parents had a house like that, I'd try to stay there often too.

I wonder if she ever gets aggravated about it. Her parents aren't/weren't as fundie as her. So if she sees material goods-- like an awesome house-- as rewards for good behavior, she'd be the one with the house, not her parents. So I wonder if she ever has momentary disgruntled thoughts about the "fairness" of it all.

[December]

12 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Yeah, I hope that this is Erika turning over a new leaf and loosening up and making positive changes for her family, but I'm only cautiously optimistic.

Same here! I hope that she sees how relaxing things a bit can make things nicer for the entire family. They could still practice their faith and have a fun, healthy, happy family life while interacting more with the outside world. 

1 hour ago, defraudingjezebel said:

I took a look at the water park and movie pictures and I LOVE how Karen and Melanie are always wearing pants these days. It warms the cockles of my cold, feminist heart. 

It's definitely a step in the right direction. It also signals to me (maybe I'm being too hopeful?) that they acknowledge the kids should have more say over their own lives because they're getting older, and that they won't try and treat them as kidults like some of the other families on here. 

[Mirla]

2 hours ago, Hisey said:

Yeah, I don't get this. God doesn't want you to limit your family size, but it's Ok with him if you cheat the movie theatre by buying a large popcorn, filling as many bags as possible, going back for a free refill, and filling some more bags until everyone has a bag?

If Erika was just buying a large popcorn and sharing it among her kids, she'd have said, "We all shared a large popcorn. The children were delighted! *smile*"

Instead, she mentions the free refills. That sounds like she used the free refills to keep filling the bags till all the kids had their own "large bag." *smirk*  Nice display of godliness, Erika. Don't your kids wonder why pants-wearing is bad but stealing from movie theatres is good?

I've actually had movie theatres suggest I take a courtesy cup or two in order to facilitate sharing a large popcorn among four people.

If they got no more than one refill per bag purchased, and they waited until the popcorn was consumed (or nearly so) before they got that refill, I don't have any more issue with them doing this than anyone else getting a refill.  

Truth be told, we often get a refill on the way out, because we don't want to miss the movie to go to the concession stand.

That said, we only have four people to share.  If we eat two bags, and they eat the same amount per person, that would be 5-6 bags.  If she got 4-5 refills, and I managed that theatre,  I'd be very annoyed and might consider changing the policy.