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Soul-stirring manly friendships (Doug Phillips)


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I was reading old posts on Doug's blog and found this gem from 2009. Have we discussed it before?

Good news, bad news, and then some more good news:

The good news is that the Bible extols the preciousness of deep, godly friendships, and their importance in the life of the man and woman of God. “There is a friend that loveth closer than a brother.â€

And there is a type of friendship and love which runs so deep as to knit the hearts of friends together. Here is one example of a soul-stirring friendship:

â€...The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house anymore. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.†I Samuel 18:1-3

How do such friendships emerge?

I am not fully sure. I am not sure because I believe that a soul-stirring friendship is a gift of God. There is a beautiful mystery attached to the origins of a friendship of which it can be said — “He loved him as his own soul.†Such friendships can not be forced or fabricated, but our lives are always the better for them. It seems to me that this type of a friendship requires a certain oneness of mind, a nobility of character, purpose, and vision, as well as shared experiences born out of real opportunities, adventures, and challenges. It also requires both friends to understand the “heart and soul†of the other, and to rejoice in what they see, not because they are blinded to each other’s imperfections, but because they see all things through the eyes of love. It seems to me that this was Jonathan’s response to David, and David’s to Jonathan.

These friendships are uncommon. You may know only a handful of people in your entire life who enjoy a truly soul-stirring friendship. Certainly, our modern world is not friendly to the cultivation of such friendships. Soul-stirring friendships require a nobility of purpose and mission to exist between the friends. Sometimes they are hatched in the incubator of opportunity or crisis, as with David and Jonathan. Other times they ripen over time.

However such friendships emerge, they are a special gift to be cultivated, cherished, and preserved. David and Jonathan were given the gift of this type of friendship as a testimony to men of all ages of the potential of soul-stirring friendships.

The bad news is that most people never experience these type of deep, meaningful, love-rich friendships. The other bad news is that the world does not understand this type of love. Some don’t want to understand it. Some actually hate it. Their mission is to twist that which is good and holy to advance a perverse agenda. Their response to David and Jonathan (and even the Lord Jesus and John the Baptist) is to suggest homosexuality. What a sick reflection on the psychologized and intellectually perverse spirit of the age! (Now we see similarly perverse efforts aimed at twisting the honorable response of fathers to love and win the hearts of their daughters and sons, as did the writer of Proverbs who declared “give me your heart my son.â€)

Finally, more good news: It does not matter what the Bible-twisters and apologists for the sodomite community say. What matters is this: What does the Bible say about soul-stirring, manly friendships? And this question is the subject of my recording, Manly Friendships.



The first thing I thought about was:

I wish I knew how to quit you.

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That whole CD is full of win.

I listened to it on a long car trip and I was mighty afeared I was going to attract nesting starlings my mouth was hanging open for so long.

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Guest Anonymous

Is this real? It looks like something you talented FJers cook up over in the LOL DOUG thread...

They look like they're thinking "By the time we finish posing for this stupid thing, the cattle will be scattered over four counties"

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I still can't get over Dougie calling Peter Bradrick his "bosom" friend.

If I had not read that for myself on his blog, I'm not sure I would have believed


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:D :D :D

A whole new take on "Go west, young man."

In Dougie's case it would be "Go south, young man."


I don't have any same-sex "soul-stirring friendships" at this point in my life, and I occasionally am sorry for it. But I do have that kind of friendship with my headship. I think Dougie just isn't capable of connecting on that level with any woman, not even his "bride" of 20+ years.

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And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house anymore.

What???!!! Saul took David away from HIS FATHER'S GOVERNANCE???!!! But...but...but...DADDY KNOWS BEST! All children must remain with Daddy until marriage! Did Daddy agree to this? :D

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The whole thing has me baffled, so I took the matter to my headship.

Me: Do you have any bosom friends, Mr. Hisey?

Mr. H: (incredulous) What?

Me: Bosom friends. Who are yours?

Mr. H: What does that mean? That we suckled at the same teat?

Me: Men don't use the term "bosom friends?"

Mr. H: (strongly) No!

Me: Because I'm reading this blog. . .

Mr. H: I know who you mean! He's crazy!

Me: So you don't. . .

Mr. H: Crazy. Nuts. Completely crazy.

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A long time ago, I remember having read a gay-male romance novel in which an older man recalled his first romance, as a teenaged boy, with an older cowboy he traveled around with: "I was his jocker, and he was my man." (God knows why that sentence stuck in my mind.) This book cover reminds me of that.

Oh, and Hisey? Your conversation with Mr. Hisey? The best thing I've read all day.

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Oh my God, that cover is hilarious. And it's even more hilarious because it's real. It looks like a gay cowboy wedding party circa 1870. Like if Brokeback Mountain had had a happy ending. In the 19th century.

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