The "Clean Reader" app

[nomoxian]

Hey, you leave "Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles" out of this...

Along with "Harry Potter Turns To the Lord" and "The New Girl On Voyager". *snort*

Can you tell I love shitty Christian fanfic?

"Answer the door Harry" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen and put a tray of moist chocolate brownies in the oven.

"Shouldn't you be doing that?" Harry thought.

Oh yes; this story teaches great Godly lessons indeed!

[nomoxian]

My parents had this for TV when I was growing up. Whenever a "bad" word was detected in the closed captioning, it muted the show momentarily and showed the caption with the bad word replaced with an acceptable one. My favorite moment was during a Corn Flakes commercial where the rooster crows and the closed captioning read, "JERK A DOODLE DOO."

That was how I found out that "cock" is a bad word and isn't just a term for a rooster.

Jerk a doodledoo :lol: That is waaay dirtier than the original!

[FundieFarmer]

"Answer the door Harry" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen and put a tray of moist chocolate brownies in the oven.

"Shouldn't you be doing that?" Harry thought.

Oh yes; this story teaches great Godly lessons indeed!

I loved this fanfic so much that when I would share it with my boyfriend, I would annotate it. Sarcastic comments ensued, because I do have short (sometimes curly) blonde hair and rarely wear makeup. Apparently, Petunia is my spirit animal.

Never thought I'd say that...

[lawlifelgbt]

As a voracious reader, and also a writer, this makes me really mad. Also, if you're censoring words, you're still allowing all sorts of "harmful" stuff through.

If I'm ever published, this app would basically black out entire pages (there's not much cursing, but the protagonist is gay). However, apparently it would leave in the violent parts (kidnapping, threats, a SWAT raid)...see what I mean about words not being the problem?

[Maggie Mae]

I LOVE e-readers, and was really happy when JK Rowling finally figured out that they would make her books more accessible to people with disabilities. I still dislike the hoops I have to jump through to purchase the Harry Potter books, but I also like that she didn't sign exclusive agreements with either of the big ebook purchasing people.

This app is dumb, but it's just using technology to do what people did for age. Which is black out sections of books with markers to protect their kids or whatever. It's so frustrating to me that people like this are unteachable. Scribbling out the word "magic" (where is tarynn, anyway?) on the magic bullet is not going to protect the kids from learning about magic. If anything, some day they will peel back the tape or see a magic bullet in a store, and wonder why mom is crazy.

What will help kids is open and free access to books and other reading materials. They need to have the desire to learn. Some kids might not have any desire to learn, but that's pretty rare. Censoring words from books just ruins the books and makes kids not want to read because it's dumb. When I was a kid we looked up bad words in the dictionary, and learned about sex in the encyclopedia, and we also learned about other things too. From reading fiction and looking things up and being told if we didn't know something that there are ways to find out. But fundies don't want kids to learn or question, or do anything other be cleaning robots.

[ADoyle90815]

Nope - it's called Clearplay.com. Check out their website! Lots of squeaky-clean looking folks there!

Regarding online filters: take it from this librarian, they're frustrating as hell. Just try helping the kid who's doing a science report on the bushtit (it's a bird...) using a filtered computer. :lol:

ETA: I stand corrected! There WAS a Utah-based company called CleanFlicks that is no longer in business. But Clearplay is alive and well. Wikipedia has articles about both. Live and learn!

I remember the controversy over Clean Flicks as I remember how upset Mormons were when that company was forced to shut down. This was back when AOL was still around and they had message boards on various current events, and it was a lot of fun to sit back and watch strict Mormons fight over this with those such as myself who agreed with that court's decision. :popcorn2:

[moodygirl86]

I hope this woman never takes it into her head to defile one of Irvine Welsh's brilliant novels! There'd be miles upon miles of blank pages with the odd "cannae" and "aboot" to leave any clue as to the writer's identity. He's clever and darkly funny, but over liberal on the Scottish profanity.

[Inthemadhouse]

I once found a copy of a novel (It might have been The Lincoln Letters, I can't remember exactly) where someone had blacked out the naughty words with a sharpie.

I was every bit of 25, but I stood there like a 12 year old, giggling and holding the book up to the light just so I could see what naughty word had been blacked out this time. Hello Forbidden Fruit!

[JBsHairspray]

Blasphemy!

So I guess "50 Shades" would have three words? Ana, Christian, and Grey?

With Ana censored as it might be too close to anal

[JBsHairspray]

Also, wouldn't it be fun to feed the Duggar books through this app and see what it spits out??

[ViolaSebastian]

My parents had this for TV when I was growing up. Whenever a "bad" word was detected in the closed captioning, it muted the show momentarily and showed the caption with the bad word replaced with an acceptable one. My favorite moment was during a Corn Flakes commercial where the rooster crows and the closed captioning read, "JERK A DOODLE DOO."

That was how I found out that "cock" is a bad word and isn't just a term for a rooster.

This story is my everything. Thank goodness I wasn't eating or drinking when I read it. If you ever get a custom post count title, please let it be jerk a doodle doo. :lol:

[smittykins]

I was once on a music-related message board whose censor filter "corrected" Dick Clark's first name to "Thingy." :lol:

[DGayle]

If people are using an app to strike out words they don't want to read from their own copy of the book, how is that any different than someone buying a book and a pen, and asking me to strike through a list of words? A buyer can alter their purchased item any way they wish. If they then sell copies, that's not legal. But all they're doing is editing their personal versions.

[DGayle]

Blasphemy!

So I guess "50 Shades" would have three words? Ana, Christian, and Grey?

I want to know how many fundies love those books since the word Christian is in there. And because they see no problem with a woman not being allowed to say no anyway.

[DGayle]

I remember years ago there was a company, I think in Utah, that would edit movies on video to take out all the bad words and naughty words. I believe that they were forced to shut down.

They were selling altered copyrighted property to the general public. That's not legal.

[DGayle]

I recall an automatic replacement of "black" to "African-American" to be politically correct, but the ended up replacing black-time with "African-American-tie."

[Firiel]

This story is my everything. Thank goodness I wasn't eating or drinking when I read it. If you ever get a custom post count title, please let it be jerk a doodle doo. :lol:

Glad I didn't ruin your keyboard!

They also replaced the word "sex." With "hugs."

So characters would say, "We had hugs last night" and other such ridiculous things.

[Trynn]

The hugs of the person is female.

[church_of_dog]

The hugs of the person is female.

"How to Tell the Hugs of a Baby Chicken"

or every form we have to fill out: "Hugs: []Male []Female"

:doh:

[artdecades]

Nope - it's called Clearplay.com. Check out their website! Lots of squeaky-clean looking folks there!

Regarding online filters: take it from this librarian, they're frustrating as hell. Just try helping the kid who's doing a science report on the bushtit (it's a bird...) using a filtered computer. :lol:

ETA: I stand corrected! There WAS a Utah-based company called CleanFlicks that is no longer in business. But Clearplay is alive and well. Wikipedia has articles about both. Live and learn!

I believe the difference is that ClearFlicks took the films, edited them, and sold them as DVDs and collected the profit. They failed to realize what they were doing was akin to bootleggers selling dvds on the street corner. But, of course, they are the victims cuz christian persecution. ClearPlay is a DVD/Computer system where they have created programs to eliminate bad content from specific movies and you still have to purchase/rent the movies from authorized sources in order to view them.

[ariel9]

I wonder what would 50 shades of grey be like

[Mrs Ms]

Either you object and don't read a book/watch a movie or you put your big person panties on and read/watch the whole thing!

I could have done with an internet filter the day I decided to solve an "argument" with my partner by using google-images though. My 5 year-old was standing next to me and it wasn't until I hit "enter" that I remembered that the word I was looking up (acorn) has 2 meanings in german and that we were about to see a loooooot of penis images. :lol: :lol: :lol:

We all had a good laugh, I proved my point and got to teach short-stuff that one word in one language can mean many things in another. Thank goodness nobody was the slightest bit fazed by the images :embarrassed:

[nomoxian]

Either you object and don't read a book/watch a movie or you put your big person panties on and read/watch the whole thing!

I could have done with an internet filter the day I decided to solve an "argument" with my partner by using google-images though. My 5 year-old was standing next to me and it wasn't until I hit "enter" that I remembered that the word I was looking up (acorn) has 2 meanings in german and that we were about to see a loooooot of penis images. :lol: :lol: :lol:

We all had a good laugh, I proved my point and got to teach short-stuff that one word in one language can mean many things in another. Thank goodness nobody was the slightest bit fazed by the images :embarrassed:

I just had to Google that... the results were more :oops: than "gurken" (cucumber)

[Mrs Ms]

Hahahaha, sorry! Was thinking how to word some kind of warning - but then realised that the mention of penis images might work.

Trying to find a video to the song "Cream" by Prince widened my (already unsheltered) knowledge of porn available too! :ew: Luckily these days the music video turns up on the first page of results....

Edit to add: Just because a word isn't "naughty" or "dirty" doesn't mean the meaning and result won't be!

[artdecades]

All this is making me think of a local radio station here that is a bit overzealous when censoring songs. In addition to "bitch" and "hell" which other stations don't censor, they have taken to censoring anything remotely sexual. So when you hear Beyonce's Drunk in Love, the words "breasteses" (thats how Jay-z says it), "panties", "drawers", as well as the "eat the cake, anna mae" lyric are all bleeped. They will keep lyrics about having nothing on or taking off clothes, but taking off panties is too explicit. A few years ago there was a Rihanna and Drake song that had a lyric about "go[ing] downtown" which was also censored. If you are a young kid, you aren't going to understand that "going downtown" is a euphemism, but you do understand that the bleeped words are bad. So basically they are telling kids who may otherwise think it was about spending the day in the city that it is actually something dirty and naughty. How does this help anyone?